Ichimaru Gin's Diary
by Amaterasu Ai
Summary: This is Gin's Diary-kun. Sometimes he would read it back to himself,and wonder,why the war?But then he gets a reminder once in a while.Of course,the Espada always are full of surprises. "BANDAIDES PROTECT YOU FROM GERMANS?" No,Nnoitra,not quite. Extreme crack
1. Diary

The Diary of Ichimaru Gin

Chapter 1: Diary

Entry 1

Yay! It's the first entry! Aizen-taichou asked all the Espada plus Tousen and me to write in journals :)

Nnoitra keeps calling it a diary... Harribel-chan keeps glaring at him while the blue kitty says its a journal...

So...I heard ya are suppose to write ya 'feelings' in these here diaries. Ok, I will.

Entry 2

Right now I am on a stone table or bed...

I can't tell the difference...

So...

I'm writin' in my new diary...

I wonder if Aizen-taichou keeps one...

Entry 3

"Aizen-taichou..."

"Yes, Gin, my brother?"

"Do ya keep a diary, too?"

"..."

"...So do ya?"

"...Why yes, yes I do."

"Wanna decorate 'em with stickers with me?"

"...That would be wonderful my brother..."

Then he walked away muttering something about how gay I acted.

I AM NOT GAY!

Entry 4

Remember how I said I'm not gay?

Well, are ya talkin bout happy gay? Or gay gay...like Szayel?

If yer talkin bout happy gay, then yes, I am gay.

But if yer talkin bout Szyael gay, then no, thats just him, not me^^

Entry 5

I decided ta take a walk.

So I went to the halls of Fraccion.

Where the Fraccion live when they're not with their Espadas.

Lylinette kept poking people...

Baragan's Fraccion were betting if Charlotte could go a day without wearing a skirt...

Harribel-chan's Fraccion were texting her... Sun-Sun asked about my diary^^

Emo bat boy doesn't have any Fraccion... I should ger Aizen-taichou to asign him one^^

Tesla is walking beside me...I mean 5 feet away from me like a stalker... Yay, I got my own stalker^^ (AN: he's being serious lol)

Shawlong was drooling in his sleep while the others were poking him and throwing Doritos at him... (AN: I dont own doritos)

Pumpkin freak didn't have any Fraccion...

And Szayel's were...eating each other... OMG CANNIBALS!

I better get to bed now^^ It's past nighty night time and I just chugged 3 bottles o' SAKE! Right after seeing Granz'z lovely canniballsss!

_**STICKERS 4 DIARIES FOR THOSE WHO REVIEW^^**_


	2. Pretty Red Bow with a Bell Attached

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 2: Blots da KITTY

Entry 6

Wow-zys

Its 4 in DA FREAKIN MORNIN!

Entry 7

All da lovelylylyly Espaday are soooo lovely^^

Especially dat Grim-jow!

He has reallllyyy niiiiice hair! So bluee, blue, spiky, blue, and WILD!

I should go see him^^

Entry 8

"GRIM-JOW-CHAAAAN!"

"WHAT?! YOU FOX FACED FREAK, IT'S 4 IN THE FREAKIN MORNING!"

"Yer hair is niiiiiice^^ "

"…"

"Whatcha' doin'?" ^^

"…playin'"

"OH MY FOX PLUSHIES! IT'S A BLUE KITTY CAT WITH DARK BLUE STRIPES! CAN I PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE PLAY WITH IT?!"

"WHY THE H- fine… Just…be super careful, cause Blots was mah first stuffed animal…"

Entry 9

"Oh my goodness, are you crying, Gin?"

"NO! IM NOT CRYING!"

"Just checkin."

"…NNOITRA CALLED ME SYZAEL GAY, AIZEN-TAICHOU!"

"…Did you try stealing his new Eggroll Spoon?"

"…Good idea, Aizen-taichou ^^

Entry 10

Aww, poor Grim-jow.

It's now in da morning^^

I lost Blots when I left Grim-jow's room…

Grim-jow was really really super mad…

SO I gave him a present to cheer him up

Entry 11

"GRIM-JOW-CHAAN! I GOT A PRESENT FOR YA!"

"WHAT?! ARE YOU GONNA RUB IT IN MY FACE THAT I LOST BLOTS?! SO WHAT IF HE HAS STRIPES AND I CALLED HIM BLOTS?! I WAS ONLY 5 IN HUMAN YEARS!"

"…I was wondering about that."

"…"

"Anyways, I got ya a present!"

"…What is it?"

"I got ya a pretty red bow with a bell attached to it! But the bell is on a pretty string! The string's on the bow, thought ya would like it!"

"..It's red…"

"Ya! I got the bell from Zaraki-taichou back when I was in da Soul Society."

"It's a red bow…"

"Ya…it's red…and it's a pretty bow too^^

"IT'S A PRETTY RED BOW **WITH A FREAKIN BELL!**"

"YA! It IS pretty! Ya gotta admit that!"

"…"

**THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!!! PLEASE REVIEW WITH IDEAS AND STUFF!**

…

**NYLORAC-CHAN'S NOTES ARE OVER NOW!**

…**HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!**

**Gin: Ja bai bai^^**


	3. Mai Cifer

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 3: Mai Cifer

Entry 12

Grim-jow had ta go on a mission ta'day with Ulquiorra.

Entry 13

I took Nnoitra's new Eggroll Spoon like Aizen-taichou said.

He got super mad.

It was funny.

Entry 14

Wow…

There's this new arrancar in Las Noches.

How I know who's new and who's old is a mystery.

The new girl gotta fork hood thingy.

Nnoitra kept staring at her.

And he started staring at sporks and trying to find all of 'em.

Entry 15

"Any question before I end the meeting?"

"Can you get my Fraccion to stop texting me so much?"

"… Why would they text you, Harribel?"

"They wanted to see if I thought Grimmijow was hot."

"What did you say?"

"He is my brother, according to Aizen-sama."

"So…do you think he's hot if he _wasn't_ your brother?"

"…"

"So ya think he's hot Harribel-chan?"

"…Ichimaru, think of it like this. Do you think that girl in the Soul Society with the large…chest is "hot?"

"STOP GOING THROUGH MY STUFF! I said my room was off limits!"

"You DO keep a picture of her, Ichimaru-sama," said Szayel.

Entry 16

"Aizen-taichou."

"Yes, Gin, my brother?"

"Why doesn't Ulquiorra have any Fraccion?"

"Because he chose not to."

"Can I assign him one?"

"…"

"…So can I?"

"Would you like your head cero'ed off?"

"…Nevermind^^"

Entry 17

Grim-jow and Emo bat boy came back this evening^^

"Where did yer pretty red bow go?"

"…no where…"

"He gave it to Mai."

"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL HIM THAT ULQUIORRA! YOU BROKE THE TRUST BOND!"

"The trust bond was how long we both held on to that bell… I did not want to hold that trashy bell anymore, you trashy sexta."

"HEY! I went to YouTube once and someone said that I put the SEX IN SEXTA! YEAHHH!"

"…Grimmijow…there are children here…"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

"Gin…"

"Oh yeah…"

"Who's Mai?" ^^

Entry 18

I met this girl with blue hair…

She was wearing it in some sort of bun…

She's wearing an arrancar uniform that looks kinda like mine…

And she has da pretty red bow without the bell tied around her right wrist.

Grim-jow gotta CRUSH!

Entry 19

NOOOOOOO!

Aizen-taichou assigned me a Fraccion!

When I asked him why he said that Ulquiorra suggested it.

Oh well, I wonder who it is.

Aizen-taichou said that they're gonna be an assistant^^

Entry 20

"Gin, meet your new daughter."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN BOUT?!"

"…Your new assistant…"

"Oh…"

"Mai Cifer will be your new Fraccion/Assistant."

"Arrancar No. 87, Mai Cifer!" she said happily.

"She's 87?"

"We started running short on arrancar so I took her in…"

Entry 21

"So, Mai-chan, is Ulquiorra yer brother?"

"No."

"Yer cousin?"

"No."

"Yer…distant…relative?"

"No."

"A 5th cousin or something?"

"No."

"An aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, daddy, mother, brother, sister, cousin, anything?"

"How could he be my mother? He's a he."

"…Oh ya…"

"…"

"Is he yer lover?"

"NO!"

"Oh…"

"Is that lady you have a picture of YOUR lover?"

"MY ROOM IS OFF LIMITS!"

Entry 22

Well, I gotta say, Mai doesn't look like an Arrancar.

She don't got a hollow hole.

Or any mask remains.

But she got a pretty sword that reminds me of that girl whatchamacallit? Oh ya, Rukia.

Sode no Shirayuki the blade looks like Mai's sword…

Entry 23

"Ichimaru-sama."

"Mai-chan, I gotta go on a mission, and Aizen-taichou won't let meh bring my diary…"

"Okay."

**PLEASE REVIEW EVERYONE!**

**I GOT A PICTURE OF MAI ON FACEBOOK I MIGHT TRY AND DO SOME SORT OF LINK**

**HOPE YA LIKE IT EVERYONE**

**2****nd**** update today woo hoo**


	4. Grimmijow

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 4: FanFiction

Entry 24

Ichimaru-sama left a few minutes ago.

He was wondering about how people knew what was in his diary.

Don't tell him, but I started posting his entries on here.

What do you people think?

Entry 25

"Hey, Mai, I'm the Sexta Espada!"

"Oh, really…that's nice…"

"One of my fans said I put the sex in Sexta!"

…The Sexta Espada is very disturbing…I will ignore that wink for now…

"That's good for you…"

"I'll give you a tour of the place, if ya want. Most of the other idiots wouldn't."

"…That would be nice, Sexta. Where should we start?"

"Call me…_**Grimmijow**_!"

He made that sound very…dramatic-y.

Entry 26

"We're almost done now, this is Ulquiorra's room."

"Get out of my room, Sexta."

"WOW! HOW ARE YOU HANGING UPSIDE DOWN?!?!?!?!"

"…Shut it, Cifer. I can Cero your head off right now."

"YOU WILL NOT DO THAT!"

"You have a crush on Gin's Assistant?"

"YOU SHUT IT, YOU EMO VAMPIRE!"

Then those two started fighting…

Entry 27

Grimmijow is now in the hospital place of Las Noches…

Ulquiorra is sleeping.

So I'm stuck with the Tercera Espada, Tia Harribel.

Entry 28

"Harribel-sama, um…I'm Mai Cifer…"

"Ulquiorra's sister?"

"No…"

"Lover?"

"NO!"

"I will treat you as my daughter! Don't worry, it's okay if you like Cifer."

Entry 29

"YAAA!"

O_O

Nnoitra just stabbed me through the head…

Entry 30

"H-how are you alive?"

"SUX 4 YU!"

"…"

I lifted the hair outta my face.

"Oh…your hollow hole…."

Entry 31

It really boring without Ichimaru-sama around…

I must be boring you readers…

What should I write about then?

Entry 32

…I woke up from my afternoon nap to a very shocking surprise…

I think I screamed…but I couldn't…because I was freaked out…

I woke up to find Grimmijow on top of me…

I was very very scared…

Entry 33

"G-Grimmijow!"

"Mai, you're awake."

"W-what are you doing?"

"Oh, Aizen threw my bag of Doritos over your bed. Since your bed likes pressed against the wall, I wanted my Doritos so I climbed over ya, and you woke up."

"…"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine… I thought you were…"

"…What are you- OH MY BLOTS, Mai! I-I would NEVER do that to you!"

"Yes, you would," said Harribel as she walked by.

"…"

"What?"

"Um…Grimmijow?"

"Yes…?

"Could you…get off of me? You're crushing my arm…"

"Ohhh, alright, sorry… Let me make it up to you…"

"For……How…..Wha?"

"For scarin you like that, how…uh… I'll take you to the World of the Living, and what….I guess that's it…"

"…Okay…"

"OH NO! ICHIMARU-SAMA IS BACK! EVERYONE CLEAN UP HIS ROOM, QUICK!!!" yelled Szayel.

Entry 34

**I'm back everybody!!!!**

I can't believe it!

Mai has a boyfriend!

Harribel wants a daughter!

AND THE ESPADA HAD A PARTY IN MAH ROOM AND THEY DIDN'T INVITE ME!

Entry 35

Aizen-taichou decided that we all go to the World of the Living tomorrow.

Mai is allowed to come^^

Well, ja bai bai everyone^^ Ima goin ta sleep now, cause I need to get some rest!

**Please read and reiview**

**Sorry if it was odd weird or screwed up 2 yu anyway**

**Chapter 4 done**

**IDEAS FOR 5 PLZ**


	5. World o' the Livin'

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 5 World of the Livin

Entry 36

I woke up this mornin' ta' Mai playin' with Grin, mah smilin' fox plushie.

She looked like a little kid.

Entry 37

"My gigai itches."

"Stop complaining, Fraccion."

"But you got everyone else's gigais right!"

"No, I made Grimmijow's too short, Nnoitra's too small, and Ichimaru's with a weird back."

"Well, we can forgive you for an accident," said Harribel.

"Who said it was an accident?" muttered Szayel.

"Fuggle you, pink-freak."

Entry 38

One o' ya "reviewers" hit Grim-jow over da head.

He is like a giant cat now that ya mention it…

Entry 39

World o' the Livin' is odd.

We went inta' this "computer store" and watched somethin' called YouTube.

Apparently, there's dis' very popular Asian kid.

Ulquiorra enjoyed watching it a lot ^^

Entry 40

_This is Mai Cifer._

_I don't know what sick minds you have, but one of you reviewers called Grimmijow a rapist._

_I kind of agree with you there…_

Entry 41

Well, Aizen-taichou called on Harribel-chan's cellphone thingy.

He said that Fred was better then Nigahiga.

Ulquiorra had a mad rampage 'bout it.

Entry 42

Apparently, Mai wants her own diary.

_Why don't you call it a journal?_

Holy fox plushies! Yer' writin' in mah diary!

…

Well, Mai-chan, what do ya think o' the Espadas?

Grimmijow seems ta like ya a lot^^

_Ichimaru-sama…_

Yeessss?

_Shut up, and get me a bag of Doritos._

Entry 43

Why does everyone suddenly got an obsession with Doriots?

Lays are a lot better in my opinion.

Entry 44

_Mai again._

_I wanna ask you readers somethin'._

Who do ya like better?

Mai?

_Or Ichimaru-sama?_

It seems when Mai is around some things happen~

_Shut up and get me a bag of Doritos already._

Entry 45

I gave Mai a bag o' Lays instead.

She likes 'em now.

Yay, another Lays lover!

Entry 46

Well, it's gettin' a bit late.

_Ichimaru-sama, we have no where to sleep for the night…_

…Use yer' "Ima cute lil' girl that needs a place to sleep" skill.

_Good idea, Ichimaru-sama._

Entry 47

"Mister, can you pwetty pwease find a pwace for me and my family? The man we worked for kicked us out because daddy creeped him out."

"Oh you poor little girl! That smiling man creeps myself and my wife out greatly, but of course we will give you all a home for the night! Even the fox faced freak!"

"Thank youuu, Mister Nice Man!"

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!**

**IDEAS TOOO PLEASE!**


	6. Death Note

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 6: Death Note

Entry 48

Hiya, it's Mai again.

Ichimaru-sama is watching Death Note right now.

He's actually opening his eyes to watch it…

He looks creepy…

I mean, even Sexta and the Cifer guy were surprised.

The Emo one looked funny^^

Entry 49

(Ima still Mai)

This is what I overheard when I walked past Sexta's room.

*in a sing songy voice* "I put the SEX in SEXTA! Cause I'M, too sexy for my clothes! Too sexy for my clothes! OH YEAH! SO SEXY! And when I take 'em off its BATH TIME!"

He then sang it again…

"SO SEXY!"

And added a part about me getting a nosebleed.

Why would I get a nosebleed?

Entry 50

Half way ta' 100!

Gin again~

Isn't Mai so innocent?

Entry 51

The people who lives here let us live here like a time share^^

They're leavin for a place called Florida for their other time share.

Entry 52

Mai is curled up and hiding under mah white jacket thing.

Ima gonna see why.

This should be fun^^

Entry 53

Mai told mah when happened.

_MAI'S FLASHBACK_

"I'm makin' cupcakes. Want one Grimmijow?"

Grim-jow kept starin' at her.

"Grimmijow? Do I have something on my face?"

He then proceeded to kiss Mai on the cheek ta get the frostin' off.

Then Sonido-d away before she could cero him in the face.

Which leads us to where we are now.

Entry 54

Mai again…

I'm guessing Ichimaru-sama told you about the Sexta…

IF I HAD A DEATH NOTE THEN I WOULD KILL HIM.

But then his fangirls would hunt me down…

I don't want that to happen…

It would be a living nightmare.

But I AM dead so does that make it a dead nightmare?

Entry 55

_L and Light from Death Note are pretty smart._

Why do they call him Kira?

_We're only on Episode 6…_

I don't even remember what just happened…

_Ichimaru-sama, its time for you to go to your therapist._

But I don't wanna!

_Aizen-sama said you could bring Grin with you. (His fox plushie)_

Ja bai bai, Mai^^

Entry 56

Harribel-sama was texting the Primera today.

She let me text him.

Entry 57

Me: Hello Primera-sama

Primera: im starrk I heard ur Mai Cifer, 4s sister.

Me: I'm not his sister…

Starrk: his relative of some sort?

Me: …no

Stark: lover?

Me: NO

Stark: grimmjow's lover?

Me: good bye, primera-san...

Entry 58

Ichimaru-sama came back from his therapist.

It turns out that he's not "sane enough" to have an assistant.

Wait, what will happen to me then?

Entry 59

We found out that's happenin' to Mai-chan.

_I'm getting a new Espada to be my boss._

**Aizen wants it to be me.**

_Harribel-sama, you are the only girl._

Woah, Harribel-chan and Mai-chan are writing in my diary again.

What's everyone doing? Mai's getting a new boss?! MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

**Grimmijow what are you doing here?**

I got bored.

_I was talking to you when you walked away, you trashy sexta._

It's not nice to call people names, Ulquiorra.

_Shut up and get us some Doritos._

_Lays are better._

This is confuzzling…

Who's who?

_Mai's me._

**I'm Tercera Espada, Tia Harribel.**

That's your first name? Mine's better! GRIMMIJOW!

_Ulquiorra Cifer. And the world is full of trash…like a trash can._

That's better.

Entry 60

OMG! (Mai again)

L LOOKS SO KAWAII/CREEPY/FUNNY WHEN HE SMILED IN episode 6.

Oh, by the way, do any of you know anything about wire signals? All that stuff?

The author of this "story" has to write a 3-5 minute speech on it.

She hates it.

And she's doing the immature thing by watching Death Note instead of researching.

Entry 61

Grimmijow is jealous.

Why ya probably ask?

Mai was squealin' 'bout how cute L was.

Then said he looked a bit like Ulquiorra.

She kept starin' at him an' makin' comparisons.

Grimmy Kitty was shooting death glares the whole time^^

It was fuuuunnnnnyyyyyy~

Entry 62

Ichimaru-sama suddenly left.

Along with Harribel-sama trying to tell him something about how it's rude to take pictures of people during the day even if Soul Society is our enemy.

Entry 63

I have a sudden urge for potato chips…

Wow…Lays are

**THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO REVIEW!!!**


	7. Ja Bai Bai, Mai

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 7: Ja Bai Bai Mai

Entry 64

This is Ulquiorra Cifer.

That trashy Cifer girl got cut off last time, didn't she?

I blame Grimmjow.

Entry 65

…

Gin has not returned yet…

He must be stalking that woman in the Soul Society.

I could almost hear his voice…

*In Soul Society*

"MY ROOM IS OFF LIMITS TO THE ESPADA AND EVERYONE!"

Entry 66

The trashy Sexta keeps singing his new "theme song"

In case you don't know, this is his theme song, here he's singing it now.

"**I put the SEX in SEXTA! Cause I'M! TOO SEXY for my clothes! Too sexy for my clothes! OH YEAH! SO SEXY! When I take 'em off its BATH TIME! And Mai's gonna get a nosebleed!"**

I want a theme song…

Entry 67

_Ichimaru-sama isn't back yet STILL._

Don't worry, Mai! Gin isn't even your boss anymore! Harribel is.

_But, Sexta-sama, Harribel-sama isn't back yet either…_

Then who will be your Espada, trash?

What did Gin say about calling people names, Ulquiorra?

Shut up and get us some Doritos.

_Lays are better…_

No, I like Cheetos better.

DORITIOS ARE BETTER, TRASH.

Nigahiga sux, Fred is better.

YOU DID **NOT** JUST GO THERE.

I did, trash.

That's my line!

_*sigh* aren't we such a loveable family?_

Entry 68

Aizen-sama was watching Charlie the Unicorn.

Charlie reminds me of Gin…

Entry 69

Why is everyone writing in Gin's journal?

Entry 70

What's up with Ulquiorra-sama writing Entry 68 and Nnoitra-san writing Entry 69?

I should because I WAS Gin's assistant.

That's no excuse.

_Shut up, trash._

Is trash your favorite word or something?

…_No…_

…

Who wants some Lays chips?

Entry 71

I'm back everybody~

Mai had ta leave for Tia-chan's a few seconds ago.

Entry 72

Tia-chan wasn't back yet.

Sun-Sun, Mila-Rose, and Apache were shopping with her in the mall place.

Huh…I just remembered we're still in the World o' da Livin.

Entry 73

_This might be my last time writing in Ichimaru-sama's diary…_

Aww, we're gonna miss ya, Mai-chan.

_Keep on smiling, Ichimaru-sama_

I've been smilin' since birth anyways^^

Entry 74

_NOOOO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOO!_

Mai-chan has ta stay with Grimmjow until Tia-chan comes back.

_Ichimaru-sama! Please! Do something! I don't wanna go with him!_

It's fine, yer just sleepin in his room. There are only 3 rooms in this house anyways. Tia gets one, Grimmjow gets one, and I get one^^

_What about Ulquiorra-sama?_

He shares with Grimmjow I think. Either that or he sleeps in the doghouse…

…_So I have to share a room with BOTH of them?_

Ya were fine sharin' with me.

_But you aren't……freaky…… oh wait nevermind, you are._

Hey, ya said ya were fine that I rolled off the bed too much.

_I only said that was fine cause I didn't care cause I slept on the floor anyways…_

This diary entry is getting no where…

Well, I'm sorry, but…

Ja bai bai, Mai^^

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

Entry 75

Grim-jow's makin it up to Mai.

Remember when he scared her in…chapter 4?

Ya, now they're goin' on a date.

Grim-jow says its not a date.

Mai keeps comparin' Blots an' Grin.

Grin grins more^^

Entry 76

*sigh* Gin left again.

Harribel isn't back yet.

Sexta and Cifer are on a date.

I'm so lonely in this house…

Entry 77

I went to this trashy site called FanFiction.

Why do you people pair me up with trashy people?

Entry 78

"H-have I done something to make you mad? I'm so sorry, John!"

"I will forgive you, Sarah… Sarah! Sarah……I love you!"

*smooch*

Trashy things called Soap Operas.

Here is my version.

"Did I do something to make you mad? Well, YOU DESERVED IT!"

"Sarah! I'll forgive you, only because I love you!"

*slap* "STAY AWAY FROM ME, TRASH!"

Entry 79

Wow…

I have to share a room with Mai and the trashy Sexta.

We're all going to die…

**PLZ READ AN REVIEW! WITH IDEAS IS POSSIBLE!**


	8. Ranchan

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 8: Ran-chan

Entry 80

*sigh*

Gin is still gone.

But something worse then that:

Sexta and the Cifer girl came home.

…

While I was watching my soap operas and doing better re-writes.

Entry 81

"Ulquiorra-sama, what are you doing?"

"…uh…"

"So the powerful Ulquiorra Cifer is watching Soap Operas…"

"Shut up and get us some Doritos, Trash."

"Lays are better…"

Entry 82

_Mai again~_

_Ichimaru-sama isn't back yet so I decided to write in his diary._

You do realize it's like 3 in the morning?

What's with all the commotion, Trash?

_Why are you all awake?_

I heard two people writing in Gin's journal so I decided to see what you trash are doing.

_I was writing here cause I wanted to avoid sleeping in your room…_

I was stalking Mai.

_STALKER!_

Trashy stalker…

**Just go to sleep!**

_Harribel-sama!_

**No, just me, Gin^^**

Crap…

_Darnlyit…_

Shiz…

Entry 83

Ichimaru said that Aizen-sama calls the other Espada my brothers because he "created" us.

Who is our mother then?

Entry 84

Aizen-sama called us on Harribel-sama's phone.

He called me his granddaughter…

Who's my parents then?

Entry 85

"Aizen-sama…"

"Yes, my lovely granddaughter?"

"If you're my granddad, then who's my parents?"

"Hm…Harribel will be your mother."

"Who's my father?"

"Grimmijow."

Entry 86

*yawn*

I'm back everybody^^

Entry 87

Ya know, ya readers must be wonerin' 'bout the pictures I take.

I took one of Ran-chan while drunk.

Soi Fon while flippin' and kickin' the fat guy.

Tenth Division Captain-san while he was eatin' watermelons.

And Kira while doin' work.

Tia-chan kept chasin' me to get the pictures back, but I ended up clickin the camera a few times at her.

She even crashed inta' Momo once.

Momo freaked OUT.

Entry 88

I got a cell phone ta'day.

It's blue^^

I called Aizen-taichou^^

Entry 89

"Hello~!"

"Gin?"

"That's mah name^^"

"How have you been doing?"

"Great! Mai-chan had ta' go back and stay with da boys cause Tia-chan left for Hueco Mundo cause she forgot somethin."

"That's…nice…"

"I know!"

"So, I should go now…"

"Ja bai bai, Aizen-taichou^^"

Entry 90

OMG

Ichimaru-sama is talking to the lady he had a picture of!

_Gin is smiling…_

He always smiles. Are ya blind?

He means for real, Grimmijow.

_See? Cifer agrees with me._

Shut up and just get us some Doritos…

I prefer Lays…

Entry 91

We're spying on Ichimaru-sama.

"Ne, Ran-chan, how have ya been doing?"

"Fine, Gin. You know that if anyone sees you then we have to kill you, right?"

"Of course, I know that, Ran-chan. What are ya doing here?"

"Hitsugaya-taichou sent me here to buy some watermelons. I couldn't fine any let though…"

"Ya should stay at our place! Grimmijow, Ulquiorra, Tia Harribel-chan, and Mai-chan are stayin there with me^^"

"Who's Mai?"

"She WAS mah Fraccion/Assistant, but I wasn't sane enough to have one…"

"…Where will I sleep?"

"My room."

"???"

"Mai's stayin with Tia in her room, and the boys are sharing."

"Are those two gay?"

"…I have mah theories."

Entry 92

"Isn't that lady the one Ichimaru-sama keeps a photo of?"

"Hai…Grimmijow, stop drooling."

"… So…are we suppose to be nice to her…? Or treat her like trash cause she's a shinigami?"

"I don't know…"

"I'll give her a bag of Lays as a welcome gift^^

Entry 93

"Um, hiya, I'm Mai Cifer, that's Ulquiorra-sama, and we just wanna give you this bag of Lays as a welcome gift^^"

"Awww! Aren't you a cute little thing! Are you two brother and sisters?"

"No…"

"Relative of some sort…?"

"No…"

"We don't even look alike…"

"Lovers?"

"NO!"

"Anyways…thanks for the bag, but everyone in Soul Society KNOWS that Doritos are better!"

_Later that minute_

"Ulquiorra-sama! Did you hear her?! She like DORITOS better then LAYS!"

"This is war…"

Entry 94

"Grimmijow!"

"Ulquiorra! I didn't do anything to your sister!"

"…My what?"

"…It was a dream, I swear!"

"…I came to inform you that the trashy Shinigami named "Rangiku" likes Doritos better then Lays."

"Looks like everyone here likes Lays better then Doritos…"

"Your point?"

"I like Cheetos better."

"…What a disgrace. Cero."

Entry 94

We're getting sooo close to 100!

_Gin is not back yet. His friend "Ran-chan" went with him to the park._

It's night time, Harribel isn't back yet, so TO OUR ROOM WE GO!

Why can't I sleep in my own room?!

Cause you shouldn't sleep in other people's rooms without permission and no one took their cell phone with them…

_We are all going to die…_


	9. Drunk

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 9: Drunk

Entry 95

So close to 100…

But Ichimaru-sama isn't back yet…

Why do ya care so much about Gin anyways?

…Do you know what would happen if Gin was alone?

Good point…

_Go to sleep, trash. You too, Mai._

Why don't ya call her trash anymore? Finally appreciate her?

_No, it gets annoying when people keep asking, "Why do you call your sister trash?"_

Entry 96

I'M BACK EVERYBODY~!

_Gin…Why are you and some espada in the World of the Living?_

Well, we came here for vacation and Aizen-taichou broke the Garganta…

Entry 97

*Yawn* Ichimaru needs to hide his journal.

I can't find mine so I'm writing in his.

Let's see how Mai is doing since I got back…

Entry 98

Let's see…

There is only one bed in this room… Oh, Ulquiorra sleeps on the huge window seat.

Sexta is asleep.

O.O

Poor, poor Mai…

Grimmijow looks pretty happy though…

Entry 99

"Tia…"

"Ulquiorra…"

"…"

"…"

"What are you doing, sneaking around our room?"

"I felt sorry for Mai…"

"…I would feel the same, but I have no emotions…"

"…"

"You should have seen it when she was awake…"

**ULQUIORRA'S FLASHBACK**

"BED TIME!"

"…Can I have the window seat?"

"That's my bed."

"You suck Ulquiorra-sama…"

"Actually, since I am a vampire, yes I do suck."

"…"

"Bed time, Mai~!"

"He's high on catnip again…"

"NOOOOOoooooo! HELP ME ULQUIORRA-SAMA!"

"…I'm asleep."

"…"

"Niiiiight~"

Entry 100

H_A__p_**p**Y _**100**__**th**__**!!!!!! ENTRY!!!!**_

???

Ran-chan, we're all writin in mah diary^^

I lost mine, so I write in here…

I just get bored and D-Roy broke mine…

My journal is trash.

"WOOOOOO! ITSH THE 100th ENTRY!!! GETTA OVA HERE YA SEXY SEXTA!!!"

O.O

"Who gave Mai da' sake?!"

Entry 101

Mai-chan is drunk. Apparently, she found da sake hidden in a water bottle an' drank it.

Her lil' short self made her drunk easily. AND she's also underage so…ya…

Right now, she's giving glomp tackles to everyone. Mostly Ulquiorra while tryin' ta kiss him.

Grim-jow is jealous…

Entry 102

"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!"

"WOOOOO!"

"…Grimmijow…Mai…you shouldn't "chug" so much sake…"

"Who caressssss?? Get over here, ya sexy Sexta!"

"YEAHHHHH! PARTY WITH SAKE!"

"Gin, you shouldn't drink so much either!"

"…aaaaaaand?"

"Your trashy shinigami friend shouldn't either."

"She doesss ev'ryday!"

Entry 103

*sigh* Mai called over all the Espada plus Aizen-sama and Tousen to play a trashy game called "Truth or Dare"

Either that or spin the bottle…

Entry 104

Mai, in her drunkness, told me that someone doesn't own Bleach, Death Note, no one, except Mai.

Mai must be pretty drunk…

_**Nylorac-chan's Notes**_

Send in truths and dares if ya want

Or spin the bottle ideas XDDD


	10. Truth or Dare

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 10: Truth or Dare

Entry 105

We're all at our "house" playin' truth or dare.

Entry 106

"Since I am the only sane one, I'll go first. Grimmjow, truth or dare?"

"DARE!" *starts pointing at Mai*

*ignores it* "I dare you to randomly go into Kurosaki's home in a pink ballerina tutu thing, and dance. While you're at it, confess your undying love also."

*Grimmjow leaves*

A few minutes later, he returns, with an angry/stunned face and his tutu gone.

"His sister thought I stole her dress thing while their dad thought I was an ex…"

Entry 107

(AN: mah brothers friend will choose the next dare)

"Matsumoto, truth or dare?"

"Dare… Why am I even playing with you guys?"

"Cause yer half drunk, Ran-chan."

"Anyways, I dare you to run around in a chicken suit and call Aizen-sama a dummy, idiot, floating blob of bubble gum, and drink all his tea and dump some in his lap and run away laughing like an idiot. While you're at it, also go tell that Hinamori girl that Aizen hates her and tells her "go die under a rock in some corner, loser."

O.O

*about an hour later*

"…I've been marked as a traitor by Hitsugaya-taichou…"

"Yay, Ran-chan's stayin with us^^"

Entry 108

Aizen is crying that his tea is gone and his lap is "hotter then Yamoto's fire"

"Uh…pink freak, truth or dare?"

"Truth!"

"Why did you make your fraccion edible? I heard you did that from Gin…"

"To eat them. Duh…"

Entry 109

"Ulquiorra, truth or dare."

"Both."

"You can't do that."

"I just did, and I am your superior."

"Fine, uh… why don't you ever smile?"

"I felt emo one day and my face got stuck like this. After a while, I just didn't care…"

"Okay… um… I dare you to smile for a whole day."

"No…"

"Fine, for 10 minutes while rubbing your hands together in the evil way."

"Fine…"

. Com/imgres?imgurl= /fs18/f/2007/146/8/2/Less_Depressing_Ulquiorra_by_&imgrefurl=http://comixqueen.d /&usg=__9taH8lYA3ez_AVKtsYsHaLFRYEQ=&h=300&w=300&sz=9&hl=en&start=165&sig2=QNrWHItkUdxzcftzDlhuiQ&itbs=1&tbnid=sJaUWXEMO2ZvpM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchibi%2Bulquiorra%26start%3D160%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26tbs%3Disch:1&ei=8LnTS9mNGIfutAPgjdzBCQ

(If that appeared, that's the pic of Ulquiorra smiling. Get rid of spaces)

Entry 110

"Mai, truth or dare?"

"OMG ULQUIORRA-SAMA YOU LOOK SO KAWAII SMILIN!"

"…"

"Oh, um… dare I guess."

"I dare you to be Grimmijow's fraccion for a month."

"I hate you, Ulquiorra-sama…"

"YES! I LOVE YOU ULQUIORRA!"

Entry 111

"Sexta, truth or dare."

"hhehehee."

"I will answer for Grimmijow, truth."

"You suck, Ulquiorra."

"…Yes…yes I do, suck."

"…"

"Who do you like, Grimmijow?"

"…well…"

"You are quite clueless, Mai."

"Your point…?"

*sigh*

"I'll answer fer Grim-jow^^"

"Oh God, NO!"

"He likes ya, Mai-chan."

"…"

"He does, haven't ya noticed that he keeps a picture of ya in his journal? He's pretty upset that D-Roy half cero'ed it on accident."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN AN ACCIDENT?! HE WAS EATING DORITOS AND CERO'ED IT WHEN I SAID LAYS WAS BETTER!"

"…"

Entry 112

"Gin, truth or dare?"

"Dare^^"

"…I dare you and your friend to go on a date. Right now, take as long as ya want and never come back."

"Ok~"

Entry 113

"Before I leave, Starrk, truth or dare?"

*yawn* "truth"

"Do ya like Harribel-chan?"

*yawn* "Sure, why not?" *snore*

Entry 114

*yawn* "Tia, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to be experimented on by Szayel for a whole day."

"If you weren't the Primera I would try to kill you…"

Harribel will never be the same again...

Entry 115

O.O

"Ulquiorra, never smile like that again, it scares us all…except Mai."

"…"

"Grimmijow, truth or dare."

"Why me again?"

"…"

"Dare…"

"I dare you to kiss…."

*starts pointing at Mai*

"I dare you to kiss- Oh, my fraccion are texting me. Ouch, looks like Apache fell into the lake again, gotta go."

"DAMN YOU HARRIBEL!"

"Ulquiorra, you finish for Tia."

"Yes, Aizen-sama. Grimmijow, I dare you to kiss…*sigh* the trashy Cifer girl."

"Ulquiorra, why do you call your sister trash?"

"She isn't my sister, Barragan."

"YES! THANK YOU ULQUIORRA I LOVE YOU!"

"Damn you, Ulquiorra-sama…"

"Watch your mouth, trash."

"…"

*Grimmijow kisses Mai*

*five seconds later*

"TOUSEN CALL THE 911 HE MAY BE BLEEDING INTERNALLY!"

"That wasn't very nice, Mai…"

"Be lucky that wasn't you, Ulquiorra…"

*Sigh* we're so loveable…

_**Nylorac-chan's Notes**_

I wanted to start even though there was only one review for a dare…

Mai: Thank you, C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only ~ ^^


	11. Aizen's Will

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 11: Aizen's Will

Entry 116

Well, Ran-chan had ta go back ta da Soul Society.

Grimmijow's in da intensive care unit place.

Mai is takin' care of Blots for him. (Blots ish his plush toy cat thing.)

And Ulquiorra has the new responsibility of having Mai as a fraccion since Harribel-chan is gone ta some place called Victoria Secret and Grimmijow is…well…ya…

Entry 117

We're gonin' back ta Hueco Mundo now.

FINALY!

But we get a meetin' when we get back…

Entry 118

"Move your foot, Ulquiorra."

"I can't, Tia, Grimmijow's coffin is in the way."

"Ulquiorra-sama, why is he in there?"

"To make sure he doesn't die the way back to Las Noches."

"Uh oh…"

"What did you do, Gin?"

"…Grin busted the Garganta…"

Entry 119

It's been half a day, now we're not in da Garganta anymore…

Yammy made the place smell like trash.

Really.

Entry 120

The meetin' is 'bout ta start.

Things are just gonna go downhill from here…

Cause I'm on a giant sand hill and about to roll down!

Entry 121

"Please listen to me while you enjoy you tea."

"Don't we always do this?"

"Anyways… I know this will not happen for a longlonglonglonglonglonglonglonglonglong time, but I will some day die."

"YOU CAN'T, AIZEN-TAICHOU!!!"

"Gin…"

"Yes^^?"

"Not now."

"Ohhhhh"

"Anyways, I will share with you Espadas, my will."

Entry 122

Aizen-taichou gave us a copy of the will.

Letsee here….

_**King of Everyone and Everything and More, Sosuke Aizen's Will**_

_I will start with the Decima, Yammy Riyalgo. Dear Yammy, as the big…huge…ugly*coughcough* Where was I? Oh yes, when I die, I will let you have our walk in fridge that is bigger then necessary. I hope you take care of it well and keep it clean and filled with food._

This was Yammy's comment. "I do, Aizen-sama!"

_Next is Aaroniero Arruruerie. My freakish two headed one er…two…If I die…I will let you have…uh… my old stuffed animal octopus…Tentacles is his name. Take care of him well… I mean it._

"We are **honored, Aizen-**sama."

_Szayel Apporo Grantz. The smartest Espada in my army. I will give you everything I stole from Mayuri. I even have his spyware. He keeps one in his daughter's room ;)_

"Thank you, Aizen-sama! You are the greatest!" Apporo even started turnin' red…

_Zommari Leroux, I give you my…yoga mat I have never used, my yogurt that I got from the World of the Living, and some candy chocolate eyeballs. I even stole some jack-o-lanterns for you. You should be greatful._

"…Thank you…Aizen-sama…!"

_Next we move on to the actual Espadas with SOME interesting power. Grimmijow Jagerjeaques, I will give you my stuffed Persian cat, Fuffers. If Ulquiorra Cifer lets you, I will also give you Mai's hand in marriage._

At that part, Grimmijow started grinnin' like Grin and Ulquiorra started banging his head lightly on the table…

_But remember, Sexta, you may put the sex in sexta (yes I hear you sing it), but remember that being over-confident can get you…well…you'll see…_

"I think he has seen when he had to be stuck in a coffin for a few hours… By the way, never try to kiss Mai again…"

"I didn't try to. I did! OW! My face moved too much…"

_Next, we move on to Nnoitra Jiruga . You are very…powerful…power-hungry…sexist…(I threw that in for you, Tia) and I would like to thank you for a good job. I give you a bouquet of flowers (chosen by Tia) and all the spoons in Hueco Mundo._

"Does that mean the flowers are gonna blow up in my face?"

"No…"

"Sure, Tia. Yer just AFRAID of a TRUE MAN!"

"…because the flowers are designed to suffocate you and drag you to the farthest corner of Hueco Mundo while I steal your spoon collection…"

"You are EVIL, Tia Harribel!"

_Ah, moving on to my most loyal Espada, Cuarto Espada, Ulquiorra Cifer. I give you rule of Las Noches and Hueco Munco, also giving you much power, but share it with Gin and Tousen. I also will let Tia be your queen._

"Aizen-sama! But didn't you say we were all brother and sister?!"

"No, Tia, that changes when I die. It's Ulquiorra's descion then."

_Anyways, take good care of my palace and your sister; she will be a fine queen if you don't want to marry._

"…"

"I thought I could marry her…"

"Shut it, Sexta."

_Tia Harribel, the most beautiful Espada. I will let you be the Queen of Hueco Mundo. (Just work things out with Ulquiorra first…) I give you my credit card AND don't forget, a flower. It represents that you are a flower among ugly bees._

"That sounds like something Charlotte would say… But Aizen! I have already made Tia my queen!"

"Shut up, Barragan! You did not! You asked, but I refused!"

"Why?!"

"…Look in the mirror and you'll see why…"

"That was rude, Tia…"

"Told ya she was evil…"

_Moving from Tercera to Segunda, Baragan Luisenbard. What a strange last name. If you outlive Ulquiorra, Mai, and Tia...and Starrk…AND Grimmijow… then you can be King of Hueco Mundo. I will give you my Zanpaktou as a scepter since you hate me so much._

That was when Aizen-taichou gave a strong blast of reiatsu for the Segunda.

_You are the old wise one I guess, please choose a decent queen._

"Tia is far better then decent…"

"BUT I AM NOT YOUR QUEEN!"

_Starrk Coyote and Lylinette Ginderback. I give you Starrk, my bedroom (very cushion-y and comfortable) and Lylinette, my back scratcher and a book called How to Kill with Pokes in 1,234,567,890 Ways. _

"Lylinette would say WOO HOO! If she were here. And I thank you, Aizen-zzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

O.O

…

_Tousen, I give you my police stuff. You can be the Justice Officer of Hueco Mundo. Please do not whip my Espadas so much._

"T-thank you, Aizen… You have made my dream come true!"

_Ichimaru Gin…_

^^ "That's meeee!"

_I will let you be King of Hueco Mundo…after Grimmijow._

"SO I HAVE TO OUT LIVE _HIM_ TOO?!"

"Ya, Segunda^^"

_I will let you marry Matsumoto Rangiku and live happily here in Hueco Mundo…*sigh* I'll let you have a pet fox too…_

"YESSSSSS!"

_And to the Fraccion and all the other bits and pieces, I give you my will to live and rule. Because I would rather not have all the weak become suicidal when I die._

_That is the end of my will. I will rest in vain and forever haunt you all. And when I come back from my life as a human, I will rule once again!_

_(Yes Barragan that means if at that point you outlived all the others and are ruling, then I get to rule.)_

Entry 123

We were all eatin' dinner and talkin' 'bout the will… Oh ya, Mai, Apache, Tesla, Shawlong, and Charlotte were the guests of this Espada dinner.

"Dear Harribel-sama, you ARE the beautiful flower of these men, sometimes I envy you!"

"Oh dear God, save me…" was what she muttered.

"Aizen-sama gave me WHAT?!" Mai-chan freaked OUT!

"I-I have the will to live and rule!!!" Tesla made a t-shirt that said that… it has rhinestones on it!

"Ulquiorra gets to rule?! But Harribel-sama has a higher rank!"

"Pfft, I'm the oldest of the two digit arrancars…" said Shawlong.

"Shawlong, don't be so down! Didn't you hear? I get to be king…eventually!"

"Mai Cifer, what is wrong with you?"

"I'm fine, Ulquiorra-sama…except the fact that YOU have to be my Espada..."

"Don't talk to you brother like that!"

"Apporo-sama, he's NOT MY BROTHER!"

"Oh, look, let's all shut up!"

"YOU SHUT UP, APACHE!"

"DON'T TALK TO ME THAT WAY! I AM TERECERA ESPADA TIA HARRIBEL'S FRACCION!"

"WELL I AM THE FRACCION OF THE NEXT KING OF HUECO MUNDO!"

"SHUT UP!"

"MAKE ME!"

"CHUG THIS, CIFER!"

"Which Cifer?"

"YOUR SISTER, ULQUIORRA-SAMA!"

"SHE'S NOT MY SISTER!"

Then Apache forced a bottle of sake down Mai's throat…after that Harribel, Ulquiorra, Grimmijow, Lazy Starrk, and Tesla had to drag her away…

Ain't we so loveable???

**Well that was a nice chapter, dinner went well, REVIEW PLEASE!!!! Aizen's Will was a very long entry…**


	12. Death

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 12: Death

Entry 124

This is Ulquiorra Cifer.

Mai Cifer (SHE IS NOT MY SISTER, I'LL CERO OFF YOUR FACE IF ANYONE SAYS SO…unless you are Aizen-sama…), is VERY hung over from Apache making her chug the sake.

In her drunkenness, Mai told me to write that someone does not own anything except Mai Cifer… Mai was very drunk…

Also, in her drunkess, Mai went through Tia's things many times, kissed Grimmijow every few minutes, and hug me calling me her "onii-sama" every few seconds…

She was very, very, very drunk…

Entry 125

Gin didn't care if we Espadas wrote in here.

So I am.

I guess I will tell you how I died.

You see, I was a college student in the trashy Living World.

I don't know how I remember how I died…

Anyways, I died of poisoning of some sort while I was dissecting a human corpse.

I was trying to become a doctor…

And I died while I was trying to find his "heart"

I never found it…

Entry 126

Wow.

Ulquiorra doesn't believe in hearts.

I see why now.

This is Yammy, and I guess I'll tell you how I died…

I ate too much.

And became a HUGE OVERWEIGHT person.

I died when I was trying to get out of bed to go to the bathroom…

Entry 127

**What a pathetic way to die**.

This is **how we died.**

We were an octopus…

**And a shark killed us.**

I told you we should have tried to strangle it.

**I was tired, you know that…**

Entry 128

Szayel Apporo Granz , which is me, is here to tell you how I died since everyone seems to be doing so…

I died in a lab accident.

You see, someone told me a certain chemical and ham sandwiches didn't mix. But I didn't get the memo.

I lived of course.

But I died in the hospital…

Cause I mixed a chemical with my blood on accident.

And because I was trying to impress the nurse…

Entry 129

Ommmmmmmm. Wait, this is not my journal…

I am Zammori.

I died when I was doing yoga and stretched so far that I broke a bone.

I tried untangling myself to call 911, but then the tea that was on fire fell over.

…Ka-boom…

Entry 130

I finally can use my hands again!

Yo, this is Grimmijow here!

Mai KISSED ME!!! IT WAS A WONDERFUL DAY!

Anyways…oh yeah, how I died…

I was bitten by a wolf and a rabid dog…

I hate dogs…

Entry 131

I HATE THAT GUY!

Ya' see I was a teenager when I died…

I was fightin' with this kid and we were at lunch…

He used a fork and I used a spoon.

HE STABBED ME IN THE FREAKIN EYE!

Then it happened to be a REALLY, REALLY pointy fork…

You can guess what happened…

Entry 132

*sigh* I guess I'll write how I died also…

…When I died, I was run over by a car.

You see, I knew Starrk and Lylinette when I was alive…

Lylinette was in the car, driving, and wanted to see if Starrk was really that lazy…

Starrk saw the car coming of course…

He's too freakin lazy so I jumped out in front of him and got hit…

Then the car flipped over me and landed on Starrk, killing him also…

Then the car exploded and Lylinette died, too…

She was practicing for her license…

Poor Lylinette never got it…she never turned 16 for her Human life either…

Entry 133

King Luisenbard is here! (Baragan)

You see now, I was a prince when I died! 

I was warring with another country when I was knocked off my horse and could not get back on again!

Father had proclaimed me KING if I won that war!

…I died…

……I still want to be King though……

Entry 134

*yawn*

I was hit by a car *snore*

Lylinette here!

Tia-sama already told ya.

I NEVER LIVED TO SEE MY 16th BIRTHDAY!

It was cruel…

No it wasn't…you tried to kill me…

Only cause ya never gave me $20 for beating ya in Goldfish…

(AN: If you saw the latest Bleach ending (number 23), at one point it showed Starrk and Lylinette playing a card game and Lylinette looked like she won…)

Entry 135

"I LOVE YOU, ONII-SAMA!"

Me: …

*kiss* "I luuuuv you, ya sexy sexta!"

Grimmijow: ^^ :D

"Mai, what are you doing?"

"Honestlylyly, Tia-sama! You didn't take me when ya went ta Victoria's Secret!!!! YER SO CRUELLLL!"

"…You don't have a reason to go…"

"Tiiiaaaaa-sama! You didn't get the right kind…"

"Of what…?"

"The right kind of-"

"Please shut up and get out of my headquarters."

"Okay~"

Entry 136

You know how I said I would cero off anyone's face if they called Mai my sister?

…I need to cero off Mai's face…

But Grimmijow would try to kill me for sure…

And the fact that it's been 15 hours since she started calling me her brother and now I feel like I am planning to cero my "sister's" face off.

AND the part where even the new arrancars are saying that Mai looks more like Grimmijow's sister.

I need to cero THEIR faces off since they also say we're one big "happy family".

Grimmijow doesn't care…


	13. Socks

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 13: Socks

Entry 137

Ima back everybody~

When I came back ta mah headquarters… I found socks…

THEY WERE FREAKIN EVERYWHERE!!!

When I asked Ulquiorra about it, he said Tousen did it.

When I asked Tousen…

He said socks were justice…

Entry 138

O.O

Ta-day some fangirl stole Grimmijow's socks…

…while he was wearin' 'em…

I don't know HOW the heck she got them off when his shoes were on…

Maybe he had an eject hole in his boot somewhere…

Entry 139

"Mah names Socky!"

"Mah names Stinky!"

"My name is blacky."

"…Ulquiorra what are you doing here?"

"I got bored of doing laundry."

"…Where's the other sock?"

"It was trash."

"That was mean of ya…"

"It had a hole in it…"

"Ya coulda used duck tape…"

"Yammy kept using it for his spaghetti…"

Entry 140

Aizen-taichou ish havin a sock race.

Its where we chuck our socks as far as we can!

Here are the contestants.

Meh: Stinky

Tia: Google Eyes (cause its got google eyes!)

Ulquiorra: Blacky

Zammori: Clocky

Lylinette: Death-By-Pokes-By-The-POKER!

Starrk: Dead-Cause-The-POKER!-Poked-Me

Nnoitra: Drunk (he was drunk at the time…)

Szayel: Pinky (it's a pink sock!)

Tousen: Justice (the sock says it in different SHINY colors^^)

Barragan: Barney-The-Freakin-Freaky-Purple-Slash-Green-Dinosaur-Thing-Plus-MORE!-plus-dun-dun-duuuun

Grimmijow: Blue-The-Blue-Sock

Aaroniero: Staples

Yammy: Hungry

Mai: Scary-Fluffy^^

Aizne-taichou (even though he's not in da race thing): Mr. Wiggle-Sox

Entry 141

"READY?!"

"HAI, AIZEN!"

"SET!!!"

*picks up socks*

"CHUCK!"

*chucks socks far into Hueco Mundo*

*a few hours later*

…

*a few days later*

"Whew, so far we passed Aaroniero's, Grimmijow's, and Nnoitra."

*a few weeks later*

"WE HAVE A WINNER!"

"WHO?!"

"A tie between Ulquiorra, Gin, Tia, and Mai."

"So we're goin' again?"

"No."

"Whats the prize?"

"STICKERS!"

"Yaayyy! Yer so nice, Aizen-taichou^^"

"…I call the vampire one…"

"I'll have the glittery goldfish…"

"I guess I'll have the owl one…"

"That leaves the unicorn under the rainbow to Gin."

"YESSSSS! I WANTED THAT ONE!"

"…Seriously, Gin?"

"Yaaayyyyy^^"


	14. Boss Contest

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Might be some spoilers. Remember that is always a possibility.

Chapter 14: Boss Contest

Entry 142

*click*

*FLASH*

*repeats a buncha times*

Entry 143

*yawn* Ichimaru-sama is gone again…

And for some reason I'm really tired…

*snore*

Mai? *poke* Mai? Huh, what's this? *reads* Sleeping drug. Do not use more then 3 tablets…

_The bottle is empty…_

I see that, Ulquiorra.

_You don't get it?_

Get what?

Entry 144

I'm back!

Huh, someone drugged Mai…

And I took pictures of people in dere sleep.

Entry 145

"Please listen to Gin while you enjoy your tea."

"Where are you going, Aizen-sama?"

"Toliet."

"Anyways. Ima handin these out ta all o ya^^"

Entry 145

Gin is hiding in Ulquiorra's closet right now.

So I'm writing in his diary since no one is around.

HE TOOK PICTURES OF US IN OUR SLEEP.

Yammy was drooling…and scratching his ss

Aaroniero was burping bubbles…

Szayel for some reason wears those pink night GOWNS.

Zomarri was UPSIDE DOWM.

AND I WAS GRINNING LIKE A FREAKIN IDIOT, HUGGING BLOTS, AND THE PICTURE OF MAI WAS RIGHT THERE ON MY NIGHT STAND! I'M NEVER GOING TO LIVE THIS DOWN!

Nnoitra had a bunch of spoons in his mouth…and for some reason, his pajamas had different colored spoons on them…

Ulquiorra was sleeping… just sleeping… oh, with his own stuffed animal, Dracula, of course. It's a bat. A purple-ish black one.

When everyone saw Harribel's, we all got nosebleeds, I mean even Ulquiorra turned red. Harribel freaked out and instead of slapping Gin, she cero'd him in the face…with her zanpaktou…

Barragan was on a breathing machine in his sleep…

And Starrk was asleep…with Lilynette…

Entry 146

"Please listen to me as you enjoy your tea."

"Hai, Aizen-sama…"

"I am holding a contest. The winner gets to have control of anyone, except me, for an entire week. You must write an essay/paper thing, stating what you would do and a good reason why I should let you. Espadas, DISMISSED!"

So now, since ima the "teacher" of Las Noches, Ima helping ev'ryone with dere speeches…

Entry 147

"Arrancar Encyclopedia!"

"Gin, we're not filming…"

"I know, but that's the name of my class^^"

"Alright…"

"Ta'day, we're gonna have suggestions ta a good reason why ya should win the contest. Please write it down on a notecard and send it inta me."

Entry 148

Dis contest is called "Boss Contest"

Dis is what I got so far…

Starrk: I am the Primera Espada. That should be a good enough reason.

Lilynette (she get ta join too): IM PART OF STARRK! And Im a _FEMALE_ PRIMERA ESPADA!

Barragan: I am his royal highness, KING BARRAGAN LUISBARD! I already HAVE command over everyone! _Except Harribel-sama. _POW HOW THE HECK ARE YOU IN THE ESPADA CLASSROOM?!

Tia Harribel-chan: I think I should win because, well, I would not brutally humiliate someone. (Because I would humiliate them without being brutal, I will be cruel.)

Ulquiorra: I do not want to win. Actually, since I HAVE to, my reason will be because that I am your most loyal Espada, Ulquiorra Cifer. I was able to abduct that woman and go through with it (she is very difficult, I mean seriously? A heart?)

Nnoitra: I should win CUZ I AM THE MOST POWERFUL MALE ESPADA!!!

Grimmjow: I should really win because I never get anything good here in Las Noches. The only time I got something good was when Mai came along, but nooooo Ulquiorra made her think I was stupid and she only likes me in her drunkness.

Zommari: I am the fastest Espada. 'Nuff said.

Szayel A.G.: I can create something to do whatever you want if I win, Aizen-sama.

Aaron: I shall honor you, Aizen-sama, I am the most powerful Gillian.

Niero: So should I, WE ARE THE MOST POWERFUL GILLIAN AND WILL ANNOY THE HELL OUTTA YA IF WE DON'T WIN!!!

Yammy: I'll eat you if I don't win. *there were grease stains and blobs of sugar stuck to his paper…*

Entry 149

What We would Do if We Won the Boss Contest:

Yammy: I would make Starrk serve me food and do stuff.

Aaroniero: We would force Szayel to be our slave, along with Barragan and Yammy.

Apporo: I will force EVERYONE (especial Starrk and Grimmjow) to be my slave!

Zomarri: I will force everyone to practice yoga and appreciate it.

Grimmjow: I'll make Ulquiorra my slave and Mai my……ya know^^

Nnoitra: IM GONNA FORCE EVERYONE TO FIGHT MEEEEE

Tia Harribel: I will dip Nnoitra in a boiling pot of cheese. Make Grimmjow and Ulquiorra get along, and let Mai join me in laughing at their faces.

Barragan: Make Tia my queen and everyone my slave! :)

Starrk and Lilynette: I would make everyone not bother me while I slept. _I would annoy the hell outta all of them!!!_

Entry 150

WOO HOO! HALF WAY TA 200!!!

Mai-chan and I am gonna go to da World o' da Livin' for ice cream!

_But Aizen-sama ordered that Ulquiorra-sama and Grimmjow some with us._

**YES!**

Again, we're al going to die…

_We're already dead, Onii-I mean Ulquiorra-sama…_

Those people are lettin' us use dere time share house again^^

We're still all going to die…

_Lighten up, Onii-sama^^_

_O.O Oh shi-_

Hard to, "imouto-chan".

_Holy shiz, he called me imout-chan!_

**NOW we're all gonna die…**


	15. Happy Family

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 15: Happy Family

Entry 151

Mai: "ICHIMARU-SAMA! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Gin: "IT WASN'T ME!!!"

Ulquiorra: "Then who was it?"

Gin: "Uh…GRIN SAYS BLOTS DID IT!!!"

Grimmjow: "BLOTS SAYS THAT ULQUIORRA DID IT!"

Ulquiorra: Ulquiorra says that Gin did it.

Mai: Mai thinks Onii-sama is right.

Everyone else: O.O _Onii-sama?_

Entry 152

We're stuck in da Garganta!

Again.

**Ulquiorra, you're such a downer!**

_Onii-sama and I are nothing alike._

Ya aren't even related!

Your point?

**LETS PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE!**

We don't got a bottle…

**SPIN THE…PANTERA!**

We really are going to die…

_BUT I'M THE ONLY GIRL!_

Don't touch my sister.

**SHE'S NOT YOUR SISTER!**

But are ya lovers?

_NO!_

Entry 153

"FINALLY we're out. Ok, Ichimaru-sama?"

"Here!"

"Sexta-san?"

"Yo."

"Onii-sama…"

"…"

"Oh ya… I mean, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"Present."

Entry 154

"Ichimaru-sama, ever since I got knocked out with those sleeping pills, I feel…weird."

"I'm not yer mother, Mai-chan."

"What do you-KAMI, THAT'S PERVERTED, ICHIMARU-SAMA." (AN: If you don't know what their talking about, tell me in a review.)

"So how have you not been feeling well?"

"I have a sick feeling in my stomach and my voice sounds…I don't know, more high pitched?"

"You sound cute though!"

"Not helping, Grimmy-san."

"WTF?!"

"Ohhhhhh, I feel sick again…Onii….-sama………"

"Ulquiorra, ya might got ta carry her…"

"Why me?"

"Cause she was callin for ya."

"You make that sound…weird…"

Entry 155

In our time share place, we're usin' one bedroom as storage. One for Grim-jow and I, and the other for the Cifers.

Ya got no idea how much Grim-jow rants bout it.

Dinner time:

"How's Mai?"

"She seems to be getting thinner…"

"That's mean, Ulquiorra."

"No, as in…smaller?"

"This diary entry is gettin' no where."

"What?"

"Nottin"

Entry 156

"Gin…"

"Yeess, Grim-jow?"

"What's wrong with Mai?"

"I dunno."

"Who do you like best of all the Espada? Privarons too."

"Luppi-kun."

"DO YOU WANT A CERO TO THE FACE?!"

"After feelin' Harribel-chan's cero, yer's can't be that bad."

"Damn that Harribel…"

IN HUECO MUNDO

*achoo*

"Cold, Tia?"

"No."

"I'm sending you to the World of the Living."

"Hai…" _I am going to die…but my fanboys will be upset…oh well_

Entry 157

Ta'day, Grim-jow and I are gonna go and bye ice cream^^

Ulquiorra and Mai are gonna go and "receive a surprise" is what Aizen told them…

Off we go!

Entry 158

That surprise was Harribel. I made her carry Mai.

That was mean o' ya, Ulquiorra…

_She's not that heavy…_

**I would've carried her…**

What's that noise?

_A child crying?_

**A bulldozer?**

How would it be a bulldozer? It sounds like a lil kid cryin'.

_Ulquiorra, you go check._

Why can't you go, Tia?

_I'm a higher rank and can boss you around._

Crap…


	16. Baby

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 16: Baby

Entry 159

Mornin' diary^^

Grim-jow and Ulqui' are sharin' a room again.

Mai-chan and Tia-chan are sharin'.

And Ima sharin' with Grin.

He's a major bed hog…

Entry 160

"Mornin', Ulqui."

"…"

"Mornin', Grim-jow."

"Yo…"

"Mornin…hey, where's Tia-chan?"

"I dunno, just woke up."

"Ulqui?"

"Sounds like she is taking care of the baby."

"Oh…"

*realization crashes onta em' like a ton o bricks*

"BABY?!"

"Since when did Tia-chan get pregnant?"

Entry 161

"Tia-chan, since when did you get pregnant?!"

"I'M NOT FREAKIN' PREGNANT!"

"Sure looks like a baby…"

"Shut it, Grimmijow. I never gained any weight."

"You sure?"

"That is just rude, Uquiorra…"

Entry 162

We're all in da doorway o' Mai-chan and Tia-chan's room.

Ulquiorra: …

Grimmjow: …O.O

Me: …OMG SHE'S SO KAWAII!

Entry 163

Tia-chan is gone ta get some stuff for da baby.

So she had Ulquiorra take care of 'er.

**GIN'S FLASHBACK**

"Ulquiorra, you take care of the baby."

"Why me?"

"I'm a higher rank and-"

"Can boss me around… but why ME again?"

"I want to see how long it takes you to crack. Grimmijow is getting boring."

"You really ARE evil, Tia…"

Entry 164

Shh, Ima watchin' Ulqui take care of the baby.

"I is BORED!"

"Tia has not returned yet."

"…I IS BORED!"

"*sigh* what do you want me to do?"

"Play with me^^"

"No."

"MEANIE!"

Entry 165

Ulqui is goin' mad cuz of da baby.

Grimmijow wants ta take care of it.

Not really, but she's so kawaii!

Entry 166

"ULQUI-SAMA!"

"What is it?"

"ULQUI-SAMA!"

"WHAT is it?"

"ULQUI-SAMA!!!"

"I can HEAR you."

"ULQUI-SAMA!!!"

"WHAT?!"

"ULQUI-SAMA!!!!!!"

"WHAT IS IT YOU LITTLE BRAT?!"

"Hiya^^"

Entry 167

"Ulqui-sama…"

"WHAT?!"

"Ah! You don't gotta be so scawy, Ulqui-sama…"

Entry 168

"Ulquiorra, I'm back with the stuff."

"THANK KAMI! TIA, YOU'RE BACK!!!"

"Holy fudge, you're thankful to see me."

"NO! THAT LITTLE CHILD IS DRIVING ME MAD!"

"You look funny with facial expression…"

"…"

Entry 169

"Dear Kami, that kid is a handful."

"Can't she talk, Tia-chan?"

"YES!"

"Ulquiorra, you really are going mad…"

"Who is that baby anyways and where did you get her?"

Entry 170

…Tia-chan just told us that da baby is MAI-CHAN! 

Can't freakin' believe it…BUT HOW?!

_Last night, Mai told me that she didn't feel good._

She told me that, too…

_Right before she went to bed last night Mai said that she thought that those sleeping drug was really something else from Appro's lab. At the time she seemed shorter…_

She IS short.

_He meant shorter then usual._

How would you know? 

"ULQUI-SAMA!"

_Why doesn't she call you her brother?_

_Be glad she doesn't…_

"ULQUI-NII!"

_Crap…_

Entry 171

"Who're you?"

"I'm Ichimaru Gin^^"

"Hm…you wook like a fox fweak. And who're you?"

"Yo, I'm Grimmijow Jeagerjacues."

"Hm…I'll call you…Grim."

"Like the grim reaper? HAHAHA!"

"No…like a blue grimmy kitty!"

"At least she likes me better, fox "fweak"

"No, I wike Ulqui-sama much better."

"DAMN IT!"

"BAD WORD, GRIMMY!"

"YA! BAD KITTY!"

"Shut it, Gin…"

"BE NICE, GRIMMY!"

Entry 172

Haha, let's watch Grim-jow take care of Mai-chan.

(Ulquiorra went to get away from her)

"Okay, Mai, if you give me a kiss, then I'll give you some candy."

"Ohhhh, I like candy!"

"So do I! Ya gotta give me a kiss though." He's holdin' a piece of chocolate high above her head…

"Ulqui-sama told me not to wisten to you if you tell me ta' give you a kiss!"

"But do you want to have candy?"

"Ulqui-sama gave be a bag of jolly wanchers…"

"DAMN HIM!"

"BAD WORD, GRIMMY!"


	17. Baby Part 2

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 17: Baby Pt. 2

Entry 173

Haha, I woke up early in da mornin' and found Mai-chan awake.

So I got her to entertain me.

Entry 174

"They're takin' care o' ya again ta'day, Mai-chan."

"Okay, Fox Fweak."

Mai-chan started crawlin' toward Tia-chan's room…

Entry 175

"Tia…"

"*yawn* uhhh….."

"Tia…"

"Huh…oh...good morning, Mai…"

"Morning, Tia…"

"What do you need, Mai?"

"Nottin' really…"

"Okay……can I go back to sleep?"

"Sure, Tia-chan…"

*5 seconds later*

"**G**OOD NIGHT, TIA-CHAN. EVEN THOUGH IT'S MORNING, SLEEP GOODY NIGHT NIGHT, TIA-CHAN!"

_Tia-chan's thoughts: That kid really does know how to get on one's nerves…_

Entry 176

She's walkin' slightly ta Grim-jow and Ulquiorra's room.

"Grimmy…"

"Uh…five more minutes…I'm TIRED!"

"Grimmy…"

"I'm TIRED!"

"GRIMMY KITTY!"

"I'M SLEEPING YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

"BAD GRIMMY KITTY!" *whacks him with his pillow*

Entry 177

"Ulqui-sama…"

"What is it, Mai?"

"I hungry…"

"*sigh* Should I prepare you some food?"

"Ya…"

"Get Gin to."

"No."

"…"

"Ulqui-sama…"

"Yes…?"

"Why are you cwying?"

"I am not crying."

"Ya you are…yer tears are green…"

"Mai, please just…shut up…"

"BAD ULQUI!" *whacks him with his pillow*

"That does not hurt at all, Mai."

"I'LL MAKE IT HURT!"

"Sure, I believe you." (He's being sarcastic)

Entry 178

"Wahhh! Tia-chan!"

"Aww, what's wrong, Mai?"

"Ulqui-sama is being mean…"

"Then don't call him "Ulqui-sama."

"What should I call him then?"

"Trashy Ulqui."

"Oh, and Tia-chan…"

"Yes, Mai?"

"Trashy Ulqui said that you were ugly, fat, and stupid. He said a bad word…"

"WHAT?"

"Trashy Ulqui also said that I was yer kid… By da way…who's Starrk?"

In Mai's head: _Hahaha! My memory still helps me!_

Entry 179

I almost feel sorry for Ulquiorra…

Entry 180

"ULQUIORRA CIFER YOU GET OVER HERE YOU TRASHY IDIOT!"

"GO TIA-CHAN!"

"What did I do?"

"Here's yer pillow, Tia-chan."

"YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR TALKING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY FREAKIN BACK!"

"AHHH! CRAP! TIA WHAT THE FUDGE?"

"DAMN YOU UQUIORRA CIFER!"

"AHHHH!"

Entry 181

Mai: "Hahaha! Tia-chan won!"

Ulquiorra: "Owww…."

Grimmijow: "THANK YOU, HARRIBEL!" 

Gin: "Yer enjoying this, Grim-jow."

Grimmijow: "WOO-HOO!"

Tia: "That was a good morning workout."

Entry 181

"Trashy Ulqui, Ima hungry…"

"…Does it look like I can move?"

"Told ya that I made a pillow hurt^^"

"Tia made it hurt for no reason, not you."

"No, I made Tia do it for me^^"

"Damn you, trashy brat."

"BAD TRASHY ULQUI!" *whacks him with some hard inside her sleeve*

Entry 182

"Grimmy…"

"Yes, Mai?" Thoughts: _Better not get on the kid's bad side…_

"…Ima bored…"

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Play with me."

Grimmijow's thoughts: _basically perverted thoughts_

"If you give me a kiss I will."

"……Okay, Grimmy."

His thoughts: _YES! Aww, her little hands are so soft on my face. ^^ (yes he's blushing lol)_

"Cewo."

"Huh? What the- OW!"

Entry 183

"Fox Fweak!"

"Ya, Mai-chan?"

"I'm still hungry."

"Get Tia-chan ta' help ya."

"I wanna go home!"

"We ARE home, Mai-chan." ^^

"No! I want to go home home! I wanna see my daddy."

"Mai-chan, you don't got a daddy."

"Wahh! B-but Ulqui-sama has a daddy, and TIA-CHAN has a daddy, and even GRIMMY has a daddy!"

"Wha? Who?"

"I heard you talking on da phone with "Aizen-sama" and he said dat Grimmy, Ulqui-sama, and Tia-chan were his "childwen."

"Then what makes ya think that ya got parents?"

"After Tia-chan beat up Ulqui, Grimmy was talking ta himself. He said dat it'd be funny if I waz Tia-chan's and "Starrk-san's" kid…"

"Hehehehe…"

"I…WANNA…GO…**HOME!"**

Entry 184

So we're goin' back ta' Hueco Mundo.

I made Ulquiorra hold the ice cream.

And I was gonna get Grim-jow ta' hold Mai-chan, but she kept tryin' ta cero him, so Tia-chan had ta take over.

"OW! MAI! THAT HURT!"

"It's a wonder how you are the Sexta when a cero from a child hurts you…"

"Stop fighting."

"Good point, Tia. My hands are getting cold from holding the ice cream."

"Cewo."

"Hm…I guess it hurts a bit…"

"Shut it, Ulquiorra."

"BAD GRIMMY KITTY!"

Entry 185

"Aizen-taicou, Mai-chan turned inta a baby when we were in da World o' da Livin'…"

"Hm…looks like little Mai… How are you little one?"

"Ima fine…butta do YOU know who my daddy is?"

"Hm…you are like a grandchild to me… Who do you think your daddy is?"

"Grimmy was talkin' about Tia-chan being my mommy and someone called "Starrk". That sounds like a cow. Is Starrk a hollow cow?"

"…A very lazy one I guess. He's more like a sloth though…"

"…No, it sounds more like a cow."

Entry 186

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWYZ

"Look, Fox Fweak- Hey, who're you?"

"I am Kaname Tousen."

"Can I call you Two-san?"

"Sounds like Justice. Alright, who are you?"

"Mai, anyways, wook! I drew the letters in Fox Fweaks book!"

"You forgot X…"

"X is scawy…"

"I agree, X is not justice."

Entry 187

*sigh*

Mai-chan's a lotta work.

But she wanders around Hueco Mundo with different people.

Right now she's with Ulquiorra and Grim-jow

Entry 188

"You take care of her tonight."

"Why me? She keeps cero-ing me!"

"She annoys me. Also, I am a higher rank and-"

"Can boss me around. You got it from Harribel."

"You never let me have anything…"

Entry 189

Aizen-taichou is makin' Grim-jow take care o' baby Mai-chan.

They're actually gettin' along.

I guess they ARE both blue haired…


	18. Cant think up a name fer dis chapterXD

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 18:

Entry 190

*yawn* Mornin' diary-kun…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ahh, so peaceful…

Entry 191

"What's all the racket, Grimmijow? I can hear you all the way from my Primera Headquarters…"

"Yes, I can hear you from my lab."

"YOU PERVERTED STUPID CAT! DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

"Hey! Mai's back!"

Entry 192

"What did you do, Grimmijow?"

"Shut up, Ulquiorra…"

"…I still want to know what you did."

"…I kissed her, but she woke up…"

"…Why, Grimmijow? You know what would usually happen, but you never learn…"

"Doesn't really matter…when she was a kid I did it every night…"

"YOU DID WHAT? I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, JAGERJEACUES!"

*5 minutes later*

"Don't laugh, Ulquiorra! Help me get out of the freakin' stupid fish pond! She glued my feet to the bottom!"

"Since when did we have a fish pond?"

"…JUST HELP ME GET OUT!"

"Say please."

"NO!"

"And I wasn't laughing…"

Entry 193

Shh, I'm spyin' on the new Arrancar Women's Association.

"You're so lucky, Mai-chan!"

"How, Mila-Rose?"

MilaRose: "An Espada likes you! I've tried a bunch of times to get Starrk-sama to notice me, but he's sleeping all the time…"

Apache: "Hai! And I think Ulquiorra-sama has a thing for you~!"

Mai: "WHAT? Ulquiorra-sama is like my brother!"

Mile-Rose: "You two keep denying that…"

Mai: "I said LIKE a brother. We're not related at all."

Sun-Sun: "Mai-chan, if you had to choose between Ulquiorra-sama and Grimmijow. Who would it be?"

Mai: "…Sun-Sun…Ulquiorra is like a brother and Grimmijow is like my pet cat. Nottin' more."

Harribel: "Cat?"

Mai: "You know what I mean, like a giant, blue, anger issued cat."

Entry 194

Guess what I overheard ta'day.

"*siiiigh* Ulquiorra-sama is so talented!"

"What the heck are you talking about, Sun-Sun?"

"He's German, but can speak German, Japanese, AND Spanish!"

"Everyone here knows at least a bit of Spanish, Sun-Sun…and we all speak Japanese…and how the heck is Ulquiorra-sama German?"

"His last name, Cifer."

"…"

"But can you're not as talented as him, can YOU speak German?"

"_Nein_…" (AN: No in German XD)

"That isn't fair… You ARE German…"

"Not really, I just found out from you that my last name is German, and Ulquiorra-sama speaks German to me when he's mad. It's funny~ But I gotta learn it if I wanna know what he's talking about^^"

"You're lucky Aizen-sama forced you to be his fraccion…"

"Not really. First it was Tia-sama, but she already had you guys to handle, then Grimmijow, who already had probably five, then Ulquiorra-sama since he has none!"

"It must annoy him a lot…"

"Yup~!"

Entry 195

It's soooo close to the 200th entry!

Aizen-taichou said he had a big surprise coming up in a few months…

(That means until the 500th entry in diary years)

Entry 196

Ulquiorra: "Why are you crying, Mai?"

Mai: "My favorite characters in my manga dieee!"

Ulquiorra: "…What manga do you read?"

Mai: "Bleach…"

Ulquiorra: "Sounds familiar…"

Entry 197

Aizen-taichou found pictures of everybody from last year's Hollow's Night (Halloween is what the Soul Society call it)

Yammy was a Cyclopes.

Aaroniero was just Aaroniero.

Apporo was a mad scientist…he said he was some guy named "Einstein…"

Zommari was a jack-o-lantern.

Grim-jow was a blue tiger. He just released and put on a tiger suit. Then painted it blue.

Nnoitra was Scream/Grim Reaper. No one knew what he was 'till he told us.

Ulquiorra was a Vampire. Aizen-taichou called 'im a "Vampire Soul Knight" He said it was his new made up manga…

Tia-chan was a…well…a shark is what she called it… Grim-jow told us she looked like girl "Jaws".

Barragan was a King.

Starrk was a sloth with a 1 on its tummy…

Entry 198

"GRIM-JOW! ULQUI-ORRA! MAI-CHAN! TIA-CHAN!"

"_**WHAT? IT'S 3 IN THE FREAKIN' MORNING, GIN/ICHIMARU/ICHIMARU-SAMA/FREAK!"**_

"Jynx ya four^^ And I wanna celebrate mah 200th entry. I want ya ta' be there and eat ice cream with me^^"

"I'M TIRED YOU FOX FREAK!"

"I am not that tired, but STILL."

"ICHIMARU-SAMA, NO ONE FEELS LIKE EATING COLD FROZEN COW INSIDE…UNKNOWN…SUBSTENCES AT 3 IN THE MORNING!"

"I WANT TO HAVE **SOME** SLEEP! I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL YOU FREAKS THAT KEEP TRYING TO LOOK DOWN MY JACKET ONLY TO RELIZE THAT I WEAR A HIGH COLLAR, BUT DON'T BOTHER ME AT NIGHT…_**EVER!"**_

"Not all of the Espada bother you, Tia."

"DON'T DENY IT, ULQUIORRA, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING WHEN YOU "ACCIDENTLY TRIP AND FALL" WHEN WE'RE PARTNERED UP ON PATROL!"

"So that's why Ulquiorra-sama has been getting his clothes so dirty in the sand…"

"HAHAHA! YOU ACTUALLY DO THAT, ULQUIORRA? SO MUCH FOR THE POWERFUL CUARTO!"

"SHUT IT, JAGERJEACUES! STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY JACKETS! I ALWAYS HAVE SPARES!"

"Haha, such a pervert, Grim-jow! Bad kitty!"

"AND STOP STEALING MY SPARES, ICHIMARU! MY FRACCION ALWAYS HAVE A JACKET I COULD USE!"

"…Ya still want ice cream though?"

"Sure…"

Entry 199

"Chocolate fer Mai-chan, Mint fer Ulqui-orra, blue ice cream popsicle thing fer Grim-jow, Vanilla fer Tia-chan, and RAINBOW HIGH SUGAR SHERBERT SUNDAE FER ME!"

"Uh…Ichimaru-sama…this ice cream tastes funny…"

"Disgusting! You woke me up because of this? This vanilla is hard and very gooey!"

"This blue stuff smells like shi-"

"Tuna fish! This mint tastes like tuna fish. Gin, where did you get this ice cream?"

"Well, I had mah own freezer so I kept mah ice cream in mah own freezer…but I ran outta room so I had Apporo-kun hold onta the rest of yer ice creams… and I got the ice cream at a ice cream shop."

"SO THIS STUFF WE JUST ATE WAS IN _APPORO'S FREEZER?"_

"Ya^^"

"Uh, oh…Ichimaru-sama….uh…I feel sick!"

"DAMN YOU- AHH! M-my chest…it burns!"

"Chikuso…(AN: Damn it… in Japanese) you will pay…"

"Uh…Gin, whatever you do, STAY STLL SO WE CAN KILL YOU LATER!"

"What's happenin' ta you guys?"

"I-I don't know…"

"OH SHI-"

~A~

Haha! Cliffhanger sort of ish… RIGHT BEFORE 200th! What will happen?

Gin: I dunno…

Hehe…

Oh well, here's a little extra:

Apporo: Arrancar Enccyclopedia…

Gin: Ta'day, we're gonna-"

Appro: Ichimaru-san, remember how you asked me to hold on to the ice cream?

Gin: Ya.

Apporo: Well…it seems I _accidentally _placed them in my experiment chemical freezer…

Gin: That explains Tia-chan's gooey half pink vanilla ice cream…

Apporo: …that's not good…


	19. BabIES: Liar Liar Pants On Fire!

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 19: BabIES: Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Entry 200

"Gin! What is all that racket? I may be the next king of everyone and everything plus more, but I need my sleep!"

"…That's a cute plush ya got dere, Aizen-taichou…"

"Thank you, Gin, but who are these three little babies and woah…"

"Aizen-sama! Ichimaru-sama bought ice cream for us, but when he had Apporo-san hold on to it, he put it in his chemical freezer and they must have gotten onto the ice cream, but it turned those three into babies and me into an adult!"

"Aizen-sama! Ichiw-…Ichimawu did dis to us! He's a meanie!"

"Calm down, Ulquiorra. Do you know where you all are?"

Grim-jow: Hueco Mundo or somethin' like dat…

Tia: A castle?

Ulquiorra: I dunno…

"Do you know how old are ya?"

"I neva forget! Ima six!"

"I'm five… Does that mean I get a pony for my next birthday?"

"I'm four…"

"Looks like everyone has their ranking as their age except for, Tia… Do any of you remember who this lovely lady is here?"

"Um…not weally…she looks like Grim-i-jow though… 'cept a girl."

"Kinda… you're pretty, my name's Tia! Who're you?"

"Ya, of course I remember! I may have shrunk, but bein' da oldest, I remember!"

_Oh dear, Kami, little Grim remembers…_

Entry 201

"Please listen to me while you enjoy your tea…and hot chocolate…"

"Aizen-sama…this chocolate stuff is hot…"

"Yer suppose to blow on it, Ulqui! Here! Like dis'."

Grim-jow is now blowin' on da cocoa for lil' Ulqui-orra.

Its so kawaii^^ Ima snap a picture!

Entry 202

"Gin, you take care of Harribel. Tousen, you take care of Ulquiorra."

"What about Grimmijow Jagerjacues, sir? Are you taking care of him?"

"Of course not, Tousen. I'm having Mai take care of him."

"Dear Kami-sama, I feel sorry for her…"

Entry 203

"M'kay, Tia-chan, ya wanna have some fun?"

"Yeah!"

"That's good! Now, just be really quiet while we play spy on Ulqui-kun and Grimmy-kun, alright?"

"M'kay! What's the prize?"

"…Ya get ta' play with the boys later!"

"hehehe, okay!"

Entry 204

"Tia-chan, don't knock, they'll see us!"

"Oh, sorry!"

Anyways, right now…

Lil' Ulqui: …

Tousen: …

Lil' Ulqui: …

Tousen: …

Lil' Ulqui: …

Tousen: …

Entry 205

That was a waste o' paper…

Anyways, this is Grimmy and Mai…

Mai: Okay, Grimmijow, now what?

"I still remember ev'rythin' even though I'm tiny…"

"I know…what do you want to do? You can't be alone being a little kid, even though you can't do any harm seeing how tiny you are!"

"Seein' how yer an ad-ult now…can ya pick me up?"

"Um, sure, you're not heavy at all…"

Probably Grim-jow's thoughts: (remember, he may be six but he has memory) _basically perverted thoughts_

Entry 206

"RAWR!"

"Harribel-chan!"

"Hiya, Mai-san! Maru-san told me that you're baby sitting me!"

"No! Tell Ichy Melon (tryin' ta say Ichi-maru) that Mai is baby sittin' ME!"

"Gosh, you don't have to be a meanie about it, Blue Grimmy Kitty!"

"Fart Face!"

"Ugly Butt!"

Both at the same time: VIRGIN!

Both at same time again: I'M TOO YOUNG SO HA!

"You just gotta crush on Mai-san, Grimmy!"

"NO I DON'T! Girls have cooties!"

"Mai-san's holdin' you right now!"

"She's an ad-ult!"

"LIAR! YOU JUST LIKE HER!"

"YOU'RE THE LIAR!"

"LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!"

"YOU'RE THE LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!"

"HOW CAN I BE? IMA NOT WEARING PANTS!"

"YEAH YOU ARE!"

"IT'S CALLED A SKIRT, SMARTY PANTS!"

"I _AM_ A SMARTY PANTS CUZ _I_ WEAR PANTS!"

"SHUT UP!"

"DON'T SAY BAD WORDS!"

"…YOU SAY IT ALL THE TIME!"

"NO I DO NOT! LIAR!"

"YOU'RE THE LIAR!"

And it keeps goin' …

Entry 207

Tia-chan is so kawaii as a lil' kid…

But this has its limits…

"TIA HARRIBEL-CHAN! I TOLD YOU NO! IT'S NOT NICE TO SCARE ULQUIORRA!...NOT GRIMMJOW EITHER! ………NO YOU CAN'T SET HIS PANTS ON FIRE! I DON'T CARE IF HE'S A LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!……..I DON'T CARE OF ITS FUNNY, JUST GET BACK HERE!"

She's so much work…

"PUT THAT MATCH DOWN, TIA! YER TOO YOUNG TA BE PLAYIN WITH FIRE!"

Entry 208

"Mai-san…"

"Huh? What's wrong, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"Tousen-san told me to go play…but no ones playing with me!"

"Aww, is Grimmy and Harribel not being nice?"

"No…Tia-nee is playing with fiw-fir-fire. Grim-nii is runnin' around with fire on his pants…"

"Eh? Does Ichimaru-sama know about this?"

"TIA HARRIBEL-CHAN! I ALREADY TOLD YA NO! GET OVER HERE!"

"…Now he does…"

Entry 209

"…Grimmy-nii, are you okay?"

"DO YOU THINK I'M OKAY? TIA SET MAH PANTS ON FIRE!"

"Well…you _did_ call her a liar liar pants on fire…"

"She is though! I don't gotta crush on Mai-san!"

"…"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT FACE! YOU KNOW SHE'S LYING!"

"…Tia-nee _is_ good at reading your head…"

"You mean reading my mind?"

"Ya, what you said…"

Entry 210

"Aww! You look so cute, Ulqui-kun!"

"But Tia-nee! This thing is ichy!"

"No it's not! I use ta wear it all the time!"

"You're a girl though!"

"So?"

"…never mind…"

"What are you- Aww! Ulquiorra-sama you look so cute! Eh…is that Harribel's jacket?"

"Yeah…"

"And that's Grim-kun's boots."

"This jacket is still ichy, Tia-nee…"


	20. BabIES: Geizhals!

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

**_I KNOW THE GERMAN IS WRONG. PLEASE PLEASE NO MORE REVIEWS ON HOW I SCREWED IT UP OR ULQUIORRA'S GERMAN SUCKS. IF IT REALLY BOTHERS YOU, PRETEND THAT ULQUI'S GERMAN IS JUST THAT BAD CUZ HE'S A LIL KID. NOW...pleas R&R^^_**

Chapter 20: BabIES: Geizhals

Entry 211

Mornin' Diary-kun.

"WAHHHHHH!GEIZHALS!"

*sigh* I'll just roll over and pretend ta sleep now…

Entry 212

I can't sleep again…

Oh well, let's spy on how Mai-chan is doin'…

"What's wrong, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"Tia-nee called me secondary! Geizhals…"

"…Do you know what it means?"

"NO!"

"It's a big word for my age! It means that it's not a primary color!"

"…What's primary mean?"

"It's a big fancy word that means it's a beginning color that makes up everything if you just mix 'em right!"

"…"

Entry 213

Mai-chan's now in the hall talkin' ta Tia-chan.

"Harribel, why'd you call Ulquiorra-sama "secondary"?"

"Cuz his favorite color is green. It's a sec-on-dary color."

"Okay…what's your favorite color?"

"Grim-kun likes blue. I use to like blue 'till Grimmy took it… So now, my favorite color is yellow!"

"Which are…?"

"Both primary colors! I tried getting Ulqui-kun ta like red, but he said he liked green better."

"…Just go apologize to Ulquiorra-sama."

Entry 214

"Okay, everybody! We're gonna play school today! I'm the teacher! You can call me Tia-sensei!"

Tia-chan then gave a cute lil' curtsie.

"Ohayou, Tia-sensei…" (Good morning in Japanese)

"But I wanna be the teacher!"

"Bad Grimmy! You have to listen to me!" :)

"Fine…"

"Anyways! Today, we're sharing our favorite colors!"

Me: Silver.

Mai-chan: Blue

Grim-jow: Blue!

Ulquiorra: Green, you big geizhals…

Tia-chan: Secondary, primary, primary, and…freaky…"

Me: HOW'S SILVER FREAKY?

Tia: Cuz you are.

Entry 215

Tia: "Grimmy-kun is so stupid!"

Ulqui: "Why, Tia-nee?"

Tia: "Cuz he likes Mai-san! No off-ence, Mai-san, but you're wayyyy older then us!"

Mai: "…"

Ulqui: "You know…Mai-san is younger then Grimmy-kun…the pink hairy guy just made it difficult."

Tia: "You mean different?"

Ulqui: "Yeah…what you said…geizhals…"

Entry 216

Grim: "Uhhh!"

Ulqui: "What's wrong, Grim-kun?"

Grim: "Harribel-chan is just a stupid ugly butt!"

Ulqui: "How do you know if her butt is ugly? And how is a butt ugly? A butt's a butt…"

Grim: "…Well…she's just that ugly then! She's suppose to be younger then me!"

Ulqui: She is…the pink glassy guy made it…difficult…but she's still younger then you…"

Grim: "Don't ya mean different? And you're older then me just by a lil' bit anyways…"

Ulqui: "I AM?"

Grim: "…"

Entry **721**

"Ulquiorra, that's suppose to say 217, not 721…"

"Same thing…Hey…Ichy-Melon?"

"Ya?"

"Can you make Tia-nee and Grim-kun stop fighting? I don't like it when they fight…"

"Maybe they fight cuz they like each other!"

"Ohhh! Good idea! Ich hatte es wissen mussen!" (I should have thought of that! In German XD)

"Ehh?"

Entry 218

"_Hallo_, Grim-kun, Tia-nee…" (Hello in German)

"What do you want?"

"Why are you here, Ulquiorra?"

"_Ich mochte nur sagen…dass_…" (I want to say is…that)

"What the heck are you sayin', Ulquiorra?"

"Ulqui-kun, can you please speak a language I know. Like…English or Japanese?"

"_Nein…und bitte unterbrechen Sie mich nicht_…" (No…and please do not interrupt me…)

"What's the point of listening to ya when we have no idea what you're saying?"

"_Warum__seid ihr so zu kämpfen? Ich mag es nicht, wenn Sie kämpfen_...?" (Why are you guys fighting? I don't like it when you're fighting…)

"Wha…?"

"Mai-san! Do you know what's he's saying?"

"_Ist es, weil du wie jede andere_?" (Is it because you like each other?)

"…Uh…if yer asking something, no?"

"_Guter punkt, Grimmy-kun NICHT wie Mai-san_…" (Good point, Grimmy-kun DOES like Mai-san…)

(Grim-jow probably figured it out, hearing his name and Mai's)

"I DO NOT! I think…"

"_Hehehe, sie sind stumm!" _(Hehehe, you are dumb!)

"STOP MOCKING ME!"

"_Mai-san verstehen kann was ich sage, sie wissen…" _(Mai-san can understand what I say, you know…)

"I SAID STOP MOCKING ME!"

"_Den mund halten, Ulquiorra!_ Speak so that they can understand!" (Shut up, Ulquiorra!)

"_Geizhals_!" (Meanie!)

Entry 219

The weirdest thing just happened...

AT APPORO'S LAB:

"Ahhh! Sound proof labs that let you get away from little powerful brats!"

"GEIZHALS!" (MEANIE! In German XD)

Entry 220

Grim: "Why is Ulquiorra speaking so much German?"

Mai: "Maybe because he's stressed… He DOES speak German normally when he's mad, stressed, or just extremely bored…"

Ulqui: "CHIKUSO!" (Damn it in Japanese, not German, sorry XD)

Tia: "ULQUI-KUN! THAT'S A BAD WORD!"

Entry 221

Ulquiorra went back ta normal…

He's now boring ol' emo Ulquiorra…

Mai's still "older" then him though…

She's also still his fraccion…

It's FUNNY~!

'Specially when their alone in da same room.

Ima good at spyin' :)


	21. BaBIESMiniCookieMiniCupcakes&Punishments

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 21: Mini Cookies, Mini Cupcakes, and Punishments

Entry 222

Uh, oh…

This can't be good…

We ran outta mini cookies…

Ulquiorra and Tia-chan ain't gonna like that one bit…

Entry 223

"I WANT MY MINI COOKIES!" 

"Here, have this instead!"

"What is it, Mai-san?"

"Mini cupcakes!"

"Their so cute!" *CHOMP*

Entry 224

"Mai, please get me some of those mini cookies…"

"Uh…Grimmijow and Ichimaru-sama ate them all last night…So we ran out…"

"WHAT? DUMME IDIOTEN!" (Stupid idiots in German XD)

"Ulquiorra-sama, we have those mini cupcakes though…"

"What color is the icing thing?"

"We have pink, blue, and green."

"Thank, Kami-sama. Please get one of the green ones… Oh, and while you are at it…throw the blue ones in Grimmijow's face for me…"

"Hai, Ulquiorra-sama! Can Tia-chan help me?"

"I'D LOVE TO!"

"…Sure…"

Entry 225

"AHHHH!"

"EAT THIS, GRIMMY!"

"OUCH! THAT HURT!"

"IT'S ONLY A MINI CUPCAKE!"

"WAHHH!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Tia…that's a bit much…"

"Shh…I'm sticking it in his pants!"

"THAT'S COLD! THE CUPCAKES WERE IN THE FRIDGE! THEY'RE COLD!"

"STOP BEING SUCH A STUPID UGLY FACE!"

"OK OK OK OK OK OK! YOU'RE NOT A LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAND?" 

"…OW! OK OK OK OK OK! I GOTTA CRUSH ON MAI! JUST STOP!"

"That's better^^"

Entry 226

*sigh*

Gin is on another mission of his.

So I have to watch…THEM…

Meaning Tia and the trashy Sexta…

But I just hope the chemicals wear off soon…

It's awkward when you have a Mai that is suppose to be "older" then you that shares a room with you…

Especially because child Grimmjow keeps coming into my room at night to see her…

Entry 227

Mai: "Good night, Ulquiorra-sama…"

Me: "You, too, Mai…"

(PS when you enter my headquarters, its my bedroom, then the room in the left corner is Mai's)

Some voice: "Good night, Mai~!"

Mai: "AHH!"

Me: "WHO'S THERE?"

Mai: "GRIMMJOW! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Entry 228

*sigh*

My life is already hard enough…

But child Grimmjow decided to sleep with Mai…

He used the excuse "the dark scared me"

Mai just replied by throwing a pillow in his face…

But he still got to sleep here…sadly…

Entry 229

"AHHHH!"

Ugh…. I do not want to get up right now…

"GRIMMJOW, GET OFF OF ME! YOU'RE HEAVY!"

Ugh…looks like I do have to get up…

Do I ever get a break?

Entry 230

"What is all the noise, trash?"

"Ulquiorra-sama! The chemical thing wore off and Grimmjow changed back in his sleep! He's heavy! Get him off me!"

"…You REALLY want me to help you?"

"…HE'S HEAVY!"

"I will return in a minute…"

"CAN'T YOU BE ANY FASTER?"

"Yes, but this is actually amusing…"

Entry 231

*dumps bucket of water*

"THAT'S COLD, ULQUIORRA!"

*dumps another bucket of water*

"You forgot the –sama…"

"THAT'S COLD, ULQUIORRA-**SAMA!"**

*dumps another bucket*

"ULQUIORRA! THAT'S COLD!"

"_Oh_, did you have a pleasant sleep?"

"Shut up, Ulquiorra!"

*dumps another bucket*

"Why do you keep dumping water on us?"

"I always fill up five buckets…"

"So…?"

*dumps last bucket*

"AARRRRRG!"

Entry 232

(At the meeting)

"Why are you soaking wet, Grimmijow?"

"…I'd rather not talk about it…"

"Did Ulquiorra push you in the lake again?"

"No…"

"I poured five buckets of water on him because he was sleeping on top of my "sister."

"STILL SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT! I'M AFRAID OF WATER YA KNOW!"

"But you were sleeping on top of Mai…She asked me to get you off…"

"IT WASN'T NICE THOUGH!"

"It wasn't nice to sleep on top of someone either…"

"Both of you are punished…"

"WHY?"

"Because Ulquiorra, you dumped water on Grimmijow, who is afraid of water, and Grimmijow, because you fell asleep on top of someone. And because you both are holding up a meeting… which is already long enough…so… I'll give you your punishments later…yes…you will regret this…"

"We already do…you're holding up the meeting longer then we did…"

Entry 233

Wow, I haven't written in here for a long time…I think…

Hm…Ichimaru-sama writes a lot about us…

Uh-oh…

"TIA-CHAN! YOU CAN'T THROW A CUPCAKE AT ULQUIORRA-SAMA! HE'LL TRY TO MURDER YOU!"

O.O

"APOLOGIZE TO ULQUIORRA-SAMA RIGHT NOW!"

…

"DON'T STICK ONE DOWN HIS SHIRT!"

…

"THAT'S NOT NICE, HARRIBEL!"

Entry 234

"Ulquiorra-sama! Ulquiorra-sama!"

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, but Aizen-sama just gave me a piece of paper that had your punishment on it!"

"Is mine worse then Grimmijow's?"

"Hm…I don't know…you decide…"

"What is Grimmijow's punishment?"

"To take care of Tia-chan until she reverts back to normal…"

"Hm…I almost feel sorry for the trashy Sexta…"

Entry 235

My punishment is much worse then Grimmijow's…

I…I have to play truth or dare…

So does everyone else…so it won't be THAT bad…

…Well, it will be, but that's not the point…

…I guess it IS the point, but still…

Hm…I think that's all for now

Entry 236

Mai came up to me and told me to write in Gin's journal.

_Please send in truths and dares for the Espada. And thank you so much for the reviews! BTW, I don't own anything except my OCs._

Mai must be drunk again…


	22. Ulquiorra's Punishment AKA Truth or Dare

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 22: Ulquiorra's Punishment AKA Truth or Dare!

Entry 237

I'm back ev'ryrone~

I musta missed lotta stuff…

Oh, we get ta play truth er dare!

Entry 238

List of Truth er Dare players:

Mai-chan (Still adult, wonderin' if she's gonna change back anytime soon)

Ulquiorra (Boring ol' emo Ulquiorra…)

Grimmijow (Same ol' Grim-jow not a baby, not quite an adult^^)

Tia-chan (As a kawaii lil' baby! Well, five in Livin' Years…)

ME (The best one here!)

Apporo (He's only here in case o emergencies, but he can still play)

Starrk (Who's sleepin' Tia-chan's tryin' ta wake him up)

And all the other Espada…

Aizen's playin' too….

Tousen said Truth or Dare ain't justice…

We're playin' in da meetin' room.

LET US START! (Here come the groans of disagreement!)

Entry 239

"Ulqui-orra, truth or dare?"

"Truth…"

"Alrighty! Dare it is! I dare ya ta wear an evening gown fer da rest of da…I'll change it from a day ta a week!"

"…Where would I get an evening gown?"

"Tia-chan or Mai-chan might got one^^"

*a few minutes later*

"Hm…blue is not the best color on you, Ulquiorra-sama…"

"Now, ev'ryone can take a picture if they want!"

*CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK OF OH SO MANY CAMERAS*

*_**FLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASHFLASH***_

"Thank you, Aizen-sama! If you didn't randomly pull sunglasses out of nowhere, then we'd all go blind!"

Entry 240

"Starrk…"

"Yeah? *yawn*"

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth *yawwwwn*"

"Is it true that you keep a spare pillow everywhere you go?"

"*yawn* Yeah."

"…Even in the bathroom?"

"Your turn is over…"

"…"

"…Yeah…even in the bathroom…"

Entry 241

"*yawn* Tia, truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to pelt Grimmijow with cupcakes…"

"OKAY!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Hm…my punishment is actually slightly amusing…"

"SHUT IT, ULQUIORRA!"

"BE NICE, GRIM-KUN!"

"OW!"

Entry 242

"Grimmy-kun, truth or dare?"

"Oww…truth and dare, I don't really care…"

"That rhymed!"

"…"

"Oh yeah, um…truth…WHY ARE YOU SUCH A STUPID AND UGLY FACED KITTY?"

"I'M NOT AS UGLY AS CHARLOTTE COOLHORN!"

"WHO'S THAT?"

*shows picture*

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! I JUST LOST ANY INNOCENCE I HAD LEFT!"

"I KNOW, I KNOW, I FREAKIN' KNOW!"

"Moving on, your dare is go up to Hit-su-gaya and ask him, "How tall are you exactly?" Wait until he tells you then run away screaming at the sky saying "THAT'S A TINY FREAKIN' MIDGET!" If he tries to go after yer guts, say that if you follow him, someone's waiting~ and wink after that! Ya, I know I talk too much^^"

"Really?"

"YUSH!"

*a few hours later*

"Who's waiting for me?"

"MEEE!"

"HOLY SHI-"

"DON'T USE BAD WORDS, HITSU-KUN!"

"TIA HARRIBEL? TERCERA ESPADA? 

"YUSH! NOW COME WITH ME TO THE WORLD OF THE LIVING SO WE CAN BUY MORE MINI COOKIES AND MINI CUPCAKES!"

"Alright…only because Matsumoto requested that I buy her something from some place called "Victoria Secret."

"…OKAY! Let's go!"

Entry 243

"Aizen-sama, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do you like anyone?"

"Yes…yes I do."

"…Who?"

"Your turn is over, Grimmijow."

Entry 244

"Gin…"

"Ya, Aizen-taichou?"

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to stop smiling and open your eyes for the rest of this game."

"…Fine, Aizen-taichou…sorry in advance…"

"Why?"

*opens eyes and stops smiling*

Mai: "OMFG! AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Grim: "HOLY SHI-"

Ulqui: "………*shocked outta his emo mind*"

Entry 245

*a while later*

"GRIMMIJOW!"

"WHAT?" 

"Truth or dare? And why ain't ya lookin' at me?"

"Dare…and I'd rather not go blind, thankyouverymuch!" *Learning nothing from last time…he points at Mai*

*Gin, wanting to get SOMETHING good out of the game, has an idea* "Okay…I dare ya ta try an' steal one o' Mai's panties…"

O.O

*A while later*

Mai: "DAMN YOU, GRIMMIJOW JAGERJEACUES!"

*Tia and Shiro have returned!*

Tia: "YEAH! I GOT MORE CUPCAKES TO PELT YA WITH!" *Chucks a cold one at his hair*

Grim: "NOT THE FREAKIN HAIR!"

Mai: "YOU DISGUSTING PERVERT!"

Ulqui: "This is what you get for…you know…" *Smashes a tomato in Grimmy's face*

Tia: "FOOD FIGHT!"

Mai: "GET OVER HERE YOU BASTARD, GRIMMIJOW!"

Ulqui: "Hm…*throws tomato at Grim again*"

Gin: *chucks chemi cream (the disgusting ice cream) at Grimmijow*

"And some of you wonder why I don't get emotionally involved with anything…"

"SHUT IT ULQUIORRA!"

*smashes another tomato to the face!*

Entry 246

"That dress really doesn't look the best on you, Ulquiorra-sama…"

"Anyways, I will stop the game here! Ulquiorra, you still have to wear that dress until Gin gets to him 300th entry."

O.O Nooooooooooo!

Entry 247

Aizen-taichou decided to keep Hitsu-kun here.

So…we kidnapped him.

He's stayin' in one o those rooms like Orihime stays in, 'cept this one is next to Tia-chan's room.

…Sadly, she's not a baby anymore…

And Mai-chan isn't an adult anymore…

*sigh*

What will happen next?

_AN: I haven't updated in a few days…_

_BUT I AM BACK ONCE AGAIN AND HAVE MANY NEW IDEAS!_

WOOOO!

_PITCH YER IDEAS IN TOO!_

_THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE 61 AND ON GOING REVIEWS!_

_*glomps*_


	23. Dresses

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 23: Dresses

Entry 248

Whoa…

Nnoitra tried flirtin' with dis girl he saw in the hall today…

It turned out to be Ulquiorra in his dress (from the dare)

He then led Nnoitra outside the dome of Las Noches…

Then Nnoitra got a HUGE Cero Oscuras to the face.

It musta HURT!

Trust me…

I know from experience.

Entry 249

Hm…

Ulquiorra changed inta a white dress…

Ta be honest…

He looks like a better version of the bride o some guy named Frankenstein…

Entry 250

HALF WAY TA 500!

Entry 251

Ha…Ulquiorra couldn't find more then two dresses that fit him...

So he got Aizen-taichou's permission ta go ta da World o' da Livin' to live there until he doesn't have to wear any more dresses.

This time, Ulqui-kun, Tia-chan, Apporo-kun, Apache, Mai-chan, and ima goin' ta da time share place with them tomorrow.

Yay! Da more da merrier! (More groans o disagreement!)

Entry 252

Hm…

Da garganta didn't break dis time…

It's a miracle!

Entry 253

Apporo-kun and Ulquiorra gotta share a room.

Mai-chan and Apache are sharin' the other room.

And I gotta share with Tia-chan.

She called the bed…

That means I get the closet…

Whoop-dee-doo! (AN: He's being half sarcastic)

Entry 254

*yawn* Mornin' Diary-kun…

"AHHHHH! SZAYEL, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?"

That doesn't SOUND like any o da girls…or Apporo…

Looks like it's Ichimaru to da RESCUE!

Entry 255

Me: "What sa-matter?"

Ulqui: "Apporo shot me with something last night!"

Apporo: "I have been working on it for a while, its safe!"

Ulqui: "And it turned me into a trashy girl!"

Tia: "Girls are not trashy! Do you WANT me to prove that to you, again, Ulquiorra?"

Ulqui: "No, Tia…"

Mai: "That dress looks a bit better then the other ones, Ulquiorra-sama…"

Entry 256

Alrighty! Mai here!

Tia-sama and I decided to help Ulquiorra-sama as a girl! So we're taking him/her shopping with us!

Oooohhhh! That purple dress wouldn't look too bad on you! Come on!

Dear, Kami-sama…please help me get away from this shopping…

It's not THAT bad, Ulqui-sama! Ooohhh! Try on that white skirt! Oh! And that too!

_Hm… you don't look too bad, Ulqui._

Tia…I am in a "mini skirt" and I feel ridiculous. I look like trash.

_That's rude! I wore that when I was turned into a kid!  
_

Sorry…

Come on, Ulqui-sama! If you refuse to wear any color, but green and white and maybe red, let's go!

Why can't I just wear my regular uniform?

_You have to wear a dress or skirt of some sort, so come on!_

Yeah! Tia-sama found the cutest shirt for you! It's green too! 

Dear, Kami-sama…why…why is it ME who gets tortured and not the trashy Sexta?

Cuz Grimmijow wasn't dared to wear a dress, now come ON!

Entry 257

Hm…it seems that Mai took mah diary.

Anyways…Later at dinner, we were chattin'.

"Ulqui-sama, you know my favorite manga?"

"Something trashy called Bleach."

"Yeah, there's an anime, too…And you're about to die thanks to that STUPID HOLLOW ICHIGO/ICHIGO!"

"…Mai?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you drunk?"

"No…why?"

"Oh…just checking…"

Entry 258

Haha, listen ta what Ima eavesdropping on right now^^

"Tia, what did you need to talk about?"

"Well, Ulqui…you, being a girl now…" *Ulquiorra gets slightly mad-please-shut-up-now face*

"You…need to…well…wear a-"

"I will stop this trashy conversation here. I know…I'll…borrow one from…Mai…"

That was when I stepped in with mah sarcasm. ^^

"Borrow what from Mai-chan, Ulqui-chan?"

"It is none of your business, Gin."

"Well, if Grim-jow was here, then he'd say 'Ya lucky bastard!"

"…Get out…"

Entry 259

"Ichimaru-san, look!"

"What is it, Apporo-kun?"

"I now have a penpal!"

"What's a penpal?"

"A simple term would be someone you communicate with through sending messages on paper. It's supposed to be fun!"

"Hm…I should get one…"

Entry 260

Mai-chan explained fanfiction ta me again…

So now, she's here. Hiya Mai-chan^^

_THANK YOU EVERYBODY SOOO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! I LOVE YOU ALL! *GLOMPS*_

*a minute later*

Sorry, Mai-chan wuz glompin' mah diary…

So dere ya got it, Mai-chan thanks ya all very much. And I guess I'll thank ya too…

Why?

Cuz ya help make things more interesting^^ I mean Ulqui in a dress? That's just hilarious^^

Arigato minna-chan^^ (PS, Mai-chan thanks ya 'gain and says she loves ya. Grim would be jealous^^

_AN: I LOVE YOU GUYS FOR REVIEWING! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!_

_Ulqui: *look on face: HELP ME*_

_Mai: *glomps*_

_Gin: Arigato. Ja bai bai, Minna-chan^^_


	24. Crazier

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 24: Crazier

Entry 261

"_You lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around! You make me, crazier, crazier!_"

Ya…I recorded Mai-chan singin' when she didn't know I was watchin' her twirlin' 'round da room with Grin.

So after I recorded her mini concert on mah cell phone, I sent it ta Grim-jow.

Ya shoulda seen how he reacted to it when he called me.

It freaked everybody out^^

But shushy, Mai-cha ain't found out yet.

Entry 262

"_I've never gone with the wind, just let it flow. Let it take me where it wants to go."_

"_Till you open the door, there's so much more, I never seen it before!"_

"_I was trying to fly, but I couldn't find wings, but when you came along and changed everything…"_

"_You lift my feet off the ground! You spin me around, you make me crazier, crazier, feels like I'm fallin' and I…lost in your eyes…you make me crazier, crazier, crazier…"_

That's when my phone started goin' low battery so I had ta stop recording.

Entry 263

I sent dis one to Ran-chan…and Nnoitra.

Both laughed hard.

Cuz it was Mai-chan AND Ulqui-orra singin'.

Ulquiorra was the one that started it^^

Uh oh, better hide my phone…

Entry 264

*sigh*

Mai-chan and Ulquiorra found out that I recorded dere 'concerts'

It's still funny^^

Entry 265

Apporo-kun walked into the room whistlin' / hummin' a song called Crazier by a girl named Taylor Swift.

Ulquiorra and Mai-chan both looked like they wanted ta strangle a cat or kill Apporo.

I couldn't find da cat, so they went and tried ta strangle Apporo.

Grim-jow must not like that line…

To strangle a cat… I should us it on him^^

Entry 266

"Ulqui-chan, ya know how ya said ya couldn't find wings in da song? If ya release then ya got wings then ya can fly!"

"…You want me to find my wings?"

"It would make a great concert!"

"_Tozase, __**Murcielago!**_"

"Uh oh…"

Entry 267

_That concert was very entertaining!_

_This here is Szayel Apporo Grantz!_

_Nnoitra sent me a link and I have got to say, female Ulquiorra has a great voice!_

_Grimmijow thinks Mai sounds better…_

_Ulquiorra and Mai both tried to strangle me._

_Ichimaru distracted them with his wing question while I made my escape out of the window…but I fell into the tree…_

_Luckily, Harribel got me down…with a giant gush of water…_

_It hurt…_


	25. Woman, Hurt, and Languages

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Warnings: Mentions of stuff I don't like typing about XD And language slightly…

Chapter 25: Woman, Hurt, Languages

Entry 268

Mai-chan is crying in the corner right now…

Apparently…her favorite character died in 'Bleach'.

Wait…aren't we all already dead?

Weird how we die so many times…

Entry 269

Ulquiorra is havin' a bad day.

Especially since Apporo left and Grimmijow came…

Grim-jow laughed HARD when he saw "her".

He even started having a milk bleed!

That's where he laughed so hard milk comes outta his nose since he was drinkin' it.

I call it a milk bleed^^

Entry 270

"T-Tia!"

"What's wrong Ulquiorra?"

"There's something wrong with me! It's very trashy, too!"

"…Which is…?"

"There's…there's…I don't really know…"

"Don't worry, Ulquiorra. It's just 'your time of the month."

"Which is…?"

_*realization hits him/her like four ton of tampons*_ _(PS this is Tia Harribel writing)_

"THAT? IT'S THE TRASHIEST THING I'VE HEARD OF!"

"Relax, after a while you'll get use to it… I'm sure you asked Mai about it, being the curious Espada you are."

"…"

"Don't give me that look. I know you were the one that 'experimented' the new brand of cat nip that Ichimaru bought. It was supposed to be a prank with some black cat, but _no_ you wanted to see what it was."

"…"

"What? You're looking at me as if I just unzipped my jacket!"

"No…it's not that… You forgot to tell me what I should do about 'my time of month."

"Oh…you see-"

_I will stop writing here. I think it is a personal thing and is awkward to write about._

_So don't be a pervert, Gin, Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and all others._

Entry 271

Mai-chan is so amusin'^^

Listen ta what I heard earlier ta'day!

"Ulqui-sama, you're a woman now!"

"What?"

"When you get …"it", it means you're a woman now!"

"…"

"Wow, even I'm not one yet!"

"…Mai?"

"Yeah, Ulqui-sama?"

"Are you on crack?"

"What's crack?"

"It's- …I don't know actually…"

"You're still a woman now… "

"Please shut up…"

Entry 272

*sigh*

Mai-chan and Apache headed back ta Hueco Mundo ta'day…

'Parrently, they were fightin' too much 'bout who was closer to "womanhood."

Poor, poor, poor, Mai-chan…

Apache apparently is a stronger woman…

But than Mai-chan she looked more like a woman…

Apache better not test that strength on Mai-chan on da two hour trip back ta Hueco Mundo for dem later…

Entry 273

*sigh*

In place o' Mai-chan and Apache-kun, Hitsu-kun and Pet-sama came…

Dere's three rooms and six people.

Room 3: Tia-chan an' Hitsu-kun

Room 2: Ulqui' an' Pet-sama (He-she said he'd-she'd rather share with Tia-chan)

Room 1: Ichimaru (ME!) an' Grim-jow.

Entry 274

Grim-jow wuz drinkin' some milk ta'day.

"SO…Grim-jow…"

He hmm'ed. I think dats drinkin'-milk-while-someone's-talkin'-ta-ya speak for "what?"

"Got milk?"

"PPFFFSSSSHHHHHT!"

Hahaha! Grim just spit his milk all over da place! ^^

Entry 275

"Ow! Ulqui-san that hurt! Why'd you put that there?"

"I didn't put it there. If it gets in your way than move it, trashy woman."

"I can't! It's too big!" yelled Pet-sama.

Ha, I'm spying on Grim-jow who's eavesdroppin' on Pet-sama and Ulqui'.

Grim-jow just turned red faced an' got a nosebleed.

I wonder what dere…talking about…?

Entry 276

Hiya… continuin' on da spyin' da eavesdropper.

"Owww! That really hurts!"

"Be quiet woman, you're making a racket. It can't hurt that badly."

"Y-you try it than! Owww!"

"Stop crying, Woman. Let me try."

"See how you like it!"

"OUCH! Holy shit, that hurts!"

"Owwwwww, told you!"

…Grim-jow and I are now pressed up to the door, listenin' with red faces and slight nosebleeds…

Entry 277

It's Grimmijow here. Shut up and just listen to this!

"Ah…OW! I feel the blood, Ulqui-san!"

"Chikuso! That really does hurt… Ugh...now there is blood all over the bedding. How will we explain this to the home owners?"

"What is going on here?" demanded Hitsu-taichou.

"Shush, Hitsu-kun! Just listen!" I pulled 'im down to hear.

"There's blood on my pillow, too… OW!"

"Stop moving around so much, the blood wouldn't come out so much if you don't bump into it so much."

"OW!"

"CHIKUSO! That hurts, dammit!"

Now we all got slight red faced/nose bleeds…

Entry 278

"May I ask what you are doing?" demanded Tia as she tapped her foot, standin' over us.

"Halibel, just get down here and listen! What the heck do you think they're doing in there?"

"It is not polite to eavesdrop…and I told you to call me _Harribel_ not_ Halibel_."

"Just get down here!" said Grim-jow as he pulled _Harribel_ down ta the ground so she could listen.

"Ulqui-san, that's too big and heavy for me to move!"

"It can't be _that_ hard. Move a little, Woman. I'll do it."

"Fine, I'd like to see you try!" We heard some slight gruntin' and pantin'…Wow, Grim has a tissue box for nose bleeds… That sure helps for Hitsu-kun's innocent mind…

"Chikuso! I can't move it! Trashy Apporo that turned me into a female!"

"Ulqui-san, don't worry about being female! I'll show you how to be a woman! Do this with me!"

"Um…"

Ya got no idea how much Hitsu an' Grim was pressin' the door ta hear better. I was doin' it, too, but not as much. Tia seemed red faced I think if ya could see her face…

Entry 279

"Chikuso, that hurts. How does ANYONE work with this?"

"You'll get use to it after a while, Ulqui-san! And I'm guessing you're having your time of the month, you seem to be so mood-swingy."

"Be quiet, Woman. Now…help me get out of this."

"Be polite! Say please."

"Chikuso, dammit, it hurts! Just help me!"

"Fine, fine, Mr. I mean Miss Grumpy Skirt."

"I swear I would murder you if Aizen-sama didn't mind."

"Ladies don't go around talking about murder and stuff. It's not lady-like!"

"I am not a woman, Woman! Chikuso, I am Cuarto Espada, Ulquiorra Cifer, and I shouldn't have to deal with- OW!"

"Told you it hurts when you do it for real…"

"Verdammt! Das tut weh!" (Sorry, online translation, not sure if it's right… I'm trying for him-her to say 'Damn it! That hurts!')

Entry 280

"Crap, we don't know what they're talking about now!"

"…Hitsu-kun…I thought ya didn't want ta get involved with dis."

"Be quiet, he's welcome to join. We need to keep an eye on him since the girl and the captain here are supposed to be our prisoners."

"…Didn't you say it was impolite to eavesdrop, Halibel?"

"Don't call me Halibel! Dear, Kami, I'm leaving."

"Where are ya goin, Tia-chan?"

"No es asunto tuyo!" (Online translation, all translation double checked: None of your business!)

Wow-za. We got so many different-language-speakers-when-dere-mad-people in da house!

All da Espada 'cept Grim-jow! He's so stupid^^

"Je ne suis pas stupide! Je parle français!" yelled Grim-jow. (Online translation, double checked: I'm not stupid! I speak French!)

_AN: So many languages…_

_Well, only three, but ya._

_Next chapter name!_

_**Arrancar Encyclopedia: Responsibility**_

_OMG I FORGOT SOMETHING!  
_

Entry 281

I fer'got somethin'

So I'll throw it in before we continue! 

Happy late birthday ta' AppleDoodle-chan!

Mai-chan says Hiya, but she ain't here.

So… I wrote a …song… for ya birthday!

Lesse here… Wait a moment…

_Happy Birthday, Apple-chan,_

_Hope ya had a good day!_

_Though we really don't know you,_

_Hip, hip, hip, hip, HOORAY!_

(To da theme of some song called Yankee Doodle! Ulquiorra sang it for ya! If yer birthday's comin' up, just tell us in a review!)


	26. Arrancar Encyclopedia: Responsibility

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 26: Arrancar Encyclopedia: Responsibility

Entry 282

We're gonna film ta'day.

Aizen-taichou said dat he would like ta see what we think o responsibility! 

So we're filmin' with Tia-chan's camera.

It's gonna be full of what not and what ta do's.

We're gonna have some guests, too!

Here we go!

Entry 283

Grimmijow is filmin' and Pet-sama an' Hitsu-kun is helpin' with lightin' an' da camera.

Tia-chan: "Arrancar Encyclopedia…"

"Ta'day, we're makin' dis film for Aizen-taichou ta see our responsibility. Some things ta do an' not do!"

"ICHIMARU GIN, GET OVER HERE, IDIOTA BASTARDO!" (Idiota bastado, stupid bastard in Spanish. Translation checked twice like usual now.)

"Numero uno…"

Entry 284

"I am Ulquiorra- *sigh* I see you waving, Woman… Fine…"

TAKE 2! 

"I am Ulqui Cifer and I will narrate this responsibility video for Aizen-sama."

(In the background) "JUST LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

"Come on, Ulquiorra! To Halibel's room!" yelled Grimmijow as he ran with the camera. …That's a bit dangerous… (This is Ulquiorra writing)

Entry 285

"Woah…"

"Ew…"

"Holy icicles…"

"ICHIMARU! For what damn reason did you take all my…under garments out and HANG THEM ALL OVER MY ROOM? I HAVE GUESTS IN HERE REGULARLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!"

"I didn't do it! Grim-jow did!"

"YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!"

"Grim-jow…ya got her…'undergarments' in yer shirt…"

"HOLY SHI-"

"GET BACK HERE YOU RAT BASTARD!"

"Number one, never ever mess with Tia Harribel's clothing. She will try and murder you if you are a lower rank. As most of you trashy idiots should know, most of us are. Even if you happen to be Starrk or Barragan, she will make you regret it."

"CERO OSCURAS!"

"HOLY FOX PLUSHIES! SHE RELEASED! EV'RYONE TAKE COVER! ….I DON'T CARE IF SHE LOOKS HOT OR WHATEVER, YOU WILL DIE!"

Entry 286

"Grimmijow, you should not have done that. Now…get out of the way so we can film."

"I can't move mah ARMS OR LEGS! MY NECK IS PROBABLY BROKEN AND OW! I moved mah face too much…"

"Did you not learn anything from when you kissed Mai?"

"That was a good-OW!"

"Do not think of so much perverted thoughts."

Entry 287

"Are you done setting up for whatever it is, Gin?"

"Almost, Ulqui'! Apporo's gonna be a guest."

"Okay…hey! Hey! HEY! What are you doing?"

"YOU WILL NEVER BE AS CUTE AS MAI! AND YOU WILL NEVER BE AS HOT AS HALIBEL!"

"WHAT? I DO NOT WISH TO BE CALLED CUTE OR HOT! I AM NOT EVEN A WOMAN!"

"HEY, _ULQUI!_ I DON'T THINK THAT GREEN WAS A GOOD COLOR TODAY!" yelled Grim-jow. (He took da job fer number two, just cuz he got ta yell insults at Ulqui)

"SHUT UP, TRASH! I would like to see you wear one!"

"I'D LOOK HOTTER THAN YOU FOR SURE! BUT WHAT'S THAT RED BLOTCH ON THE BACK OF YOUR SKIRT?"

"WHAT? VERDAMMT (damn in German)! HOW DOES TIA WEAR WHITE CLOTHING AND NOT LET THIS HAPPEN?"

*sigh*rolling of eyes* "My name is Tia Harribel. I am here to show what not to do. Number two, do not insult and shout at "Ulqui" about him turning into a female. Also, as a shot to Szayel Apporo Grantz, the Octava Espada, who is FOUR RANKS WEAKER then Ulquiorra, do not ever turn him into a woman!"

"APPRO GRANTZ YOU BASTARD GET OVER HERE!"

"WHY HARRIBEL?"

"It's a _thank you_ for trying to slip that serum crap into my drink. I know you were trying to turn me into a guy!"

"CRAP HOW'D YOU KNOW?"

"You just confessed it and I saw you…"

"Cero Oscuras!"

*sigh* "Ulquiorra just released… Apporo and Grimmijow are doomed… EVERYONE WEAKER THEN THE CUARTO RANK, HIDE! Or in other words… EVERYONE EXCEPT ME, HIDE!"

Entry 288

"This is Toushiro Hitsugaya behind the camera and-"

"Shush, we're settin' up! Ready with the set up?"

"Yup! I'm just thankful that I am not the one stopping this!"

"Well, Ima Ichimaru Gin and I am presentin' Number...three!"

"You are ugly, you are trashy, you are stupid, you are dumb, and you never learn, you have freaky blue hair, you are a bastard, you should die, you should be removed from the Espada, and Mai hates you guts. Alright, Tia, your turn."

"M'kay. You disgust me, you are horrible, you reek of who knows what, you look pathetic, you look stupid, you are not good looking at all, you can't accept the fact that Ulquiorra is better than you, and I hope you get water logged in a lake with Mai laughing you down as the new Sexta."

"_KISHIRE (grind),_ PANTERA! I SWEAR I'M GONNA KILL YOU TWO!"

"Part A, accomplished. Part B is on its way." Ev'ryone watches the reiatsu fly 'round.

"Neva EVA pulls on his tail in his release."

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH AND BECOME THE TERCERA ESPADA!"

Tia: "Bad-kitty."

Ulquiorra: "Stupid cat, baka-neko."

*pulls on tail…HARD*

Entry 289

"Testin', testin', all righty! We can outta tape… so we had ta get more. Anyways…"

"AHHHHH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"PART B IS COMIN'! EV'RYBODY, INTA APPORO-KUN'S INDESTRUCTABLE ROOMTHINGY MA-BOBBER!"

"_Ute (destroy), _Tiburón."

"_Tozase (enclose), _Murciélago."

"EFF DIS! WE ALL MIGHT DIE!"

"_**Cero Oscuras.**_"

Entry 290

"It couldn't 'ave taken cero oscuras ta hold him back…"

"We were angry."

"…Take Grin…don't hurt me…"

Entry 291

"My name is-OW! CHIKUSO! G-Grimmijow Jaggerjacues and number four…OW! Is…to…never…ever…ever…fight someone…that's…pissed…and…a….higher rank!"

"Apporo-kun, he'll need a third layer of bandages…"

Entry 292

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GRIMMIJOW HERE! AND NUMBER FIVE IS TO 'S TAIL IN HIS RELEASE! AHHHHH!"

"_**Lanza del Relámpago!**_"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Poor Grim-jow… Haha, tail an' tail."

We better set up fer number six.

Entry 293

"My name is Szayel Apporo Grantz. Number six, never take this blue-ish serum. This is why."

Apporo-kun walked over ta da table thingy where Grim-jow wuz passed out on.

*Apporo injects the blue serum thingy ma-jig inta Grim's arm*

"It turns you into the opposite gender."

O.O

Entry 294

"TAKE FIVE EV'RYBODY! Oh, how ya feelin' Grim-jow?"

"Like shit."

"Language."

"I'm pretty sure you understand what I'm saying. AM I SPEAKING FRENCH? CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ME?"

"Shut up, Trash."

"Ow…something's wrong with me…ima go and take a nap^^"

Entry 295

"Chikuso…"

"What is wrong, Tia?"

"Just…come in here and look at this…"

"Wha…? HOLY SHI-"

"Shush, she might hear you!"

"Grimmijow?"

"Wha…?"

"You're a woman."

"Ha-ha, very funny, Halibel."

"Call me Harribel or I will murder you in your beauty sleep."

"You really are a woman now, Trash."

"Wha…? HOLY SHI-"

Entry 297

Eh…

We sent what we got of da film ta Aizen-taichou…

And a letter, with a picture of girl Grim-jow!"

So now, we got girl Ulqui, girl Grim, and Tia.

Ima invitin' Mai-chan ta come back again!

_AN: If you love Ulquiorra or his fights with Grimmijow (verbally), than you should read my newest story Not So Happy Ending._

_It was posted on the day Ulquiorra Cifer dies in the anime._

_*cries*_

_Alrighty._

_Ya can find out what they did in the room…next chapter^^_

_Oh __**READ THIS!**_

If your birthday is coming up, tell me!

And at the end of Chapter 25, I edited it. There's an extra entry^^

So go and read it.

Have a happy summer and weekend!


	27. Entry 298

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 27: Entry 298

Entry 298

Ima make dia an extra extra extra long entry!

Why ya may wonder?

Cuz on mah 300th entry, Ulqui gets outta his dress.

So…

What ta write?

Just hurry up and get there, verdammt! (damn)

Language, Ulqui-chan!

GERMAN.

I know, I know.

HURRY. UP. OR. I . WILL. MURDER. YOU.

Ya lift mah feet off o da ground, ya spin me around!

SHUT. UP.

_Hiya, how is everybody?_

Mai-chan! Help me make dis the longest entry!

_Alright! I wanna write about something really bizarre that happened in Las Noches!_

I will force you to hurry up and write.

It's my diary. My rules. Now, stay and listen.

_Anyways, when I got back there, Apache tried to beat me up, right?"_

I dunno, I wasn't there.

_Good point… Anyways, so after I got back to my room I found out I had left my cell phone in Las Noches! I had so many text messages waiting for me!_

Please hurry up. 

No, let Mai-chan finish her ultra long story.

_Than after all that, I went to Tesla's place since we like to play chess with Ulqui-sama's collection sometime._

WHAT?

_It's a really pretty glass that's so shiny and smooth!_

Verdammt, don't handle them! They are not toys!  


_Funny, me and Tesla played house with them…(AN: I did that when I was younger XD)_

No…no…no, that is just wrong! They are priceless!

_Oh, and Tesla didn't want me to tell you this, but he broke the glass Queen, Bishop, and one Pawn._

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_He got really mad that I beat him…_

That's not a long story at all, Mai-chan…

_I know…Hey, why don't you get Apporo-sama to write? He takes forever!_

NO!

Ya…but we sent him back after you came…

_Darn it…hey, Harribel-sama or Grimmijow._

*a few minutes later*

**Right, this is Grimmijow here.**

_Go on right ahead and write!_

**Why?**

_Cuz' you would annoy Ulquiorra-sama and keep him in a dress longer._

**Good enough. Well, as you all know, I'm a girl. A stupid girl.**

_Girls are not stupid._

**I mean, I look stupid when I'm a girl.**

_You don't look that bad, your hair's pretty wild!  
_

Save me…

**Not until I beat you!  
**

Trash…

**Am not!**

Are too.

**Am not!**

Are too.

**Am not!**

Are too.

**Am not!**

Are too.

**Am not!**

Are too.

_Let's stop…_

Ya…*kick* Grimmy-chan, leave.

**I will. I hate Ulquiorra anyways! Her ugliness is rubbing off on me. *leaves***

Hiya, Tia-chan! 

**Hello.**

Ya get ta write in bold! Ulquiorra gets Underlined and Mai-chan gets italics. I get normal.

**Interesting…**

… (Gin)

…_(Mai)_

…(Ulqui)

…**(Tia)**

…

…

…

…

**(same order)**

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Ain't ya gonna write anything, Tia-chan?

**Should I be…?**

_Well, Harribel-sama __is__ writing the …'s…_

**Yes, actually, Mai is correct.**

_By the way, how's all your fraccion?_

**Noisy.**

_Oh, Ulqui-sama is really quiet._

**Pity, we would have had a good fraccion/Espada relationship. Ulquiorra seems cold.**

_Yeah, he's boring…_

I am right here!

_Oh, sorry, Ulqui-sama… I meant, 'Yeah, __she's__ boring…'_

**Oh, Ulquiorra, Sun-Sun likes you.**

…

_That's odd… does she know that Ulqui-sama is a woman?_

…

**No. That will stay the same.**

Ulqui-chan is a woman now!

Shut. It. Trash.

_Even I'm not one yet!_

**You need to borrow anymore of my…materials?**

…

_Do you, Ulqui-sama…?_

She's waitin' for an answer.

…It does not mean you are waiting for one…

**So do you?**

…Yes…

**Alright, just go into my room and look in the third drawer.**

…I will be right back. Just…shout as loudly as you can if Gin reaches his 300th entry.

_Okay, Ulqui-sama!  
_

*leaves*

**Are you ending this entry now?**

Nope~!

_So what should we talk about now?_

**We could just stop writing…**

Nah, that'd be boring! Cuz there's nottin' ta do.

_Well, I'm gonna go and exercise. _

**Why? You don't really need to.**

_I dunno, maybe I'll be the Decima Espada someday! _

Ha, that's a good one!

…

**That's rude, but I guess it's a bit of a stretch. **

_*leaves*_

TIA.

**Yes, Ulquiorra?**

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

**Tell you what?**

THE CONTENTS OF YOUR THIRD DRAWER.

**You asked for them.**

NOT WHAT WAS ON TOP OF THEM THOUGH.

**You're a girl; I know you're wearing one.**

STILL.

**Don't make such a big deal, even Grimmijow wears one, since he's a she now.**

…But I have more pride than he does…

**Yeah, that's the funny thing. I have more pride than you, you just don't know it, and yet, I don't need to wear one.**

How they defy gravity, I do not know…

**I wear a tight jacket. **

That makes so much sense…

**No I am not helping you design one.**

Verdammt… Oh well…

So…ya enjoyin' yer dress ta'day?

Aizen-sama and Tia personally helped me design it. It's basically my uniform except modified to look more feminine.

**I'm helping Grimmijow with his, too.**

Can we please hurry up and finish this entry and than write a really short one? This entry is already seven pages long!

**It will continue to be longer.**

I am tired. I am going to sleep now. Good night.

**Night, Ulquiorra.**

Ja night night, Ulqui^^

*leaves*

**Gin, he-she will try to take your journal during the night.**

I know, so ima stayin' up and writin! Yer keepin' me company!

…**Fine…**

We'll invite someone from Las Noches.

**Nah, I don't talk to many people. I refuse to invite my fraccion.**

I know who ta invite than!

*an hour and a fight of Gin and Ulquiorra later*

**So…**

Wait, he's comin'

_Hello. *yawn*_

**How in Hueco Mundo were you able to get Starrk to wake up and come and visit?**

I told him that we were in da World o da Livin' and dat we were bored and you were here.

**Hello Starrk, we haven't had a conversation in a while. What's new?**

_Not much, *yawn* the usual. Sleeping, hiding from Lilynette, sleeping, eating, getting forced to go to meetings and wake up._

**Hm, where is Lilynette anyways?**

_Sleeping. Your fraccion are taking care of her._

**They are such great comrades.**

_Yeah, all so loud._

**Did you know Grimmijow speaks French?**

_Figures, everyone can speak another language. Everyone speaks Japanese and English. Aizen speaks Spanish, Ulquiorra speaks German, Grimmijow speaks French, you speak Spanish also, Yammy speaks…Polish somehow (AN: IDK random language XD), Szayel speaks Latin, and I think that's everyone that I remember…_

*yawn* Ain't ya tired?

_*yawn* Yeah…_

***yawn* I guess… Starrk, you're always tired.**

_Yeah, *yawn* but being lazy is a tough life. I sleep all the time and everyone complains how I always sleep and yet I'm the primera!_

Ha-ha! Ima textin' mah pen-pal. He said dat he saw some kid arguin'.

Kid: I wanna McWrap.

Daddy: It's too big for you.

Kid: BUT I WANNA MCWRAP! (They're at McDonalds. I do not on McDonalds)

Daddy: You can't finish by yourself.

*kid has hand by his dad's junk* Kid: DADDY, GET IT FOR ME OR I'LL YANK!

_Hahahahahha, Lilynette did that to me once when we were at breakfast. She wanted some of my bacon and cereal. _

Oh, ya, I remember that!

_Tia, you alright?_

***muffled sounds* yeah…**

_You sure?_

Tia-chan…?

**HAHAHAHHAHAHA! THAT WAS FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!**

Ya! It was hilarious!

_Woah, I never heard or saw you laugh…_

**And I never saw you awake at this hour.**

_Hm…good point._

Now what are we gonna talk 'bout?

***yawn* I am tired. **

_Yeah, I always am. You gonna go to sleep?_

**Nah, I'll keep you boys company. It turns out Gin isn't so annoying and creepy at night.**

Only cuz I get too tired ta smile…

_Hm…we don't care. I'm tired._

***yawn* If you don't mind, I'll…just…lay down…for a minute…**

_It's fine, Tia. G'night._

**Hm…**

She's usin' ya as a pillow ya know…

_I know, I don't really mind._

Ya two would make a cute couple^^

_Ichimaru…I can kill you as the Primera, but Tia and I are just friends._

That's what they all say.

**Eh, what the hell are you guys doing at this hour?**

_Hey, Grimmijow._

**Crap, hi Starrk.**

_Nice…_

**Shut the eff up. I'm a girl! So what?**

_I saw the video you sent Aizen._

**Yeah, so?**

_Damn, you screwed up Tia's room. She killed you if you weren't already dead._

**Coyote…?**

_Hm?_

**Halibel is leaning on you, you know that, right…?**

_Yup._

He said it don't matter.

**You two dating?**

_We're just friends. Like you and Mai._

**So you like her?**

_Oh…No, I mean more like…you and Nnoitra._

**You hate each other?**

_You and Ulquiorra?_

**You try to kill each other?**

_You and…Tia?_

**You have a mini-crush on her?**

_You and…Shawlong?_

**Friends?**

_Yeah._

…

…

_*yawn* I'm going to crash here… *falls asleep next to Tia*_

_*yawn* What's going on here?_

**Pet-sama, you can write in italics. I, Grimmy, will write in bold. Ichimaru writes in regular font.**

_Okay…_

Oi, Pet-sama, what were you doing with Ulqui-kun a while back?

_Oh, there was a giant boulder in our room. I hit my head on it. Ulqui-san did too since he wanted to prove it didn't hurt._

**What about when you said "do this with me"?**

_He was trying to walk in high heels with me!  
_

Oh…

**Oh…**

_What did you think we were doing?_

**Nottin'**

Nottin' at all.

…_Okay! Good night everybody!  
_

Night, Pet-sama.

**I'm crashin' too.**

AHHHHHHH!  


**Oh, hello~ Mai!**

Get off of me your perverted cat.

**But I'm a girl now! We can be friends and change-**

SHUT THE EFF UP! You're not a real girl and I never change in front of anyone!  


**Darn it…**

"Cero!" You pervert!

**I knew you liked Ulquiorra better than me…**

Ulqui-sama is not a pervert.

I edited a video and made him look like one.

Oh yeah, I saw that one! Harribel-sama was showing off her rank and you made him look like he was being a pervert by him showing off his own rank and than…ripping…off…his…shirt…*remembers*

**Stop dreaming! He's a she now!**

I know, but it will wear off soon!

**...**

...Hey, Grim-jow, my penpal's online. Wanna chat?

**Sure…**

_**Heya, I'm Mr. Gumy Be-ar.**_

**Hey.**

_**Grimmy-kitty, ya got a funny name!**_

**WHAT? DON'T CALL ME THAT AGAIN!**

_**Fine, Grimmijow, you have a funny name!  
**_

**YOU WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN YOU LITTLE BASTARD?  
**

_**Okay! Grimmijow, you have a funny name!  
**_

**SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL-**

_**Grimmijow, you have a funny name!**_

**KISHIRE! PANTERA!**

_**TAILLLL!**_

Oh shi-


	28. So Much RANDOMNESS

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

AN: I really started to lose ideas. This chapter was changed a few times until I chose the topic…

Chapter 28: So much RANDOMNESS

AN: couldn't think of a decent chapter name XD

Entry 299

_Grimmijow! You didn't have to cero the phone!_

Now ya owe me a new phone!

**I don't care, have mine, it's the same kind and color.**

Nah, my was a darker blue.

PLEASE HURRY UP AND GET TO THE 300th ENTRY.

Smile than^^

No.

_Awww, come on! Smile, Ulqui-sama! I'll do it with you! *smiles*_

**Ha, come on, **_**Ulqui**_**! *smiles***

*already smiling*

…*half smile that you can't even barely see*

_Ulqui-sama! Come on! Smile!_

**Yeah, think happy thoughts! *thinks of milk, cat nip, and Mai***

_*thinks of laughing at Grimmijow as the new Sexta, Ulquiorra smiling like an idiot, and Harribel as a clown* (AN: XD RANDOM)_

*thinks of his new bunny sticker and every Espada in a clown suit*

I think these so called happy thoughts, I just do not show tit.

_**SMILE!**_

No.

What if I said I'll end the entry?

…Fine…

…

…

…

We're waitin'…

*smiles*

_YEAH! Good job, Ulqui-sama!_

***snaps a picture***

TO. THE. NEXT. ENTRY. _**NOW.**_

Entry 300

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"HOLY FU-"

O.O

"Desprete, ain't cha?"

"YES."

"PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, ULQUI-SAMA! Grimmijow and I may be a girl, but PUT SOME FREAKIN' CLOTHES ON."

"Really desperate, ain't'cha?"

"Here, put some clothes on! Mai's right."

"EFF NO! That is a skirt! I refuse to wear another one! Get me my Espada uniform!"

"The girl or guy version?"

"What do you think?"

"…Girl it is! Be right back!"

"…"

"PUT SOME EFFIN CLOTHES ON, ULQUIORRA!"

*Tia forces Ulquiorra into a white dress*

"Tia, I do not wish to be in a dress!"

"You're still a girl. So is Grimmijow."

"Um…Halibel?"

"Yes, Grimmijow?"

"There's…"

"Crap, let's see… Go into my room and look in my third drawer. Don't be perverted about it, just do it."

"Dear, Kami-sama… I almost feel sorry for Grimmijow."

Entry 301

Hm…

Ima startin' ta have no idea what to write about in my diary…

Anyways, we're back in Las Noches.

Aizen-taichou's startin' the Boss Contest fer real now!

Entry 302

*yawn* It takes so long fer ev'ryone ta write dere papers and hand 'em in.

Here we go…

Ev'ryone's gonna write it in mah diary!

Entry 303

Dear Aizen-sama. _And Gin!_

My name is Coyote Starrk and I'm the Primera Espada. (We have to say our names and ranks, according to Aizen. I don't get why, he calls us his children. Parents are supposed to know their children's names.)

_And my name is Lilynette Gingerback._

Why I want to win: I don't really have a reason… I'm already the Primera, so I can boss everyone around anyways… _I wanna win cuz everyone treats me like a fraccion! _You are a fraccion… _No I'm not! You're just jealous! _Why would I be? You're annoying to everyone, and I'M the Primera.

Why I should win: I should win cuz I'm the Primera Espada. _I should win cuz I'm also the Primera. Under privileged Arrancar should win! I know this is mostly for Espada only…but that doesn't mean Yammy should win at all!_

If I win I would…: Sleep. No one can bother me and I would let Lilynette bother them if I am disturbed. So… I don't really care… I do that already… _I would make everyone work for me! I would make Nnoitra build me a pretty throne, make Szayel Apporo sew me a pretty-ish dress that's comfortable, and than I wold sit on the throne and boss everyone for a week! _And I thought you hated dresses… _But I'm gonna be a Queen, so I have to wear a pretty dress! Oh, I would make you make me a crown too!_ I better not lose sleep…_ Hehehe! Yeah, you will^^_

Thank you for reading this. _I hope you let me win!_

Starrk Coyote. _And Lilynette Gingerback!_

Entry 304

Dear, Aizen.

I am Barragan Luisenbard! _Segunda_ Espada! Why I am not the first is an insult! I was the King of Hueco Mundo!

Why I want to win: It is a disgrace that I am not the Primera. I want to win because than I will be restored on the throne…! For a week…

Why I should win (which I will) I am the King of Hueco Mundo! That is a plenty good reason right there!

What I shall do if I win: What I do if I was king! Destroy the roof of the dome because the sky of Hueco Mundo is my ceiling!

Barragan Luisenard, his highness the King!

Entry 305

I am the Tercera Espada (I learned from my mistake, tercera instead of tres), Tia Harribel. Also, I am the only female Espada.

Why I would like to win: I don't like to be rude, but I have to say… the other Espada are idiots and perverts and Ulquiorra. I would like to win so I will get a break. A break from always having to put up with everyone. They stare at me as if I am a Shinigami that waltzed in and had tea with us whenever I pull down my collar partly to eat. This is why you never see me often eating at Espada Dinners and Luncheons anymore.

Why I should win: I am the only female Espada. Do I not deserve a break? I am not your most loyal Espada, (because Ulquiorra is) but I am you second most loyal. Isn't that good enough?

What I would do if I were to win: Dip that sexist bastard Nnoitra Jiruga into a pot of hot, steamy, boiling cheese. I would also push Grimmijow into the pool I have in my palace. (I just realized… Everyone calls our places headquarters, but we really call it our palaces…) I would make Ulquiorra smile (even though, being the tercera, I can already boss almost everyone around) I would just relax and have a nice chat with Starrk while Barragan did my paperwork.

I would be grateful if I won. Thank you, Aizen-sama for reading this. If you are not, than Ichimaru, don't make fun of people. It's not polite.

~ Tercera Espada, Tia Harribel.

Entry 306

Dear, Aizen-sama,

As you know, I am Ulquiorra Cifer, Cuarto Espada in your army.

Why I would like to win: I do not really want to win… Being Cuarto, I already have command over most Arrancar. I have no grudge against Tia, Barragan, or Starrk.

Why I should win: If I must try and compete, my reasoning would be that I am your most loyal Espada.

What I would do if I won: … I don't really know…

Sincerely, your Cuarto Espada,

-Ulquiorra Cifer

Entry 307

Dear, _Aizen-sama_,

You should know who I am. I'm Nnoitra Jiruga, the strongest Espada! I am the Quinto Espada, as you should know.

I want to win cuz: Males should dominate over females. I am all for that.

I should win cuz: I should win just…because…

If I won: I would make everyone my slaves! Oh…and probably embarrass Grimmijow, Ulquiorra, Harribel, and…Starrk.

From Nnoitra Jiruga

Entry 308

Dear Aizen…-sama

I'm Grimmijow Jaggerjacues, the Sexta Espada. Remember me? You blasted me with your reiatsu in front of everyone during a meeting once.

I wanna win cuz: I never get a freakin' break! THE TERCERA AND CUARTO BASTARD AND BITCH ATTACKED ME YESTERDAY! Language, Sexta. _Telling on us, eh? _WHY THE HECK ARE YOU WRITING ON MY PAPER? This is Gin's journal. _He calls it a diary. Strange, isn't he? _He can read this later you know… _Yes, but we are in the top four. _Meaning we go to private meetings and he is not allowed to bother us too much. Crap.

I should win cuz: I never get a break. _You get a break all the time! I literally have to watch out for you guys when I walk to my palace! _You always bother me and yet you are not dead yet, trash. That is what I call a break or whatever you speak of. _Yeah! You bother the top four all the time! Be happy you aren't dead! And stop stealing my hakamas! _

If I won, I would: Force Mai to go on a real date with me, force Ulquiorra to bow down and serve me, and Halibel to- _Harribel! Harribel! My name is Harribel, not Halibel! Kami, just call me Tia-sama or something! _Tia, he will never learn. _And why do you call me Tia? Lower ranks call me Harribel unless I give them permission. _I don't care, at the private meetings we're all friends. _That's what Aizen-sama said…_

Eff dis, just let me win…

-Grimmijow Jaggerjacues

Entry 309

DearAizen-sama

,SeptimaEspadais my rank and I like to write very fast so I do not bother with spaces.

.

.

, .

AIZEN-SAMA WILL RULE FOREVER!

-Zommari Leroux

Entry 310

Dear, Aizen-sama,

I am the Octova Espada, Szayel Aporro Grantz! (Also known as the scientist, pinky, pink, freak, fraccion eater, and the smart one)

I would like to win: because I will be able to get more help with my medical researches!

I should win: because I am the smartest Espada! (Maybe other than Harribel or Ulquiorra, but that's not the point…)

If I were to win: than I would have everyone help me with my researches, projects, papers, experiments and so much more in science! It would be such a fun week!

Thank you for everything,

-Szayel Apporo

Entry 311

**We are Arron**niero. We are the Novena Espada.

**We would like to win because **we are a low ranked Espada that deserves more appreciation. **You took those words from Lilynette-sama…**

We should win because **we are lower ranked and deserves more recognition. **I just said that you dummy. **Shut up. **No you shut up. **You are embarrassing me in front of Aizen-sama! **This is Ichimaru-sama's journal! **HE'S grading this thing?** Yeah…** Ichimaru…you suck, we hate you. **No we don't, just he does. **Shut up Niero. **You shut up, Arron.

If we were to win, we will have everyone **help us paint the whole of Las Noches a beautiful bright white that will annoy Soul Society. **Could I get a nose job from Szayel Apporo? **We barely have a nose idiot.** Good point…can I get a hair cut? **We don't have hair you idiot.**

-**Arron**niero

Entry 312

Dear Aizen**-sama**

Yo! This is Yammy Riyalago, Decima Espada! (Also the Cero Espada!)

I wanna win cuz I'm the Decima and everyone has too much pride to fight me!

I should win cuz I get to be two different ranks!

If I win I would…have everyone make me the biggest sandwich in Hueco Mundo, Soul Society, AND the World of the Living! *drool stains are on this page…ew*

-YAMMY RIYALAGO!

Entry 313

"GRIMMIJOW! LOOK AT THIS." Mai-chan yelled… She doesn't usually yell… That can't be good…

"Yeah?"

"You know how you 'put the sex in Sexta?' Well, I was listening to you sing BrEaK on YouTube, and-"

"AIZEN ACTUALLY RECORDED THAT?"

"Yes, Trash, why do you think we went to a recording studio?"

"Anyways… I found another one of your fangirls…or fanboys… and they said 'Sexta Espada? More like SMEXTA ESPADA!"

"Thanks, Mai, I think that too!"

"Wait, wha-? I DIDN'T SAY THAT! Your fangirl did!"

"Sure~ its fine if you like me^^"

"I DON'T."

"Whatever you say~" (bit OOC? XD)

Entry 314 (AN: 313 was a bit of a filler moment XD)

*yawn* (AN: if you yawned, than say I YAWNED in a review. I wanna see how many people yawn when they see they word yawn in this fic XD)

Gettin' tired o lookin' at da Boss Contest…

So you readers decide…

Who should win?

Da first Espada that gets 3 votes will win.

Happy Votin'! ^^

Entry 315 (AN: got this idea from another comment on YouTube XD)

*sigh* Ulquiorra had another chat with Pet-sama.

"If I tore open you chest, would I be able to see it?"

*slaps* "No! I never knew you were a pervert, Ulqui-san! You're a girl!"

"…? *realization hits* NO. I meant your heart, Trash!"

"Oh…well… Than…. Yeah, actually…"

"It's real? In your chest?"

"If you wanna see it so bad, have Szayel Apporo do an X-ray…"

"I cannot believe it is real! And in ones chest!"

That's when Grim-jow walked by. (He is still a she)

"What the heck are they talking about…?"

Entry 316

"Where is the heart located?"

"In your chest."

"Where in one's chest?"

"You know where you Espada tattoo is?"

"…Yes…"

"Right about there^^"

"A HEART IS IN THE SHAPE OF MY 4?"

"No! I never said that!"

Entry 317

Pet-sama got sick o Ulqui' askin' 'bout da heart…

So she came ta me…

"Gin…what is the shape of a heart?"

"I dunno actually…but I know the shape of the shape heart^^"

"Wha…?"

"Here^^" *draws a heart on a notepad that I got in my pocket*

"Oh… I ate a cookie in that shape once… I didn't realize that Kurosaki was right when he said that was the heart…"

(AN: If you want to see the picture, than just tell me in a review and I'll send it. When they had the best bout poll, top…4 fights had the characters standing around and eating cookie hearts with a picture of their fights with Ichigo nearby. LOL Ulqui was just starin' at his)

"Was it good?"

"What was?"

"Da heart cookie…"

"Oh…Yes, actually, it was quite tasty. Who knew that the pink and red stuff on it was sugary?"

"It's called frostin' an' sprinkles…"

Entry 318

"Gin…"

"Ya, Aizen-taichou?"

"May I see your journal?"

"Fer da boss contest?"

"No, for finding out your true inner thoughts than using them against you."

"…Dat's mean, Aizen-taichou…"

"I was being sarcastic…Gin."

"Ohhhhh! Good one!"

"Thank you, now…Please hand me your journal…for the boss contest."

"Hm…this entry ain't very funny…"

"Please stop writing in your journal and just hand it to me…"

"Wait…just writin' what I'm sayin' and finishin' mah sentence…and….done!"

*hands Aizen-taichou mah diary*

Bai-bai, Diary-kun!

_AN: I'M GOING TO ADVENTURE LAND TOMORROW WITH MY SAFETY PATROL! YEAHHH! I'll be bringing my lap top and typing on a charter bus._

_I' gonna wake up extra early so I can watch the newest Bleach episode tomorrow, than on the bus, I'll fix Not So Happy Ending._

_YES I'M CONTINUEING IT. Expect it to be updated tomorrow or Wednesday. *crosses fingers that everything will go right*_


	29. Aizen in Gin's Diary

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 29: Aizen in Gin's Diary

Entry 319

Hm…

*takes in the feeling of writing in someone else's journal*

Quite nice…

No wonder everyone writes in here…

Entry 320

Who should win this Boss Contest?

Quite hard to decide…

I ask that you "readers" "review" and vote for one of my Espada.

First one to get three votes win.

If I voted, I vote Ulquiorra…or Tia…

Not Grimmijow.

Of course.

Not Grimmijow.

Entry 321

"Barragan…"

"Yeah, Aizen…-sama?"

"Have you seen Charlotte?"

"Last time I saw him, he was flirting with himself in the mirror. Quite disturbing…"

"Oh… I think I saw Grimmijow do that once…"

"Wasn't he pretending that he was talking to Ulquiorra's sister?"

"Yes…yes he was actually…"

Entry 322

Hm… I will be keeping Gin's journal-diary until the Boss Contest is over…

Now that I think about it… it's more like Primera For A Week Contest…

No wonder Starrk doesn't want to win!

Entry 323

Guess what I heard from Barragan's training today…

"BEAUTIFUL CHARLOTTE CUUHLHOURNE'S FINAL HOLY WONDERFUL PRETTY SUPER MAGNUM SEXY SEXY GLAMOUROUS CERO!"

"Dammit, Charlotte! Make it shorter! Findor and Ggio could've killed you!"

"They wouldn't. I'm too BEAUTIFUL!"

Entry 324

Hm…

Since when did Grimmijow start liking that Mai girl?

*reads back*

Oh…for a while apparently…

I should humiliate him about it later…

Entry 325

"Grimmijow…?"

"Yeah, Aizen…-sama?"

"Since when did you like Mai Cifer?"

"Since about the third chapter…"

"What?"

"…"

Entry 326

Hm… So far…we have one voter…

"I vote for Ulqui" they say.

Where the heck did they get that name?

Entry 327

"-…"

"Yes…Gin?"

"I'm !"

"Go find someone to bother."

"I'm here ain't I?"

"Go bother Grimmijow."

"He's in his room."

"Go bother…Starrk."

"He's sleeping."

"Go bother Tia."

"She said once 'If ya butt inta a lady's private life, ya'll get hurt.' I don't wanna get hurt."

"Go bother Ulquiorra."

"He'll Cero Oscuras me in da eyes…again."

"Barragan?"

"He's with Apporo-kun gettin' his weekly check-up."

"Nnoitra?"

"He's still talkin' ta dat picture of Neliel he has in his room."

"Zommari, Aaroniero, or Yammy?"

"On a mission, arguin' with each other, and eatin'."

"…Kaname and Wonderwiece?"

"Tousen would just get that lil Wonderwiece ta drool on me."

"Gin…?"

"Ya?" 

"Your journal is very fun to write in."

"…M'kay."

Entry 328

Hm…looks like Hitsugaya and Grimmijow are having a fight…

While having a very fast race in continuous sonido/shunpo.

"SHUNPO!" 

"SONIDO!"

"SHUNPO!" 

"SONIDO!"

"SHUNPO!" 

"SONIDO!"

"SHUNPO IS MUCH BETTER YOU STUPID HOLLOW!"

"SONIDO IS FASTER YOU LIL SHINIGAMI!"

"AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE BLE HAIR, FREAK!"

"IT'S NATURAL! I DON'T GOT WHITE HAIRED, OLDIE!"

"SHUT UP!" 

"YOU SHUT UP!"

Entry 329

Remember a while back when I said there will be a surprise when Gin reaches his 500th entry?

Yes, I still remember.

No I will not tell you.

And something weird… Mai Cifer came up to me one day and told me, "Only NinjaCats knows the top secret."

Odd… Che, that's a funny name though^^

Entry 330

"Ow! Grimmijow, get off of me!"

"I can't! Ulquiorra's on me!"

"Ulqui-sama, get off of us!"

"I'm male again…" *rejoices*

"Could you still get off of me?"

"I cannot. Tia is on top of me."

"I can't get up cause this is a freakin' small room!"

…Why are there four arrancar in my closet?

No matter, I'll just go to sleep now.

Good night, Gin's Diary.


	30. Not So Pleasent Surprises

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 30: Not So Pleasant Surprises

AN: NinjaCats is helpin' me write this one *yawn* we're on a charter bus right now… Quite nice…

READ THIS: I ACCIDENETLY POSTED CHAPTER 31 HERE INSTEAD OF THIS. THIS IS THE READ CHAPTER 30!

Entry 331

"…Why are you in my closet right now…?"

"AIZEN-SAMA, GUESS WHAT?"

"What…?"

"I AM MALE AGAIN!"

"Oh…that's…lovely…"

"Yes, yes it is^^"

"GRIMMIJOW YOU EFFIN BASTARD!"

"What did you do now, Grimmijow?"

"I DIDN'T DO IT!"

"I'm pretty sure it wasn't Mai or Ulquiorra that just CUT ONE OF MY FREAKIN' BRAID LOCKS OFF!"

"Ohhh, you are so dead, Grimmijow."

"DAMN RIGHT HE IS!"

Entry 332

"_Ute, __**TIBURON!**_"

Mai: "EFF YOU GRIMMIJOW, NOW WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

Grimmijow: "I DIDN'T DO IT I SWEAR!"

Ulquiorra "Uh-oh…"

Tia, Mai, Grimmijow: "What…?"

Ulquiorra: "…"

Everyone else: "…"

*realization hits everyone else like four tons of pianos* (PS This is still Aizen writing.)

Tia: "I SWEAR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ULQUIORRA CIFER!"

Ulquiorra: "IT WAS AN ACCIDIENT I SWEAR!"

Tia: "I'M CUTTING YOUR HAIR FOR THIS!"

Ulquiorra: "NOOOOOOOOoooooooooo HELP ME YOU TRASHY SEXTA!"

*Mai and Grimmijow imagining Ulquiorra bald*

"…"

"…"

"HELP ME DAMMIT!"

"…!"

Entry 333

We got out of the closet!

**What were you doing in there anyways, Mai Cifer?**

…We were trying to find another dress for Grimmijow…

**What made you think I had dresses in there…?**

Charlotte said he got his dresses from you…

**YOU CANNOT PROVE ANYTHING.**

_Hello~  
_

HOLY SHI-

**Hello…Charlotte…**

MY FREAKIN' EYES!

_I came for my weekly dress pick-up~!_

…

MY EYES- So… I just proved that you DO give Charlotte dresses!

*out in the hallway…*

Tia: What are you doing?

Grimmijow: I just bribed Charlotte to walk in there and ask Aizen for a dress.

Tia: How…?

Grimmijow: I gave him your hair lock thing that Ulquiorra cut off.

Tia: …

Grimmijow: *realization hits me like 6 tons of cat nip*

Tia: GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID CAT!

Entry 334 (_AN: OMFG! WE JUST GOT BACK FROM ADVENTURELAND! Still on the Charter Bus… Still quite nice^^ OMFG THAT WAS SO FUUUN! Right, Ninjacats-chan? _CHAA! _She means yeah in Ninja-cat speak. I might have almost hurled but I DIDN'T! WOOOO! *high fives everyone*_

No one won the boss contest yet…

Here are the scores so far…

Votes:

Ulquiorra 1

Tia Harribel 1

Starrk 1

Ha, Ulquiorra is winning!

_So is Harribel-sama and Starrk-sama…_

No matter.

Entry 335

Listen to what I heard today… (This is Tia Harribel writing)

"Grimmijow…"

"Huh? Oh, hi Ulquiorra."

"…What are you doing?"

"Writing. You said that you never would see the day that I wrote something more than three words, but HERE I AM!"

"…I meant on paper…What are you writing on the wall?"

*Ulquiorra reads aloud*

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! I write ona wull! Tak DAT Society!"

*Grimmijow looks proud*

"You have many grammar and spelling mistakes...And…"

*Takes marker and crosses something out, re-writing*

*Grimmijow reading* "HAHAHAHAHA! I write ona wull! Tak DAT *society crossed out* Las Noches?"

"We are not in the Soul Society, Trash."

"Use your IMAGINATION, Ulquiorra!"


	31. Hurl

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 31: Hurl

READ THIS: I ACCIDEIENTLY POSTED THIS AS CHAPTER 30. THIS IS ACTUALLY CHAPTER 31!

Entry 336

I got mah diary back^^

Anyways, Aizen-taichou said we get ta go ta da World o da Livin'.

Starrk, Grim-jow (who's still girl), Ulqui-orra, Mai-chan, Tia-chan, and me are goin'^^

We're goin' ta "AdventureLand" *_AN: I don't own Adventure Land. BUT IT IS FREAKIN' FUN_

Entry 337

Mai-chan: "!"

Starrk: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Grim-jow "HOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIII-"

Ulquiorra: "SHUT UP GRIMMIJOW WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE."

Tia: "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME, ICHIMARU?"

Me: "GRIIIIIIN DID IT!"

Starrk: "GONNA PUKE!"

Ulquiorra: "Chikuso, I think I might as well…"

Tia: "ICHIMARU YOU ARE _NEVER_ ALLOWED TO OPPERTAE A GARAGANTA AGAIN!"

Grim-jow: " YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Entry 337

We're here at Adventure Land!

Everyone says dat da rides can't be as scary as my Garganta skills.

I should make it a roller coaster!

Entry 338

We went on somethin' called da Merry-Go-Around.

Starrk seemed ta enjoy it…

Next we went on da "Ferris Wheel."

Grimmijow seemed like he was 'bout ta jump out o it…

After dat, we went on some flippy-upside downy- thingy ma-jig…

Da Cifers screamed pretty loud…

At least… I THINK that was Mai-chan and Ulquiorra…

Entry 339 *_AN: Me and NinjaCats are writing this on the charter bus… it's basically how our day went, except with…Gin-affects…_

Next we went on da teacup-thingy ma-bobers…

They didn't LOOK like our tea cups…

If they were, then Aizen-taichou wouldn't like dat very much…

Entry 340

Next we went on da 'Shootin' Star.

Ya shoulda seen Starrk's face when da ride started…

Entry 341

Haha! WATER RAFTS!

Tia-chan had so much fun! 

It scared us all…

Entry 342

"LUNCH TIME!"

"Baka, we're right next to you. No need to scream."

"WOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"IT'S A FREAKIN' LUNCH. SHUT. UP."

"What…are those things?"

"I believe they're called 'tiny fish', Ulquiorra."

"Yummm…like tuna?" *_AN: That was Grimmijow if you couldn't figure who said that XD_

"You mean…like a smaller version of you, Tia?"

*a few seconds later*

"W-why are you getting out of your gigai…?"

"_Ute, __**Tiburon**_."

"Damn, yer so screwed, Ulquiorra!"

Entry 343

After Tia-chan made Ulquiorra look like an idiot runnin' 'round da park yellin' at 'nottin', we all went on da Dragon (a roller coaster).

*after da ride*

Starrk: "I'M GONNA HURL!"

Mai-chan : "Ugh…I feel sick…"

Ulquiorra: "Never…ever…_ever_ again…am…I going on that trashy contraption…"

Tia-chan: "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME! LET'S GO AGAIN!"

Grimmijow: "YEAHHHHHH!"

Mai-chan: "H-how…Grimmijow…are you able to go on that for the fifth time…and not…puke?"

Grimmijow: "I gotta stomach of steel!"

Tia-chan : "Or because you don't really have a stomach, since your hollow hole is there…"

Grimmijow: "Whatever…anyways…THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME! LET'S GO AGAIN!"

Entry 344

"YEAH! I WON! Alright, Mai, you can have the prize, pick one."

"Hm…how about…that cute lil' plush yorkie!"

_***Grimmijow's FLASHBACK***_

"Starrk, Halibel sent me to get you."

"Ugh…go away! I wanna sleep! I'm freakin' tired…"

"Come ON! I have better things to do! Get up, you lazy, no good, good for nothing Primera!"

"…Sick him, Lady Cuddle-butts."

"What…?"

"She's my yorkie…"

"Che, like a yorkie can- OW! GET OFF YOU STUPID DOG!"

"Lady Cuddle-Butts is NOT stupid!"

"OUCH! MAKE YOUR DOG STOP, DAMMIT!"

*END FLASHBACK*

"How about that plush kitty?"

"No…I'm allergic to cats…"

_AN: I WILL STOP HERE. Sorry, there is more to this, but I just got an idea that can't wait! _

_See ya next chapter!_

_AND OMFG! I HAVE 88 WHOLE FREAKIN' REVIEWS! WOOOOOOO! THANK YOU EVERYONE!_

_WE ALL GIVE YOU GLOMPS! 'Cept Ulquiorra. He refuses._

_Gin: Ja bai bai for now, minna-chan~ ^^_


	32. Birthday

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 32: Birthday

Entry 345

Aizen-taichou pulled us outta Adventure Land before we could have any more fun…

*in da meetin' room*

"On the 29th of May…Something special happened."

"You finally hit first base with Ulquiorra?"

"Shut up, Nnoitra, I am not gay."

"Yeah, you never are… Szayel gay or happy gay…"

"ANYWAYS… Guess what happened?"

"I get a promotion?"

"No, Grimmijow."

"What was it, Aizen-sama?"

"My birthday!"

"So…you are one year closer to death…? How…do we celebrate such a thing?"

Entry 346

Aizen-taichou wanted us ta all do something special fer his late birthday…

Ima gonna get him a buncha cool smiley neon glow in da dark balloons!

Entry 347

Yo, Grimmijow here. It's pretty stupid that Aizen told us to get him a birthday present.

So, I'm gonna cook a fish dinner. My specialty!

It's my turn for kitchen duty anyways… And I'm gonna actually cook for once.

"Rock a by fishies, in the frying pan. When I turn this on, you will burn. After that, I'll cook you real good. In the end, you'll be everyone's food!"

That song always helps me cook the fish!

Entry 348

Wow…

Gettin' balloons are hard…there's so many…

Anyways, Yammy is givin' Aizen-taichou a plush burger.

Aaronniero is givin' him a pickle jar. Nope it don't got pickles in it. It got buttons in it!

Zommari is bakin' him a cake. With da help of Szayel Apporo-kun…

Entry 349

"Happy birthday, Aizen.

What I gave you is a pen!

The day that you were born,

Is the day roses got thorns.

Happy Birthday Aizen-sama,

You are better than Obama!" (AN: Did I spell it right?)

Tousen-san wrote dat for Aizen-taichou's birthday! Who da heck is Obama? It's to da theme of Twinkle Twinkle Lil' Star! 

But more importantly!

He took dat pen from me!

Entry 350

HALF WAY TA…700!

Entry 351

"Whaddya doin' fer Aizen-taichou's birthday, Nnoitra?"

"Che, I'm giving him a tea cup."

"Why?"

"I dunno… I went ta the World of the Living once and compared to them, our teacups look like mugs with no lid. So I gave him one that looks like a Living tea cup!"

"Oh ya! I heard someone named Cinderella used one that looks like those!"

Entry 352

"What are YOU doin' fer Aizen-taichou's birthday, Barragan?"

"I'm giving him a book."

"…about…?"

"Life. Life before he came along. All the fun times I had when I spilt my army in two and made them fight to the death!"

Entry 353

"STARRK! WHADDYA DOING FER AIZEN-TAICHOU'S BIRTHDAY!"

"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep… I bought him a bunch of pillows and a new ultra comfortable bed…"

"STARRK! WHY THE HELL DID YOU USE MY CREDIT CARD?"

"Crap…How does Tia find these things out?"

Entry 354

Now where's Ulquiorra and Tia…? Oh… I wonder why dere outside o da dome…

"Ulquiorra…Tia, whatddya gonna do fer Aizen-taichou's birthday?"

"You see this rock?"

"Ya…its da famous rock o hollow masks dat combined ta'gether. I think Grimmijow and Barragan killed most of 'em…"

"Exactly. We are going to carve a statue out of it."

"Dat's HUGE, Tia-chan! It's gonna take forever!"

"Not exactly. Our reiatsu might destroy a good part of it. We will carve the rest for Aizen-sama."

"Why didn't ya get Zommari ta help ya? He's pretty loyal…"

"…He wanted to make a statue of Aizen-sama killing a Shinigami…in a brutal way…"

"Can I help ya carve da statue?"

"Okay…but don't cut anything with out us telling you to... We practiced on some giant boulder we found and SOMEONE cut off the head."

"Tia, I TOLD you! That was an accident! At least I wasn't the one that carved on something…too big…"

"Shut up."

"Why should I?"

"I'm a higher rank and-"

"…can boss me around…"

"Wowie…yer like brother and sister…"

Entry 355

"_Ute, __**Tiburon.**_"

"_Tozase, __**Murcielago.**_"

"_Ikorose (Shoot ta' kill), __**Shinso!**_"

"Ola Azul!"

"Lanza del Ralampago."

"Ne, that looks pretty good so far!"

"That's only his leg…"

"I'll do the waist and the uniform design, Ulquiorra, you finish up the legs and boots, Ichimaru, you… get rid of the space between his legs."

"M'kay^^"

*a while later*

"ICHIMARU! DON'T! THAT GOING TO BE HIS ZANPAKTOU!"

"Why are you carving a smiling fox into it?"

"That's me, Ulquiorra!"

Entry 356

Me: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

Tia-chan: "Happy birthday to you…"

Ulquiorra: "Happy birthday, dear Aizen-sama…"

Grimmijow: "Happy birthday to you…"

"CUT THE CAKE!" yelled Apporo-kun.

"OPEN MY PRESENT!" yelled Tousen.

Aizen-taichou decided ta look at our presents first^^ He was really happy about the statue. It turned out nice^^

When he cut da cake, Chharlotte jumped outta it…*shudders with ev'ryone else*

But after dat… he started floatin' away when he grabbed mah balloons…

Dat ain't good…

And what happened tad a kitchen? It don't look too good either…

_AN: WHO WILL BE MY 100__th__ REVIEWER? THE 100__th__ – 105__th__ REVIEWES WILL BE MENTIONED FOR THE HECK OF IT!_

_THANK YOU EVERYBODY WHO REVIEWED!_

_For now…_

Harribel: Arrancar Encyclopedia…

Gin: Ta'day, Ima gonna show ya what happened while we were outside carvin' da statue^^

*screen shows Grimmijow and Starrk in the kitchen, taking a nap together*

Starrk: *yawn* "Ne, Grimmijow, what's that smell?"

Grimmijow: "*yawn* I dunno…ignore it for- OH MY BLOTS! MY FISH DINNER!"

Starrk: "FIRE! WHAT DO WE DO?"

Lilynette: "Starrk, go and get Harribel!"

Grimmijow & Starrk: "WHY?" *realization crashed onto them a few seconds later, like the fire burning the stove…*

*A SECOND OR TWO LATER*

Harribel: "You want me to do what?"

Starrk: "PLEASE! I'll do anything!"

Harribel: "…Fine. Ola Azul!"

Grimmijow: "Wow that was close… Hey, my fish is nicely cooked!"


	33. Floating

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 33: Floating

Entry 357

I grabbed Gin's journal before I started floating up…

It is quite nice up here.

Uh-oh…

*dust and sand are all over the page*

Sorry, I just broke through the dome of Las Noches.

These balloons are quite tough.

Maybe even tougher than Ulquiorra…

Entry 358

Do you know how hard it is to write while you are floating up in the air by balloons?

Quite hard.

At least I have some light…

I should thank Gin later for getting me the glow-in-the-dark ones…

The smiley faces bring a little company…

Entry 359

"_Think, of the world. Imi nado nai to iu no ni soko ni. Think, of our world, Imi wa nai to shiru koto ni sura, tama ni. Sugiru kudaranai kyoumi. Mata juujikon da._"

*sigh* I remember when I forced a few of my Espada to sing.

Who knew Ulquiorra could sing so well?

Here is the translation to what I just sang (I'm getting extremely bored floating around, o I sing Our WORLD, which Ulquiorra sang.)

Thinks of the world, despite knowing there is no meaning to be found. Thinks of our world. It is meaningless to instigate it. Ignoring trivial things will entrap you.

SO BORED…

Oh…look…

I see Las Noches from here…

Who is that on the dome…?

Ulquiorra?

Oh yes… I remember… he has weekly flights.

I do believe he takes Gin along…

I'm pretty sure he dropped him from the top of the dome once…

Entry 360

FEEL PITY FOR ME.

Because I am dying of boredom.

Don't tell any shinigami or Grimmijow that I am dying of boredom.

Why?

Because they want me to die.

Entry 361

Fine, don't give your pity.

I am the next King of Everyone and Everything anyways.

I don't need your pity.

But I would like your company.

It's boring up here…

Entry 362

"Hiya, Aizen-taichou^^"

"Oh, hello Gin! Ulquiorra how is your weekly flight?"

"Fine…"

"Will one of you please get me down?"

"M'kay^^ Ulquiorra, ya get da balloons after I cut da strings^^"

"…"

"_Ikorose (Shoot ta' kill) __**Shinso!**_"

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"I have the balloons."

"We better go an' get Aizen-taichou, LET'S GO ULQUIORRA!"

"Uh-oh…"

"Wha…?"

"My resurrection has a time limit for weekly flights…"

"So we're gonna fall…? How much time do we- AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_Well, that's it for this chapter^^_

_And now…_

Nnoitra: Arrancar Encyclopedia!

Grimmijow: Well…uh…since Ichimaru isn't here…I'll show ya what Nnoitra does when Aizen isn't around!

Nnoitra: YEAHH! Ulquiorra ain't here!

Grimmijow: We haven't seen you around a lot. What have ya been doing?

Nnoitra: Oh, the usual…

*On the screen*

*shows Nnoitra sleeping and drooling

*Nnoitra eating like a pig

*Nnoitra running away than getting beat up by Harribel

*Nnoitra at Szayel Apporo's getting bandaged up

*Nnoitra tanning under the artificial sun

*Nnoitra playing chess with Tesla, using Ulquiorra's set

*Nnoitra having a wild party, Grimmijow being drunk and passed out on the table…

*Nnoitra pulling the feather and shaving cream trick on Starrk

*Nnoitra getting hunted down and being beaten up by Starrk

*Nnoitra once again at Szayel Apporo's getting bandaged up

*Getting beat up by Tia Harribel again for messing up her room

*Back at Szayel Apporo's

*Getting beat up by him too, for interrupting his busy schedule

Nnoitra (screen is now paused): I TOLD YOU TO TAKE OUT THOSE PARTS!

AN: _pardon the language for a moment FUCK YEAH I GOT 100 REVIEW! EVERYONE HERE *even Ulquiorra* GLOMPS YOU ALL! _

MY 100th AND 99th REVIEWER IS THE LOVELY APPLEDOODLE-CHAN!


	34. Lost n Scared

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 34: Lost n Scared

Entry 363

We just landed…

Ulquiorra's sleepin'

If only I had shaving cream…

Entry 364

"_Doko e yukitai? Nan ni naritai? Aisareru koto wa kowai dake? Mou chotto dake. Tsukamattotte mo. Yokatta no ni zannen ya. Shinjirannai._"

*sigh*

I remember when Ran-chan n' I sang Fuyu no Hanabi…

I miss 'er…

(AN: Sorry, I don't have the translation to the song right now. I don't have connection right now either so I can't look it up…)

Oh look… Ulquiorra looks like he's havin' a seizure!

Entry 365

DISNEY! 3-6-5!

Entry 366

Haha…random entry…

Anyways…

"ULQUI-ORRA! ARE YA ALRIGHT?"

"Ngh…be quiet, Gin…"

"Why?"

"I just had a horrible nightmare."

"Well, whenever ya day dream or dream it's a night dream/ night mare cuz it's always night here!"

"…Not inside the dome…"

"Darnlyit…but it's an ARTICFIAL sun!"

"Half…Nnoitra got a sun burn from it…"

Entry 367

I will write down my dream in here since I left my own journal back at Las Noches…

You see, I was fighting Grimmijow again when suddenly, the glow in the dark balloons floated in and whacked Tia (Who was standing there all along and I didn't realize it until that moment) on the side of her head.

She got knocked out and the smiley faced balloons floated over to me. Grimmijow was pretty freaked out, seeing that Tia was the highest ranking Espada in the room.

So the balloons floated over to me and the smiley faces…made an EVIL smiley face and said to me "HAHAHA! ULQUIORRA CIFER, AIZEN-SAMA LIKES US BETTER! WE ARE TOUGHER THAN YOU! We are now the TERCERA ESPADA (since they killed Tia, which is scary)! Grimmijow is promoted to your rank and YOU are the SEXTA ESPADA!"

You could tell, I was freaked out (but kept my emo aura). Grimmijow was very happy and bossed me around.

"ULQUIORRA! Go and-" The next thing he said was very insulting, frightening, and worse than being demoted. (which, in my opinion, being demoted is almost as bad as death in front of Grimmijow) "-clean the toilet in my room!"

After I was done shuddering about it (which took a good hour and a half), I went to Grimmijow's room. I couldn't even find the bathroom with the mess.

"Hi Ulquiorra!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I LOST THE RESPECT OF WEAK ARRANCAR! (even though in the dream, I was weak myself…)

"It's Ulquiorra-SAMA, Mai."

"NOPE! Not anymore~ Ulqui-orra! Grimmijow-sama is way better than you!" NOOOOO! No one has ever said that… Than the worse thing (other than I having to clean Grimmijow's toilet) happened.

Grimmijow…came into the room and him…he…*shudder* kissed Mai! She didn't try to kill him or anything!

I don't know WHY, but I started SINGING Crazier… I tried to stop so hard, but I couldn't!

"Ulquiorra~ Time to have a fashion show!"

"EFF NO! I REFUSE!" Who cared about keeping your composure? THIS IS WORSE THAN DEATH.

"Come on! I have a sexy mini skirt and tank top waiting for you~!"

"EFF NO, CHARLOTTE! I AM A MALE!" Then… (Something even worse than death and almost as bad as cleaning the toilet happened…) I TURNED FEMALE.

That woman suddenly appeared and shoved her food and her beliefs about the heart down my throat and…started…*shudders a lot* to…to… HUG everyone…

"Woman, you hug me and I will kill you." *HUGS* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"ANYTIME BREAK AND EVERYONE! ANYWHERE BREAK AND EVERYONE!" Grimmijow started singing!

Everything was insane! I'm going to die! (since Aizen-sama was approaching me with Murcielago right now…)

I curled into the fetal position and started remembering the good times (like having tea at meetings). I must look crazy since there were stuffed animals all around me…

"HAHAHAHA! INOUE ORIHIME LOVES YOU!" screamed the balloons. Che, THAT is the most pathetic lie I've ever heard. "MAI CIFER IS REALLY YOUR SISTER AND SHE MARRIED GRIMMIJOW! YOU ARE NOW BROTHER IN LAWS!"

"KAMI-SAMA JUST TAKE ME NOW! OR BALLOONS THAT GLOW IN THE DARK KILL ME!"

The balloons laughed in my face. "CERO!" FIRE CEROS EVERYWHER RANDOMLY!

Mai suddenly kissed me before the balloons killed Aizen-sama.

"!"

Than I woke up to see Gin singing Fuyu no Hanabi…

That was the dream…that changed me…for five and a half seconds…

(because I was scared shi**less out of my mind and looked like I was having a seizure and probably crying like a little girl on the inside)

"ULQUI-ORRA! YA ALRIGHT?"

"NO!" Well…I tried to say no…but it came out as "ngh"

I learned that I am thankful for everything even though everything is trash. When I get back to Las Noches, I'll fight Grimmijow until I beat him to a bloody pulp.

*sigh*

I am feeling better already…

Entry 368

"Think…of the world. Imi nado nai to iu no ni soko ni. Think… our world-"

"Ya thinkin' o da world, Ulquiorra?"

"Yes…trashy world that is perfectly fine the way it is…"

"Weird…ima lost…and yer scared."

"I am NOT!"

"TOILETS!"

"CHIKUSO NOOOO!" (Chikuso means damn it in Japanese)

"Told ya^^"

"Urusai…" (Shut up in Japanese)

Entry 369

We're lost…

We can see Las Noches…but we dunno how ta get there…

Ulquiorra's too scared ta use Murcielago…

I know!

Entry 370

"_Ikorose! __**Shinso!**_"

"Wha-"

"Hop on, Ulqui-orra!"

"WOAAAAAAHHH!"

"Darnlyit…I thought we coulda shot ourselves back to Las Noches with Shinso…we're still too far away…"

"What's that white thing over head?"

"A hollow bird, Ulquiorra. Thought ya see lots of 'em when ya go on yer weekly flights…"

"No…I know it's a hollow bird, but… it has a face…"

"It's called its hollow mask, Ulquiorra…yer supposed ta be smarter den dis…"

"What's that blue thing flying behind its head?"

"Maybe it's Grimmijow and he learned ta fly in his Resurrection!"

"A cat flying…?"

Entry 371

Dat flying thing is bothering Ulquiorra a lot…

So we're playin' game…

"Primera-san!"

"A wolf."

"Segunda!"

"A skeleton."

"Tia-chan!"

"A shark. I believe you call it Jaws."

"YOU!"

"…*sigh* a bat…"

"Nnoitra!"

"A…spoon? I do not really know…My best guess would be an insect of some sort with tentacles/legs…"

"…Grim-jow!"

"A panther."

"Oh…thought it was a kitty… ZOMMARI!"

"A pumpkin…with many creepy staring eyes…"

"…Szayel Apporo-kun."

"A…moth or butterfly…"

"Aaroniero."

"Octopus."

"Yammy."

"A huge spider? I do not really know…"

"How could ya not know! He's yer fraccion!"

"…? Yammy Riyalago is not my fraccion… He is the Decima Espada…"

"That eats like a hog."

"Maybe that is what his animal is…"

Entry 372

"Ulquiorra-sama!"

Dat flyin' thing is Mai-chan! In Resurrection! So her animal is a white birdie! So that's why she wanted da White Owl Sticker… (from da chapter Socks)

"Mai-chan! How'd ya find us?"

"I found Aizen-sama and had to take him back to Las Noches! We better hurry because another Shinigami got in…"

"Probably ta save Pet-sama n' Hitsu-kun… LET'S GO!"

"Um…I can't take you both…"

"M'kay, Sorry, Ulquiorra, but-"

"Let's go, Ulquiorra-sama!"

"NO! DON'T LEAVE…me…here…"

"Sorry, Ichimaru-sama! Aizen-sama said I should bring back Ulquiorra-sama!"

"NOT MAH-

_WOO-HOO! Mai Cifer finally goes into Resurrection!_

_LOL, I should start trying to draw her Resurrection… _

_I'm drawing this picture with Ichimaru Gin. Tia Harribel, Ulquiorra Cifer, Mai Cifer, and Grimmijow Jeagerjacues in it. XD The drawing's gonna be the cover of Ichimaru Gin's Diary if I actually write it out on paper some day XD (Also a mini advisement type thingy XDD) I'll try to post it somewhere than give a link…_

_For now…_

Grimmijow: Arrancar Encyclopedia…

Harribel: Today, I am going to explain a bit about Mai Cifer's Resurrection.

*on screen shows Mai flying around with Ulquiorra*

Harribel: As you can see, she is a…bird type thing… We'll just go with an owl that it white…

Grimmijow: I can't believe Mai's a bird…panthers are supposed to try and eat them…

Harribel: Um…her release call is "_Chaimu_" which means chime. I, uh, don't really know the name of her zanpaktou…

Grimmijow: Screw this, why do we even have an Arrancar Encyclopedia? The readers only learn that we're stupid when not serious!

Harribel muttering: _Some Espada_ is stupid all the time…

Grimmijow (who doesn't quite get it): Yeah! Stupid Nnoitra and Yammy!


	35. Macaroni n Cheese

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 35: Macaroni n Cheese

Entry 373

Hiya! Mai Cifer here!

I got wayyyy too tired after we got back to Las Noches.

Ulquiorra-sama is heavy…

But I read his dream and… it's creepy…

I mean really? He's afraid of cleaning toilets?

Entry 374

Yo, Grimmijow here.

It's an Espada Dinner again…

Hey, have you read Ulquiorra's dream? It's GREAT!

I get someone to clean my toilet AND I kissed Mai! She didn't try to kill me either!

I should get Ulquiorra to have that dream more often^^

*across the table, where Ulquiorra sits*

*Shudders*

Entry 375

Gin has not returned yet. Oh well, a more quiet dinner then…

"My dear Espada, I had Kaname go to the World of the Living to buy some new food for us to try. Today's dinner is Macaroni and Cheese."

After all the plates were placed in front of us, we all took a sip of tea (since Aizen-sama always has us do that before meetings, meals, discussions, Espada Snack Time, etc)

The food…looked disgusting… it was in an odd shape and it was covered in a yellow-y substance called cheese…

(AN:_ XD I'm eating some right now! I don't love it I don't hate it…I'm just slightly hungry…) Macaroni and cheese…_

Everyone was staring at me. I think it is because I am usually the one who tries the new foods first.

Taking a small bite of this "macaroni and cheese" I think it tastes a bit odd… I always take a while to show reaction, so everyone took a bite assuming it wasn't poisoned.

"THIS STUFF IS GOOD!"

Grimmijow seems to like it…He just finished all of it in about two seconds…

Ew…here comes my reaction…it tastes horrible…and it's YELLOW. I know children don't like green foods. I liked them, but I don't like yellow foods…unless it's lemonade…

"This is trash."

Everyone stopped and stared at me.

"I'LL EAT IT FOR YOU, ULQUIORRA!" shouted the trashy Sexta.

"Please do…" I shoved my plate towards him.

"Che, if Ulquiorra doesn't like it, we probably won't like it." Barragan shoved his plate toward Yammy, who was eating it much faster than Grimmijow.

"I BET I CAN EAT MORE THAN YOUUU!"

"BRING IT ON!"

Everyone pushed their plates of the yellow food toward either Grimmijow or Yammy. Tia was the only one that didn't. She ate her food quietly before drinking her tea and watching the other two.

"I'M GONNA HURL!"

"SO AM I!"

"I BET I'LL HURL FIRST!"

"OH YEAH? BRING IT!" screamed Yammy as he continued eating the Macaroni.

Entry 376

Why is it that everyone hates Macaroni and Cheese just because Ulquiorra does not like it?

I remember when we were all children Arrancar…

TIA'S FLASHBACK

"Dinner time, brats." (Aaroniero, being the oldest other than Barragan, took care of us, since he was the Espada assigned to do so)

"What's da food ta'day?" asked Grimmijow. He and Ulquiorra were fighting about who got to finish a puzzle they were doing.

"Turkey hollow, eat up or Nnoitra is going to make you eat it." Nnoitra was older than all of us except Barragan and Aaroniero. He and Szayel at the time were like turning about…12 or 13 in Living Years…

"Do ya like it, Ulquiorra?" shouted Yammy. It was obvious that when Ulquiorra was sick, he didn't like anything. He was sick now, but the others didn't know.

"He's sick, Yammy-kun!" I shouted at him as I ate a small piece of the hollow turkey.

"I don't want any!" he sat back in his chair and pouted. Thinking back now, he was adorable when he was younger.

"I don't want any either!" said Grimmijow who, like everyone else, wouldn't eat any food unless Ulquiorra liked it.

"He's sick, dummy! It's really good! Cats are supposed to like turkey!" right after I said that, Grimmijow shoved his face into it and ate it.

"I wanna eat a soul, not some stupid dead turkey…" muttered Ulquiorra.

"This IS a soul! It was alive only an hour ago!" Once Ulquiorra heard that, he took a bite and everyone held their breath.

"I'll eat it…"

"YAYYY!"

I sighed, everyone would die of starvation if Ulquiorra didn't eat. And since he could regenerate, he didn't have to eat. So if it wasn't for me convincing him to eat, we'd all die from starvation.

Entry 377

"ULQUIORRA-SAMA!"

"Yes, Mai?"

"UQLUIORRA-SAMA!"

"Yes…?"

"ULQUIORRA-SAMA!"

"What do you need, Mai?"

"UL-QUI-ORR-A-SA-MA!"

"WHAT do you WANT?"

"ULQUIORRA-SAMA!" 

"I am not DEAF I can HEAR YOU!"

"UQLUIORRA-SAMA!"

"STOP this childish act, and TELL ME what you need, Mai!"

"I'm bored."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Play a game."

"What kind of game…?"

*whispers*

"NO."

"Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaseeee, will you?"

"NO."

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL-QUUIIIIIIIIIII-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"NO!"

Entry 378

Mai keeps complaining to Ulquiorra 'bout something…

"ULQUIORRA-SAMA! PLEASEEEE!"

"NO."

"PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY PLEASEEEE!"

"NO!"

"I'll make Grimmijow play it with me than."

*imagines what would happen* "NO."

"Fine…TAKE THIS!" *SHOVES MACARONI IN ULQUIORRA'S FACE!*

"YEAHHH! GO MAI!"

"PLAY THE GAME WITH ME, ULQUIORRA-SAMA!"

"NO! I AM COVERED IN THIS NASTY CHEESE AND I WANT TO GO AND TAKE A BUBBLE BATH."

"I'll let you use my lavender scented bubbles if you play it with me…"

"N-…Fine…"

_LOL, note to you, bribe Ulquiorra with good scented bubbles for bubble baths._

_XD_

Grimmijow: Espada Snack Time…

Aizen: Since Gin is still somewhere in Hueco Mundo, we'll stop his Arrancar Encyclopedia until further notice. Take a sip of tea everyone^^

Ulquiorra: Aizen-sama…this does not really look like tea… what is it?

Aizen: Hot chocolate! Quite good^^

Ulquiorra: It's hot…

Grimmijow: Of course it is, that's why it's called-OW! *had just picked it up and took a sip* THA JUS BURN'D MAH TONGUE!

Szayel Apporo: Intersting! Interesting! I shall save some so I can run tests on it later!

Kaname Tousen: Here are marshmallows everyone, put them in your drink.

Starrk: There are really soft, do you have a bigger one? Cuz I lost my emergency pillow and I'm kinda tired…

Ulquiorra: This…marshmallow thing…does not look edible…

Grimmijow: *plop goes the little marshmallow in his drink* Hehe, they melt a bit after a while.

Nnoitra: *chews* DAMN THIS LITTLE SQUISHY WHITE THING IS GOOD!

Aizen: They come in different colors sometimes.

Nnoitra: Eff YEAH! Humans do the coolest things with colors and food!

Ulquiorra: *takes a bite of the marshmallow* It's sugary…*plops it in hot chocolate*

Tia: *drinks some* It's better than tea, only because I'm sick of having it all the time…

Yammy: *mouth is full of Tia's, half of Ulquiorra's, Barragan's, Starrk's, Szayel's, half of Aaroniero's, and Zommari's marshmallows* UHHH! ISH TUFF ISSS GOOF! (YEAHH! THIS STUFF IS GOOD)

Aizen: Cheers to a late late late late late late Christmas!

Everyone else: *clinks mugs and takes a sip*

Wonderwiece: Awwwww AHHHHH! *had taken a huge gulp and burned his tongue XD* (I know he's not an Espada XD but he has strength of one)


	36. Too much to list

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 36: Too much to list

AN: Couldn't think of a decent chapter name XDDD And there is too many events to list in a chapter title lol EFF YEAH I HIT 100 REVIEWS! AND GOING!

Entry 379

The Shinigami that invaded was Matsumoto Rangiku.

We took her hostage and sent a threat letter to the Soul Society

_Dear Soul Soicety,_

_We have your 10__th__ Division Taichou, Hitsugaya Toshiro and Matsumoto Rangiku-fukutaichou of the same division as hostages._

_**IF YA SEND ANOTHER FREAKIN' SHINIGAMI, WE'll Rip DERE HEADS OFF AND FEED 'EM TA AARONIERO!  
**_

_Shut up, Nnoitra, this is supposed to be a serious threat letter!_

_**You just wanna make it serious so they don't come so ya get more time with pet-sama!**_

_DO. NOT. Anyways, Aizen-sama is in some trashy place in the Living World so I am taking his place._

_**ME TOO!**_

_NO you are not, Nnotira Jiruga! Go back to your palace and leave this letter alone!  
_

_**Fine, I'll go visit Pet-chan (the taller one).**_

_See? Feel pity for Rangiku. Now, I end this letter as I leave to prepare for my lavender scented bubble bath._

_-Cuarto Espada of Sosuke Aizen-sama's army, Ulquiorra Cifer_

_PS Nnoitra also. Starrk says hello to…pink wearing guy…_

Entry 380

*hugs Grimmijow* "You are a kawaii chibi neko," I muttered.

"I'M COVERED IN CHEESE! THANKS A LOT, ULQUIORRA!"

"Mai Cifer wanted me to play a game… Apparently, that was the game. Excuse me while I take my bubble bath…

Entry 381

I'm in my bubble bath now… *sighs* ahhh…so peaceful…

*door slams open* "ULQUIORRA-SAMA!"

"MAI, GET OUT I AM TAKING A BUBBLE BATH!"

"You have a letter back from the Soul Society already!" *hands letter over*

"…Mai?"

"Yes, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"Can you…get out?"

"I wanna see what the letter says! And there's bubbles, so no need to worry."

*sigh*

_**Dear Cuarto Espada,**_

_**We will not try to disturb Hueco Mundo for now. Please keep Hitsugaya-taichou and Matsumoto-fukutaichou in good condition.**_

_**Can we do anything to get them back?**_

Ahhh! Yama-jii, don't be so serious! Ulquiorra-san, tell Coyote-san I said hello also! And my name is Shunsui, but you can call my pink wearing guy anyday! (AN: I call him that XD) 

_Haha, tell that little girl Lilynette hello also from Ukitake-san. She seemed nice if she would just…um…be nicer I guess…_

_**Stop it you two! Anyways, tell Aizen we hate him. Kuchiki Byakuya says to Zommari Leroux I HATE YOUR GUTS. I WILL BE FASTER THAN YOU ANY DAY.**_

_**-Taichous of the Gotei 13**_

Entry 382

"AHHH!"

"MAI!"

"Oops…sorry, hehe…"

"..."

"I bet I could hold my breath under water longer than you can!"

"Che, I am a higher rank and far more superior in the air and I will now prove in the water also."

*both goes under water, glaring at each other*

Entry 383

*a while later*

*knocks on the door* "Hey, Ulquiorra…I know I let you use my bath tub…but it's been a while…"

*no response*

*shoves open door* "Ulquiorra, what are you-!"

*Ulquiorra suddenly comes up from under water, Mai shoving him up, smirking*

"What the heck-?"

"We were seeing who could hold their breath under water. I was doing just fine, but Ulquiorra-sama was trying to get me to breath under water."

"You were trying to shove me up!"

"Shut it you two. I can hold my breath longest!"

"Prove it, Tia."

"Alright, I have a swimming pool. Meet me there in five minutes."

"WOO! POOL PARTY!"

Entry 384

*Tia, Ulquiorra, and Mai all jump into the water, staying under and holding their breaths*

Tia: *smirks*

Ulquiorra: *slightly glares*

Mai: *looks around under water*

*SPLASH*

Grimmijow: *waves to everyone else underwater*

Tia: *pulls out Tiburon under water* (they're all in swim suits, Tia just happens have her zanpaktou with her) *comes out muffled since they're in the water* "Ola…Azul!"

Grimmijow: *water muffled* "GAHHHHHH!"

*SPLASH*

Matsumoto: *waves underwater*

*SPLASH*

Toushiro: *glares under water*

Tia: *water muffled* "Why's there so many people in my pool?"

Entry 385

*after a while*

"FINE. Tia, you win! How do you hold your breath?"

"I don't. I can breathe under water."

"Ne, hi everybody! Grimmijow here brought Orihime, taichou, and I here for the Pool Party!"

"It's so hot in the room you keep us in, Espada."

"Would you like a splash of water, Shinigami-san?"

"Sure…"

*everyone looks at Harribel*

"What…? Oh…fine…Ola…Azul!"

"WAVE POOL!"

Entry 385

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco…"

"*water muffled* Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

"Marco!"

"Po-AHHH!"

"GOT YA, Mai!"

"Let go of me-!"

"Ha!"

"Do those two like each other…?"

"No, _onna,_ Mai doesn't like Grimmijow."

"Oh…"

"Do you think she can breathe really?"

"Ignore it."

"I have some water melon that we could eat."

"I CALL THE BIGGER HALF."

"NO! I get it you stupid, Espada!"

"Hey! I'm the strongest one in the room!" _AN: I would say Harribel is stronger than Toushiro…you know, he was getting his butt kicked, two vizards helped, she still survived. The only reason she died was because Aizen so I'm still saying she rocks._

"SHUT UP!"

"YAAA!"

"Ne, Emo-kun, are you and Hime-chan dating."

"No, you imbecile."

"Aww, you two would look nice together!"

"Over my dead body."

"You ARE dead so HA!"

"Over your ugly dead shinigami body."

"I am not ugly!"

"Over my already dead body it is."

"ARG!"

"You didn't deny you're ugly over my already dead body."

"Shut up, Emo-san."

"Don't call me emo, trash."

"Eh, Rangiku-san, Ulquiorra-san, please stop fighting!"

"I have a much better body than the emo anyways!"

"I do not care about such things. I have more strength."

"ARGG!" *attacks him*

*dodges*

*starts mini in door battle*

Inoue: *sigh* Am I the only one that doesn't fight?

Everyone else: YES.

Entry 386

"HA I GOT THE WATER MELON! Here, have some lays."

"Ew, everyone in Soul Society KNOWS that Doritos are better."

"You did NOT just say that."

"I think I just DID."

"Come with me."

"Where…?"

"To the top of the dome."

*on the dome*

"UTE! TIBURON!"

"AH! BANKAI! DAIGUREN HYOURINMARU!"

"LAYS ARE MUCH BETTER THAN DORITOS!"

"DORITOS ARE TRIANGULAR!"

"LAYS COME IN ALL SORTS OF DIFFERENT WEIRD SHAPES!"

"LAYS ARE STUPID!"

"DORITOS ARE ORANGE!"

"Shut up, Shinigami! Lays are much better!"

"Espada, you are so wrong! Doritos is the best chip ever invented!"

"After LAYS!"

Entry 387

Yatta! (yay)

I finally got back ta Las Noches!

Ulquiorra's beatin' Grimmijow ta a bloody pulp right now…

Hm…

Boss Contest so far:

Coyote Starrk (Primera)- 1 vote

Tia Harribel (Tercera)- 2 votes

Ulquiorra Cifer (Cuarto)- 2 votes

Grimmijow Jeagerjacues (Sexta)- 1 vote

We'rea changin' it ta whoever gets 5 votes wins!

GO ICHIMARU GIN!

Even though Ima not in da contest…

Entry 388

I wonder what da surprise on da 500th entry is?

Ima excited ta find out!

LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT ULQUIORRA DOIN' IN HIS FREE TIME!

*FLASHBACK*

*Ulquiorra standin' in da corner with his hands in his pockets like usual*

*thinks no one is watching*

*pulls out Dracula and starts playing with him* (His bat plush)

"Let's go find Blots of Grin to annoy, shall we, Dracula?"

_So much randomness. I can't think of a decent chapter name XD THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! I'M SO HAPPY WITH ALL OF IT!_

_I have an more evil idea heheheh! Oh-so-evil!_

_MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!  
_

Tia Harribel: Espada Snack Time.

Gin: Well, Ima back, but Espada Snack Time must be better den Arrancar Encycloepedia…

Kaname: Aizen-sama is gone, so today I will be serving food.

Everyone: Darn it…

Gin: Peanut butter sandwiches!

Everyone except Harribel: What do you think, Ulquiorra?

Ulquiorra: *takes a sip of tea along with everyone else before taking a bite of the sandwich*

Everyone: *takes a bite, forgetting that Ulquiorra has a slow reaction time*Tia already is eating*

Grimmijow: *smacking sound* this is sticky!

Tia: Yes, but it's good. Hey…Ulquiorra, you alright?

Ulquiorra: *trying to breathe*

Starrk: Do the whatchamacallit maneuver!

Harribel: *elbows Ulquiorra in the stomach*

Ulquiorra: *choking sound, hacks out something into a napkin*

Grimmijow: What the heck happened, Ulquiorra?

Ulquiorra: Ch-choked…

Harribel: Ugh…I don't feel good…

Szayel: Are you choking too?

Harribel: No…

Grimmijow: What…you look odd…

Szayel: You may be allergic to peanuts. Come with me to my lab, I have something to make you feel better!

Ulquiorra: *tries to breathe again* H-help!

Starrk: *snoring*

Barragan: *not there cuz he's on a mission with Zommari*

Harribel: *leaving with Szayel to the lab*

Grimmijow: Who's strong enough to do the whatchamacallit maneuver on him?

Nnoitra: Everyone stronger than him ain't here… so…NNOITRA JIRUGA TA DA RESCUE! *punches Ulquiorra's stomach*

Ulquiorra: OW! *still choking*

Grimmijow: I saw this on the Pink Panther once! It's my most favorite movie so I watched it and there's a part where the investigator guy helped the girl who was choking! *gets behind Ulquiorra, does the whatchamacallit maneuver the RIGHT way*

Ulquiorra: *HACK* T-thank…you….trashy…Sexta…

Grimmijow: *proud*

Kaname: No more peanut butter sandwiches. There are too many injuries…

Yammy: *sneaks a bunch into his secret pockets XDD*


	37. So Called Halibel

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 37: So Called Halibel

MY 100th, 101st, and 102nd reviewers are: AppleDoodle, Yami Otaku, and SayurixGin!

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!

Entry 389

Szayel Apporo Grantz here^^

For some odd reason, all Espada ranked Cuarto and up are gone…Even Aizen and his two weird eyed buddies. They left so suddenly… I'm lonely because Ulquiorra was my chess buddy…

*sigh* the worst thing is that NNOITRA is in charge of Las Noches…until Neliel Tu came back so she's in charge!

Nnoitra is not happy.

But the rest of us are, because Miss Tu is quite beautiful^^ I enjoy watching everyone fail when flirting with her.

*_AN: I forgot how to spell her last name…_

Entry 390

Grimmijow: "Nel, you must be the opposite of Ulquiorra cuz you're hot!" (Note from S.A.G.: Opposite as in Ulquiorra is cold and Nel is 'hot' to the Sexta.)

Neliel: "Yeah…and you're not."

Me: "You just got BURNED!"

Entry 391

Neliel: "Oh, you must be the other girl Espada I heard about! Nice to meet you Halibel-san!" ^^

Nnoitra: "Yer such a friggin' idiot, Neliel!"

Me: "…_Yes…_My name is _Tia Halibel_…"

Nnoitra: "Hey, _Tia_, where's Szayel?"

Neliel: "Oh, I remember that name from somewhere! He helped you kick me out of the Espada and out of Las Noches!

Me: "Um…uh… Szayel Apporo-kun is the Tercera Espada! H-he's not here right now…"

Neliel: "Darn it, I wanted to _personally thank him_ for helping Nnoitra."

*gulp* Neliel is staying here…and she thinks I'm Harribel!

This can't be good…

Entry 392

"Halibel-chan! Where are you? Halibel-chan! Oh, hi, Grimmijow. Have you seen Halibel-chan?"

"No, baka, she's with-"

"Uh, here I am, Neliel!"

"What the heck? Grantz, Halibel's gonna kill you when-"

"HAHAHAHA! Grimmijow you're so funny! Hahaha!" *whispers to him so Nel doesn't notice* "I'll give you cat nip AND a blue ball of yarn if you don't blow my cover."

"…Hahaha…yeah… _Halibel_ here is just great! Wonderful _girl_! Excuse us for a moment, Neliel-san!"

Entry 393

"Give it, Apporo."

"Fine…" *hands over a small bag of cat nip and a nice shade of blue yarn*

*Grimmijow is happy and proud* "_Thank you_."

Entry 394

"What did you need me for, Neliel?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to sleep over with me in my old headquarters!"

*imagines what could happen* "…" *slight nosebleed* "EXCUSE ME!"

Entry 364

Huh…Halibel-chan just ran off suddenly…

Oh well! Nel here and I'm gonna visit their prisoners!

There's two girls and one kid…

Ew…the kid's hair is old, white, and moldy…

Entry 395 (AN: _WARNING: If you have a very weak stomach, please do not eat while reading this entry XD Read it anyways if you want, but if you have a very stomach, don't imagine what the food would look like)_

"HIYA! I brought you three some Mac n Cheese for dinner!"

"OHHH! Rangiku-san, I have some ketchup and ranch we can put into it!"

"I have some rice to mix it in, too! This is going to be one of the best meals I'll have here!"

White haired kid: *looks like he's gonna hurl*

Me: "…I have some…chocolate you could add to that if you want…?"

The other two: "YUUMMM~!"

Entry 396

Me: "Alright! This is the first Espada meeting ever since Aizen-sama has left! I'm re-ranking you all until he comes back! Starting with Primera and ending with the…Septima cuz the other four left!"

Grimmijow: "Che, I'll get a higher rank than everyone!"

Me: "Alright! Seeing that I am the strongest one in here, I'm the Primera! Segunda is Grimmijow, then Tercera is Leroux! Cuarto is Halibel (for some reason everyone gave her a weird look than) and Quinta is Aaroniero, Sexta is Yammy, and Septima is Nnoitra!"

Nnoitra: "WHY AM I THE WEAKEST?"

Me: "Cuz you don't derserve to be called a warrior. You are more like a beast."

Nnoitra: "YEAH! I'M **BEAST**!

Halibel: "Yeah, and Grimmijow's a cat."

Entry 397

Is it just me, or does Halibel-chan look like some I've seen before?"

_AN: END CHAPTER FOR NOW LOL_

_Just so it doesn't get too confusing, whenever Neliel writes, Szayel will be known as Halibel XD_

_So…Let's see how this goes… (you should scroll down to the Espada snack time)_

_:D _

Neliel: Espada Snack Time…?

Grimmijow: This segment is usually where Aizen forces us to try new foods, Nel.

Neliel: Oh…OK! I have a new food for you guys!

"Halibel": What is it?

Neliel: It's called pumpkin bread! It's pretty good, but they're kinda delicate cuz if you hold them too hard or something like that, then they'll crumble… (_AN: That ALWAYS happens to me XD)_

Aaronniero: Well…**Ulquiorra isn't here…** so Grimmijow, you try it.

Grimmijow: Che, I guess as the _Segunda Espada,_ I get to have the honors. Woo-pe-doo. *pick up a slice*slice crumbles*Grimmy frowns*picks up his second slice*before he can take a bite it crumbles also*gently picks up last slice*holds it with both hands and eats is*

Everyone: …

Grimmijow: This stuff is good! *eats the broken pieces too*

Zommari: It's made from…pumpkins…?

Neliel: Yup! Just be careful, it took Grimmijow a while just to pick up one and eat it, so dig in!

Everyone: *keeps breaking it on accident*keeps picking up more slices*gently holds it with two hands*takes bite* YUUUMM~

Zommari: *in his mind* _These are made from pumpkins! Humanity is very brutal and cruel… I am sorry my fellow pumpkins… I am sorry for the rest of the Espada… This bread looks so delicious… I…will resist…looks…so…good…*mouth waters*…*eats a slice* YUMM~ WHAT HAVE I DONE? I AM SORRY MY FELLOW PUMPKINS! STRIKE ME DOWN NOW!  
_

"Halibel": Hey…what's wrong with Zommari? He just suddenly passed out… It looks like he'z having a seizure…

Zommari: *in his head* _I will try to force myself to have a seizure! I AM SORRY FELLOW PUMPKINS!_

Neliel: Maybe we should pour some water on him…

Nnoitra: I'LL BLESS IT!

Grimmijow: NUH UH! I WILL! I'M THE SEGUNDA!

Nnoitra: BUT I'll BEAT YA TO IT! BLESS BLESS BLESS BLESS BLESSEY BLESS BLESS!

Grimmijow: BLESSEY BLESSEY BLESS BLESS BLESSEY BLESSEY BLESS BLESS!

Neliel: Is this what…Aizen-sama ALWAYS deals with…?


	38. Parenting

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

And the 103rd, 104th and 105th reviewer is…CAMEO1 AND ONLY

Chapter 38: Parenting

Entry 398

Yo, Grim here…

I'm sittin' in one of those massage chairs right now…(AN: SO AM I!)

Who knew Neliel has one?

Anways…there's a seat vibrator thingy ma-jig…

It makes your butt feel funny. (AN: ME TOO! XD)

Entry 399

NNOITRA JIRUGA HERE!

And Neliel just turned into a kid again…

So we're dumpin' her on Grimmijow, who's the 'highest ranking sane one'.

Entry 400

Trashy trash, stupid piece of trashy trash…

*sigh* Aizen-sama had taken us to a place called the Bahamas.

But Gin bothered me a lot so of course, I complained.

Aizen-sama thought I was complaining about the Bahamas, which is lovely there.

So he sent me back, saying he doesn't want any unhappy campers…

Trashy Tia personally sent a sharp and freezing wave to bring me back to Las Noches…

Oh look…it's the 400th entry…

Get it? 400th and I am the 4th Espada?

Never mind…you people don't understand any of my jokes…

Entry 401

"Hiya! Ima Nel Tu, who're you?"

"According to you, Segunda Espada, Grimmijow Jeagerjacues."

"Hahaha! Cool! I'm Nel Tu! Who're you?"

"I just said…I'm Grimmijow Jeagerjacues…"

"I'm Nel Tu, who're you?"

"GET IT INTO YOUR STUPID BRAIN! I'M GRIMMIJOW JEAGERJACUES!"

"I'm Grimmijow Jeagerjacues, who're you?"

"I'm Nel Tu-HEY! Wait a minute!"

"M-kay! Ya gotta stop watch? Cuz I can't tell time…"

"I'M GRIMMIJOW JEAGERJACUES AND YOU'RE NEL TU!"

"Yup! I'm still waitin' for da minute ta be over!"

"YOU ANNOYING LITTLE SNOT!"

Grimmijow Parenting? FAIL

Entry 402

"Ulqui-orra-sama!" 

"Yes…trash?"

"GRIM HURT NEL!"

"Who's Nel?"

"NEL IS RIGHT HERE!" 

"I don't see her…"

"NEL IS RIGHT HERE!"

"Is she your imaginary friend?"

"NO! Pecshe and Dondachakka are! Nel's here!"

"I don't see her…Trash, are you sure you're just trying to get me out of this comfortable chair?"

"Dat's Nel's massage chair…"

"I know…"

"Nel neva said yoo can use it…"

"*realization hits like 4 tons of…trash* Nel…"

"Yes, Ulqui-orra-sama?"

"…"

"I'm bored. GIVE ME A PIGGY BACK RIDE!"

"No."

*STARTS BAWLING AND CRYING EYES OUT. BEING NEL, THERE IS NOW SNOT ON ULQUIORRA'S HAKAMA*

"NO TRASH, GET OFF OF ME."

"WAHHHH! PIGGY BACK RIDE!"

"CERO! GET OFF OF ME. THERE IS SNOT ALL OVER MY HAKAMA! NO! NOT MY JACKET! I just got it dry cleaned! And that takes forever since that trashy imbecile Grimmijow dry cleans everything, seeing that he is afraid of water."

"WAHHH! PLAY WITH ME!"

"NO YOU LITTLE BRAT. YOU RUINED MY JACKET! NOOO! NOT THE HAIR! Never touch my hair or helmet!"

Ulquiorra parenting? FAIL. Wait…make that DOUBLE FAIL. *Unless you are very quiet, boring, and doesn't mind working for him…and dry cleaning his clothes…

Entry 403

"Who're YOU?"

"I am Szayel App- I mean… I'm Tia Halibel^^"

"Hiya Tia-sama!"

"Trash, what are you doin-"

"Hi, Ulquiorra! *whispers* if you play along, I'll give you this."

"…No way, tr- …*stares at it* …Actually…it is strangely tempting…"

"…"

"I will be going now, _Tia_."

"Hahaha, isn't Ulquiorra nice, Nel?"

"YUSH. Hey…what's dat?"

"Oh, this Neliel, is…well, the most simple term I can put it in is a rather large paper cut."

"What'd you get cut with? Paper?"

"…No…I was using Grimmijow's envelope opener, which apparently is very sharp…"

"Want me to heal it for youu?"

"Sure…thank you very much, Neliel^^"

*drools*

"AAHG! WHAT are you doing?"

"If I fondle mah voice box, den spit comes out and it heals YOU!"

"I'm pretty sure Dondoroni already said this, but ladies shouldn't use the word fondle!"

*drools* "ITSH GOOD FOR YOUU!"

"AH! STOP IT. I'll…um…BAKE YOU CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES IF YOU STOP!"

"N- weally? Okay!"

Szayel Apporo parenting? F- *gets bribed with yummy warm chocolate chip cookies* MMMMMM~ Not a complete fail^^

Entry 404

"Since Aizen-sama is not here and I am the highest ranking Espada, I am the Cero Espada, Ulquiorra Cifer." *is proud*still looks emo though*

"No fair! Nel was da Primera!"

"Well, I am the Cero Espada."

"MEANIE."

"Trash."

"EMO-CAR!"

"Brat."

TRASH."

"Imbecile."

"BAKA! Wait…what does imbecile mean?"

"It means…you are a pretty unicorn…"

"YAYYY! OKAY! I'M AN IMBECILE! YOU'RE AN IMBECILE! EVERYONE'S AN IMBECILE!"

"…"

Entry 405

"Leroux-san! Come and carve pumpkins with me!"

"…"

*in his head* _B-brutal…so much…brutality…mercilessly carving pumpkins…pulling out their seeds…*shudders*_

"Leroux-san…?"

"DON'T HURT THE INNOCENT PUMPKINS!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Zommari Leroux parenting? FAIL. Well..yeah…FAIL FAIL MC-FAIL FAILY FAIL!

Entry 406

Ulquiorra: "APP- I MEAN _TIA, _WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?"

Grimmijow: "BAKA! GR- HALIBEL WHERE THE JECK ARE WE GOING?"

Nel: "HALIBEL-SAMA WHERE ARE WE GOINGGG?"

"Halibel"/Szayel: "I DUNNO! This Garganta in the throne room suddenly opened!"

Ulquiorra: "Uh-oh…"

Everyone else: "You know where it goes…?"

Ulquiorra: "Sadly yes…"

"TELL US!"

"Not until Szay- I mean…Not until Tia gives me something you promised…"

"FINE!" *chucks a small box at his head*

Ulquiorra: ^^ (keeping his emo aura) Thank you."

Entry 407

"Wait a minute…"

"Ya, Halibel-sama?"

"Who's operating this Garganta?"

"WE THOUGHT YOU WERE!"

"…" *Ulquiorra doesn't notice, staring and poking at the contents of his small box*

"Hi, ev'rbody^^"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" *Ulquiorra looks up from his box*

"What?"

_What is in that small box? _

_Why did everybody scream!_

_WHO is operating the Garganta!_

_I'm not tellin' you…yet!_

Ulquiorra: Es-pada Snack…TIME! *tripping around since the Garganta is…a shaky ride*

Grimmijow: Who…in Hueco Mundo…*holds back a hurl* would have food…RIGHT NOW?

"Halibel": I do…

Grimmijow: I-I…can't…*holds back another hurl* EAT RIGHT NOW.

Ulquiorra: J-just…AHHH! H-hurry up…with…the food…

Nel: NEL IS HUNGRY.

"Halibel": *passes out food to everyone*

Ulquiorra: Lays?

Grimmijow: Che, Doritos are better.

Nel: YEAH!

Other: Traitors…

Grimmijow: anyways, Aizen usually forces us NEW foods. Not Lays.

"Halibel": *hands Grimmijow the Barbecue Lays*

Grimmijow: YUUMMM~ Lays rock!

Ulquiorra: *munches on his Lays, staring at the box sitting next to him every few seconds*_ AN: For some reason, I imagine Ulquiorra sitting down eating Lays with a box next to him, looking cute/adorable…XD_

Some voice: Ne, Szayel Apporo-kun, don't I get anythin'?

Everyone ('cept Ulquiorra who's still eating Lays and staring at his box): AHHHH!


	39. Can't think of chapter name

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Chapter 39: Can't think of chapter name…

_Entry 408_

"ICHIMARU GIN, DIDN'T HARRIBEL TELL YOU THAT NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU OPPERATE A GARGANTA?"

"Ne, that's not a nice way ta greet me, Szay-kun…"

"Shh, Neliel is sleeping!"

"Nnoitra Jiruga since when in Hueco Mundo did you get here?"

"I followed Nel…"

"Nnoit-kun gotta CRUSH! Maybe ya can double date with Mai-chan and Grim-kun!"

"I'M IN THE ROOM, ICHIMARU-SAMA."

"But ya two look nice ta'gether! Ya ARE both blue haired!"

"Whatever…"

"Where are we going?"

"The Bahamas…"

"Isn't Aizen there?"

"Ya^^"

"What's he been doin' this whole time?"

"Forcin' Tousen-san, Primera-san, Barragan, and me ta do da hula wearing grass skirts and coconuts bras^^"

"…Is it too late to go back?"

_Entry 409_

Mai-chan, Nel, Apporo-kun, and me: "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Nnoitra: "HOLY SHI-"

Grimmijow: "AHHH! WATER!"

*after we all landed and floating around trying to figure out how to get to shore*

"Where's Ulquiorra?"

*under a palm tree on the beach*

"…This thing is very…strange…I can't help, but stare at it…"

_Entry 410_

*after they all get to shore*

"Szayel Apporo Grantz, I knew you would figure out how to open that Garganta… Join us on the beach."

"*yawn* Huh…? Nel thought dat YOU is Halibel-sama and YOU *points to the real Halibel* is Szayel…"

"What are you talking about? I'm the real Har-"

"HARRY POTTER! Yes, Szayel likes to read Harry Potter." _AN: Nel is now Neliel. The adult…but still doesn't remember what Szayel looked like_

"Um…Szayel Apporo-kun…I thought you were male…I remember that you were a guy, but…why are you wearing a bikini if you're a guy? Or do you cross dress like Charlotte?"

*If looks could kill, the real Harribel just killed real Szayel*

"Yeah, _Szayel Apporo_, why don't ya take it off and-" *Nnoitra got kicked by "Apporo"*

"I, _Szayel Apporo_, cross dresses sometimes. I will now go and change."

*a while later, we see "Szayel" in pink swim trunks and a pink shirt, along with a pink water proof scarf*

"I DO NOT CROSS DRESS!" 

"What are you talking about, Halibel-chan? Let's go change into our own swim suits!"

*a little bit later*everyone except "Halibel" and Tousen (since he can't see) holds back a laugh*

"Er…nice swimsuit, _Harribel_."

"_Thank you_, Nnoitra…"

*tension is in the air! But of course, everyone laughs it off in their heads*

"Red is a good color on you, Halibel-chan! Let's give these boys a good show, shall we ladies?" (Ladies to Neliel, as in "Halibel", Mai, and herself*

Everyone else, including real Harribel: "BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!"

"What's so funny?" 

"Oh, I think we should put on a fashion show for the boys!"

"Good idea, Mai! I have this cute dress that would look GREAT on Halibel!"

In "Halibel's head: _Oh dear vasto lorde…What have I gotten myself into?_

_Entry 411_

*a bunch of guys, meaning pretty much everyone except Barragan, Aizen, Tousen (cuz they're not in the room), and Gin (since it'd be just awkward) wolf whistles since the ladies are putting on a 'fashion show'. (Oh, 'Szayel' isn't either.) (Oh wait…Ulquiorra is just staring at the mysterious contents of his mystery little box* (_AN: XDDDDDDD_)

*Gin collects bets on who's gonna fall off the long table first (since they're using it as whatever you call it thingy cat walk I think)* 

Grimmijow: "Dang, I don't think even _you_ could screw yourself into this kinda mess, Nnoitra!"

Nnoitra: "Yeah, now shut up and enjoy the moment! Doesn't Neliel look grea- I mean stupid?"

Grimmijow: "…and you said you hated her, Jiruga."

Nnoitra: "I never said anything-HEY! I think "Halibel" might fall any minute now!"

Grimmijow: "Nah, Nel's gonna fall first! She's so stupid."

Nnoitra: "NELIEL IS NOT STUPID! Er…I mean…YEAH! So…stupid…"

Grimmijow: "I don't care if you like Nel Tu."

Nnoitra: "Che, you're just jealous cuz I like someone that has an ESPADA rank."

Grimmijow: "So?"

Nnoitra: "Mai is weak! You could probably-"

Grimmijow: "SHUT UP! LALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALALA!"

Nnoitra: "I KNOW DAMN WELL YA CAN HEAR ME!"

Grimmijow: "NO I CAN'T! LALALALALALALALALALALA!"

Ulquiorra: …Shut up, Trash. Grimmijow, we all know you can hear him and that his disturbing unfinished statement MIGHT be true. And Nnoitra, whatever you say, we all know that you like that trashy Neliel.

Nnoitra: WHY is she trash?

Ulquiorra: She is a higher rank than I so she could boss me around…

_Entry 412_

In the end, Mai fell off first. Right on top of Ulquiorra, too.

_Che, I'm surprised that I didn't fall off first!_

Szayel Apporo, WHY are you pretending to be me?

_Well…you see…Neliel called me Halibel so I thought I could take advantage pretend to be you, making Szayel Apporo sound great since she thinks you are the Octava while I am the Tercera!_

…So…you're just trying to make yourself look good?

_Yup!_

"NELIEL!"

_Entry 413_

"NELIEL."

"Yes, Szayel Apporo?"

"That bastard Szay-"

"I hate you so much, WHY did you help NNOITRA? I am going to personally thank you for this! _Utae (Declare), Gamuza!"_

"I am NOT Szayel Apporo Grantz! I am Tercera Espada, Tia Harribel!"

"PROVE IT, Grantz!"

"_Ute (Detroy), Tiburon!"_

"O.O WOAH. Okayy…I believe you now…"

"You better believe me. If I WAS Apporo, than my release wouldn't consist of a skirt."

"…"

"…"

"SZAYEL APPORO GRANTZ GET OVER HERE YOU IDIOT!"

_Entry 414_

*yawn* Aizen thought of the craziest thing I've heard of…

He wants to have a "dance".

I'm only going cuz I have to…

Who am I going with, you may ask?

Tia, who is currently helping Miss Tu beat the pink out of Szayel.

We're all such friendly people…er…Arrancar…

_Entry 415_

"AIZEN…-SAMA WHY THE HECK ARE WE HAVING A DANCE?"

"Grimmijow, it's not a dance, I've told you all that. It's more like a…formal occasion where we all wear fancy clothes and have dinner together!"

"…You mean like an Espada dinner…?"

"No, because this time, you don't have to be an Espada."

*five seconds later*

"Mai will you go to the dinner thingy with me?"

"…Sure…"

"YESSSSSSSSSSS! ULQUIORRA YOU LOST THE BET! MAI SAID YES! SO HAND OVER THE SMALL BOX!"

"NO! SHE COULDN'T HAVE SAID YES!"

"GIVE IT!" *Ulquiorra chucks small box at Grimmijow, and it goes through his hollow hole! Making it look like a box floated out of his tummy XD*

"*looks inside the box* Ohhhh! A pretty green ball of yarn!" _AN: LE GASP! The contents of the box finally revealed!_

_Entry 416_

I am Sosuke Aizen and I would like to ask a very important question that you reviewers MUST answer in your review.

In the boss contest, would you rather have it stop at 3 or 5 points?

If 3, there is already a winner. We will go for two winners if you wish.

If 5 points, than we keep voting.

I cannot believe who won the 3 points first…

I won't tell you, but hint hint, it's NOT Ulquiorra…

Pity. You all seemed like friendly people that were Ulquiorra lovers…

_Entry 417_

"Ichimaru-sama, do you know what the surprise on the 500th entry is?"

"Hm…nah, I think I know, cuz Yammy's pretty upset 'bout it!"

"Oh, we're getting rid of our bigger than necessary fridge, aren't we?"

"…Maybe~"

_Entry 418_

"NELIEL!"

"What do you want, Nnoitra?"

"…I…wanna go ta the dinner thing with me?"

"Sure. Just…let's act like we hate each other."

"Easy as getting Grimmijow to eat cat nip!"

"Actually, that's quite hard when Mai or Ulquiorra is in the room. Well…unless Ulquiorra gives him cat nip…"

"Wanna go give him some?"

_Entry 419_

Mai: "Eff you, Jiruga!"

Nnoitra: "Awww, I see you blushin' Cifer!"

Ulquiorra: "I am not blushing. Do I look like I am trash?"

Nnoitra: "Not you, Ulquiorra! Yer sister!"

Ulquiorra and Mai: "We're not related."

Grimmijow: "Yer warm^^"

Mai: "Shut up, you stupid blue haired cat, and get off of me."

Nnoitra: "If he's a stupid blue haired cat, than aren't you a stupid blue haired owl?"

Mai: "Shut up you stupid spoon."

Nnoitra: "Actually, I'm a stupid TALL and HIGHER RANKED spoon!"

Ulquiorra: "So you admit you're a stupid spoon."

_AN: Ehh…I'm running out of good ideas…Sure I have them, but it's hard to not write about all the Espada instead of Gin XD I have two evil ideas, but one might not work…and the other might take a while to figure out…_

_SO… Dinner next chapter…_

_Personally, I think that this was not a very funny chapter…_

_Like Aizen said about the Boss Contest, should it stop at 3 points or 5? Cuz if we stop at 3, than we have a winner! We'll go for two winners if any of you want…_

Gin: Espada Snack Time^^

Aizen: I would like you all to sample some spaghetti.

*everyone stares at Ulquiorra*

Ulquiorra: *hacks, chokes*

Gin: Maybe ya shoulda cut it inta small pieces for dem, Aizen-taichou.

Grimmijow: *Does the whatchamacallit maneuver*

Ulquiorra: This is a dangerous food, but it tastes okay…

Everyone except Harribel: *digs in*

Yammy: UUUUGHHH!

Gin: Aizen-taichou…Yam-kun got tied up in his food.

Ulquiorra: Eat you way out of it, trash.

*five minutes later*

Ulquiorra: I suggested you to eat your way out of it, not get us all tied up in our own food!

Grimmijow: *eats his way out of it*

Gin (who isn't tied up in his own food): *chucks meatballs at everyone*

Yammy: *eats any meatball that comes flying his way*

Starrk: *just woke up and got a meatball to the balls* (AN: XDD)


	40. Bubble Bath & Unnamed Frog

This is mah diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

This is the 40th chapter, o' mah diary.

Entry 420-427: Bubbles Baths and Un-named Frog

_Entry 420_

*Yawn* Hello, everyone…

Be more lively, Primera-san! Like this: HIYA MINNA-CHAN~!

*sigh*yawn* Fine… HELLO MINNA-CHAN.

We're gonna try an' make this the best/funniest chapter there's been so far! Ne, but these days, things ain't so funny… An' ya gotta admit, it't hard ta beat da funniness of chapter…13? Socks… So…ON WITH DA…chapter/entry/page/day/night/time/to/bother/the/Espada/*smiley face*

…*snores*…

_Entry 421_

"HIYA, BARRAGAN-SAN~! WHADDYA DOIN'?"

*no response*

"Aww, yer sleepin, ain't ya, Barragan-san?"

*no response*

"Haha! Usually it's Primera-san that's so sleepy!"

*no response*

*poke poke poke poke poke poke pokes*

*no response*

"BARRAGAN-SAN? YA ALRIGHT? Funny…yer usually a light sleeper, like Tia-chan…"

*no response*

"…Barragan-san?" *frowns*

*no response*

"BARRAGAN-SAN? ARE YA ALRIGHT?" *checks pulse*

*no response*

"AIZEN-TAICHOU! BARRAGAN-SAN DIED AGAIN!"

"AGAIN? THAT WOULD BE THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!"

"I am not dead, you imbecile!"

"YER ALIVE AGAIN~!" *glomps the wrinkly oldie*

_Entry 422_

"TIA-CHAAAN!"

"GET OUT YOU PERVERT!"

*gets cero'ed*

"GUESS WHAT!"

"WHAT? I'M A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW!"

"YER IN DA LEAD WITH GRIM-JOW IN DA BOSS CONTEST!"

"How many votes do I have?"

"Ya and Grim-jow have 3! YA TWO WON!"

"Gin…?"

"Ya?"

*manipulates water to make boiling hot water crash onto Gin* _AN: SPOLIER: actually, if you watched the latest Bleach episode and the Arrancar Encyclopedia, than she can actually do that._

"GET OUT."

"Why?"

"I don't know…maybe because I'm taking a bubble bath while eating mini chocolates?"

"Say hiya ta Ulquiorra fer me!" *shunpo's away*

"What are you talking about? Ulquiorra isn't in he-WTF? ULQUIORRA GET OUT!"

_Entry 423_

"Ouch…"

"…Why…were ya in there, Ulqui-orra?"

"…Grimmijow was using my bathtub…and I wanted to have a bubble bath…"

"Why's Grim-jow usin' yer bathtub?"

"Nnoitra Jiruga is using his…"

"Why is Nnoit using it?"

"Neliel Tu is using his."

"Why can't she use Tia-chan's?"

"Tia is in there."

"Then why were YOU in there?"

"I wanted to take a bubble bath…"

"Why couldn't ya just use Starrk's bathtub?"

"Coyote was sleeping in there."

"Barragan-san's?"

"Poww destroyed it a while back."

"Asked ta use Tousen-san's?"

"He said no because I wasn't justice enough…"

"Ask ta use Aizen-taichou's?"

"He was singing in his shower…"

"Why didn't ya ask me?"

"…I never thought about that…"

_Entry 424_

"Nnoitra, what're band aids for?"

"Thought ya knew better, Gin. They're for protecting skin or whatever crap from Germans, I mean germs." _AN: XD My brother asked me that and I accidentally said Germans XD LOL_

"So BAND AIDSPROTECT YOU FROM ULQUIORRA? He's a German, right?"

"…Go ask him…"

*a while later*

"No, you imbecile, band aids stop blood flow and protect the wound from germs. NOT Germans. Do I look like a threat to a paper cut?"

_Entry 425_

"GRIMMY-KITTY, YA WON DA BOSS CONTEST!"

"YEAH! YAY!"

"Wanna bother Aizen-taichou with me?"

"SURE!"

~G~ a bit later

"Aizen…-sama?"

"Yes, my blue, kitty-like son?"

"Doesn't you butt hurt after sitting in that stone chair all day?"

"Actually-"

(_AN: OMFG. I just realized I never said what happened to Grimmijow if he was a he or she XD. Uh…I'll use my magical powers as G. Ai Inoue to turn him guy and pretend he has been a he since the beginning of the chapter XD)_

"Is it a massage chair, too? Wouldn't your but feel weird afterwards?"

"No, um…"

"Are all your chairs massaging chairs?"

"NO, I-"

"Do you stick a small pillow in your pants?"

"N-…Yes, actually…"

"REALLY? I should do that! Those chairs in the meeting hall are HARD."

"Is that why you don't have good posture?"

"Well…yeah…"

"You know almost all the Espada use pillows…accept Tia, Aaroniero, and Szayel Apporo."

"You mean ULQUIORRA uses a small pillow in his pants too?"

"He was the one that thought of it^^"

_Entry 426_

"Hm…"

"What's wrong, Szay-kun?"

"I am having a little trouble…"

"With what?"

"Naming my new stuffed animal frog…"

"The one that Starrk threw at yer face? Ohh, he got that from Adventure Land!"

"I know. I cannot think of a name for it…It's emerald green like Ulquiorra's eyes and blue like Grimmijow's."

"It also got a pretty black design, I see!"

"I do not know what to name it…Ilforte keeps saying that I should name it…"

"Why don't ya name it Ulquiorra the frog?"

"Ulquiorra cero'ed me for that…"

"Grimmijow the frog?"

"Grimmijow bala'ed me for that…"

"Ilforte the frog?"

"Nii-san had Grimmijow cero me for that."

"…Grantz Frog?"

"Ilforte then decided to cero and bala me."

"Then what?"

"I sonido'ed to get away. But I still would like to name the frog…"

"Ichimaru Gin the Frog!"

"No."

"Why~?"

"Because- Hey… it DOES have blue eyes like you…"

"Ya!"

"No…"

"Aizen the frog?"

"Aizen-sama took away my 8th Chemistry Set. It was my favorite, too…"

(_AN: I have a frog like they described XD. I CAN'T THINK OF A NAME. But its emerald green like Ulquiorra's eyes and blue tummied and blue eyed like Grimmijow/Gin… Oh, the pretty black designs part, too… I can't think of a name! My grandma keeps asking me if it has a name and I should name it because my 7 year old cousin names all of hers XDDD I WANNA NAME IT. The only name I can think of is Kirai, which I think means hate… Since Grimmijow and Ulquiorra hate each other and all XD…_

_Entry 427_

"NELIEL TU-SAN~"

"Cero."

"Owiee…"

"Don't bother me!"

"Why?"

"I'm taking a bubble bath and eating mini chocolates…"

"I wanna bother someone!"

"_Utae (declare), __Gamuza!" __(AN: I don't remember, is it Gamuza, or Gamusa? IDK, please correct me if I'm wrong)_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_NOW I'll end the chapter! ^^_

Ulquiorra: Espada Snack Time…

Gin: Uh…there ain't anything to eat!

Tia: Here *chews* they are Mini Chocolates.

Neliel: Yeah! They're really yummy^^

Ulquiorra: *tries one*

Szayel, Grimmijow, Gin, Nnoitra, Starrk, and Barragan wait for his reaction.

Ulquiorra: It is…DELICIOUS! *eats all of them that he can eat*

Barragan: Che, Ulquiorra Cifer, if you eat too many then you might get a sugar rush…

Ulquiorra: Barragan, I will not. As Cuarto Espada, I can control myself!

Gin: Ulquiorra…ya know how ya asked if ya look like a threat ta a paper cut?

Ulquiorra: Do I look like threat to a little paper cut, Gin?

Grimmijow: Well…yeah…you were and are holding a staple gun, a hot glue gun, a bag of salt, and a very ouchie looking piece of paper…

Ulquiorra: *whispers to Grimmijow* Shut. Up. They are part of Operation-Annoy-Ichimaru-Gin-Until-He-Gets-Some-Sanity!

Grimmijow: Make me shut up! 

Ulquiorra: I'll give you cat nip.

Grimmijow: And…?

Ulquiorra: *sigh* that ball of yarn AND that pink box I found that contained Hello Kitty stickers… (_AN: I do not own Hello Kitty. I watched it once and OMFG it made me crack up at the innocent-ness and…stuff XD)_

Grimmijow: *proud he got what he wanted* Thank you~

_AN: SCREW the dinner thingy ma-bobber! We'll pretend that the Espada refused to come and Aizen…uh…had an important deal he had to do… Which was to play a chess tournament with Barragan, Tousen, and Ulquiorra… BOSS CONTEST RESULTS! (again)_

_FINAL SCORES:_

_Coyote Starrk, Primera Espada: 1 vote_

_Ulquiorra Cifer, Cuarto Espada, 2 votes_

_Grimmijow Jaegerjacues, Sexta Espada, and Tia Harribel, Espada Tres, 3 votes._

_I'm getting bored of waiting for votes, so I'll end at three votes…_

_CONGRATS TO TIA AND GRIM-JOW!_

_Gin: YA! Now I'll…sing a song…'bout it…_

_Har-ri-i-bel won! And so did Grim-my!_

_They should be so happy!_

_But they look so mad…_

_Harribel and Grimmijow: We are very pissed, at you-u-u-u-u, be-e-cause of what you did…_

_Grimmijow: Like stealing my cat toys!_

_Harribel: And eating my chocolates!_

_Harribel and Grimmijow: We ha-ate your guts, go crawl under a ro-ock, we hope you get lonely and fro-o-own too!_

To the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas in some twisted way…XD

Oh, side note, I'm not gonna continue Not So Happy Ending… I'll leave it at a one-shot, even though I already have the second chapter thingy typed up. XD It involved water balloons!

Ah, heck, I'll just let you guys read it. If you REALLY want me to continue it, I'll consider it…

This is what it _would have_ looked like if I posted it. Read it first if you want and maybe please tell me if I should continue?

Not So Happy Ending

Written by G. Ai Inoue

Characters in this chapter: Grimmijow, Ulquiorra, and Nnoitra

Spoilers: YES.

AN: I'm writing this on a charter bus at…between 8 AM and 10AM. If it sucks, well, I'm on a bus, it's moving, typos promised (XD) and uh… I just watched the episode at probably 5 or 6 in the freakin' morning. This might be a suck-ish chapter. BTW, what I just typed up there is written way before I even watched the episode XD. So…this might suck.

Chapter 2! Grimmijow's POV: Water Balloons

~G~

I gave that Ulqui Cifer a look that said 'Haha we get vanilla milkshakes and you hate it!'

"Stop it!" said Ulquiorra angrily as he crossed his arms and pouted.

"I'm not doing anything!" I said with a smirk. He seems to be good at reading people's minds. Smart-ish. Whatever, we're all smart. We _are_ reincarnated Espada. That's all I remember though…

"Yes you are! You're…looking at me!" he said a he stuck the spoon in his mouth. "An' it'd nod nice!" Hm…maybe not that smart… He should take the spoon out of his mouth… now there's vanilla dots all over the table…gross…

"I'm gonna go home now. You're no fun. Maybe the Leroux neighbors will be nicer," I hopped outta my chair and ran out the door, yelling a 'bye-bye and thank you for the milkshakes' to Mrs. Cifer.

When I got to the next house, I knocked on the door and a scary tall kid stared me down. He had black hair and was TALL.

"What do you want?" He sounded like he was my age! He had long hair like a girl too…

"I'm Grimmijow Jaggerjacues! Are you Zommari? Cuz I heard that the Leroux has a kid named Zommari…"

"No, stupid. I'm Nnoitra Jiruga, Ulquiorra's cousin." YES! He used the word stupid, unlike the four year old Ulquiorra.

"Nice to meet ya! Wanna help me pull a prank on your cousin? He gets really annoying and thinks stupid is a bad word," Nnoitra grinned, which is kinda creepy, but he came outside to start planning with me! It turns out he's five… Nnotira is YOUNGER than me!

"Alrighty! Ulquiorra likes Dracula, his little plush thingy a lot. Let's take it and throw it into the pool tomorrow morning! Aunt Lacey, his mom, gave me a time out for calling Ulquiorra stupid, so we'll take Dracula and throw it into the pool. In the morning, Ulquiorra is really grumpy if he doesn't have Dracula and his morning apple juice. His mom will be so annoyed!"

"Sounds like a good idea! But can ya wake me up in the morning? I'll bring water balloons if you do…" I am really good at bribing people. They don't even know it sometimes!

"Hm… Let's see… If I wake ya up, you bring water balloons… After Ulquiorra runs to the side of the pool, you'll climb up the tree, we'll pelt him with the water balloons, and he'll fall in!"

"Good idea! Wanna sleep over?"

~G~

"Stupid Aunt Lacey…" muttered Nnoitra as he nudged my cat with his foot.

"I can't believe Mrs. Cifer had Ulquiorra sleepover, too…" I said as Ulquiorra walked into the room. He was holding Dracula and a small duffle bag.

"Hi Nnoitra. I drew those pictures you wanted," he said as Nnoitra suddenly turned red and pushed Ulquiorra out into the hall. He followed him and left me alone in my room.

"Some people are so weird, Mister Fluffer," I said to my cat. He meowed and jumped out the window…again. "Mister Fluffer! Dad didn't build a railing yet! You could fall off the roof…again!"

Does that cat listen to me? No. He jumped…again… At least he landed in the hammock this time… Last time, he landed in the fish pond…

"Fine, fine…here's your dollar…" muttered Nnoitra as he handed Ulquiorra his money.

"And…?" What is up with this kid? He just got his money.

"Thank you, Ulquiorra…" The four year old grinned happily before coming over to Blots (My trusty blue striped cat plush) and picked him up.

"Nnoitra, why didn't you bring Nellie over? She would've had fun with Dracula and Grimmijow's blue cat." Nnoitra blushed again I think.

"What are ya talkin' about, Ulquiorra?" yelled Nnoitra as he grabbed Dracula. Uh-oh… He ran out of the house while I had to run and fill up a buncha water balloons…

"WAHHHH! NNOITRA! PLEASE SLOW DOWN! Give me back Dracula!" yelled the green eyes brat as he ran after Nnoitra. (_AN: First time around, I left out the T in brat XDDD)_

"MOM! MOM! MOM!" Mom looked like she had one of those things called a heart attack.

"What's wrong, Grimmy?"

"I need water balloons."

"After dinner."

"NO! I NEED THEM _NOW_!" I knew Mommy was gonna say no, so I pulled out my secret weapon!

"B-b-b-but… Nnoitra is my first friend here! I-if we don't get water balloons… I'M GONNA DRINK COFFEE TOMRROW!" Yeah! That always works, coffee tastes yucky, but Mom hates it when I drink it! She says I go Caffeine Crazy…

"NO! I mean… Fine, go get them…" I was out da door already! Fillin' up a buncha water balloons, I ran outside with them all.

Uh-oh… I wasn't allowed to cross the street without someone watching me… That's when Zommari, our other neighbor came by!

"ZOMMARI WILL YOU PRETTY PLEASE CROSS THE STREET WITH ME?"

~G~

"What took you so long, Grim?" asked Nnoitra from a bush.

"Zommari said I had ta ask politely or he'd throw me across…"

"He did that to me once! It was AWESOME!" I just grabbed Dracula from Nnoitra and handed him a few balloons. Since I was the only one that knew how to climb a tree, I climbed up.

"GIVE ME BACK DRACULA! HE ONLY LIKES HEIGHTS WHEN I'M WITH HIM!" yelled Ulquiorra as he tried climbing the tree.

"CHUCK IT." I threw it into the middle of the pool. That little brat cried!

"I WANT DRACULA!" Hehe, he looked funny while crying and swimming. I _almost_ felt bad for him.

"HAHAHAHAHAHHHAAA!" Once Ulquiorra got out of the pool (turns out the brat can swim), Nnoitra pelted him with the water balloons!

"_**MOMMY! NNOITRA AND TRASHY GRIMMIJOW ARE BEING GEIZHALS!"**_

"GRIMMIJOW…JAGGERJACUES, I am calling your mother right now!" I was about to say something about Nnoitra, but it turns out he ran away so he wouldn't get in trouble!

That STUPID STUPID SPOON!

NOT A HAPPY ENDING. **AT **_**ALL**_

Hm…

Well…since I got to pelt water balloons at Ulquiorra and throw Dracula into a pool… There's a bit of happiness…

Not _so _happy ending…

_AN:_

_NOOOO! I WASN'T ABLE TO WATCH IT THIS MORNING! I WOKE UP AT 5:30 AM FOR NOTHING!  
_

_And again…_

_EFF YOU ICHIGO!_

_Next might be someone's POV…idk who… Also… *spoiler alert*_

_FUCK YOU AIZEN SOSUKE FOR KILLING TIA HARIBEL!_

_TBC SEE YA NEXT WEEK!_

I had a tiny writer's block thingy ma-bobber…

Oh well, NEXT CHAPTER: *something related to the Boss Contest, IDK yet*

THANK YOU FOR THE OH SO MANY THAT IS MORE THAN 100 REVIEWS!

Please click the button under this message.

Stare at it…you know you want to press it and type something nice^^ I'll give you a nice glomp, and force the other's to glomp you too! Heck, sometimes when I'm bored I click on a reviewer's name and read one of their fanfics! Good job everyone so far!

And…uh…I'll know you exist^^

CLICK THE PRETTY BUTTON WITH THE REVIEW WORD IN IT! :D


	41. Queen Halibel

This is mah diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Say hi, Diary-kun^^ Ah well, this is known as the 41st Chapter.

Entry 428-435: Queen Halibel

_Entry 428_

"My…my love! I have missed you! *cries*"

"We must run, Mia! The dog hunter is after Fluffy! I am putting your dog in danger just by being here!"

"*le gasp* Screw my dog! I love you!"

TRASHY TRASHY SOAP OPERAS!

My re-write *sigh I missed writing them…

"You! You came back!"

"Yes, I am back…you dog is in danger because I am here."

"*slight gasp*beotch slaps the fool! XD* LEAVE YOU TRASHY IDIOTIC IMBECILE!"

_Entry 429_

"I am now Primera Espada for the week! MWAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Ne, Tia-chan, ya alright?"

"YES! HAHAHAHA!"

Ulquiorra: *mumbles about Days of Our Lives* (AN: I don't own it XD)

"Ulquiorra, stop watching soap operas and do my paper work!"

"…Yes, Tia…"

"What was that?" 

"*sigh* Yes, Tia-sama…"

"*cough* NOT OOD ENOUGH *cough*"

"Hai, Tia_-hime_?"

"NO."

"Queen Tia?" 

"NO."

"Queen Halibel?"

"Thank you, my most trusty butler, Ulquiorra Cifer! I pronounce you the Segunda Espada for a weem!"

"Wha…?"

_Entry 430_

"Halibel-chan! What're you-?"

"I'm taking your journal."

"It's a diary. An' take care o him! Greet him like dis: Mornin'/Hiya, Diary-kun."

"…No. I will just write in it like a normal person."

"Yeah, we're all normal cuz _everyone_ is unique."

"…"

"Bye-bye, Diary-kun!"

_Entry 431_

I am so bored right now…

Oh, I remember, I was supposed to dip that bastardo Nnotira Jiruga in the pot of boiling cheese…

"ULQUIORRA, MAKE A LOT A SALSA FOR ME!"

"Yes…_Queen_ Halibel…" he muttered.

"GRIMMIJOW, MAI, SZAYEL, GET THE GIANT CHIPS FOR ME!"

"*GASP* _THE_CHIPS?"

"YUP!"

_Entry 432_

*knock knock*

Apache (my trusty, loyal blue haired fraccion): Who's there?

Me: Tia Halibel.

Apache: Tia Halibel who?

Me: YOUR BOSS, IDIOT.

_AN: If you don't get it, Apache thought it was a knock knock joke lolz)_

_Entry 433_

*cow boy music like when they have a show down*

Mai: Ulquiorra-sama…I'm not sure if that is necessary…

Me: *glares at Grimmijow*

Grimmijow: *glares at me*

"Grr…"

"Grr…"

Ulquiorra: May I suggest that trashy Grimmijow be King Primera and _Queen_ Halibel is Queen Primera?

Grimmijow and me: EFF NO!

Aizen-sama: I now pronounce you Kin and Queen Primera. Starrk and Lilnette will be the Cero Espada!

Lilynette: YAY!

Starrk: Yay…?

_Entry 434_

Ha-ha-ha.

I'm not going to dip Jiruga-baka into the pot of boiling cheese until next time!

Fear me.

Why?

…

I don't really know…

_Entry 435_

I have figured out why you should fear!

I am Primera for the Week!

Queen Halibel!

But Aizen-sama said you are Queen Primera…

Ulquiorra, it would sound weird because Starrk is the Primera and it would make it sound like I'm married to him.

Grimmijow is the Primera though.

Then it would sound like I'm married to him.

Not really…He prefers to be called King Grim.

Che, King Grim and Queen Halibel. Not bad.

He claims that he is related to some man named The Grim Reaper.

_END CHAPTER_

_TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY! YES! Just a random FYI, I just write and go. I don't think too much about these entries. I just write…and freaked out about the spider I saw XD_

_I'm gonna stop the Espada Snack Time for now. Sorry for any one who liked it._

_Wow, I don't do this enough, but I have to say…_

_I don't own Bleach! Tite Kubo, the genius man, does!_

_EDIT: SHIT, did anyone notice that I got the entry numbers off by 100? Check the chapters before and check the numbers and then recheck this ones._

_Unless I already fixed it.._

_SHIZ, SORRY ABOUT IT._


	42. King Grim

This is mah diary, Ichimaru Gin' Diary.

Ne, I wonder if Tia-cha- I mean Queen Halibel has been takin' care of ya, Diary-kun…

Entry 436-445: King Grim

_Entry 436_

"Grimmijow, what are you doing?"

"Shut up, D-Roy! I'm taking Ichimaru's journal so I can write in it."

"But Queen Halibel was writing in it…"

"Well, as you can see, she's ASLEEP."

"Whatever you say, King Grim. Whatver you say."

"Ngh…"

"OH SHIZZLE! SHE MIGHT WAKE UP! Move, move, move!"

"Wha…?"

"It doesn't matter if I'm King, she's a higher rank and everyone knows that Ulquiorra is the only one that can mess up Harribel's room and live!" 

*once they are outside her quarters*

"Why is it that only Ulquiorra-san can mess up her room and live? Isn't he weaker than her? And Barragan-sama and Starrk-sama is a higher rank than her…"

"You see, Ulquiorra could regenerate."

"And…?"

"Halibel usually gives a nice and hard kick to the balls to whoever messes up her room."

"Ha-ha-ha! You mean Ulquiorra-san and regenerate his-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE MY PALACE?"

"RUN! EFFIN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

_Entry 437_

I hate that Halibel…

Why do you hate Queen Primera?

Che, Shawlong, you know how I was going to have Ulquiorra be my slave?

Yes, I do remember, sir. You talked about it everywhere you went…including the shower. Do you expect us to sit outside your door and listen?

You heard that…? Anyways, SHE made Ulquiorra her butler!

Why don't you just both have him as a butler?

Good idea, hey, Shawlong?

Yes, King Grim?

Go get Ulquiorra.

He is currently making chocolates in the kitchen. Should I interrupt?

Like I would care, just get him here.

*a bit later*

**What do you need, **_**King**_** Grim?**

Get your sister for me.

**I don't have a sister…**

MAI.

**Your what? (AN: He's thinking Mai as in my)**

MAI!

**Your what?**

NO. Mai as in MAI CIFER.

**Ohhhh…**

I could have done that, sir…

I know, but Ulquiorra needs to start working.

**I was making chocolates…**

Ulquiorra-san, you weren't making chocolates, you were burning them.

**I do believe that is in the process of making them.**

No, Ulquiorra-san, there was literally fire burning the oven. Tousen-sama had to come and take it out.

JUST GO GET MAI.

_Entry 438_

Well, I'm taking this little journal with me as I go and get Mai.

Where is she? She isn't in my quarters, Grimmijow's, or Tia's…or Apporo's.

"Mai, come out, come out wherever you are…"

"Ulquiorra Cifer, she isn't a dog. She is an owl. And what are you doing?"

"Barragan, I-"

"*COUGH COUGH CHOKE CHOKE*"

"*sighs* _Lord_ Barragam, I am looking for her since Grimmijow requested it."

"Ah, you finally befriended him."

"NO. I-"

"BARRAGAN, I'M HUNGRY! GO AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH!" 

"Yes, _Queen_ Halibel…"

"Good luck."

"Yes…I will need it…"

"I DON'T HEAR YOU OPENING A BAG OF BREAD!"

_Entry 439_

"Mai…"

"Yes, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"What are you…?"

"I'm preparing the salsa for Queen Halibel's amusement party tomorrow…"

"You need to come with me."

"No, I'm-"

"You have to."

"Why?"

"I need you to come because-"

"You make it sound…wrong…"

"Wha…? *realization comes like 4 tons of…bat plushies* EFF NO. Grimmijow sent me to get you."

"Fine…What does he want?"

"To declare his undying love for you and make you his wife."

"_**WHAT?**_NO!"

"I was being sarcastic, Mai."

_Entry 440_

"Hello, _King_ Grim. What do you need?"

"Hey, Mai! *whispers to Shawlong* Go and get the roses."

"I have brought her here. Now I must go and make those chocolates."

"Bye, Ulquiorra-sama!"

"Bye, Emo-car. ANYWAYS, Mai, please sit down^^"

*looks around* "Where…?"

"Uh…Just come here."

"Okay…"

*Shawlong whispers to Grimmijow* "I have just put them in your hands that are behind your back."

"Mai…"

"Yes, _King_ Grim?"

*brings out roses* "I love you so much! Please be my wife!"

"WHAT? I THOUGHT THAT ULQUIORRA-SAMA WAS BEING SARCASTIC!"

"…I AM being sarcastic, Mai…"

"Oh, thank Kami-sama!" *glomps him*

Grimmijow: *blushes* Now, come with me on a date!

"…Do I have to?"

"Yes^^"

"Damn you."

_Entry 441_

Well, I'm back from my date with Mai!

All I gotta say is that it wasn't the best…

**FLASHBACK**

"So…where is this…date…going to be at…?"

"A fancy restaurant."

"Okay…"

*when we got there*

Now, this is where things started getting bad. Shawlong was supposed to arrange it, but he screwed up.

After we saw the place, I gave Shawlong a call.

"SHAWLONG YOU IDIOT! HOW THE HECK IS JUNGLE BUNGLE SUPPOSED TO BE ROMANTIC AND FANCY RESTAURANT?"

"I thought the place is called Happy Joe's…"

"IT IS, BAKA! HOW THE HECK IS THIS FANCY?"

"It SOUNDED like a nice place to Nakeem and I…" That is when I hung up the phone.

*while we ate the pizza*

"Thanks for taking me to the Living World…" mumbled Mai.

"What?" People were really loud in this place.

"Thanks for taking me to the Living World," she said.

"WHAT?"

"THANKS FOR- HEY YOU, SHUT UP! YOUR MOM KNOWS YOU NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM! YOU DON'T NEED TO SHOUT IT! Where was I? Thanks for taking me to the Living World."

"No problem! Do you want another dri-" That was when something colorful and round hit me. Yup, a stupid plastic ball from the ball pit.

"That wasn't very nice of you," Mai called over to the kids.

"Sowwy!"

"Anyways, do you need another drink?" After that, a few more colorful plastic balls hit me in the head. "HEY."

The little kids giggled. I glared at them.

"No thanks. So how's-" A bunch of colorful little plastic balls hit my head.

"STOP YOU LITTLE BRATS!" I ran after them. They started screaming and running around, of course.

Grabbing a bunch of balls at the ball pit, I pelted them!

"BLUE HAIRED FREAK!" shouted one of the little girls as she shoved me in the pit.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAYS 'IT'S NOT EASY BEING ME'!" Suddenly, half of the kids in the place were chucking colorful balls at me.

"OUCH! OW! EFF THAT HURTS YA LITLE SNOT!"

They kept pelting me as I tried to make a run for it. Suddenly, an ice cream cone with CHOCOLATE (I don't like it) ice cream hit my hair.

"YER GONNA PAY FOR THAT, B****!"

"NO SWEARING!" screamed a little boy as they all pelted me with their foods.

*an hour later*

"I CAN'T SEE! SOMEONE'S COKE GOT IN MY EYES!" Now I was running around the arcade. I wiped some of it outta my face and saw a bottle of Moutain Dew being thrown at Mai.

Jumping and whacking the bottle, it didn't hit her! But it did hit the snotty five year old girl! HA!

"Hey! I bought that!"

Crap.

"Sir, we have to ask you to leave and never come back."

"But those little kids did it!" When we turned around, they were acting as if nothing happened!

"Don't blame this on innocent children, you imbecile."

"Come on Grimmijow, let's go. I'll take care of the Garganta…"

"BUT-"

"NO BUTTS SIR!"

Then after the manager left, the little kids gathered around me. "YOU GOT NO BUTTS!" they yelled at me. I tried SO FREAKIN' HARD TO NOT STRANGLE THEM!

"We're sowwy we for you in trouble, Miss," they said as they hugged Mai.

I think a vein just popped

**END FLASHBACK**

So now, to make a long story short, I can't enter a McDonalds, Happy Joe's, gas station, or candy shop ever again.

_Entry 442_

"Grimmijow…"

"Yeah, Halibel?"

"Why are you covered in…crap?"

"Blame Happy Joe's…"

"I loved that place when I was alive!"

"I hate it…"

"HOW COULD YOU?" 

"I HATE the ball pit…"

"THAT WAS MY FAVORITE!" *slaps him for the heck of it*

_Entry 443_

Every Espada has a crush on someone… (They just don't act like it)

So I went around and made them tell me who they like. I'll write it down.

*AN: Please don't hate me or flame a review for any of these pairings. I'm writing it down as I go along LOL

Starrk likes Halibel. (Who doesn't?)

Barragan KINDA likes Halibel, oh and Sun-Sun. (I'm pretty sure she turned him down already. And Sun-Sun slapped his when she found this out)

Halibel KINDA likes Starrk. (Figures)

Ulquiorra likes (he cero'ed me, so I didn't find out… :(

Nnotira likes Neliel Tu. (He keeps denying it…) But I have a feeling he likes his fraccion Tesla…

I like…Mai… (If you didn't know that, go crawl under a rock and think about it)

Zommari has a mini-crush on Halibel and Nnoitra…. (It explained why he was so happy about carving pumpkins with her…even though after that he passed out in the hallway…but NNOITRA? We need more girls around here)

Szayel KINDA likes Halibel. (So the term Szayel Gay isn't real? DANG IT)

Aaron likes Loly (He-she-it is crazy) and Niero likes Zommari. (We REALLY need more girls around here)

Yammy likes Halibel... (I think I heard Halibel cry when she found out…)

Tousen likes someone from his past… (Figures, it's where the justice freak learned about justice)

Ichimaru likes some lady named Matsumoto. (We ALL knew that)

And Aizen just smiled and blasted me with his reiatsu. (So…we'll just go with he KINDA likes Halibel…or Ulquiorra…even though Ulquiorra says it isn't true…)

_Entry 444_

"Ilforte the funny looking robot!" *AN: I colored a picture of him and Tia. They look funny now that I colored XD So I kept singing Ilforte the funny looking robot!

"I don't look funny, Grimmijow!"

"Your brother does." 

"He looks kinda like me…"

"He has PINK hair!"

"I used to have a tint of pink in my hair…"

"…Szayel and Ilforte the funny looking brothers!"

"SHUT UP."

"NO~!"

_Entry 445_

"Mai~!"

"Yes, _King_ Grim?"

"Call me…Lord Grimmijow!"

"*sigh* Fine… Yes, _Lord _Grimmijow?"

"Kiss me~!"

"Why?"

"Because you like me!"

"No, I don-"

"Because I like you!"

"…"

"Mai?"

"Yes, _Lord_ Grimmijow?"

*kiss*

*a while later*

This is Ulquiorra Cifer writing.

Grimmijow is currently hiding in his closet for his life and dignity.

Why?

Because he kissed Mai.

But this time, she can't murder him.

She CAN, however, push him in Tia's shark pool.

…Run, Grimmijow, run…

Wait… I mean…

Hide, Grimmijow…hide…


	43. Game

This is mah diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary.

I got ya back, Diary-kun!

_**WARNIN'**_: SOMEONE goes naked in dis chapter. Skip Entry 449 if ya don't wanna read it. Also skip it if you don't like tag, or don't wanna see perverted acts. (they don't do nottin', _**NOT**_ RATED M! _**RATEDT **_Also, one certain S-H-I-T word in the same entry.

Entry 446-455: Game

_Entry 446_

"I GOT GAME!"

"NO, I GOT MORE GAME!"

"I'M A MAN!"

"YEAH? AND I'M A WOMAN!"

"MEN GOT MORE GAME!"

"AND YET I'M A HIGHER RANK THAN YOU!"

"What's with all the noise, tra- I mean…You _royal_ pains?"

Both: "I GOT MORE GAME!"

"NO YOU DON'T, YOU STUPID CAT!"

"YES I DO YOU LITTLE FISH!"

"I'M A SHARK."

"I'M A PANTHER."

"GUPPY!"

"KITTEN!"

"Are these supposed to be insults…?"

_Entry 447_

Hm… Queen Halibel and King Grimmy are playin' a bunch o' games ta see who got more game…

Mai-chan, Ulquiorra, Szayel Apporo-kun, me and Aizen-taichou are watchin'

Why not more?

Cuz it happens ta be five in da mornin'

_Entry 448_

"Awww, SCARED? Movin' yer Queen back so she won't get hurt! HAHAHA! What's she going to do? Have a tea party with your King? *moves a piece* CHECK!"

*moves a piece* "Check MATE. HA! I WON, YA OVER GROWN CAT!"

"Alright…so…in the end, after seven…that makes eight…than after that was…uh… after 11 games of chess, the results are that Queen Halibel won the most…"

"Why didn't we stop earlier, Mai-chan?"

"It started as 2 out of 3…but they kept going and apparently, there are a lot of ties and draws…"

"SHUT UP! I GET TO CHOOSE THE NEXT GAME!"

"OH YEAH? BRING IT!"

"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A GAME OF…TAG!"

"BRING IT! I'LL BEAT YOU SO- Wait! Wha…? TAG?"

"YUP!"

_Entry 449_

"WOAH!" *slight swishing sound*

"ALMOST GOT YOU THERE, HALI!"

*swishing sound* "Hali? What are you? My secret admirer now?"

"GAH! *swishing sound* NO! I just shorten girls' names by habit sometimes…"

*swishing sound* "Che, makes it sound like you like me, Jaegerjacues!"

"It's not like I hate you. SCRATCH THAT! HA! COULDN'T TAG ME, LOSER!" *swishing sound*

This is how the game works. Each of them has five small-ish flags pinned to a rope/belt that is tied 'round their bodies. They each have to try and grab the other's flag and whoever loses all the flags first, loses.

"GOT ONE!" *swishing sound*

"Che, I got two already." *swishing sound* (They're usin' sonido if yer wonderin')

"Shut up, you're the one that won't even defend yourself if someone you like attacks you!"

"HEY! SHUT UP! I have enough pride to not hurt a lower rank!"

"I'M RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW!"

"GOT ANOTHER FLAG! HA! Take that, Hali!"

"Chikuso, only two left…" *swish*

"AHHH!" *falls*swish*

"I'm not that stupid!" *swish*

"CRAP!" *swish*

Right now, Tia has two flags and Grim has three!

*a while later*

One and one flag…

"I'm not going to lose to you, Jaegerjacues!"

"I'm not gonna lose! Alright, time to pull out my secret weapon!"

Everyone watching: "Huh…?"

Ulquiorra: "Oh shi-"

*swish*

*blush of embarrassment* "JAEGERJACUES, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

"Che, you like the view, don't ya, Hali?"

Mai: *slight nosebleed* "BAKA- I mean…_Lord_ Grimmijow, PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!"

*swish* "I WON!" *swish* "Look behind you, Mai~"

"NO! LET GO OF ME!" *KICK*

"HOLY SHIT THAT HURTS!" *AN: Guess where she kicked him? XD)

_Entry 450_

Grimmijow: "I challenge you to a game of…hide and seek."

Harribel: "How the heck is that supposed to work?"

"*thinks* I know! We'll be given 20 seconds to hide anywhere in Las Noches! Ichimaru, Mai, Ulquiorra and Szayel Apporo will look for us! We can move anywhere and anytime we want as long as we're still in Las Noches. Whoever gets spotted first loses!"

"Alrighty, ya two! I'll count!"

*swishing sound*

*later on*

"The search is ON! Ulqui-orra, ya check the palaces and the Hougyoku room! Szayel-kun, ya look in the bathrooms, the lower chambers, and the meetin' room. Mai-chan, ya look in the closets and the towers and rooms o' the lower ranked arrancar. I'll look in da throne room, meetin' room B, and da roof o' the Dome!"

*with Ulquiorra*

Gin insisted that I took his "Diary-kun" with me.

I found that Grimmijow has catnip in his room…

The Hougyoku room was empty.

Although, I DID find Aizen-sama sleeping in his chair that is next to it…

*a bit later*

"GAH!"

"Ulquiorra, you didn't SEE me yet, so I just dragged you in here to tell you to clean my toilet."

"…"

"Ulquiorra, I know its dark in here, but you seem paler than usual…"

"!"

"Alright, you're not paler than usual! Don't have to freak out about it…"

"NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AS IN I DO NOT WANT TO CLEAN YOU TOLIET! I took a look in there once and I swear, something was MOVING."

"SHUT UP! I don't want to be found! LEAVE!"

*with Szayel Apporo Grantz*

Ulquiorra just left this in the hallway… So I picked it up after looking in the bathrooms!

There really is nothing here… Everywhere I have looked and I have only found one hair from Harribel's head.

I'm in the meeting room now… I think I heard something under the table-"OOF!"

"A fund ya Haar-y-bell!" AN: His face is pressed against the floor

"No you didn't. Grimmijow said you have to be SPOTTED. You never saw me!"

*a bit later*

Darn that Harribel! She pinned me down than sonido'd away!

This is gonna be harder than I- FOUND SOMEONE!

"OOF!"

"You still never saw me, Szayel!"

"Where'd you get the black robes?"

"I made our prisoner Matsumoto give me a spare so I would blend in. YOU STILL NEVER SAW ME!" *sonido's away*

Darn that Harribel…

*with Mai*

I'm pretty sure I can make Grimmijow come out! *evil grin*

"_LORD _GRIMMIJOW~ IF YOU COME OUT THAN I'LL GIVE YOU A KISS!"

Hm…looks like he's not that stupid…Loly and Menoly looked in the rooms with me and we found nothing. After that, I looked around the towers. It takes FOREVER!

Now…this is the 66th closet I found that is not a private one. How many does Aizen-sama have in the hallways?

"Harribel-sama? Grimmijow? You in here? AHH!" Something pulled me inside the closet and shut the door!

"Hey, Mai."

"FOUND YOU, GRIMMIJOW!"

"It's _Lord_ Grimmijow the rules are to get SPOTTED. Last I checked, you didn't see me yet~!" 

"There's a light switch right behind you…"

"CRAP."

"GET OFF OF ME!"

"But you would click the light switch and I would lose…"

"Will you please get off of me? Your elbow is digging into my side and it hurts…"

"That's not my elbow…"

"…"

"It's my knee…"

"GET OFF ME!"

"Make me."

"I'll scream."

"Che, like that'll work."

"HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME! GRIMMIJOW JUST PULLED ME INTO A CLOSET! HELP!"

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

"TOWER NUMBER-mmphff!"

*kiss* "SEE YA, MAI~!"

That bastard.

That was when I heard a scream.

"U-Ulquiorra-sama?"

"I SWEAR THAT MOVING THING WAS ABOUT TO JUMP OUT AND VOMIT TRASH ALL OVER ME!"

*with Gin*

Everyone's so clueless^^

*a few moments later*

"I see ya Harribel-chan! Yer on the 13th floor, Sector T: hallway 46, Tile 436!"

"WHERE ARE YOU AND HOW DO YOU SEE ME?"

"I tried usin' Szayel-kun's cameras, but he had a password… So I went ta the control room!"

"THAT'S CHEATING!" 

"Grimmijow never said anything 'bout using cameras…"

"HA! YOU LOSE YOU LITTLE FISH!"

_Entry 451_

"I challenge you to…THREE GAMES!"

"What're the games gonna be, Queen Halibel?"

"DDR, karaoke, and the Hugs game! _AN: Hugs game is a game some other girls made up at my school…_

"Wha…?"

"Hugs is also known as Go-Around-Giving-Everyone-Hugs-And-Whoever-Gets-The-Most-Hugs-Win!"

"…ALRIGHT! I'M GONNA CREAM YA IN DDR!"

"OH YEAH? WELL I'LL BEAT YOU SO BAD THAT YOU'LL CRY IN KARAOKE!"

"I'M WINNING!"

"What's the score anyways?" 

"Queen Halibel won chess and King Grim won Tag and Hide n Seek!"

"YOU CHEATED IN TAG!"

"NO ONE EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THAT!"

"IT'S COMMON SENSE!"

"WELL…MAYBE I'M LACKING SOME OF THAT DUE TO YOUR STUPIDITY!"

"I'M WAY SMARTER THAN YOU!"

"YEAH YOU ARE!"

"…"

"…"

"TO THE DDR ROOM!"

Mai: "Since when did we have a Dance Dance Revolution Room?"

Ulquiorra: "Gin installed it… He wants us to call it the DDRR…"

Grimmijow and Halibel: "LET'S DANCE!"

_Entry 452 AN: I'm just using random songs that my brother is thinking of. So not a word considering that I only played the game like once or twice and it was a while ago XD They had one at the movie theaters and it had Japanese songs^^_

"I'll choose the song…Be Somewhere…" _AN: It's one of the opening themes to Rockman Exe. … If you want to listen to it, it's called Be Somewhere by Buzzy (I'm pretty sure)_

"Alright! It is ON like the light above our heads!"

"That's a very dim light…"

"This may be da DDRR, but the quality sucks since Aizen-taichou didn't know much 'bout normal lightbulbs…"

"Fine…I mean it is ON like the emo in Ulquiorra!"

"Hey!"

"IT IS _**ON**_**, JAEGERJACUES!**"

Machine: GOOD. GOOD. MISS! PERFECT! ALL RIGHT! MISS! YOU SUCK. ALRIGHT!

Wow…that was an interesting first few steps for Grimmjow and Tia…they tied in this dance!

"I'LL CHOOSE THE NEXT SONG!"

"BRING IT, BAKA-NEKO!"

"I choose… Change by Miwa _AN: Latest opening in Bleach! Still upset that Ulqui died :( _

"Who knew that the dance is so fast?"

"CRAP I THINK I ALMOST TRIPPED!"

"UGH! STUPID CRAMP!"

*At the end of the game* Machine: Player 2: FAIL! Player 1: Wins by three points!

"YEAH! TAKE HALI!"

"SHUT UP! I HAD A CRAMP!"

"I'll choose a random song… Ichirin no Hana (AN: I THINK that's what it's called. It's like the second or third opening in Bleach…)

Machine: BOO! YOU SUCK! STOP DANCING, PLAYER 2! AWESOME! PERFECT PLAYER ONE!

"Looks like I won, _Queen_ Halibel!"

"SHUT UP! NEXT WE DO KARAOKE!"

"BRING. IT. ON!"

_Entry 453_

"M'kay, Mai-chan, Ulqui-orra, and I all chose songs! I chose Stay Beautiful!"

"I have chosen Pink, which Szayel Apporo sang."

"And I picked Rolling Star!"

*LATER ON*

"_Yume ni made mita yon a sekai wa…"_

"Who knew that _Queen_ Halibel could sing?"

"Wow…Grimmjow sucks at this song…"

Machine: YOU SUCK. MY ARTIFICIAL EARS ARE BLEEDING, SEXTA.

*A bit later*

"Tia-chan *cough* obviously *cough* won the first round! Next song!"

"_You say hate me please…All over the world…_"

"Wow...Grimmjow is pretty good at the song…but so is Harribel-sama…"

Machine: BEAUTIFUL! BEATIFUL! IF I HAD EYES I WOULD CRY AT THE BEAUTY!

"It was pretty close, but Grim-jow won! Next is the song I chose!"

"…My spirit so strong! So tough! Tough! Tough! STAY BEAUTIFUL~! W-OH OH OH!"

"TIA-CHAN WON THAT SONG!"

"DA RESULTS OF GAMES SO FAR! Halibel won Chess and Karaoke! Grimmjow won Tag, Hide n Seek, and DDR!"

"HA, I'M WINNING!"

"ONLY BY ONE POINT BAKA!"

"BRING IT!"

"I"LL SERVE IT TO YOU ON A SILVER PLATTER!"

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

"OH YEAH?"

"_YEAH!_ LET'S JUST GO TO THE HUGS NOW!"

_Entry 454_

"Alright, we're each given one hour to give as many hugs as possible!"

"Ready, ya two?"

"HAI!"

"Set…"

"I'M GONNA BEAT UP YER BEHIND AND SERVE IT TA YOU ON A GOLDEN PLATE!"

"ONLY IF YOU CAN CATCH ME!"

"GO!"

"YAAAAA!"

*with Halibel*

"Ichimaru, since I can't hug you, since you're the judge, I'll show you how I plan to win this^^"

"M'kay…"

"Hey, Jiruga~"

"Whaddya want, girly-san?"

"Can I have a hug~?"

"Eff no!"

"Please~?" *upzips jacket an inch*

"S-sure!"

*hugs*

"Okay, bye!" *sonido's away*

"Yammy-kun, Zommari, can I have a hug?"

"Why?"

"Just because…" *unzips jacket another inch* (AN: Her jacket unzips from the bottom if you remember)

*double hugs* "Thank you~ Bye now."

*with Grim-jow*

*hugs* "Thanks Mai…"

"No problem! That's your, like, 11th hug, right?"

"No…that was my first…"

"Oh…"

"Hey! Loly, Menoly, give me a hug!"

"No, you stupid cat!"

"S-sure, King Grim…" *Menoly (blonde one) hugs awkwardly*

"Loly, I'll let you be my first hand maid! You can wear whatever you want, see Aizen more, and show off."

"You got a deal!" *hugs*

"Really, Lord Grimmjow?"

"Yup! And you're my Queen!"

"Harribel-sama is I thought…"

"You're my Princess that is my real love while Halibel just helps me rule the place!"

"…I'm flattered...?"

*with Halibel*

"Good bye, Kaname-sama."

"Good luck, Tia."

"Aizen-sama…" *bows*

"Hello, dear Tia. Do you need anything today?"

"Just a small favor if you wish to comply, Aizen-sama…"

"What is it?"

"Will you give me a hug?" *nods down innocently, jacket is unzipped to a very suggestive lenth…*

"Sure, Tia." *hugs*

*in the end*

"Aizen-sama should count as two people…"

"Fine, but only if Aaroniero counts as two also."

"Crap, I didn't get him… Oh well." 

"So…in da end… Grimmjow has 5 hugs…and Tia-chan has…*counts* 83 hugs…"

"HA! I WON!"

"No, all in all with Games, ya tied!"

"NOW WHAT?"

_Entry 455_

Alright, Ichimaru Gin here! 

Queen Tia Halibel and King Grimmjow Jaegerjacues wanna see who got game.

So YOU READERS HAVE TA AND I MEAN _**HAVE TA**____**send in truths and dares! Whoever cracks first is gonna lose game!**_

_Mai Cifer here, and next chapter, Ulquiorra-sama, Ichimaru-sama, Szayel Apporo-san (for emergency purposes), and I will be there. You can have us humiliate the two and stuff._

TRUTHS AND DARES! Have anything involving Ulquorra, Szayel, Mai, Grimmjow, Tia, and me.

BUT THE TRUTHS AND DARES _**HAVE**_ TO BE DIRECTED AT TIA AND GRIMMJOW! WE CAN TAKE PART, BUT NOTHING AT US DIRECTLY!

Ya CAN do 'if they do that what is your reactions' though…

_Please send them in! _

_**-Ichimaru Gin and Mai Cifer**_


	44. AN With Gin

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary.

Hey, this ain't a real chapter! It's an "AN" with me! Ya should read it!

We just took a picture fer da cover o Diary-kun! Tia-chan, er…_Queen Halibel _was there, Ulqui-orra was there, I was there, and even Grim-jow!

Mai-chan couldn't fit in the picture…

But enough 'bout me! (Not really in mah opinion!) Here's da author's note!

_**Hey everyone, it's me! G. Ai Inoue!**_

_**THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS! IF I KNEW YOU GUYS I'D GLOMP YOU ALL! XD I LUV YA GUYS! **_

_If you guys wanna see the picture than I can send a link…_

_ book .?pid=404 554&id=100000169832712&saved#!pid=404554&id=100000169832712_

_If it doesn't show up, than please tell me and I will PM it to you._

_I wasn't able to fit my OC, Mai Cifer in the picture, but since my pictures are on Facebook, than if you look around, you'll find a blue haired girl somewhere. She is Arrancar No. 87, Mai Cifer._

_**I'M STILL WORKING ON THE SO CALLED TRUTH OR DARE THING.**_

_**IMPORTANT CATCH TO IT: BETWEEN TIA HALIBEL AND GRIMMJOW JAEGERJACUES ONLY! IT CAN INVOLVE ANOTHER PERSON, BUT IT MUST BE DIRECTLY AT THEM. PLEASE SEND THEM IN! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY!**_

Arigato, minna-chan~! Please review! If ya do, I'll…GLOMP YA!

_Yup, Ichimaru-san will glomp you! SO WILL I! Also, if you have a Facebook, send me a friend request if you want… Just try and tell me who you are too LOL _

Whatever dis FACEBOOK yer talkin' bout sounds weird! Is it a book 'bout faces? Cuz it sounds 'lot like a book bout faces…

…_Actually-_

Who would wanna read a book bout faces? Sure, it's better den helpin' Tousen-san and Aizen-san with dere paperwork, but a BOOK BOUT FACES?

_Never mind… Anyways, friend me if you want! And I'll PM the link of the picture to whoever wants to see it. Also, please don't mind that I am probably younger than a bunch of people XD…So send in truths and dares for Grim and Hali and ask for the link if it doesn't show up XD_

So confusin… How old are ya? Three in Livin Years?

_No! Three year olds can't type!  
_

So? Are ya a child prodigy like moi?

_I wish, but-_

I can say it much simpler! TRUTH AN' DARES FER HALI AND GRIM! Ask ta see da picture if it don't show up! An' don't bother G. Ai Joe 'bout her age!

_I'M NOT G. I. JOE! Do I look like a guy to you?_

Actually-

_I have long-ish-y hair like a girl!_

Ulquiorra has long-ish-y hair…

_Hey- … His hair DOES seem longer than mine sometimes…_

Ya look like him.

_NO I DON'T! So what if I have black hair? I'm not green eyed and I don't look like him AT ALL! Yer eyes are pretty bad! (I wish I did look like him though XD)_

…Yer a fangirl, ain't ya?

_Maybe~ Anyways, __**REVIEW, TRUTH AND DARE FOR GRIM AND HALI, FACEBOOK LINK, AND THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!  
**_

Ja bai bai, Minna-chan~ See ya 'round!


	45. Kitten VS Guppy!

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary.

Ya can call him Diary-kun!

Entry 456-462: Tia/Halibel/Queen/Shark/Guppy VS Grimmjow/Jaegerjacues/King/Panther/Kitten

_Entry 456_

Tia VS Grimmjow!

"Tia, yer dare is ta shout out who ya like ta ALL O HUECO MUNDO! That should be hard, considering da size."

"Grimmjow, your dare is to-"

"Ulquiorra, ya can't read it! *whispers to Grimmjow* Yer dare is ta burn Dracula, Ulquiorra's bat plushie!"

"Halibel gets it easy!"

*GAME* (also known as scene change XD)

"DEAR HUECO MUNDO! TO PROVE THAT I HAVE GAME AS A QUEEN, I MUST SHOUT OUT WHO I LIKE TO ALL OF HUECO MUNDO! I KINDA LIKE COYOTE STARRK, PRIMERA ESPADA!"

"YOU'RE SO LUCKY, STARRK!" screams a bunch of guys.

Starrk: *snores*wakes up* Huh?

*GAME*

*humming Pink Panther theme song* "Alrighty, I got the lighter!"

*grins evily as he gets through Ulquiorra's hallways and into his room. GRINS LIKE A MANIAC AS HE WATCHES POOR DRACULA BURN*

"EFF YOU, JAEGERJACUES! NO ONE HURTS DRACULA! GRAN REY CERO!"

"NOOOOOO!"

"I WILL AVENGE YOU, DRACULA!"

_Entry 457_

Halibel VS Jaegerjacues!

"Grim-jow! Ya gotta survive one minute in Tia-chan's shark tank!"

"HA! Mia, my favorite shark, just had another baby and it is hungry!"

"And Tia-chan, ya got a truth. Do ya got a crush on Starrk?"

"…Yeah…"

"SHE HAS IT SO MUCH EASIER!"

*GAME* (which means scene change in this chapter^^)

"OUCH! OUCH! I THOUGHT SHARKS DON'T EAT PEOPLE?"

"They don't! Arrancar aren't people! They especially like to eat Espada, since that was what happened a long time ago…but I trained them so they wouldn't eat me!"

"THAT'S Mia? SHE'S HUGE!"

"No! That Babe, Mia's baby!"

"GOOD BABE! DON'T HURT ME! CERO!" *cero is kinda weak under water*

"BABE! NO! How could you Grimmjow?"

"Are ya crying, Tia-chan…?"

"What would you do if she died? I would kill you, Jaegerjacues! I may be crying, but I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO HURT BABE!"

"HOLY BLOTS WHAT IS THAT?"

"Oh…meet Mob, Babe's daddy."

"AHHHHHHH!"

"YOU DESERVE IT! COME ON MOB! SCARE THE BAD CAT!"

"EFF YOU BABE!"

"BABE MAY BE LITTLE, BUT SHE ALMOST KILLED AARONIERO!"

"AHHH!"

_Entry 458_

Queen VS King!

"Both of ya ain't gonna like this one bit…"

"Just spill it!"

"M'kay! Mai-chan, ya do the honors!"

"O-okay…Um… _Lord_ Grimmjow, you have to strip dance in front of Aizen-sama…live… CAMEO 1 and Only wishes you luck… Harribel-sama, you are dared flash your…_chest_ at every perverted guy in _Bleach_ without killing anyone…"

"Now the cat has it easier!"

"Here's the list of perverted guys in Bleach that I can think of…Karakura Town: Keigo, Isshin Kurosaki, Kisuke Urahara, Kon, Ichigo Kurosaki..._AN: Some I'm adding for the heck of it. Almost all are perverted at least once in the series… Either that or they give off a pervert-ish vibe XD_

"Continuing on, in Hueco Mundo: Yammy, Aaroniero, Szayel, Zommari, Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Ulquiorra, Barragan, Starrk-"

"HEY! That's like every Espada!"

"I know, pretty much all of them except three are for the heck of it! Continuing on: Neliel's fraccion, Barragan's fraccion, Grimmjow's fraccion, and…OH YEAH! Ichimaru-sama, Aizen-sama, and somehow Tousen-san! In Soul Society…eh…just show it off to everyone…(AN: I'm too lazy to say all the names XD)

"…I freakin' hate whoever dared me to do this!"

"But you can't do anything about it!"

*GAME*

"Come on, Grim-jow! As da King ya should have a theme song! Sing it! I DARE YA!"

"Eff you, Ichimaru" he muttered. "I put the SEX IN SEXTA…CUZ I'M too sexy for my clothes! Too sexy for my clothes!"

Aizen: "…Do you need a therapist…?"

*GAME*

*FLASH AFTER HARRIBEL IS DONE*

I'll write down the reactions while Grimmjow finishes crying about his pride and honor…

All the reactions were either COME TO ME MY GODDESS! Nice rack… *nosebleeds* PUT A SHIRT ON, ESPADA! Come 'ere ya lil pretty. And my _favorite_ OH SH** LOOK WHAT KARMA BROUGHT ME! Get over here ya sexy thing!

I can't kill them (even though I almost killed the kid named Keigo), but I did slap them if they got to close…

*GAME*

"Nice rack…"

"Shut up, I see you were in the middle of something with Aizen-sama."

"Shut up."

"Put some clothes on."

"I would say the same about you."

"…"

"…"

"I'm not giving up."

"You think I will?"

*glaring contest*also nosebleeds, considering both have a nice body are both naked XDDD*

_Entry 459_

Panther VS Shark!

"Both o ya gotta light what yer wearing on fire!"

Grim and Hali: "…" _AN: RANDOM AN! The latest Bleach Japanese Episode, HALIBEL FINALLY INTRODUCES HERSELF! Cept the person that subbed it put it as Tier Halibel… Oh well_

*Ulquiorra, being the emo he is, has to do the burning*

"You have no idea how awkward this is…"

"Che, you're a GUY! I'm a girl!"

"I assure you that I do not intend any perverted actions or thoughts. If you want someone to do that, ask Grimmjow."

"By da way, how'd ya get more clothes so fast? Ya were just naked a bit back…"

"Uh…We sonido'd to our room-OW!"

"That is a strong flame…"

*after the fire is out*

"So…"

"We're naked again…"

"Why am I so used to this already, Grimmjow?"

"Probably because we both just spent about an hour being naked."

"Ah…"

"This ain't very funny."

"…"

"I'm surprised you're not being perverted, Gin."

"Eh, well, if I did, than Grim might think it's at 'im…"

"…"

"I WOULD NOT!"

"Ain't what ya said when Nnoitra was talkin' ta Halibel and ya were thinkin' elsewise…"

"…"

_Entry 460_

Kitten VS Guppy!

"Che, ya two sure are fast with changin' yer clothes!"

"Next, ya two gotta strip in da middle o a meetin' and den hop up on da table! Stand dere for 20 minutes and see ev'ryone's reaction."

"…"

"Oh look, a meetin' is 'bout ta start!"

*GAME*

"Please listen to me as you enjoy your-HOLY-"

"Che, I got so much gamer than you, Halibel!"

"Oh yeah? How come everyone is staring at ME than?"

"Heh, you know you're not the only one in the spotlight! I PUT THE SEX IN SEXTA! CUZ I AM WAYY TOO SEXY FOR MY CLOTHES! WAY TOO SEXY FOR MY CLOTHES! OH YEAH! SO SEXY!"

"Oh yeah? Wanna play it that way than? HEY STARRK! Get up here with me!"

"Uh…"

"I'm not going to do anything!" *pulls him up*

"…Tia…"

"HOW THE HECK IS YOU DANCING WITH STARRK GOING TO GET ATTENTION? HEY! EVERYONE LOOK AT ME!"

"Last time we checked, we're men, Sexta. I am not Szayel Gay SO PLEASE STOP USING THAT TERM BECAUSE I AM NOT GAY!"

"Ulquiorra, how are you able to keep your eyes closed at a time like this? Aren't you the youngest Espada?"

"Aizen-sama…I do believe that Grimmjow or Tia is… And I would rather not look up…"

"Grimmjow sits across from you, too…"

"Aizen-sama…" 

"Yes, Ulquiorra?"

"May I please be dismissed…?"

"…No."

_Entry 461_

"OH YA! I REMEMBERED. DA REVIEWER SAID DEY CAN THROW STUFF AT YA!"

*stops the weird table top behavior as everyone finds something*

"I have tomatoes for you to use…"

"Thanks, Ulquiorra! I have chocolate eyeballs!"

"Nice, Zommari, I have pillows."

"Ya would have that, Starrk. AND I GOT STEEL SPOONS FER GRIMMJOW!"

*pelts them!*

"OW! OW!"

"OUCH! THAT SPOON MIGHT HAVE CHIPPED MY HOLLY REMAINS IDIOT!"

"Yer hollow remains must get in the way a lot, Hali! It takes up yer FACE AND YER-OW! THAT FREAKIN' HURT!"

"HA! AHHH!"

"I GOT SOMETHING TO THROW AT YA BOTH!"

"WHAT?"

*CHUCKS THREE PIES WITH CHERRIES ON TOP!*

*everyone except Ulquiorra (since he's closing his eyes and resisting the urge to look) and Tousen (since he can't see) has a nosebleed*

Aizen: "Well…"

Everyone else: "Uh…"

Ulquiorra: "What's going on? *opens eyes* My, my…" _RANDOM AN: I just found it funny that he said My, my… in Japanese because usually whoever seems to say that in Japanese Bleach, usually has…emotion in their voice XD_

Gin: "Look where da cherries landed^^"

Grimmjow and Harribel: *BLUSHES O EMBARESSMENT!* S-shut up!"

Gin: "Hali n Grim-jow, with the cherr-ies!"

"SHUT UP!"

_Entry 462_

"Who got more game?"

"Let's see…It seems they're tied, Ichimaru-sama…"

"Ne, Mai-chan, ya can just call me Gin-san!"

"How about we just end it, _Gin-san_?"

"Sure! Those two're still hidin' in deir closets…"

"Okay^^ Now what?"

"Mai…?"

"Yes, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"Can you…come with me to the Living World?"

"Why?"

"I am taking the woman also. I made a deal with her, if she fixed Dracula, I would let her see her home again."

"…You still have some scraps of it…?"

"Yes, half of its wing."

"Why do I need to come?"

"Aizen-sama said I must bring along two other people…"

"I'll come with ya, Ulquiorra!"

"…Will you buy Aizen-sama more tea?"

"Sure^^"

"Let's get going."

"Have you noticed that we aren't in the Bahamas anymore?"

"…Ya…I just noticed we're in Las Noches again…"

"Aizen-sama must have secretly shoved us into a Garganta in our sleep…"

"Nah, Aizen-taichou ain't gonna go dat low. He had Tousen-san and I do it."

"…"

"TO THE GARGANTA!" _AN: Remember how the use their reiatsu to create a path in a Garganta? Well, in this fic, they use their reiatsu (since they're so good) to make a board type thing (like a mini ride I guess) kinda like what Ishida did when Ichigo, Sado, and Ishida went to Hueco Mundo… I'll stop talking now…_

"I'LL MAKE THE PATH!"

"NO! I mean…Mai can. She never led the way before…"

"Why not you, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"Because I don't feel like it."

_END CHAPTER HERE!_

_Next time, they're going to the World of the Living! YAY!_

_So for now, bai bai!_

Gin: "A-a-a-ar-r-r-ran-c-c-c-a-a-a-ar EN-CY-CLO-P-E-E-E-D-I-I-I-A!

Ulquiorra: "W-we are not doing the Espada S-snack t-time because I-I-I am the only Espada here! And WHO CAN EAT IN A TIME LIKE THIS?"

Mai: "SO-O-O-O-O-RRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY! THIS IS M-M-MYYYY FIRST TIME O-O-O-O-OPERATING A GARGANTA!"

Gin: "Sh-sh-should I take over?"

Ulquiorra: "NO!"

Gin: "T-t-ta'day, ima gonna tell ya 'bout da place we stay in!"

Mai: "There are two bathrooms, three bedrooms, no attic or basement, a kitchen, a living room, and front yard with a swing on a tree."

Gin: "Hey, why ain't we almost throwin' up?"

Ulquiorra: "I am creating the path…"

Gin: "Dat reminds me, Ulquiorra, ain't ya old enough ta take somethin' called Driver's Ed.?"

Ulquiorra: "I have no need to learn how to drive a car…"

Mai: "How about a bike? I know how to ride one!"

Gin: "Lucky! We're gonna buy bikes and yer gonna teach us how ta ride 'em, Mai-chan!"

Ulquiorra: "We are only here for tea and Dracula, so-"

Gin: "I'll get a green one fer you! Mine'll be silver-ish, blue-ish! Mai-chan, yer's can be teal!"

Mai: Don't worry, Ulquiorra-sama! I'm sure Gin-san's pen pal can send us some training wheels!"

Ulquiorra: "Isn't his pen pal some child named Mr. Gumy Be-ar?"

Gin: "Yup! Yer known as da Green Eyed Espada/Emo ta him!"

Ulquiorra: "…"

Mai: "ULQUIORRA-SAMA! FOCUS ON THE PATH! YOU'RE ABOUT TO-…walk into that clump of reiatsu…"

*Garganta opens*

Gin and Mai: "Ew…"

Ulquiorra: "Shut up…"

Gin: "Ain't dat why we got rid o' hollow birds in Las Noches? No offence, Mai-chan."

_AN: I wasn't able to use ALL of them (even though I got most)_

_I'll use what I don't have for truth or dare! So you can send them in anytime really… just don't expect too many truth or dares XD_

_So…_

_Ya…_

_Sorry AppleDoodle-chan, I couldn't use your truths and dares! But I will use them in the next truth or dare!_


	46. Bikes, Helmets, Beds, Siblings, Twins!

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary.

Ain't it great ta see a sun again, Diary-kun?

Entry 463-470: Bikes, helmets, beds, siblings, twins?

Too much fer one title!

_Entry 463_

Before we coulda bought bikes, we went ta our time share house!

Right now, Ulquiorra is helpin' pet-sama figure out where her house is!

'pparently, da time share house ain't very far from her place…

*lines and dots are all over the page*

EH? WHY'D YA DRAW ALL OVER MAH DIARY?

_Oh, Ichimaru-san, Ulquiorra-san and I are drawing out the map!_

It seemed that the real city map is…gone.

_How was that map confusing? You didn't need to cero it, Ulquiorra-san…_

I'm gone in da bathroom fer 5 minutes and ya draw in Diary-kun!

_Does everyone have a diary-journal?_

Ya, but everyone threw deirs out or 'lost it'.

TA DA BIKE SHOP! Do you wanna bike, pet-sama?

_No thanks! I have my own. Come on, I know where a bike shop is!_

Can I stay here?

That ain't very fun, Ulqui-orra! Ya can't go anywhere den!

I brought a book. I do not want to go for bike rides.

_But bike rides are good for your health! You don't want to sit around all day and become like Yammy-kun do you?_

…I will come along…

_Entry 464_

Ulqui-orra gotta green n black bike, Mai-chan got a teal one with yellow stars here n dere, and I got a silver-ish blue-ish one!

"Wait! Ichimaru-san, you all have to get helmets too! There's a bunch of cool designs on them! I need to get a new one, so I'll get some for you all!"

"M'kay, Pet-sama, Mai-chan'll come with ya so ya don't run off!"

*a while later*

Pet-sama got a helmet with strawberries on dem with a yellow background!

"The one that's silver with a blue smiley face is yours, Ichimaru-san."

"Thank ya, Orihime!"

"I assume that the teal one with a white C is mine and the hot pink one with a green C is Mai Cifer's?" said Ulqui-orra as he reached fer da teal one.

"No, the teal one is Mai-san's and the one with a green C is yours!"

"You have to be joking around, _onna_."

"I'm not… The pink one is yours and the teal one is your sister's!"

"…I do not have a sister…"

"Isn't Mai your sister? I got those helmets with the C on them since you're both Cifers!"

"I'm not Ulquiorra-sama's sister, _Otome." (AN: It means girl or maiden)_

"Oh…are you his cousin of some sort?"

"No…"

"Is he your uncle?"

"No…"

"Dad, grandpa, anything?"

"No…"

"Are you two going out~?"

"No!"

"Married?"

"EFF NO!"

"Lovers?"

"NO!"

"Grimmjow's sister?"

"No…"

"Grimmjow's lover?"

"NO! Well…he likes me, but-"

"You three are in a love triangle, right?"

"_**NO**_!"

_Entry 465_

"Put your feet on those pedals, Ulquiorra-san…"

"I refuse to do this."

"You just can't get it right, Ulqui-orra! Look at me! I'm riding!"

"Gin-san…would you like to try _without_ the training wheels?"

"Ya!" *after the training wheels are taken off*

"AHHHH! OWIEE! Alright, I'll just try aga-OW!"

*pushes the bike* "Go, Ulquiorra-san! Go!"

"How do I stop?"

"Why?"

"_Chikuso_, there is a car coming this way!"

"PEDAL BACKWARDS!"

*pedals REALLY hard backwards and it stops with a strong jolt!*

"Ow…"

"You're bleeding, Ulquiorra-san!"

"I see that, _onna_."

"Don't worry, I have some band aids you can use! Mai-san is just finishing up helping Ichimaru-san cover a few cuts…"

"I can regenerate, _onna_."

"You're in a gigai! Gigais can't regenerate! Here, it's just one band aid." *sticks one on his wrist*

"It has a rabbit on it…"

"Yeah, I got it from Kuchiki-san! The bunny's name is Chappy!"

"…Isn't there any normal ones?"

"Those are boring… The only other ones I have are Tweety Bird, Piglet, Strawberries, and Butterflies!"

*looks over to Gin*

"Hiya, Ulqui-orra!" *waves*

Ulquiorra's thoughts: _At least I am not __covered__ in these embarrassing things…_

_Entry 466_

"Okay! Now we ran ride to my house! You three can stay there until we head back."

"M'kay, Orihime! Let's ride! Don't ya need ta ride with someone since ya don't got yer bike?"

"Sure…who though?"

"I'm too short so you'll get in my way…"

"I refuse to give her a ride."

"Ya can ride with me, Orihime! But ya would got ta sit up front 'stead o' on da pegs since I don't got any… Ulqui-orra does though!"

"I refuse."

"Don't be so rude ta a lady! Let 'er ride with ya!"

"…Fine…"

*during the ride*

"Ulquiorra-san, you didn't fasten your helmet on! That's dangerous; here let me get it for you!"

"No, it is uncomfortable."

*fastens it* "But if you would fall, than your head wouldn't get hurt!"

"…Will you loosen your grip on my shoulders?"

"S-sorry! It's just that you aren't the smoothest bike rider…"

"…This is my first time, _onna_."

"How do you get around in Hueco Mundo than? Bikes must not work in the sand. Do you ride on hollow camels?"

"No, _onna_, we sonido or just walk."

"But what if you go to the Menos Forest or something?"

"We would get Yammy to eat through the ground so we can go through…"

"Ha-ha! I never knew you were funny, Ulquiorra-san!"

"I do not joke around, _onna_."

"..." O.O

_Entry 467_

"We are at your home now. Bring Dracula back."

"Fine, fine…"

*after she is done*

*Ulquiorra hugs the cute thing when he thinks no one us watching*

"Anyways… I only have a living room, bathroom, a small table for a dining room, and a small bedroom, but I use it as more like a game/work/random room!"

"Where will we all sleep?"

"In the living room like a sleepover! But I only have two extra mats and blankets…"

"Ulquiorra'll share with you den, Orihime!"

"WHAT? I mean, no! He-me-I-wait…no! I mean, I just kick a lot at night and might end up kicking him in the gut or something…"

"He'll share with you den, Mai-chan!"

"Why not you?"

"Grin is a major bed hog!"

"What if Dracula is a bed hog?"

"Dracula isn't a bed hog. He sits next to my pillow in my sleep. I prefer to not share a bed with ANYONE."

"If ya GOTTA CHOOSE, who'll it be?"

"Mai."

"Why?"

"I refuse to share a bed with a human and Gin and Grin will scare Dracula. Besides, Mai is my fraccion."

"Ya make it sound like ya WANNA share a bed with Mai-chan, Ulquiorra~!"

"…"

"It ain't funny when ya just stare with da same expression all da time… It ain't no fun!"

"…"

"Now it's just creepin' me out…"

"…"

"Fine, fine, yer just sharin' a bed with Mai-chan cuz ya HAVE ta."

"Exactly. Now if you excuse me, I am going to eat something."

"Want a chocolate cupcake with mustard and bean sauce? It's really good!"

_Entry 468_

"I'm a little tea pot, short and small! Here is my handle, here is my spout! When I get all steamed up, than I SHOUT! Tip! Me over! And pour me out!"

"What are you trash doing?"

"Orihime-chan taught us a song, Ulqui-orra!"

"Join us, Ulquiorra-sama!"

"No."

"Aw! Please?"

"Make me."

"I'll tell Grimmjow that you and Dracula are planning to kidnap and make a hostage out of Blots!"

"I knew I couldn't trust you from the start…"

_Entry 469_

"Gin…"

"Ya, Ulqui-orra?"

"Are you ready to discuss IT?"

"What's- Ohhhh! Da surprise at da 500th Entry! Ya! Queen Halibel, King Grim, an' Aizen-taichou are comin' ta discuss it with us!"

"Okay… Shouldn't we go somewhere else so Mai and-"

"Ulquiorra-san, shouldn't you call Mai your imouto-chan?"

"She is not my sister, _onna_."

"Stop denying it! It hurts Mai's feeling if you keep denying that you're related! You don't know what's it's like to lose a brother or sister! …It hurts…you're lucky that you still have each other! My brother died when I was younger and it was the worst thing that every happened to me! Be thankful for a younger sister! Have you ever thought about what she thinks of you? Or what would happen to her if you died? Wouldn't you feel a loss if Mai died? Ulquiorra-san, I know you don't believe in the heart…but you should care for your sister…You don't know what you have until you lose it…"

"_Onna_?"

"I-I'm sorry that I'm crying, Ulquiorra-san…"

"Mai really isn't my sister. We're not related. _At all_."

"…"

_Entry 470_

*BED TIME*

"Everyone, I'm sure you know Kuchiki-san!"

"Inoue! They're two Arrancar! And Ichimaru!"

"I know! They made a deal with me! If I healed a stuffed animal, than they would let me stay in my house for a while! Sorry it's so crowded, Kuchiki-san! At least you brought your own mat!"

"Okay…I brought Doritos like you wanted!"

*between Gin, Ulquiorra, and Mai*

"They like Doritos better!"

"Trash, does ANYONE like Doritos better?"

"Shinigami n humans do! Well…some humans… An' Aizen-taichou! Me, him, an' Tousen-san liked Lays better so we betrayed da Soul Society."

"Kuchiki-san, don't those two look like they're related?"

"Emo Espada, aren't you the one that Ichigo is trying to defeat?"

"…Maybe…"

"Do you like that girl you're sharing a mat with?"

"No."

"You sure? It's either that or you are related."

"We are not related…"

"Ulquiorra-san! That's so mean! She's your-"

"ENOUGH! FINE! Believe us, don't believe us!"

"Mai-san, WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU! And you two are related! Stop denying it!"

"Don't upset Inoue! You're lucky that you have a bond with each other!"

"What?"

"Nii-sama and I don't have a strong bond at all, really… You should love each other with all your hearts! You are brother and sister so just-"

"FINE! Just SHUT UP! Mai is my_... sister_…"

"Right…_Onii-sama_…"

"Aw! You made up! I'm so happy a fixed a life today!"

"Good job, Inoue-san!"

"Ha-ha! The Cifer twins are reunited again!"

"You two are twins? Why didn't you tell us? Ichigo's sisters are twins, but they don't look alike at all!"

"No! We're not twins!"

"Who's the older one?"

"Ulquiorra-sama is, but-"

"*le gasp* Maybe one of you dyed your hair!"

"NO!"

"Tomorrow, I'm gonna take you two out to have the best brother sister day ever! With the help of Kuchiki-san, of course!"

"Ha, I'll ya, too! Ain't no fun if I don't tag along!"

"NOOO!"

"Have a good night, Cifer twins!"

*in the dark*

"Mai?"

"Yes, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"Tomorrow."

"Definitely tomorrow."

"We are going to beat him into a bloody pulp tomorrow."

"Why not kill him?"

"He is Aizen-sama's second in command…"

"Too bad…"

"Too bad indeed…"

_END CHAPTER_

_I'm losing my funniness I think…BUT I WILL THINK OF MORE RANDOM THINGS! I'LL HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER LIKE SOCKS IF I HAVE TO!_

_Anyways:_

Mai: Breakfast Time!

Gin: Why ain't it Espada Snack Time?

Ulquiorra: I am the only Espada here and it is time for breakfast.

Orihime: I have some food for you all!

Mai, Gin, and Ulquiorra: Looks good!

Rukia: I brought my own breakfast, thanks though, Inoue!

Everyone: *nom nom nom*

"W-what's in this?"

"The pancakes? I made them myself! But I added mustard, ketchup, soy sauce, and a few other things. Why?"

Gin, Mai, and Ulquiorra: "GONNA HURL!"

Rukia: "I have a chappy trash can for you to use! It still stinks from Hitsugaya-taichou's vomit when he ate the food a few months ago…"

Mai: "Onii-sama…did she poison the food…?"

Ulquiorra: "I…think so…"

Rukia: "I know you're an enemy and all, but I feel sorry for you… Inoue has really odd cooking 'skills'. Just don't say anything about it…"

"GONNA HURL!"


	47. Day with Grimmjow

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Hey, just a note ta ya readers, Ulqui-orra an' Mai-chan ain't really related ta our knowledge!

Entry 471-479: Day with Grimmjow

_Entry 471_

Huh…did ya know dat dere's a place called da United Kingdom?

Dey must be pretty united…

But did ya know dat Lays are called Walkers dere?

AND did ya know dat one o ya crazy reviewers licked da pie off o Grim-jow and Halibel during da Game thing?

I tried ta lick too…

But Halibel slapped me n' Grim-jow cero'ed mah face…

It hurt…

_Entry 472_

"WE"RE HERE TO JOIN YOU GUYS IN YOUR SHOPPING DAY!"

"HALIBEL-SAN, GRIMMJOW-SAN, USE THE DOOR NEXT TIME!"

"Oops…didn't see it…"

"I never use doors!"

"Yeah, right…"

"Really, Grim-jow crashed through a wall once when da door was just a few steps to his left!" _AN: It's true. XD_

"Oh yeah…I remember that…"

"Doors are so annoying!"

"How is turning a knob and lightly pulling on it annoying?"

"I don't know! It just is!"

"You should stop, Aizen-sama refuses to pay for the holes you make in all the walls."

"Ya, Grim-jow, Aizen-taichou almost murdered ya when ya walked through da wall when ya were late fer a meetin'!"

"Oh yeah…"

"Oh look! It's so close to the 500th Entry that we can't really go to the mall with you! Grimmjow, you're the second weakest, so you can go to the mall with _Onna_ and Mai!"

"WHAT? Halibel, why can't you go? You're a girl!" 

"Mai is going~"

"…See ya around!"

_Entry 473_

"How the HECK are you supposed to RIDE these things?"

"It's called a bike, Grimmjow-san! Ulquiorra is shorter than you so we'll just lift the seat and… there!"

"Why is his helmet pink?"

"Well, Kuchiki-san told me that her brother said pink was a manly color! I thought that Byakuya-san is quite manly since he's a captain and he and Ulquiorra are pretty alike! So I bought his a pink helmet with a C on it since he's a Cifer and Mai's a Cifer! DID YOU KNOW THEY'RE _TWINS_?"

"W-wha…? Just tell me how to ride this bike thing!"

"Oh…it's easy! Put your feet on the pedals and just kinda move them!"

"_Onna_, I'm pretty sure you ain't this stupid, but I don't see any pedals. Pedals are for flowers. If you stepped on one, it would tear up and break."

"Didn't Ulquiorra-san sing about when flowers are in bloom everyone smiles and he wants to crush them or something like that?"

"…Yeah^^ That was funny! You shoulda seen his face in the recording studio!"

"Ha-ha-ha! Anyways… you sit on that seat and put your feet on _that_ kind of pedal! Move your feet kinda and than there you go! You're riding a bike!"

*five seconds later*

"_Onna-san_, we ran out of band aids!"

"Mai-san, I had a whole box a few seconds ago!"

"Grimmjow, I mean _Lord_ Grimmjow isn't very good at riding bikes…"

"Shut up! I didn't know how to stop and than it…tipped over…"

"Grimmjow-san! I only found the Hello Kitty ones!"

"I LOVED that show when I was a human!"

"How do you remember that?"

"When I died I was wearing a Hello Kitty band aid…"

"…How the HECK did you die?"

"I was bitten by a rabid dog and wolf…stupid dogs…"

O.O

"TO THE MALL!"

_Entry 474_

How the heck does Onna think that you're twins with Ulquiorra?

Um…she kept telling us we were either related or liked each other so we just told her we're related and Ichimaru-sama said we were twins…

I'm surprised Ulquiorra didn't beat him up yet… We should call Gin.

Okay! *calls him*

"I ain't able ta answer mah phone cuz I'm either helpin' Aizen-taichou with his AWESOME plan fer World Domination, drawin' on Tousen-san's goggles, or getting unhealthily drunk off my a**… EDIT! HELP ME! ULQUIORRA IS TRYIN' TA CERO ME! PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER DA BEEP!"

That's…interesting…

That reminds me… *beeping sound goes off*

"Um, Ichimaru, Nnoitra drank all the sake so I was wondering if you can buy more…"

_Entry 475_

"YAYYY! ONLY 25 MORE ENTRIES!" *glomps Mai*you can probably tell, her face says WTF?*

"WTF? Until the big surprise? Why glomp ME than?"

"You're- …"

"I'm what…?"

"Really cute^^"

"Thank you?

"TO THE NEXT ENTRY SO THAT WE'LL BE CLOSER TO 500!"

"Wait…are you gonna sarcastically confess your undying love for me and ask me to be your wife again?"

"No! Those things are only funny once!"

"Oh…Are you gonna just sarcastically confess your undying love for me in front of the Espada plus Aizen-sama, Ichimaru-sama, and Kaname-san?"

"They already know! Well…except Tousen…"

"Did you see what Ichimaru-sama drew on his goggles?"

(Let's just say Grimmjow's reaction is ROFLMAO!)

_Entry 476_

WOO-HOO! ONLY 24 MORE ENTRIES!

_Grimmjow-san, why are you so excited?_

I KNOW THE SURPRISE ON THE 500th ENTRY!

Will you tell us?

Sorry, I can't! Aizen said he'd let me know if I was sworn into secrecy!

_Can you tell me?_

Sorry, Onna, I never thought I'd live long enough to hear myself say this, but rules are rules!

Oh my gosh! Did you just say that rules are rules?

_I think he did…_

The world might end soon…

_Entry 477_

"GRIMMJOW-SAN!"

"What?"

"WHY'D YOU JUST CRASH THROUGH THE WALL?"

"YEAH! It was only like seven steps away!"

"I only do through doors if we're in a crowd or it's six step away…"

"Uh…HELLO? We're in the middle of the shopping half priced hour at the biggest mall in Karakura!"

"I didn't feel like using the door…"

"We better run before someone figures it out…"

_Entry 478_

"GRIMMJOW USE THE…door…"

"Grimmjow-san, that's the 55th wall you crashed through today!"

"So?"

"_Lord_ Grimmjow has an annoying habit… You should see the towers in Las Noches, he hangs out in them a lot so there's holes in the walls everywhere!"

"But I heard from Ulquiorra-san that his palace doesn't have any holes in the walls at all…"

"Cuz I don't walk through walls at my place. Di Roy Linker does sometimes, but he gets it fixed up before I can cero him."

"Sir, why did you just walk through that wall?"

"Oh, you're the security guard, right?"

"Yes, but I must ask why are you walking through so many walls and not using the door like normal people?"

"Cuz I'm not normal."

"Very funny, but we ARE all unique, so why did you not use the door."

"…I have a door problem…"

*PUNCH*

"WHY'D YOU JUST PUNCH HIM? HE COULD HAE ARRESTED YOU!"

"CHIKUSO! RUN FOR IT!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU IMBECILE TEENAGERS!"

"I'm not a teenager…"

"STOP TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU'RE A LITTLE GIRL AND RUN FOR IT, MAI!"

"Wait…I just thought of something…"

_Entry 479_

"Stop! You are under arrest for-"

"Mister, what does 'air-est' mean? Does it mean dat da air rests?"

"No, sweetie, it means you could go to jail."

"Ohhh! Who's gonna get air-rested?"

"The blue haired man behind you."

"WHAT? Grimmy-Jake is my brother! He can't go to jail!"

"Uh…"

"Eva since mommy and daddy went bye, bye, we had ta live in dis nice lady's house! She gives us yummy food, but we don't eat cuz we don't wanna bother her! I-if Grimmy goes bye, bye…den I'll be all alone!" *sobs*

"But I said he COULD and-"

"A-and I might gotta go ta a scary place! I gotta go bye bye a-and I would miss Grimmy a-and he would miss me and you'd bweak our famiwy apart!" *cries* "I DON'T WANNA WEAVE! YOU CAN'T TAKE GRIMMY AWAY!"

"U-Uh…never mind…just…leave the mall…"

"THANK YOU, MISTER NICE MAN 2!"

*outside the mall*

"Mai?"

"Yeah?"

"How the in Hueco Mundo are you able to pass as a five year old? You're like a head shorter than Ulquiorra! You're like…4'9''-ish right?"

"I guess…"

"How the HECK can you pass as a five year old?"

"I deal with a lot of tall people…"

"So? Remember that guy that let us stay in the Time Share House?"

"Yeah…"

"He was SHORTER than Ulquiorra! How did you trick HIM?"

"In case you haven't noticed…whenever I do that, I'm on my knees…"

"I should try that!"

*at some random park nearby*

"A-and I weally need the money… a-and-"

*beotch slap!* "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT!"

*back over with Mai and Inoue*

Mai: "Oh yeah, that sure went well…"

Inoue: "Ouch…that should leave a mark…"

O.O "What the heck do you humans keep in purses that could hurt so much?"

"…I don't really think that taking off her high heels and bashing him with it is necessary…"

"Hey…what's that thing she's spraying in his eyes?"

"Pepper spray I think…"

"Onna-san…could she get arrested for that? Cuz I think Grimmjow broke his leg…"

O.O "Santun Keshun! I reject!"

*a second later*

"How…she punches HARD! It just broke through your shield thing, Onna-san!"

O.O

"Sōten Kisshun! I reject!"

"Why exactly are you healing him?"

"I dunno…he's a 'comrade' since Ulquiorra-san said I was on your side…"

"…Why exactly did you agree?"

"...He…gave me…"

"What?"

"Ice cream and a chocolate covered marshmallow…"

"…"

"They were SO good!"

*with Grimmjow*

"HELP ME DAMMIT!"

"YAAAAAA!"

"Sōten Kisshun! I reject!"

*a while later*

"Ha-ha, _Lord_ Grimmjow, I find it funny that you depended on two fairies to save you from a human."

"Shut it."

"Make me^^"

"I'll kiss you again."

"Onna-san didn't heal your broken leg yet."

"So?"

"I'll stand juuuuuust outta your reach!"

"ARG!"

"And you wouldn't hurt me~^^"

"Yes I would."

"B-but…you can't hurt me! Ulquiorra-sama will kill you!" *imaginary picture of Ulquiorra holding up Grimmjow by the throat while Mai's in the background with sparkly eyes saying "MY HERO!"*

"…I'm PRIMERA FOR A WEEK! I can just order him to back off!"

"But Harribel-sama would order him to kill you…or she would do it herself…"

"I have more game so I could just tell HER to back off!"

"She's a higher rank than you…"

"Wait…THIS DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH OUR ORIGINAL CONVERSATION! WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW I WILL KILL YOU!"

"That too! I'm having an ACTUAL CONVERSATION with you!"

"…"

"Now, let's head back to Onna-san's house! She'll heal your leg than you can ride Ulquiorra-sama's bike!"

"I can't walk over to onna…my leg is broken…"

"Fine, I'll help you over there…" *arm around shoulder, Grimmjow slightly leaning on Mai, blah blah, you get the picture XD*

*PUNCH*

"OW! CHIKUSO! THAT HURTS DAMMIT!" *_AN: So…basically the translation is…OW! DAMN IT! THAT HURTS DAMMIT! Lol_

"Told ya I would hurt you!" *Grimmjow is proud*Mai glaring while standing up*

"Ow…I'm surprised I didn't vomit blood or anything yet."

"HUH?"

"Well, getting punched by YOU usually requires blood. _**OW!***_ THAT'S HURTS! What'd you do? Use sonido to knee me too?" *AN: *LE GASP* BOLD ITALICS AND UNDERLINED! THAT CAN'T BE GOOD!

"Uh…yeah?"

"I think you broke my leg! I can't get up!"

"Crap…"

_DUN DUN DUN! TO BE CONTINUED!_

_Q AND A WITH G. AI INOUE!_

_Is Grimmjow screwed? (ya probably, I mean…for sure!)_

_Is Mai okay? (I guess so…)_

_Who will Inoue heal first? (Grimmjow! Cuz she's healing his leg right now with a very PO'ed expression…)_

_When will she heal Mai? (Not right now…apparently, she refuses to do anything more for the Espada and Arrancar unless they make a very good deal with her… and chocolate cover marshmallows ain't working!)_

_What will happen next? (are ya stupid? I didn't even START writing the next chapter as I'm writing this!)_

_Why won't you tell us? (Cuz…just cuz…)_

_What's the surprise on the 500__th__ Entry? (Mai's gonna-HEY WAIT A MINUTE! I'm not telling you yet! All you know is it involves Mai.)_


	48. Preparin' fer da Surprise

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

We're headin' back ta Las Noches since Orihime-chan ain't willing ta cooperate!

Entry 480-489: Preparin' fer da Surprise

_Entry 480_

"Chikuso! Ichimaru-sama, will you PLEASE let Ulquiorra-sama operate the Garganta? With the way you do it, I think you're TRYING to spilt my leg in half!"

"Deal with it."

"Shut up, Grimmjow…"

"Make me."

"Shut up, _Lord_ Grimmjow…"

"Fine…"

_Entry 481_

Ha-ha, ya shoulda SEEN Mai-chan's face when she saw her room^^

**ICHIMARU WONDERFUL MAN GIN'S FLASHBACK!  
**

"WHAT THE _HELL _DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM?"

"You are moving."

"WHERE? Wait…I'm not gonna be your fraccion anymore, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"No, it's just that _Onna_ has to stay with me…"

"Where do I have to stay?"

"I am told you are staying Grimmjow."

"!"

_Entry 482_

"Hiya, Ilforte-san!"

"Hello, Mai! What happened to your leg?"

"Grimmjow kicked me."

"I thought he liked you…"

"He does."

"…Anyways, have you seen my little brother Szayel Aporro? I think he experimented on me in my sleep…"

"Why do you think that?"

"…kniht I stceffa edis emos gnileef neeb ev'I"

"COOL! You can speak backwards!"

"!nas-iaM, tceffa edis a s'tI"

"I can tell… Have you seen Grimmjow? I'm supposed to be one of his fraccion for now or something…"

".sretrauQ atxeS eht dnuora uoy wohs ll'I dna em htiw emoC !ereh dnuora elamef a gnideen neeb ev'ew, aH"

"Okay! Do you know where I'm supposed to sleep…?"

"…moor emag a otni ti denrut dna pu ti dehsart adnik ew os ti deen t'ndluow ew taht derugif ew tub, moordeb artxe na sah sretrauq yreve, ess uoy…lleW"

"So…where would I sleep?"

".moor sih ro moor ym ni yats rehtie nac uoy taht dias wojmmirG"

"Ohhh! Okay, I'll stay in your room!"

".suolaej eb dluow wojmmirG, aH"

"Ha-ha, yeah, he would be."

"Ilforte-nii! There you are you lousy trash!"

"!hsart em llac t'nod, rehtorb redlo ruoy m'I !pu tuhS"

"You tell me, but I never listen! Ha-ha, I AM a higher rank than you!"

"!tarb knip uoy pu tuhS"

"For that, I'm not going to reverse your backward-ness!"

"!oooooooooooooooooooooooooN"

_Entry 483_

"Everyone, this is Mai Cifer, my new fraccion for now."

"Hello, Miss Mai, I am Shawlong."

"Yo, I'm Nakeem^^"

"Hehehe, you're cute! I'm Di Roy!"

"I'm Edrad."

".ztnarG etrolI m'I !em wonk uoY"

"Nice to meet you all!"

"And I'm Grimmjow Jaegerjacues, remember me? I'm the guy that broke your leg."

*PUNCH*

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"For breaking my leg, of course!"

"Haha, the red mark doesn't look good with you hair!" 

_Entry 484_

"Ilforte-san, why are you so happy?"

"I can speak again!"

"COOL!"

"Only till the 500th entry though…"

"Is that the surprise?"

"I don't think so…"

"It involves me, I know…"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Aizen-sama has made a younger sister for Szayel and I! She's a Numero though…" _AN: I think Numero are the two digit Arrancar, right? Like Loly, Menoly, fraccion and all right?_

"Really? You're lucky, I'm an only child…"

"Isn't Ulquiorra-san your brother?"

"No…"

"Cousin?"

"No…"

"Uncle?"

"No."

"Dad?"

"No."

"Granddad?"

"No."

"Lover?"

"NO!"

_Entry 485_

ONLY *counts* uh… 15 MORE ENTRIES!

Why are you so excited, Grimmjow?

You can keep secrets, right?

Yes, you know I can.

*whisper whisper*

REALLY?

I KNOW! 

Which one?  


I dunno, but I heard rumors that it might be Yammy, Aaroniero, your brother, Zommari, or even ME!

Does that mean…?

I dunno, but I'm not gonna get bossed around!

_What are you guys talking about?_

NOTHING!  


Nothing at all, Mai. Now go and make us some dinner.

_Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm gonna cook for you!  
_

She has a point there, King Grim.

_And just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I know how to cook really well either._

CAN you cook really well?

_It's edible…but kinda just above the meter known as crap._

…

…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_Oh, I better go and help Harribel-sama._

_Entry 486_

"I have everything set up! Neliel Tu is even here!"

"Why am I here, Hali-chan?"

"You'll see…Oh, you'll see for sure…" *evil grin*

*after a while*

"AHHHHHHHH! THAT FREAKIN' CHEESE IS HOT! SALSA? THAT HURTS! MY EYES!"

"DON'T FORGET THE DORITOS!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"Neliel, get your pet Bawabawa!"

"ALRIGHT!"

"NNOITRA JIRUGA YOU STUPID SEXIST BASTARD! I'M USING YOU AS A SPOON TO FEED NELIEL'S PET!"

"EFF NO! NO! _**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**_!"

*nom nom chomp chomp!*

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYE! MY EYE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT F***IN' STINGS"

"We will continue later, Jiruga."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_Entry 487_

"Ilforte-san, can you carry me?"

"Why…?"

"Cuz I left my crutches back in your room."

"Oh, okay!"

"Hey, where's Grimmjow?"

"Outside, on top of the dome."

"Why?"

"He likes to feel 'free' like Ulquiorra-san when he takes his weekly flights."

"Oh…wanna go and see what he's doing?"

"Sure."

*on the dome top*

"Birdie, birdie in the sky! Why'd you do this to my eye? Looks like sugar…tastes like sap…OMFG IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!" _AN: I got that off of someone's profile thing XD_

"Ain't Grim-jow poetic?"

"Ichimaru, what're you doing here?"

"Watchin' Grim-jow makin' a fool o himself."

"Ah…Do you always do this?" 

"Yup! You'd be surprised at what ya see da Espada do up here!"

"Like…?"

"Ulquiorra comes up here an' likes ta eat chocolate covered marshmallows. Where do ya think our chocolate supply goes?"

_Entry 488_

YO!

Gin here^^

I have ta ask a very important question. Ya readers HAVE ta answer it in yer reviews or da surprise at da 500th Entry ain't gonna be good.

Which Espada, Sexta-Decima, do ya hate da most and don't like seein'?

Grimmjow? Zommari? Szayel Aporro? Aaroniero? Yammy?

Which one do ya not like?

*looks around cautiously*

I'm tellin' ya top secret info! 

Aizen-taichou is thinkin' o kickin' one o da weaker Espada out!

But ya need say who ya DON'T like…

Very top secret info, no room fer funniness 'ere!

Sexta-Decima, who do ya not like? Or who da ya wanna see get humiliated?

Do ya wanna see Grimmjow, or Zommari, or Szayel Apporo, or Aaroniero, or Yammy humiliated?

Ain't always gonna be funny humiliated… CHOOSE! YA NEED TA OR DA STORY MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TA GO ON! 

"Gin?"

"Ya, Aizen-taichou?"

"Are you writing down the surprise?"

"No!"

"Not even a hint?"

"I would never!"

"Good. I trust you."

*shudders* Dat man scares meh sometimes…

_END CHAPTER!_

_Q AND A WITH ICHIMARU GIN!  
_

What's the surprise?

_I ain't tellin' ya!_

Why~?

_Cuz I ain't allowed ta!_

Why do you need to know which Espada, Sexta-Decima, do we hate the most?

_It's important! But ya'll see!  
_

Really, why?

_Cuz Aizen-taichou is meetin Chuck Norris an' wants ta use da least liked Espada as a shield._

REALLY!

_No, I was bein' sarcastic!_

Who knows the surprise?

_Um…Me, Aizen-taichou, Tousen-san, Ulqui-orra, Tia-chan, Grim-jow, Um…Starrk n Barragan I think… oh, G. Ai Inoue, NinjaCats, and G. Ai's brother…Oh ya, and Ilforte…_

HOW COME WE READERS CAN'T KNOW?

_Cuz! Just cuz…_

Alright! Time for the Author's Note!

I think I'm losing my funniness! OH NOZIES!

WTF…I'm watching Tom and Jerry with my cousins…WHY? Idk… I think it has no plot at all XD (obvious)

Anyways PLEASE say which Espada, Sexta-Decima you hate the most.

Another note…I'm thinking about writing a one-shot…(Not So Happy Ending is gonna be a half crack fic if you think it seems like one XD, but I guess not, I'll update randomly and TRY to add some kind of plot…)

Back to the one-shot I MIGHT write… If I did write it, it would be my first attempt at romance…What will the pairing be, you probably wonder? Grimmjow x OC

You must be thinking LE GASP! IS IT MAI?

Yes, actually, it is^^

It won't be anything long like a long one-shot* (XD At first I wrote sh*t instead of shot as a typo LOL)

Do you readers think I should write the one-shot? I probably will eventually, but IDK…

The only summary of any kind I can think of is: Grimmjow ponders about Mai's while she sleeps.

XD I can't even think of any sort of title! He would be probably thinking about her reaction every time he does whatever XD So it'll probably be called Reaction unless someone thinks of a better name XD

Anyways…

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING AND REVIEWING! Oh…and…I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! EXCEPT MAI CIFER MY OC! And the plot thing I guess… And another OC heading this way^^ but the other OC after that belongs to NinjaCats…

~G. Ai Inoue

_**EXTRA ENTRY!**_

_Entry 489_

Happy birthday ta' one o ya reviewers!

SayurixGin, happy birthday!

Oh, lookie! My name's in yer penname! I'm so awesome, ain't I?

Anyways…uh…

_Happy Birthday, Say-u-ri!_

_Happy Birthday, to you,_

_Hope you have a gre-at day!_

_Hope that you aren't only two!_

_Happy Birthday, Say-u-ri,_

_Happy Birthday to you!_

To da theme o' uh…*sings a little* Twinkle Twinkle lil' Star!

I got Ulqui-orra ta write it fer ya!

He agreed right away when I asked him ta stop cleanin' da toilets^^


	49. Introduction: Leola Grantz

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

I gotta go on one o mah mission's fer Aizen-san^^ Grim-jow is takin' care of Diary-kun!

Entry 490-499: Introduction: Leola Grantz

_Entry 490_

"BAKA!" _AN: XD I typed BEKA! as a typo at first lol_

"BUT IT WOULD PROBABLY ME TRUE!"

"SHUT UP!CERO!"

"OUUUUCH! STOP HURTING ME, MAI JAEGERJACUES!"

"ARRRRHG! I'LL KILL YOU THAN!"

"NOOO!"

Ha-ha-ha… Poor Di-Roy…

I'm surprised it wasn't Grimmjow…

And why the heck am I writing in Ichimaru-san's journal?

_Entry 491_

"MAI!"

"Yeah…?"

"SLEEP IN MY ROOM TONIGHT!"

"Um…no?"

"NO?"

"Yeah…"

"YES?"

"NO!"

"NO?"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"NO! THAT'S WHAT I SAID!"

"NO?"

"YES!"

"YES!"

"ARRG! NO!"

_Entry 492_

Starrk here… Aizen told me to do something other than sleeping.

So I decided to write in Ichimaru's journal…

Aizen just updated me on the Project Secret… (AKA 500th Entry Surprise)

If Grimmjow or Szayel Aporro gets voted a lot, than they won't get kicked out of the Espada, but they'll get a surprise…

I would tell you, but I don't know what that surprise is…

I also don't know why the heck I bothered to go into Grimmjow's room to write in this journal…

_Entry 493_

"Hey! It's Starrk-san!"

"nas-krratS, iH!"

"Hi Di-Roy, Ilforte…"

"Why're you here?"

"I'm bored."

"…looc…"

"Wanna go see what Grimmjow is doing?"

"Sure…"

"yako…"

_Entry 494_

O.O "Uh…"

*yawns* blinks* "Um…"

"?tsrif wojmmirG llik ot gniyrt iaM tuohtiw neppah siht did odnuM oceuH ni woH"

_Entry 495_

Please keep voting for which Espada you don't really like!

Some crazy person known as G. Ai Inoue says that this story can't really go on if you don't all vote…

What the heck is that supposed to mean?

_Entry 496_

"Ilforte-nii!"

"seY?"

"How are you?"

"?_rehtorb raed_ ym uoy era woH .sdrawkcaB"

"Lovely! I'm feeling lovely as always! Would you like to meet our new adopted sister?"

"…eruS"

"Meet Arrancar number 90, Leola Grantz!"

"…Hey…"

"iH…"

"I can feel the strong bonds already! Leola-chan, would you like to stay with me or go with Ilforte-nii?"

"GO WITH ILFORTE!"

"Science getting boring for you, Leola?"

"No…I just didn't want to look at…_that_…"

"What?"

"…"

"Oh…you mean my little lab hollow? He won't bite! Actually, he is very kind and loves hugs!"

O.O "Let's go, Leola-chan…"

_Entry 497_

"Hi, I'm Mai Cifer…"

"I'm Leola Grantz…"

"Are you related to Szayel Aporro?"

"In an adopted-ish way…yeah… Are you related to that green eyed emo?"

"No…"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"So…"

"…?"

"Are you going out with him…?"

"NO!"

_Entry 498_

"Um…Leola-san…?"

"Yeah?"

"Here…put these on…"

"Black bike shorts? Why…?"

"Your jacket is a bit…short…"

"And?"

"You don't wear a hakama…"

"Your point…?"

"…You mean you haven't noticed the guys whistling at you…?"

_Entry 499_

"YAYYY! ONE MORE ENTRY!"

"Is he your boyfriend…?"

"NO! GRIMMJOW, OFF!"

"Fine…"

"…Why are you so excited about the diary entry…?"

"Cuz Project Secret reveals tomorrow! BUT ONLY if the READERS VOTE for which Espada they don't like Sexta-Decima."

"Yeah…Ilforte told me about a surprise for the Octava and Sexta if they get voted the most…"

"Hey, who ARE you?"

"Arrancar no. 90, Leola Grantz."

"Oh…"

"Yeah…"

"Hey…"

"Hm…?"

"Wanna go to the Living World again after the 500th Entry?"

"Sure…"

"Okay! We could go shopping, Mai!"

"Um…no thanks…I was thinking of going to this festival. I heard there's this guy named Don Kan-o-ji or something. They say he can kill and sense bad spirits and I wanna see if he's really all that."

"That's no fun! Shopping will be much better!"

"Flip a coin?"

"Deal."

"Grimmjow, you have a coin?"

"Sure." *flips…uh…a random coin he had…*

"HEADS!"

"Tails…"

*coin plops down and spins…spins…spins…spins…*

"HURRY UP AND SLAM YOUR HAND DOWN, GRIMMJOW!"

"Fine, fine…please be tails, please be tails…"

"HEADS! HAHAHA! WE'RE GONNA GO SHOPPING!"

_END CHAPTER!_

HEY PEOPLE! 

_**VOTE OR PROJECT SECRET WON'T HAPPEN UNTIL THE 600**__**TH**__** ENTRY! YOU HEARD ME! VOTE OR YOU HAVE TO WAIT EVEN LONGER!**_

_Unless you're Ninjacats of course…_

_**BUT STILL!**_

_**So for now, I'll give you a little extra…**_

Aizen: Epsada Snack Time…

Kaname: Aaroniero and Yammy will not be joining us today…

Tia (AN: OMFG SHE HASN'T BEEN AROUND MUCH!): Why…?

Aizen: So far they have the most votes in Project Secret…

Higher ranking Espada that know the secret (Like…Cuarto-Primera): YES!

Harribel: Since I have not been around much, I'll choose the food today.

Everyone: …

Harribel: Also as Queen, I would like to thank everyone for voting me!

Everyone: We didn't vote you…

Harribel: Today's snack is…chocolate waffles!

Ulquiorra (in his mind of course): _YES! FINALLY! SWEET CHOCOLATE ONCE AGAIN!_

Harribel: For everyone except Ulquiorra and Zommari!

Ulquiorra (in his mind): _Nooooo!_

Harribel: For Zommari, I'll give him pumpkin bread! YUM!

Zommari (half mentally and half out loud): NOOOO! FORGIVE ME GREAT PUMPKIN!

Everyone: …

Harribel: And for me, I get that last steak that you were all gonna share!

EVERYONE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! EFFIN' NOOOO!

Grimmjow: That…beautiful…tasty…yummy…*drools* steak…

Harribel: MMMM! It's delicious!

Grimmjow: Wait… AS KING GRIM I ORDER YOU TO GIVE ME THE REST!

Harribel: Took you long enough to figure it out! Here's the rest!

Grimmjow: Ngh…NO! HOW DO YOU EAT SO FAST WITHOUT SHOWING YOUR MOUTH?

Harribel: Two words…SONIDO AND DEDICATION TO MAKING YOU SUFFER!

Grimmjow: …That ain't two words…

Harribel: Seven words…

Grimmjow: THAT was two words!


	50. Revealing Project Secret

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary.

I'm back, ev'ryone! Just in time fer Project Secret, too! 

Ya must be thinkin' WHAT'S DA REAL PROJECT SECRET?

Well, ya think we're gonna tell you right away?

NO!

_Entry 500: Project Secret_

Ta'day is da day… I just woke up…

Entry 500, Project Secret is gonna take place throughout da whole day…

So dis is all one chapter!

First is da Espada Meetin'.

Really important dis time. I'm givin' Diary-kun ta Ulquiorra so he won't be bored and ta keep ya updated da whole day!

~U~ (scene change)

"Decima-Cero Espada, Yammy Riyalago!"

"Novena Espada… **Aaroniero Arruruerie."**

"Octava Espada, Szayel Aporro Grantz!"

"Septima Espada…Zommari Leroux…"

"Sexta Espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez."

"Quinta Espada! Nnoitra Jiruga!"

"Cuarto Espada, Ulquiorra Cifer."

"Espada Tres, Tia Harribel."

"_Segunda_ Espada, King Barragan Luisenbarn."

"Primera Espada, Lilynette Gingerback."

*yawn* "Ngh…Primera Espada…Coyote Starrk…"

"Good, everyone is here. Please sit down, Aizen-sama is on his way," said Kaname Tousen as he left.

"This meeting must be pretty important if Lilynette is here," said Nnoitra as he glared at her. She simply stuck her tongue out at him.

"Yo, Ulquiorra! Who has the most votes in Project Secret so far?" asked the trashy Sexta.

"You are not supposed to know." I turned to Starrk, who was sleeping. "Starrk…"

*snores*

"…STARRK."

*snores*

"Cero."

"AHHH! WHAT THE HECK, ULQUIORRA?"

"I would like to know who has the most votes in Project Secret."

Grimmjow: *listens up*

*sigh*punches Grimmjow* "Yammy has the most votes…so he might be the one…"

*doors open*

"Good morning, my dear Espada…I am here to reveal Project Secret today."

"Yuperoo! Oh, and Tia-chan, we gotta discuss somethin' with ya later!"

"…"

"Half of Project Secret is finding out which Espada is most incapable. Right now, every Espada, Sexta-Decima has one vote…"

"EHH?"

"WHO HAS THE MOST VOTES, AIZEN-SAMA?"

"Kaname…please present the results…"

"Hai… Yammy has the most votes…"

"WHAAAAAT?"

"Yammy Riyalago…you are no longer Decima Espada…"

"NOOOOOOO!"

"I am assigning you the position of Ulquiorra's fraccion…"

*CRIES* "BUT I'M SO GOOD AT BEING THE DECIMA!"

"Yammy…my _fraccion_?" *shudders mentally*

"Please leave the meeting room…"

"NO!"

"Kaname…please escort him out…"

"Hai, Aizen-sama…"

*round house kicks Yammy out of the room*

"OWIEE!"

"Who ever knew Justice Man knows how to round house kick?"

"Be quiet, fool! It could have been you that was kicked out!"

"Calm down, Kaname. He wouldn't have been kicked out."

"HAHA!"

"Would you like me to round house kick you also?"

"You can't be as good as Chuck Norris! I've been kicked by him before and it HURT!"

*round house kicks Grimmjow*

"Owiee…"

"I am BETTER with my kick because I am ANIMATED."

"Darn the animators…"

"ANY WHO… this meeting is not over. Oh no, this is only part one of this meeting. I dismiss you, BUT-"

"Hehe, Aizen said BUTT!" (says Grimmjow)

"…Ulquiorra and Grimmjow…"

"Hai, Aizen-sama?"

"You must escort Tia out to the gate of Las Noches."

"Y-you mean we're actually…_leaving_ the dome?"

"I do admit, I don't even remember stepping onto the sand of Hueco Mundo…only the sands of Las Noches…"

"Wait, Aizen-sama, why do they have to escort _me_? I'm a higher rank than both of them…"

"Gin shall also accompany you."

"Why? I mean, I won't refuse to your order, Aizen-sama, but I am fully capable going outside myself."

"You'll see…it might be quite…a shock…"

"Why? Is it raining out?"

"No…you'll see…"

~G~ Outside the Gate of Las Noches

"Uwquiorra-sama! Such a pleasure to see you~!" said Nel-chan

"I am not here to pick up the chocolates, Neliel."

"That's where ya get yer chocolates, Ulqui-orra!" I said^^ (PS, Gin writin' ^^)

"…Ichimaru, do you know what the 'shock' is?"

"Nah, Aizen-taichou wouldn't tell me!"

"…Che, why don't we just spilt up and look for this 'big shock'? I'll go with Halibel."

"Ta'day is da day where ya aren't da King an' Queen anymore! So yer gonna go with Ulqui and-"

"Seeing that this is my mission or whatever, we're all staying together."

"Hai…"

~T~ A few hours later… (Tia is writing, since the letter in the middle is T)

"I'm gonna sit down under that tree! Who ever knew that it's so hot out here?"

"That's why we where protective uniforms, but _you_ decide on wearing an open jacket."

"To show off of course! You know what I'm talkin' about, Hali-OOF!"

"Shut up."

"GAHHHH! GET OFF OF ME!"

"…*stares at the girl that tackled Grimmjow from a tree* who're you…?"

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-you!"

"Tia-nee?"

"Tia-_nee_?"

"I MISSED YOU!"

"A-after all this time…NO! You…you…you're…"

*faints*

"Hm…Aizen-taichou DID say it'd be a shock ta ya, Tia-chan!"

"I have never seen Tia actually faint…odd…even funny if you think about it…"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Hana Harribel! Nice to meet ya! Who're you?"

"Cuarto Espada, Ulquiorra Cifer."

"Sexta Espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjquez."

"Second in command o' Aizen-taichou's army, Ichimaru Gin!"

"And that is Tercera Espada, Tia Harribel," said Ulqui-orra.

"Hm…I don't like remembering names…BUT YOU BETTER REMEMBER MINE! Anyways, I'll cal you Emospada, Bluez, and Smiley."

"Hehe, I like mah name!"

"…Emospada…?"

"Can't you call me something else instead of Bluez?"

"Kitty."

"…Bluez is perfectly fine…"

~G~ Back ta da throne room…

"Aizen-taichou, is she da 'shock' ya found?"

"Yes, she is Arrancar no. 89, Hana Harribel."

"Ya mean she's older den Leola?"

"Yes…please bring her in also…"

~G~ In the throne again!

"Yes, Aizen-sama?" asked Leola-chan as she bowed.

"Leola, meet your new comrade, Hana. She is Harribel's long lost sister."

"Nice to meet you…"

"You will be the new Decima Espada's fraccion."

"…Riyalago-san…?"

"No, he got kicked out…"

"Oh…Who's the new Decima."

"He ain't tellin'!"

"…No I 'ain't' telling. Please get along…"

"Alright…"

"OMG, Leola, wanna go shopping?"

"YA!"

"…Yer excited…"

"It's one of the things that I actually love!"

"What else do ya love?"

"Ilforte-nii, my big brother of course!"

"…"

~T~

Ichimaru gave me his 'Diary-kun' to write in…

I cannot believe it…I have a sister…

Heck, she's WAY too bouncy to be my sister!

_HIYA, TIA-NEE!_

Uh…hello…Hana…

_I can't believe I have a sister that's an Espada! You're THE best girl in Las Noches! Heck, you're the best woman in all of HUECO MUNDO!_

Thank you…? And I can't believe my sister is a…numero…

_Really? Awww, that's so sweet, Tia-nee! You're the greatest! Can I get you anything?_

Um…Sun-Sun is getting me tea, Mila-Rose is getting me a towel for my forehead, and Apache is getting some classical music from Ulquiorra so I can calm down…

_What can I get you?_

Um…*looks around* If you look in my fourth drawer, I have a night gown in there… Could you get it for me…?

_OKAY! *rushes over*gets it*hands it to Tia*_

"That's a really pretty night gown, Tia-nee! It doesn't look like you use it much though…"

"I only use it when I'm under great stress and special occasions."

"Oh…what kinda special occasions?"

"Uh…my birthday…"

"Oh…Do you know who the new Decima Espada is?"

"Um…yes…"

"WHO? TELL ME TIA-NEE!"

"I can't, but they ARE someone that's kinda new around here…"

"I THINK I KNOW WHO!" *rushes out with Diary-kun*

~U~ With Ulquiorra…

"I HAVE A GENUIS IDEA!" *hand shoots up in the air!* (AN: Have you ever done that? You thought of something and your hand shoots up into the air for no reason? XD I just did that and it hit a balloon…ALMOST sending it toward the fan…XD)

"What, trash?"

"…*pauses for dramatic affect* "

"…I forgot…"

"Oh…"

"…Hey, Ulquiorra?"

"Yes, Grimmjow?"

"What's a mankini?"

"…"

"HIYA! I'M HANA HARRIBEL!"

"Trash, go and show Grimmjow what a mankini is."

"WILL DO! But uh…what's a mankini?"

Ulquiorra: *google images one from his mini laptop in his pocket*

Grimmjow: … O.O OMFG

Hana: …BWAHAHAHAHHA!

~U~

"What were you here for, trash?"

"I dunno…hey, Ulquiorra-sama, do you know what Rated T means?"

"It is rated T for teen. Meaning audiences in their teenage years and older should watch/read/play the…product…"

"Nope!"

"…"

"Rated T for toilets!"

"…You got that from Grimmjow, didn't you…?"

~U~ *sigh* SAVE ME FROM HARRIBEL'S EVI- I MEAN TRASHY SISTER.

Hana is quite…random, don't you think?

"Ulqui-sama!"

"Trash, my name is _Ulqui__orra_. NOT Ulqui."

"But it's so boring!"

"…How many people do you know with the name Ulquiorra?"

"…you…"

"Exactly."

"Fine… Ulquiorra!"

"You forgot the 'sama'…"

*sigh* "You're great and all, but it's gotta be one or the other, Ulqui-sama, or Ulquiorra."

"…Call me Ulquiorra than…"

"Guess what, Ulqui-sama?"

*sigh* "WHAT?"

"CHICKEN BUTT!"

"…"

"Oh, and we're supposed to find Arrancar no. 88…I think he might be the next Decima Espada!"

"I can't tell you who it is…even if you're right or wrong."

"LET'S GO!"

"Why me…?"

"Bluez wouldn't come with me!"

"Trashy Grimmjow…"

"COME ON, EMOSPADA!" *drags Ulquiorra away*

~H~ HANA IS WRITIN' HERE!

"I'm a lil' teapot, short and small! Here is my handle, here is my spout! When I get all steamed UP! THAN I SHOUT! TIP! ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT!"

"…So…are you a teapot…? Or the tea inside it…?"

"It's too complicated so I dunno…Emospada, SMILE!"

"No."

"WHY? You NEVER SMILE!"

"Why is it that you people get the impression I never smile…?"

"CUZ YOU NEVER SMILE!" 

"That is not true; it is just that you people are trash. Who would smile at trash?"

"So…YOU ACTUALLY SMILE!"

"Just not in public…"

"SMILE! EMOSPADA!"

"You make it sound like I'm you zanpaktou, trash…"

"I wish I could be your fraccion! You're so funny!"

"…I'm not doing my job right than…"

~H~ INSIDE ONE OF THE TOWERS! With me, HANA!

"Dammit…dammit…dammit…dammit…"

"What are you doing, trash?"

"I'm trying to get myself to cry."

"…"

"I figured that if hit my head against the wall a bunch of times while thinking sad things, I'll cry."

"…why would you want to cry? Does crying not represent the emotion of sadness? I heard sadness is a bad thing…"

"Crying doesn't ALWAYS have to be cuz you're sad! I just wanna cry for the heck of it!"

"…Watch this than…"

*hands Hana a DVD of Episode 272 AKA Ulquiorra's Death*

*half an hour later*

*CRIES* "EMOSPADA YOU'RE AMAZING!"

"…go away…"

"OKAY!" *leaves*

Today is not my day…

*five minutes later*

"EMOSPADA!"

"…"

"DON'T IGNORE ME!"

"I have every right to."

"NO YOU DON'T! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!"

"…that is what I have been doing…And I am a higher rank! I don't listen to you!"

"EMOSPADA! TALK TO ME OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU LOVE TIA-NEE!"

"I don't trash…actually…I think I'm the only man in Las Noches who doesn't like her…"

"YOU DON'T THINK SHE'S PRETTY? TIA-NEE IS GONNA KILL YOU!"

"It is forbidden for the Espada to fight each other. Meaning she can't kill me."

"YEAH SHE CAN! She's Espada tres and you're only the Cuarto!"

"No…I meant she is not _allowed_ to kill me, she has the ability to, and she isn't permitted."

"…BLUEZ FIGHTS YOU ALL THE TIME!"

"He always loses. I do not kill him and it has been going on since…I don't know when, but Aizen-sama sees it as 'sparring between comrades'."

"I HATE YOU, YOU MEANIE EMOSPADA!"

"Those are merely words, what have you come here for anyways…?"

"I…!"

"You…?"

"…forgot…"

"…Trash, get out of my sight or I swear I might just kill you."

"Tia-nee won't like you very much…"

"And…?"

"So?"

"And I should care because…?"

"So? You should care because she's a higher rank."

"And I don't really care because I can overpower her with…a secret weapon…"

"NO YOU CAN'T!"

"…Never mind…"

"HA! YOU LOSE!"

"…"

"Any who…help me find Kiatcero-kun!"

"Who…?"

"ARRANCAR NO. 88 JERICO KIATCERO-KIN!"

"…"

"He's awesome enough to be the Decima!"

"…Who is he?"

"YOU _DON'T_ KNOW WHO KIATCERO-KUN IS?"

"No, considering the fact that I am an Espada, Espada don't usually know the numeros…"

"YOU KNOW ME!"

"I know some numeros. Mostly fraccion."

"I'M NOT A FRACCION!"

"Yes you are. You are to be the next Decima's fraccion."

COOLIO! I GET TO BE KIATCERO-KUN'S FRACCION!"

"You are quite confident that he is the next Decima…"

"HE'S SO DREAMY!"

"What is he like?"

"He's serious, poetic sometimes, doesn't smile much, but when he does HE LOOKS…*sighs*"

"…I'm serious…"

"Yeah…I guess. You're poetic too if you think about it!"

"…"

"You don't smile much either."

"…"

"But when you do, wow everyone just falls for ya!"

"…Stupid fangirls…"

_(AN: *whaps his head* HEY! XDDD)_

"Ow…"

"What is it Emospada?"

"I have the impression that AN just whapped me in the head…"

"You're delusional!"

"…"

~G~

"Hiya, Hana-chan! Yer name means flower right?"

"Yeah! Anyways, SMILEY-CHAN, EMOSPADA!"

"Ya?"

"Why do you insist on calling me Emospada?"

"MEET ARRANCAR NO. 88 JERICO KIATCERO!"

"Hello, Ichimaru-sama, Ulquiorra-sama…" said da fellow with a bow.

"Kiatcero, do you know Harribel?"

"Hana-kun or Harribel-sama the Espada?"

"Hana."

"Yes…I just met her a few days ago…"

"Nice ta meet ya, Jerico-kun! Say, Hana-chan said ya don't smile a lot…"

"Pleasure…but I do smile…"

"KIATCERO-KUN, YOU'RE GONNA BE THE NEXT DECIMA ESPADA! AND you don't smile real big like!"

"Hm, well, I'm sorry if don't smile that much… …Hana-kun, I'm not so sure about myself being the next Decima… They would have informed me and I do believe I'm not strong enough…"

"YOU'RE REALLY STRONG, KIATCERO! And are you just playing along and pretending?"

"No, Hana-kun, I'm not, but I will join you three for the day."

"Actually, Kiatcero-kun, we got ta tell ya somethin'."

"Oh? And what is that, Ichimaru-sama?"

"Please! Call me Gin! And Ulqui-orra's gonna tell you."

"Arrancar No. 88, Jerico…Ki-at-cero…"

"Yes, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"You are to be one of the fraccion of the new Decima Espada."

"Wonderful! I have always wanted to serve under an Espada!"

"YAY! YOU'LL BE MY PARTNER, KIATCERO-KUN!"

"Along with Leola-chan!"

"…Oh yeah… COME ON LETS GO MEET HER!"

~After that little devil Hana and her friend Jerico left~

"Gin…why are we picking out the new Decima's fraccion? Don't the other Espada usually pick out their own?"

"Ya…but New Decima can't ruin da surprise! So dey picked out one and we can pick out two fer dem, but dis one let us pick three fraccion fer dem!"

"So the fraccion of New Decima will be Arrancar No. 88, 89, and 90, Jerico Kiatcero, Hana Harribel, and Leola Grantz?"

"Yuperoo! Dats all o dem! Uh oh…I gotta go…"

"Why?"

"It's time fer da meetin'!"

~G~ Sexta Espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

"Alright, so everyone is here, except Yammy of course, so please be silent and patient while Aizen-sama arrives," said Tousen as he left.

There were three weird people hanging around the pillars… I wonder who they are.

"Welcome, my dear Espada. I am here to reveal Project Secret."

"As you know, Yammy Riyalago is no longer part of the Espada…"

Cheers came from some people.

"And ya know dat dere are three no fraccion. We are here ta reveal da new Decima Espada."

"Please come in…Decima…" said Aizen as the giant double doors opened.

DAMN THAT LIGHT! 

It's so bright that we can only see the outline. I saw Ulquiorra, Halibel, Barragan, and Starrk just watch carefully cuz they already knew who it was.

The doors closed as the _Decima_ made their way down the stairs.

"Decima, please take a seat. Everyone, this is the result…of Project Secret."

"We have found our new Decima."

Everyone stared our new Decima as they sat down. I'm…surprised…but they do deserve it.

"Meet yer new Decima ev'ryone!" (_AN: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I WERE TO END THE CHAPTER RIGHT HERE?)_

Every Espada turned to look at the Decima. Every Espada, even Starrk.

Oh…my…fuckin'…Blots…

"Welcome, Mai Cifer…Decima Espada."


	51. AN Visits

This is mah Diary, Ichi-

_HI GIN-SAN~~~_

AN-CHAN!

_This is entry number 501!_

Ya! So…

Entry 501-504: AN Visits

_M'kay! I'm AN to you guys, but you can call me G. AI!_

OK!

_Entry 501_

What are you trash doing?

_INTERVIEWING YOU!_

…Excuse me…?

_YOU'RE EXCUSE, ULQUIORRA-KUN! _

…

_ALRIGHTY! FIRST QUESTION! _

…I refuse…

_I'll tell Aizen-sama that you're being mean…_

Trashy excuse…

…_How are you today?_

Fine…I guess…what's with the sudden change of mood?

_What do you think of Grimmjow?_

He's trash.

_Is Mai REALLY your sister?_

Aren't you AN? You should know the answer.

_YOU ARE?_

No…You knew that…

_Yeah^^ I did! *GLOMPS*_

O.O …What the-

_We all love you! NOW GLOMP EVERYONE!_

I refuse.

_I'LL PROCLAIM GRIMMJOW KING FOR AN HOUR AND MAKE YOU CLEAN HIS TOLIET!_

…Fine…only if they 'review' though…

_OKAY~! *glomps ulqui-chan again*_

…Good bye, messed up and trashy AN….

_BYE ULQUIORRA-KUN~!_

_Entry 502_

**HEY! I WAS EATING SOMETHING!**

_Yeah, sorry about that, but I'm giving the rest of the cat nip to Yoruchi-san._

**Grrrrrrr…**

_Bad kitty. If you growl at Mai like that, she'll cero you for being a pervert._

**She already did…**

_Figures…hey…HAVE YOU READ REACTION?  
_

**I think so…^^**

_FIRST QUESTION! What were you thinking when Mai was revealed to be the Decima Espada?_

**I GET TO SEE HER MORE! YESSSSS!**

_Interesting…and guess what?_

Um…hi everyone…

**MAI~ How are you today?**

Um…I'm fine…how're you?

**GREAT! Now that you're here!**

Er…who're you?

_Call me AN! ^^_

An?

_No, no, no! AN! As in the letters A and N._

Oh…

**So…you said 'guess what?' I'm still guessing, but didn't come up with anything…**

_Oh yeah! Hehehe *evil smile while rubbing hands together*_

…

…

_*continues rubbing hands together and smiling evilly*_

…

…

"GAHHH!"

"SORRY, ULQUI-ORRA! BUT I THINK I KICKED YA INTA ANOTHER FIC!"

"WHERE THE F*** AM I?" 

"…*looks through binoculars* APPARENTLY YER IN THE JOURNAL OF HAURI FUJIOKA IN THE OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB FIC THINGY MA BOBBER BY NINJACATS!"

…

…

_Anyways, Mai, Aizen said you have to stay in Grimmjow's room._

WHAT?

**YESSS!**

_What do you think about that?_

…I'm gonna go cry in the corner now…

_Don't worry! There's a good reason! Yammy trashed the place up so bad they had to fix it up, clean up, and change it a bit!_

**Bye, Mai~ See ya tonight!**

*sits in the corner*

…

**Anyways…OH YEAH! I'm a happy kitty now that Mai's the Decima ^^**

…_Good happy kitty… Did you know what the 'surprise' was if you or Szayel-san got voted the most?_

**No…what was it anyways?**

_*smiles* You wish you could know, don't you?_

**Yeah…**

_I'm not telling you._

**Fine, I probably wouldn't have cared anyways.**

_You would've. For sure._

…

_Alrighty, I couldn't think of any ideas for this chapter so I decided to ask questions. READERS, FEEL FREE TO SEND IN QUESTIONS IF YOU WANT ANOTEHR Q AND Q CHAPTER!_

…**Who the heck are you talking to…?**

_My readers. LAST QUESTION! _

**Finally…**

_What would you do if Mai liked you back?_

…**I dunno…Never thought about it…**

…_Yeah, you never think about anything._

_Entry 503_

Hello…

_Hi, Harribel-san! What do you think of Hana?_

…an annoying brat…

**TIA-NEE! **

_Welcome…Hana… Well, since there's so many OCs (I'M SORRY! THERE MIGHT BE TOO MANY OCS! GAHH)_

_I'll write one chapter about each one…later!_

…I'm going back to eat chocolates now…

**I'LL COME WITH YOU TIA-NEE!**

…

_TO GIN!_

_Entry 504_

Yo, AN!

_HI GIN!_

Hiya! How's yer time in Las Noches so far?

_Good… _

We gotta go shoppin' with Leola-chan next chapter…

_Oh…and the strawberry festival of some sort in Karakura?_

Ya, we ain't stayin' in time share place though…

_Oh…Hey, anything you wanna say to the readers? This isn't a funny chapter really, so say what you want!_

"EFF YOU FATE FER LETTING NNOITRA STEAL MY SOUP!"

…_Er…Ichimaru-san?_

Ya?

_I said readers, not fate or destiny or life or Aizen._

Oh…can I get a do over?

_Sure._

THANK YA FER 'REVIEWIN'. Uh…SINCE ULQUI-ORRA AIN'T HERE…I'LL GLOMP YA IF YA REVIEW!

_*glomps* I'm the authoress, I should get the first glomp._

Sorry, but Ran-chan got da first official glomp. ^^

_Oh well, I guess this is the end…_

WHAT? I AIN'T DONE WRITIN' IN MAH DIARY!

_No…I meant the end of the chapter…_

Oh… Ja bai bai, minna-chan!


	52. Half n Halves

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary

We're gonna go ta da World o da Livin' ta celebrate Mai-chan's Espada-ship!

Entry 505-510: Half n Halves

_Entry 505_

Tia: "ICHIMARU GIN! ARE YOU _TRYING _TO KILL US?"

Grim-jow: "HOLLLLLYYYYYY SHIIIIII-"

Mai: ""OWWWWW! I THINK MY LEG JUST SPILT!"

Starrk: *snores*

Nnoitra: "AHHHHHHHHHHH"

Me: (AKA! ICHIMARU GIN!): "WEEEEEE! FUN RIDE!"

_Entry 506_

"Ev'ryone find a partner!"

"I'll go with Tia…" *yawn*

"Mai'll be my partner!"

"I feel so unloved…"

"Don't worry, Nnoitra! Ya can be mah partner!"

"This just keeps getting worse…"

_Entry 507_

Tia-chan n Starrk went on da 'relaxin' rides, like da Merry Go 'round n da Ferris Wheel.

Mai-chan n Grim-jow decided ta play games n stuff n stuff at dis fair/carnival thingy.

(We didn't let da fraccion go shoppin' at all, so we stuck em in da Garganta and made em wait)

*What's PROBABLY happenin' in da Garganta*

Hana: "KIATCERO-KUUUUN!"

Leola: "I'm bored."

Jerico: "Eh…why don't we play a game…?"

Apache: "I didn't bring anything to bet with…"

Sun-Sun: "Does every game you play have to involve betting?"

Mila-Rose: "OF COURSE! Why don't we bet our clothes?"

Leola: "Good idea…"

Grimmjow's fraccion: "OKAY!"

Jerico: *nosebleed at mental images*

Hana and Sun-Sun: "NO!"

*Back ta me!*

…Maybe I shoulda stayed with dem…

…**I would've too, Ichimaru, I would've too…**

_Entry 508_

We ran inta Shinji Hirako n Hyori Sarugaki!

"You look stupid."

"YOU look stupid."

"Blondie, get your teeth fixed!"

"Pirate, get YOUR teeth fixed!"

"…"

"…"

Hyori-chan, do dey realize dey got da same teeth…?

Na, Shinji is just that stupid.

"DICKHEAD SHINJI!" *She whacks 'im with 'er flip flop*

"OWWWWW!"

"YES! I FINALLY GOT THE GUM OFF OF MY SHOE!"

"GAH! IT GOT IN MY HAIR!"

_Entry 509_

Shinji: "You're an Arrancar/Espada, ain't ya?"

(obviously) Nnoitra: "Quinta Espada, Nnotira Jiruga! Who're you?"

Hyori: "We're Vizards, the masked army!"

Me(GIN!): "Aizen-san told me 'about dem vizards! Dere Shinigami turned Hollow!"

Shinji: "Yeah! Sosuke did this to us! And Arrancar are Hollow turned Shinigami! Sosuke did that to you, right?"

Nnoitra: "Yeah, why are we even dragged into this?"

Me: "Ya, Shinigami can fight Hollows, but Aizen-san wanted ta drag you half n halves inta it!"

Hyori: "STUPID AIZEN! Hollows and Shinigami can kill each other for all I care! But we half and halves, Vizards and Arrancar shouldn't have to get involved!"

Me: "Dat ain't nice, I agree with ya…"

Shinji: "Ne, I kinda like you, Shinigami and Espada."

Hyori: "They look like they can be part of the Freaky Smile Club you two can start…"

Me: "I'm Gin. Ichimaru Gin^^ I killed yer 3rd seat 'bout 109 years ago. Aizen-taichou told me ta keep dat a secret though."

Shinji: "…SOSUKE!"

Hyori: "You guys could revolt against Aizen and join us! I don't care as long as you don't try and murder us!"

Nnotira: "That ain't a bad idea, girlie!"

Me: "I'm all fer dat, but Aizen-san would kill us."

Hyori: "I know a good reason for you three to hang out, though."

"Huh?"

"YOU ALL GOT FREAKY SMILES."

"FREAKY SMILES CLUB! YAAAY!"

_Entry 510_

We're meetin' up with da others.

"Ichimaru-sama…why do you have a very large and suspicious and moving slightly bag…?"

"No reason^^"

"Okay…I promised my fraccion I would buy them each one outfit, so you'll have to wait."

"M'kay, me an' my very large and suspicious and moving slightly bag are gonna look 'round."

"…"

~Somewhere else in da store~

"Ew, Oi, Gin-iro, (AN: I think that means the color, silver in Japanese) why does your bag stink so much!"

"Ow, ow, ow! Hyori, you shoe is digging into my butt!"

"That ain't my shoe. It's my zanpaktou."

"GAH! YOU JUST CUT MY HAT!" *goes ta mope in da corner o da very surprisin'ly big bag*

"Gin?"

"Ran-chan!"

"I missed you!"

"Wait…weren't Tenth-Cap'n-san n you n Pet-sama our prisoners…?"

"Yeah, but taichou blasted us out with his bankai! Orihime had to stay because she isn't important."

"My hat…"

"Who're they…?"

"Shinji Hirako n' Hyori Sarugaki."

"I'll help him pick out a new hat!"

"No…Hyori broke my hat!"

"Shut up."

"Now it's a half and halves like me…"

"…"

"Just get back inta da bag, someone might see ya."

"Gin…are you kidnapping them…?"

"Ya could say dat…"

_END CHAPTER_

Aizen: Espada Snack Time…

Szayel: …Aizen-sama, where are the Cuarto, Tercera, Primera, Quinta, Sexta, Decima, and Gin?

Tousen: Uh…they went to the Living World to celebrate Mai's Espada-ship…and Ulquiorra is in an Ouran High School Host Club story by someone named NinjaCats.

Szayel: I WAS NOT INVITED? *mopes in the corner*

Aaroniero: What are we going to **do Aizen-sama**?

Aizen: …Party…

Zommari: WAAAAAAZAAAAAAAUP?

Aaroniero: WAAAAAAAAAA**ZZZZZUUUP?**

Szayel: Such bad grammar! It should be 'what's up?' or 'how are you?'!

Tousen: …sounds…like Justice…WAZZZZUP?

Aizen: WAAAAAAAAA ZZZZZZZZZ **UP**?

Everyone: DA CEILING O DIS RIDICULAIOUSLY HUGE MEETIN' ROOM!

_AN: This is the most insane, ridiculously OOC Espada Snack Time ever…and insanely random…_

_PLEASE REVIEW! I I'LL MENTION THE 200__th__ REVIEWER!_


	53. Stuck in da Bag

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Me an' mah very big an' suspicious an' slightly movin' bag are headin' back ta Las Noches.

Entry 511-520: Very Big n Suspicious n Slightly Movin' Bag

_Entry 511_

Mornin' Diary-kun!

We're back in Las Noches!

"GET OFF OF ME YOU PERVERT!"

…Oh ya…Mai-chan shares a room with Grim-jow…

"Cero!"

I wonder what he did dis time…

"OOOUUUUUCHH! MOTHER F#*&$% THAT HURTS!"

…Uh-oh…

I fer'got 'bout mah very big an' suspicious an' slightly movin' bag!

_Entry 512_

"BLAH! BAKA! I ALMOST SUFFOCATED IN THERE!"

"Hyori, there was surprisingly MORE than enough room in that bag."

"I know! But you kept kicking me! And you zanpaktou even got lost once…"

"Che, that's what you get for breaking my hat!"

"…I neva knew da bag had dat much room! Can I come in?"

"Sure, there's probably enough room for all the Espada and their fraccion!"

*gets inta da bag*all three are in an' we tie da bag up from da inside (somehow)*

"WOW! I fer'got 'bout da fridge I had in here!"

"Hey, I brought in some pillows and snacks!"

"Good idea for once, dickhead Shinji!"

"Let's 'ave a party in 'ere!"

"I BROUGHT MUSIC!"

"I GOTTA DISCO BALL! AND DA SAKE!"

"I HAVE A FLASHLIGHT!"

"PARRRRRTAAAHHHH!"

_Entry 513_

"Ichimaru! Where are you?"

"In 'ere, Grim-jow!"

"WHERE?"

"Da very big n suspicious n slightly movin' bag!"

*opens bag* "Wha…?"

"COME JOIN US BLUE FREAK!"

"Woah, who the heck are they?

"Half n halves like you! Da Vizards! Shinigami turned hollow like yer Hollow turned Shinigami!"

"Oh…hey! Is that sake?" 

"Ya! Join da party Grim-jow!"

"….Is there cat nip…?"

"Yeah, Urahara gave me some!"

"WOO-HOO! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"

_Entry 514_

"Ichimaru-sama! Where are you?"

"Let's go look in his room, Mai."

*in his room*

"Gin-san!"

"In 'ere, Szay-chan!"

"STOP CALING ME SZAY-CHAN WHERE EVER YOU ARE! My name's SzayEL Aporro!"

"MAI-CHAN, SZAY-CHAN, WE LOCKED OURSELVES IN 'ERE!"

"I don't really mind! It's comfy! I think we should bring in a couch."

"Grim-jow, I already got a futon."

"But that girl is sittin' in it…"

*unties bag*

"What the heck…?"

"May I come in?"

"Did you bring anytihn', Szay-chan?"

"…Er…a mini plushie of all of yo^^"

"NO!"

"I feel so rejected…"

"I have…a hair tie?"

"Dat's prettier den the current string we got ta tie da bag! Alrighty, come on in!"

"What about me…? I have…a laser tag system that's portable…"

"ALRIGHT!"

_Entry 515_

*pew pew pew pew pew pew pew*

…?

*PEW PEW PEW*

"HA! GOT YA DICKHEAD SHINJI!"

"HUH? HYORI, WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM!"

"Oops…"

…? Where is all this noise coming from?

"Gin-san! Get up and let's get Mai and Grimmjow back!"

"Where is everyone…?"

"TIA-CHAN, WE'RE IN DA VERY BIG AND SUSPSCIOUS AND SLIGHTY MOVIN' BAG!"

"Join us, Harribel-sama!"

*unties bag*

"…What the heck…? …May I come in?"

"What'd ya got?"

"Mini chocolates. My fraccion have paint."

"We could really color the place…"

"And being the genius Octava I am, I can fix up the laser tag system to make it paintball guns!"

"COME ON IN!"

"Er…okay…"

"I also have a pickle!"

"Okay!"

"How the heck are we able to fit 10 people, a futon, 15 pillows, a fridge, and a whole ton of food in here…?"

"A dunno, Tia-chan! Dis bag mighta come from Szay-chan's lab."

"MILA-ROSE! I TOLD YOU LAST TIME! DON'T FORCE FEED SUN-SUN THE SAKE!"

"How big is dis bag…?"

"I dunno, but they look like they're across the hall…even though from the outside…"

"PAINTBALL GUN FIGHT~!"

_Entry 516_

"Aizen-taichou!"

"Yes? Where are you?"

"In da very big and suspicious and slightly movin' bag!"

"…?"

"We tied da knot too tight an' we can't get out!"

"I guess I'll help you…"

*unties bag*

"Wow, there is so much room!" *steps in*

"HA! Hyori, I TOLD you that the stairs were a good idea!"

"He said it! You owe me 1800 yen, Grimmjow!"

"Uh oh…"

"What's wrong, Gin?"

"…It tied shut…so we're trapped in 'ere…again…"

"…O.O Szayel, what happened to you?"

"…Grimmjow, Gin-san, and Harribel-san went a bit…wild with the paintball gun…"

"Huh…you look…better than usual with blue hair…"

_Entry 517_

"HELP! WE'RE TRAPPED IN THE VERY BIG N SUSPICSIOUS N SLIGHTLY MOVIN BAG!"

"WE HAVE SAKE IF YOU WANT TO COME IN ANYONE!"

"HELP ME! GRIMMJOW'S HIGH ON SAKE AND CAT NIP! YOU KNOW HOW BAD THAT IS FOR ME?"

"THE PAINT IS GOING TO BE SO HARD TO GET OUT OF MY HAIR! SOMEONE GET ME MY SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER! THEY HAVE A SHOWER IN HERE!"

"HELP! THE KING OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING PLUS MORE IS TRAPPED AND LEFT HIS ZANPAKTOU IN THE THRONE ROOM!"

"I got an idea! _Ikorse, __**Shinso!**_"

O.O

That bag is strong…

_Entry 518_

"WOAHHH!"

"Nnoitra!"

"DAMMIT! YOU LOCKED YOURSELF IN!"

"Ohh! Sake!"

"Don't even think about it."

"…Is Aizen…-sama okay?"

"No, he's moping in the corner about how the King of Everyone and Everything plus More is trapped in a very large and suspicious and slightly moving bag."

_Entry 519_

Applestoapples (anonymous reviewer)'s birthday is ta'morrow!

So…Tia-chan's _italics,_ **Grim's bold**, and Nnoitra's underlined. I'm regular! Comments from us're in (parentheses)!

_Happy Birthday, Apple-person_

**Happy birthday to you…**

Though we really don't care,

I guess we won't sue!

(That ain't very nice Nnoitra! By da way, dis is ta da theme o Yankee Doodle!)

Happy birthday, Appleto!

_Hope you have some fun!_

Happy birthday to you…

Now go and get some sun!  


…

Overall, da message is…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY APPLESTA'APPLES!

(AN: I really do love giving you guys birthday songs (ROFLY) But after the next one, only people who have an account (AKA no anonymous people, sorry) can request a happy birthday on their birthday… (SORRY!)

_Entry 520_

*unties bag*

"YAMMY RIYALAGO IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY! I AM HERE! NO NEED TO CRY! FEAR AND LOVE ME!"

*everyone chucks mini chocolates, cat nip, sake, tomatoes, pickles, strawberries, and mac n cheese at Yammy*

"YUMMY~~~!" *eats em all*

O.O

"Go away trash."

"YOU'RE NOT ULQUIORRA!"

"Just because I use the word trash does not mean I am him!"

"WHATEVER! I am here to save you all!"

"Not really. You're just a fraccion now. And…"

"AND WHAT?"

"Stop screaming and you tied the bag after you came in."

"UH NOZIES!"

"…Riyalago?"

"Yeah?"

"WE HATE YOU!"

"OH NOZIES! WHY?"

"YOU FLIRTED WITH MY FRACCION!"

"YOU STOLE MY CAT NIP!"

"YOU TRIED CUTTING MY HAIR!"

"YOU MESSED UP MY LAB!"

"YOU TRIED TO STEAL MY HAKAMA!"

"YA…ARE UGLY!"

"OH NOZIES! DAT LAST ONE HURT, ICHIMARU! IT HURT DEEP!"

"Like…deep with salt on it? Dat deep?"

"YES!"

"GOOD!"

_End chapter._

…_WAYYY ooc for Yammy…_

_Hm, do you like the randomness better? Cuz I think I'm starting to get all too long chaptered and not so funny so I threw in the bag to be funny_

Aizen: E-Espada Snack Time.

Ichigo: This isn't working out well…this bag is starting to get…full…

_**FLASH BACK TIME!AN: Imagine the bag full…as in…its crowded, you'll probably elbow some peoples you walk, but you can still walk XD**_

*an hour later*

"Okay…now a few Shinigami, all da Vizards, pretty much every Espada, commander, an' fraccion of Las Noches, n all our stuffed animals are in 'ere…"

"Nii-sama, how the heck did we get here…?"

"Rukia, it was all your fault for the bad directions!"

"Whatever Ichigo, I'm starving!"

"Okay, we'll eat the pizza sandwich. No, down, Yammy! ESPADA only! There's a reason why we call it Espada Snack Time!"

*everyone that's not an Espada stares at the portable long table, chairs, and throne Aizen had with him*

"Have some tea, my dear Espada."

"We're so hungry…"

"Ya Vizards can 'ave some food! Half n Halves help each other!"

"HA! SUCKS FOR YOU, LOSERS!"

"We're starving…"

"Yeah! You dragged us Half and Halves into this, Sosuke! So you don't deserve anything!"

"B-but-!"

"BUTT NOTHING!"

"Haha, you said BUTT!"

"Shut up, Rose. Anyways, DIG IN EVERYONE!"

"What 'bout me?"

"Ichimaru Gin can eat."

"Yayz^^"

"WHY HIM?"

"He's part of the Freaky Smile Club. And we like him, unlike you crazy idiots."

"FOR OUR SAKE'S! THE STUFFED ANIMALS GET SAKE AND WE DON'T?"

"Yer too young! And dey need ta get out more!"

"S-so…hungry…"

"WAIT! I have a Freaky Smile!" *does a creepy smile*

"Eff no."

"WHY?"

"Dat's creepy."

"So?"

"We're da FREAKY Smile Club! Not da Creepy Smile Club! Che, den ev'ryone would be able ta join in!"

"WHAT'S TE DIFFERENCE!" 

"Freaky is cooler! An' Creepy is just creepy! We're freaky an' yer creepy! It's ta complicated fer ya ta understand! Freaky is freaky an' creepy is creepy!"

O.O ~?


	54. Stuck in da Bag 2

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

We're still stuck in his bag…

Entry 521-530: Very Big n Suspicious n Slightly Movin' Bag Part 2

_Entry 521_

"Mornin' ev'ryone…"

"Shuzzup, Itsy-marlu…"

"Yer half drunk, ain't ya Tousen-san?"

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

O.O

"We told ya da bag is strong, Kurosaki."

"Head count time…"

"Hai, Aizen-taichou…"

"Gin, Tousen, Mai, Aaroniero, Szayel Aporro, Zommari, Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Harribel, Barragan, Starrk, Lilnette, Tesla, Apache, Sun-Sun, Mila-Rose, Wonderwiece, Ggio, Findor, *shudders* Charlotte, Yammy, Ilforte, Di-roy, Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Rukia, Inoue Orihime, Kuchiki Byakuya, Shinji Hirako, Hyori Sarugaki, Rose, Love, Lisa, Hachi, Kensei, Mashiro, Abarai, Ishida, Sado, Neliel, Pesche, Dondacahkka, Loly, Menoly, Grin, Blots, Tentacles, Pink, Dracula (even though Ulquiorra isn't here), Chappy (Rukia's plush), Seaweed Ambassador (Byakuya's plush), Lady Cuddle Butts (Starrk's yorkie), and myself, the King of Everyone and Everything plus More! I think I got everyone…"

O.O "That's a lot of people…"

"No, really?"

"Is everyone here…?"

"Here, Aizen-taichou!"

"Present, Aizen-sama,"

"Here!"

"Here!"

"Present!"

"Here."

"HERE!"

"This'll take FOREVER! We're all here! You can effin' see that!"

"SILENCE NNOITRA JIRUGA! But you are right…"

_Entry 522_

"CONGRATUALTIONS AERO ACE! Yer da 200th Reviewer!"

"Ichimaru, who the heck are you talking to…?"

"Da readers, Rukia-chan^^"

"…Nii-sama…the man needs help…even if he is with Aizen."

"I agree, Rukia."

*five seconds later*

"Gin…"

"Ya, Aizen-taichou?"

"My brother…it has come to my attention that…you…hear voices."

"But ev'ryone hears it! Dere called reviews from people on FanFiction called Reviewers!"

"…I understand; the voices really do bother you…"

"No dey don't! Dey're nice! Dey helped entertain me 'round 'ere!"

"…Kuchiki Byakuya, you said that was a bad thing! As long as he doesn't bother my Espada, he's fine!"

"…Ichimaru…"

"Ya, Byakuya-san?"

"BOTHER THOSE DAMN ESPADA SO THE WAR CAN BE OVER!"

"What war? If dere is one, it ain't startin' yet! Can ya see inta da future? If ya can, den YER da weird one, not me!"

"Ichimaru, I never-"

"Nice chattin' ta ya, Byakuya-san. Hisana-san says hi!"

"S-she reincarnated?"

"Ya, she's a very nice lil' lady!"

"…"

*Byakuya-san mutters in da fetal position in da corner behind da couch when no one (but moi) notices…*

_Entry 523_

"Rukia-chan…"

"Y-yes, Ichimaru?"

"Will ya play a prank on Bya-kun with me? He don't believe Hisana is real I think…"

"…Indirectly, sure…"

"M'kay!"

*five seconds later*

"Hisana-nee-san! I can't believe it's you… Nii-sama misses you so much! He even cries over you sometimes!"

"Ya do dat, Byakuya-san?"

"I DO NOT!"

"Hahaha…"

"Shut it, Gin, you do that too over Matsumoto-fuku-taichou."

"SHUZZUP!"

"WHERE is Hisana?"

"Erm… By-a-ku-ya-_sama_…" 

"H-Hisana…?"

"Uh, yup^^… It's me, alright…Bya-kuya-_sama_…"

"Hisana, the years that have gone by without you have been like a living nightmare. You complete me…" *Mah thoughts… He's my age? Ne, old man yer gettin' all mushy mushy!

"Er…thank you? I mean…you too…?"

"Hisana, abandon Aizen and come live with me. I do not care if you are a hollow and I am a Shinigami. All that matters is our love."

"…"

"AHAHAHA! Byakuya-kun, ya can't even recognize yer lover! Dat's not Hisana!"

"…Fool! I am taking her with me! Bankai! Sebonzakura Kageyoshi!"

"NO! I'M NOT YOUR DEAD WIFE! I'M MAI CIFER DECIMA ESPADA!"

"Hisana has reincarnated into an Espada…?"

"NO! ICHIMARU-SAMA JUST DIED MY HAIR BLACK AND WHATNOT!"

"…Oh…"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'oh'? YOU JUST UNLEASHED YOUR BANKAI!"

"Oh shi-"

_Entry 524_

*after it all blows ova*

Aizen: "May I ask…WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING…MY DEAR ESPADA?"

Espada: "We're rolling on the floor, what does it look like we're doing?"

"…Hm, I see…WHY?"

"We're tired."

"…So…you roll on the floor to waste your energy furthermore…?"

"Yup…and technically…we're not rolling on the floor. We're rolling in the very big and suspicious and slightly moving bag."

_Entry 525_

"OUCH!"

"What the heck…?"

"Someone's movin' da bag!"

"HEY YOU OUT THERE! PUT US DOWN OR I'LL KILL YOU WHEN WE GET OUTTA HERE!"

"EH? Uh…uh…I'M SO SORRY SPIRIT BAG!" *random Arrancar runs away*

"…Nice goin', Kurosaki. Now we're stuck in 'ere."

"Uh-oh...Gin…"

"Ya, Aizen-taichou?"

"You know those 'reviews' you hear?"

"Ya…I write 'em down so I don't fer'get 'em!"

"…someone wants to turn us into some stupid game where they pay five dollars and they get to pull one of us out of a bag!"

"Let's get rid of Zommari. He's always on a mission."

"I am right here…"

"All in favor of getting Zommari to a fangirl…or fan guy… say I!"

"**I!"**

"…"

_Entry 526_

"HISANA!"

"…Byakuya-san…I'm Mai…"

"Oh yeah…"

_Entry 527_

"ITSYGO!"

"Neliel! Yer so annoying when you're a kid!"

"Isn't she so cute, Nnoitra-san?"

"NO!"

"WAHHHH! NNOITRA YER SO MEAN! NEL DON'T LIKE YOU!"

"FINALLY! I HATE YOU TOO!"

"GIVE ME A PIGGY BACK RIDE!" 

"NO! I REFUSE!"

*five seconds later*

"Nel like Nnoitra-kun now!"

"…"

"This ain't a very funny entry…"

"Gin…"

"Ya, Aizen-taichou?"

"You need to stop recording every conversation during the day."

"I don't write down ALL of 'em. Like I didn't write down dat one where ya were watchin' soap operas with Ulqui-orra and had a very serious talk 'bout who's da daddy o some baby on some show…"

_Entry 528_

"DAYS OF OUR LIVES WILL RETURN IN A MOMENT." _AN: I don't own Days of Our Lives. Heck I don't even watch it. My neighbor's mom does though…_

"Ne, Sosuke! You've hogged the TV for FIVE HOURS! Let someone else watch!"

"Fine…Grimmjow, you watch…"

"YES! SECOND SEASON OF BLUES CLUES, HERE I COME!"

"Ne, Blue should be a cat."

"Never thought I'd say this, Kurosaki, but I EFFIN' AGREE!"

_Entry 529_

"BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

"What'cha doin', Kurosaki?"

"Ichigo, who's laptop is that?"

"Gin's. AND I JUST FOUND ULQUIORRA'S WEAKNESS!"

"Through a Bleach Funny Comics video…?"

"Oh, I saw one, Ichigo. It said 'The Amount of Blood in Kurosaki Ichigo's Body' and I saw Grimmjow and Ulquiorra drowning and blood up to the towers of Las Noches!"

"What's Ulqui-orra's weakness?"

"Watch this!"

*in da video*

Misa (from Death Note): "Hiya!"

Ulquiorra: *glances at her* "…Why am I in the same panel as her?"

Grimmjow: *pops in* "Cuz your name sounds Ugly-whore-a!"

Ulquiorra: *vein pop*glares*

Misa: *face says WTF?*

*out da video*

"What the…?"

"Ichimaru, what the heck…?"

"Ya asked me ta handcuff ya two, Grim-jow."

"No I didn't…"

"Liar."

"Really, Grimmjow? I have to share a room with you and that's still not enough?"

"He wants a lil somethin' somethin' ^^"

*PUNCH TA DA FACE :(*

_Entry 530_

"Ugly-whore-a! Haha! I should start callin' him dat!"

"Ugly-whore-a? HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ulquiorra-sama will be mad at you when he finds out you're calling him that."

"Aw^^ Mai, you look cute with your hair down."

"That's because I had to use my hair tie as this bag's 'lock'. Why can't we just untie it from the inside?"

"Cuz I got Szayel Aporro to switch yer hair tie."

"WHAT? Why?"

"Grim-jow said ya look cuter with yer hair up."

"And…?"

"You wear your hair down too much!"

"…Not helping, Grimmjow."

"So Grim-jow got me ta get Szayel ta make a hair tie dat can only be taken off by some peoples."

"Which are…?"

"Szayel himself."

"He's passed out, so he won't help…"

"Hey, wait, what about me? I put on the hair tie yesterday…"

"Anyone can put it ON, but only a few peoples can take it OFF."

"Who else?"

"Grimmjow."

"I can't untie anything with one hand."

"Mai."

"I'm handcuffed to Grimmjow. Does it look like I can? Can you?"

"Nope… Ulquiorra can."

"He's not here."

"Wait, how did all the other people get in?"

"Szayel had a remote."

"…Wait…is this why Grimmjow randomly gave me that hair tie that was blue, light blue, green, and pink…?"

"Maybe…"

"NAP TIME!"

"Let's go, Mai."

"NO! I mean, no! UN-HANDCUFF US ICHIMARU-SAMA!"

"Can't."

"WHY?"

"Da little retard ate da only key."

"I take offence to that," said Rukia.

"No, not ya Rukia-chan! Wonderwiece!"

"Warrrrrggghhh."

"Ya seem more desprete den usual ta get away from Grim-jow."

"Uh…no, that's ridiculous! It's not like something happened! Nothing between me and Grimmjow happened that a few people happened to walk in on! How could you suggest a thing?"

"I didn't…"

_End chapter!_

_Hm…CONGRATS TO AERO ACE! THEY ARE THE 200__th__ REVIEWER!_

Grimmjow: Espada Nap Time.

Gin: "Ya fer'got da S fer Snack Time, Grim-jow."

Grimmjow: "It's nap time, and we're running low on food since Yammy broke into the stash…

Gin: "Oh…G'night den!"

*a few minutes of silence later*

"…Mai…?"

"Hm…?"

"You awake?"

"No, I'm sleep talking right now, Grimmjow."

"Oh…night than…"

"It's always night…"

"Good point… hey, Mai?"

"What?"

"Do you think it's awkward that we're handcuffed together?"

"…Grimmjow, you make wayyy too many hand gestures."

"Your point?"

"YES, it's awkward! I'm pretty much on top of you!"

*slightly perverted thoughts* (AN: BAD GRIMMY XD) "You don't like being on top?"

"No, I don't, it's awkward. Now will you please do me a favor by letting go of me, you perverted stupid ca- oof!"

"If ya don't like being on top, you can be on the bottom."

"Grimmjow, dis is a HUMOR story! Not a romance one! Geez, Kitty-san, whaddya want me ta do? Call dis Espada Romance Time?" (AN: I could practice writing romance here! ROFLY)

"Good idea, Gin…"

"NO! Get off of me!"

"You enjoy it, don't you, Mai~?"

"NO! GTFO!"

"Awww, such a bad mouth for a girl! Why don't we-"

*KNEE TA DA CROTCH!*

"NO!"

_Author's Notes:_

…_Espada Romance Time… ROFLY._

_I would practice my romance writing rofly rofly!_

_MY BIRTHDAY'S ON SATURDAY! YAYZ!_

_Guess who old I am?_

_Whoever guesses closest will…uh…get to choose an Espada to take home!_

_Sorry, NinjaCats, you can't guess. You already have Ulquiorra so don't whine XD_

_(Should I continue Espada romance (/humor) time?( Nah, I suck at romance^^)_

_PLEASE REVIEW!_


	55. Stuck in da Bag 3

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

STILL. STUCK. IN. DA. BAG!

Entry 531-540: Very Big n Suspicious n Slight Movin' Bag Part 3

_Entry 531_

"WHITE BALLOONS!"

"SHUT UP, TOUSEN!"

*sigh* 'pparently, Mashiro (da green haired Vizard) had a Wii and da game Wii Sports Resort.

Tousen-san loves da Island Flyover and is tryin' ta get da stamp where ya pop all da white balloons at all times ta fly.

"WHITE BALLOONS! WHITE BALLOONS!"

"ARRRRRRGGGAAAAWAAA!"

"SHUT UP! TOUSEN, YOU'RE BLIND! HOW CAN YOU EVEN PLAY THE STUPID GAME?"

"Says da one dat SUCKS at table tennis."

"Shut up, Gin! Ping pong hurts my pride so I pretend I 'suck' at it!"

"Sure, Byakuya-kun. Whatever ya say."

_Entry 532_

"HA! I'm winnin' Aizen-taichou! Take DAT!"

"Ouch! Grimmjow, don't move so much! I'm trying to have a conversation with Harribel-sama!"

"Ha! I'm beating you too, Aizen-SAMA!"

"But I have gotten ahead of you, Espada."

"Now…I AM BEATING YOU ALL! HAHAHA! AS KING I SHALL RULE!"

"Ev'ryone, but me, Aizen-taichou!"

"Now I'm ahead of you all!"

"NO! MY PRIDE! I'M LOSING!"

"HAHAHAHA! I HAVE WON! I AM THE KING!"

"Yeah, you get a little paper crown. Congrats."

"OUCH! Grimmjow! That hurts! Really, why would it take so much moving in a game of CANDY LAND!"

_Entry 533_

I'm gonna go snoop 'round!

Letsee what Mai and Grimmjow and Nnoitra is doin'! 

"Ow! Grimmjow! STOP! You're hurting me!"

"What? Rock, paper, scissors too rough for ya?"

"CRAP! 5 outta 8, Sexta! Or are you a scardy-KITTY to except a challenge? "

"Deal!"

"OUCH! Yes, it's too rough! You move your arm way too much!"

"So?"

"It hurts."

"And…?"

"Well…ugh! I may have a broken leg…but…"

*KICK YA DA FACE* (Cuz kickin' his tummy won't work. Yer foot'll go right through his hollow hole!)

"THE CAST JUST MAKE THE KICKS MORE PAINFUL."

"HA! I BEAT you, Jaegerjaquez!"

_Entry 534_

Letse what Starrk n Lilinette n Tia-chan're doin'!

"STARRK! I swear if you say that _one more time_ than I am going to kill you!"

"But I'm the Primera… You can't kill me…"

"I CAN KILL YOUR LAZY ASS IF TIBURON HELPS ME!"

"…But Tiburon-"

"Say it and I swear, Lilinette is the one that's going to be lonely."

"S-Starrk, don't say it! She looks like she can kill Aizen-sama right now!"

"DAMMMIT I SHOULD KILL TRAITOR-SAMA!" 

"Hey, don't call me Traitor-sama! But I'm glad ya see da respect fer me ta call me -sama!"

"NOT YOU ICHIMARU, AIZEN…-SAMA."

"Starrk! She's scaring me! DON'T SAY IT!" 

"Fish are food, not friends!"

"_UTE_, _**Ti**__**burón!**__"_

"Uh-oh…"

_Entry 535_

Letse what…Tousen-san an' da lil' drooler is doin'…

"Warrrrrrzzzzzaaaaaaarrrrrp."

"No, good try, Wonderwiece, but try again."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzz!"

"Good job! You are getting closer!"

"What're ya tryin' ta get him ta say?"

"You'll see, but you accent is unjust so please shut up."

:(

"Whaaaaazzzzzpppp!"

"Closer!"

"WHAAAZZZZZUUUP?"

"YES! YOU SAID IT!"

"WHAAAAAZZZUP?" 

"WHAZZZZUUUUP?" 

O.O~!

_Entry 536_

"Aizen-taichou, Szayel Aporro-kun, whaddya doin'?"

"Making a new Arrancar baby."

O.O~? X 1,234,567,890

"With the fancy H thingy."

Oh…

"And my Pocket Portable Lab!"

"EVERYONE TAKE COVER!"

"Why…?"

"CUZ SZAYEL AND I ARE MAKING AN ARRANCAR BABY!"

"BUT YOU'RE BOTH GUYS AND-"

"WITH THE FANCY H THING!"

"Ohhhhh!"

*five seconds later*

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Who're you?"

"I-HAHAHA-dun-HAHHAH hee hee hee! I DUNNO! BWAHAHAHA!"

"Can I keep her, Aizen-taichou?"

"Depends, hey, are you a he, or a she?"

"HAHAHAHAHA! I'M-AHAHAHAH BWAHAHHA! DON'T REALLY-HEE HEE HEE! HOO HOO HOO! KNOW! BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"You can keep…it. Little one, your new daddy is Gin, I am your Almighty AWESOME Uncle Aizen!"

"HAHAHA! GIN! HAHAHA YOU- BAHAHAHAHA! SMILE A LOT! HAHAHAHA!"

"Is dat good?"

"HAHAHA YEAH!"

"I'll name ya Rofly."

"Why? ….AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Cuz yer Rollin' On Floor Laughin'-y"

"Why don't you-HAHAHA-name me-HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Roflmao? AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"That can be yer real name! Welcome ta Las Noches, Hueco Mundo, Roflmao! Er, Rofly!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

_Entry 537_

Let's see what da Vizards are doin'!

Kensei: "Why the heck is Rose Juliet?"

Love: "He looks like a girl. And I need to practice for my audition…"

Rose: "I'M A GUY! WE ALL ARE EXCEPT MASHIRO AND LISA!"

Hyori: "HEY! I'M A GIRL!"

Shinji: "You don't look like one…"

Mashiro: "Romeo and Juliet! I can be Juliet and Kensei can be Romeo!"

Lisa: "Quiet down, I'm reading my magazines."

Hachi: "Do you ever stop reading your…'magazines'?"

Me: "What're her magazines?"

Vizards ('cept Hachi) "…Hehe…"

*hands me da magazines*

Me: "What's dis abo-HOLY FOX PLUSHIES!"

Shinji: "Looks like Ichimaru Gin's more innocent den Sosuke!"

Me: "PERVERTS!"

Hyori: "Then why are ya still readin' 'em, Gin-iro!" (AN: the color Silver in Japanese)

_Entry 538_

Lisa-san let me borrow her magazines…but I'm gonna give 'em ta Wonderwiece ta give ta Tousen-san ta give ta Aizen-taichou!

Hehehe…

"Wonderwiece-kun…"

"Waarrrrrlg?"

"Give dis ta Tousen-san."

"Waaa-huh."

*few seconds lata*

"Aizen-sama…"

"Yes, Kaname?"

"Here is your literature entertainment."

Dang Tousen n his fancy words…

"Ah, thank you, Kaname."

*five seconds later*

"LISA!"

"ICHIMARU GIN!"

"Uh… ULQUIORRA!"

"He isn't here, idiot."

"Crap…I'm I trouble, ain't I?"

_Entry 539_

"Yoo-hoo! I am here, Minna-chan!"

"Urahara-san?"

"Ohhh, it seems my Garganta led to the wrong place…"

"WOAH! YOU'RE THE HALF AND HALVES AREN'T YOU?"

"Jinta-kun, don't yell…They look like they could kill us…"

"We can."

"OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE THAT CAT ARRANCAR AREN'T YOU! GREAT! I brought a ball of yarn for you!"

"WOO-HOO! YES!"

"Lilinette…not you…"

"DANG IT!"

_Entry 540_

"WAIT! If Szayel has a remote, than why don't we use it?"

"My little brother made it finger print activated."

"He wears gloves…"

"I know, he's that messed up. When I tried to mess with it, his fraccion tried to eat me!"

"COME ON EVERYONE! LET'S PARRRR-TAH!"

"...?"

"Grimmjow…are ya high on sake AND catnip?"

"YUSH! Come on, Mai!"

"No! Help me!"

"Put yer heads down, an' roll a-round! Just roll away from da couch! Hittin' our heads, so much! Szayel not wakin' up! Put our heads down an' roll a-round! Now we're all passin' out! Yay~! It's a party in da Bag! Yay~! It's a party in da Bag!"

O.O~? ^^ "…"

_Wow, ROFLY. Parody or whatever of Party in the USA. LOL took me forever with my friends screaming and singing and whatnot._

_MY BIRTHDAY IS TODAY! _

_I lot of you guessed I was around 16-18_

_LOL __**PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME BY MY AGE!**_

_You've all been waiting…_

_Today…I turn…13 Years Old._

_No, it's not a joke. I really am 13 today._

_THE WINNER IS KATIZO TERUSEI! Who guessed that I was 14 or 15. CONGRATS YOU GET NNOITRA JIRUGA! THE SEXIST QUINTA BASTARD!_

Tia Harribel: WOO-HOO!

Espada Romance Time…_AN: I'm not gonna go all detailed or too much detail at all, really. I'm just gonna have it like short and diary-ish_

Ne, Mai-chan says Grim-jow bein' perverted don't count as romance…

Ah well^^ we're gonna see what Coyote-kun n Tia-chan're doin'…! (It's nap time!)

*yawn*

"May I join you, Starrk?"

*yawn* "Sure, Tia…"

"…Why are you and Lilinette so lonely…?"

"*yawn* our reiatsu was so strong it killed others who got close to us…"

"Oh…I'm guessing I'm strong enough to not get killed?"

"Ha, yeah, you're one tough cookie." *yawn*

"I'm still not forgiving you for calling me food."

"I never called you food. *yawn* I said fish were food."

"…"

"Are shark considered fish?"

"…Yeah…"

"Hm…*slight yawn* I like fish, they taste good."

*obviously, vein pop!*

"Shut up!"

"…Hm…hehe…" *Well, guess what? Starrk's thinking slightly perverted thoughts or something along the lines of that!*Hm…he WOULD kiss her, but with the hollow mask and collar that might be hard…So~*

"STARRK, YOU PEVERT! Don't you DARE think about me like that!"

"Hm, whatever, Tia. Sorry 'bout what I said."

*Wow, Coyote really is that lazy to care*

"What…?"

"I said I'm sorry."

"…"

"What? Do I need to prove it?"

"Being the lazy person you are, yes, you do."

"Fine…*yawn* I suck at this Mr. Romance figure so complaints."

"Sure…wait! What do you mean Mr. Rom-?"

Awww! Coyote-kun hugged Tia-chan!

"I'm sorry, Tia. Will you forgive me?" *ya could tell me was tryin' not ta laugh*

"Hm…sure, Starrk, I forgive you."

*Ya, Tia-chan is tryin' not ta laugh too!*

*That is quite romantic! She's hugging him back!*

*Cue da squeals. Wait! Aizen-san, what are ya doin' here?*

*I'm bored. Yes, even evil master minds like myself get bored, Gin*

Lilinette just stared at the two.

*stops huggin'*

"Lilinette? Are you alright?"

"OH MY GOSH!"

"What?"

*runs tad a middle o da bag*

"HEY EVERYONE! STARRK'S TRYING TO KILL HALIBEL BY CRUSHING HER TO DEATH!"

…


	56. Stuck in da Bag 4

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

I'VE BEEN STUCK IN DA BA~AG! ALL DA LIV' LONG NIGHT!

(AN: I've been working on the rail road! All the live long day! XD)

Entry 541-550: Stuck in da Bag 4

_Entry 541_

"SHUZZUP I'M READING MY MAGAZINES!"

"Lisa, you said I could read some!"

"Too bad, Shinji! I'm readin' them!"

"Kensei! Don't read them! You have me!"

"Mashiro, its useless-HACHI! HACHI WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"Putting you in a barrier. This is what you get for stealing my bow tie."

"Actually, I took it."

"Yeah, you would, Rose."

"SAYS THE ONE WHO WEARS SUNGLASSES FOR NO REASON!"

*sigh* Ain't da vizards such a strange family?

_Entry 542_

Yammy: "I'M HUNGRY!"

Mai: "Yammy, you're not an Espada anymore! You don't get food."

Aaroniero "I can't believe you're weak enough **to get replaced by a little girl**."

Szayel: "You shouldn't judge people by their appearance, I mean look at me. A pink haired STRAIGHT man that can fight AND look bad*ss!"

Zommari: *meditates*

Grimmjow: "Che, come on, Mai, let's take a cat nap."

Nnoitra: *the creepy Nnoitra laugh* "You just wanna-"

Ulquiorra: "Shut up, trash. Don't think so much inappropriate thoughts."

…*realization hits all o us like…cats…*

Me: "WAIT! Nnoitra and Ulquiorra ain't here!"

Tousen: "They sure sounded like them…"

Tia: "Hm...I never knew I was a good voice actor…"

Aizen: "That was you, Tia?"

Barragan: "So many youngsters brag! I do not care if you're "the sexy Sexta" or "the only Gillian Espada" or the "Primera" *glares at Starrk* or the "Happiest Man in Hueco Mundo" or the "Almighty 'AWESOME' King-Self Proclaimed God of Hueco Mundo"!"

Starrk: "…You're just jealous…"

Ichigo: "HA-HA! I'm better than all of you!"

Rukia: "Oh, please! You had trouble fighting GRIMMJOW in bankai!"

Lilinette: "Says the MIDGET!"

Ilforte: "Speak for yourself."

Wonderwiece: "Wahhhhh…"

…Dis entry is gettin' nowhere…

_Entry 543_

"!"

"What's so funny, Rofly?"

"I-I…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Did ya hear a joke?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO! HAHAHA!"

"What's so funny than?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAA! NOTHING!"

"An' ev'rythin' 'pparently…"

_Entry 544_

"Rofly-san, you look like a boy with incredible hair!"

"Thanks-AHAHAHAHAHHA Lili-hahah! –nette-kun! Hee hee hee!"

*blushes* "Ahaha…"

"Lili-nette, you better not have a crush on him that just makes me look gay."

"But I'm your girly side."

"And?"

"So?"

"I'm going to sleep."

"Whatever, I HAVE MY OWN MIND!"

"But you only have one eye."

"You're pretty lazy for the Primera, even _I _could wake you up! ULQUIORRA and HARRIBEL have trouble waking you up! I would be a MUCH better Primera!"

*flick ta her face*

"Ouchy!"

"Sure."

_Entry 545_

"I have BLUE hair! Try telling me that ain't unique, Szayel Aporro!"

"I GUESS it is… Mai has blue hair. I have PINK hair AND I can look bad*ss with it!"

"I'm straight."

"So am I."

"Shocker."

"That's mean, bad _kitty _won't make much friends."

"I AM NOT A FREAKIN' CAT!"

"Here~ kitty, kitty, kitty!"

"STOP WAVING AROUND THAT YARN DAMMIT!"

"I laced it with catnip~!"

"I AM NOT A FREAKIN' CAT!"

"I know you want it~!"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"What's stopping ya?"

"MAI."

"Your what?"

"DAMMIT MAI CIFER!"

"Oh! Wonderful, she trained you! You're a whipped kitty!"

"SHUT UP DAMMIT! _KISHIERE, __**PANTERA!**_"

"WAIT! Szayel Aporro-san, YOU'RE AWAKE! Use the remote to get us out of here!"

"Oh, good idea, put the tail away so I can save the day!"

"Grrrr…"

"Uh-oh…"

"What?"

"Neliel and Wonderwiece drooled all over the remote."

"And?"

"I hate touching drool."

"YOU WEAR GLOVES!"

"…Look now…"

"DON'T EAT THE FREAKIN' REMOTE DAMMIT!"

*drags Mai over to Nel*

"Put that FREAKIN' REMOTE DOWN!"

"But Nel don't wanna!"

"Put it down or I'm gonna blow off your freakin' head, ***hole!"

"GIANT KITTY! IT BEING MEAN TO NEL!"

"DON'T CALL ME A CAT!"

"B-b-but Nel is callin' ya a kitty, not a cat…"

"SHUT UP!"

"Yer a cat! Den yer a kitty cat!"

"ARG! EFF THIS! *gets outta Ressureccion*cuts his hand with Pantera* GRAN REY CERO!"

_(AN: I read that in order for an Espada to fire a Gran Rey Cero, they have to mix their blood with their original cero. So…ya…Grimmjow's not a cutter XD) _

"GRIM-JOW YA AIN'T SUPPOSED TA DO DAT IN LAS NOCHES!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *gulp*

"Oh, nice baby sitting skils, Grimmjow, YOU JUST MADE THE KID _SWALLOW_ IT!"

"Haha, Dat's what she said, Mai-chan!"

_Entry 546_

"Wow."

"This…is amazing…"

"Really, a Gran Rey Cero and it's STILL in good condition."

"Where did you get this very big and suspicious and slightly moving bag, Gin?"

"Some place called da Dollar Store in America."

"I must go there sometimes…"

_Entry 547_

"I know what will tear down this surprisingly ultra strong and very big and suspicious and slightly moving bag from a place called the dollar store!"

"What, Aizen-taicho?"

"MY REIATSU!"

*LE EFFIN' GASP!*

"Eh, dat might be bad… Pet-sama, ya try first!"

"Er…okay…Sōten Kisshun! I reject!"

*an hour later*

"…Dat's not workin'…"

"Hachi! What about you?"

*two hours later*

"This is not working, Gin. I SHALL TRY MY REIATSU!"

"Aizen-taicho…Tell Ran-chan I love 'er and I'll miss 'er."

_Entry 548_

"My reiatsu will surely work!"

"Any last words, Minna-chan?"

"I'm hungry!"

"Ya don't count, Yammy-kun, ya ain't an Espada!"

"*yawn* I'm lazy because no one ever fights me. And I consider Lilinette as my sister, so back off perverts."

"I hate Lilinette because she is a little girl that is supposedly stronger than ME."

"I never really trusted Aizen-sama in the first place."

"I love you, Mai!"

"I am afraid of Yammy because he tried to eat me once."

"I dyed my hair blue once when I was on that really long mission with Ulquiorra in the living world."

"We **are gender-less**."

"I love Grimmjow."

"Awww!"

O.O

*realization hits like a fryin' pan!*

"WHAT?"

"Are you serious?"

"No, of course not! But I loved the looks on your faces! It was the definition of WTF?"

_Entry 549_

*Aizen-taichou release his reiatsu*

"Ne, looks like all da fraccion and Yammy-kun can't take it!"

"Aaroniero can't either…"

"No! Wonderwiece!"

"Tousen-san, don't worry!"

"The bag isn't breaking!"

"Do not worry, Kaname. I am slowly letting out my reiatsu."

"Really? Dang, Szay-kun an' Mai-chan are suffocatin'!"

"So is Grimmjow."

"Kensei! Avenge my death!"

"Why would I?"

"Ahhg! Scientist going down!"

"Dere goes Szay-kun…"

"Mai, how are you holding up?"

"I-I'm f-fine…Aizen-sa-sama…"

"Hm…I just realized I don't know da Espada very well…"

"C-cuz…we hate you, Ichimaru!"

"Dat ain't nice, Grim-jow! Does anyone got a pet?"

"I have a goldfish named Fin."

"I had a cute dog from the living world named Shaggy…and a hollow cow."

*yawn* "Sometimes I form my reiatsu into a wolf that can talk. I named it Rei."

"The Menos Grandes are my pets."

"I-I used…to have *trouble breathin'* a-a bird, but…G-Grimmjow ate it!"

"Rofly-kun is mah pet."

"A-HA-HAHAHHA!"

"Rofly! Yer still okay!"

"AH-HAHA! Yeah…but hehehe, it's hard to hee hee breathe!"

"It seems we will declare Rofly a boy…"

"AAAHHHHHH!"

"Hyori!"

*five seconds later*

"Dere goes da Vizards an' Mai-chan…"

"NO! MAI!"

"Don't think 'bout doin' anythin', Grimmjow. Ulqui-orra would kill ya if ya did anythin' ta Mai-chan."

"Like he would care."

"Starrk! Starrk, are you okay?"

"Lili-nette! Yer still alright, too!"

"Starrk! Don't leave me alone! Even though I could have a crush on Roflmao-kun if you die…"

"I'm just asleep *yawn* idiot…"

"RUKIA!"

"I-I'll be fine, Ichigo!"

"Awww! Someone's gotta CRUSH on ya, Rukia-chan^^"

"SHUT UP!"

"Yeah! Kurosaki-kun doesn't like Kuchiki-san that way!"

"Yer just jealous, pet-sama."

"…"

"Hahaha…dis reiatsu is SUFFOCATING! Hehe, I can't even LAUGH…as much…"

"Ne, let's chat den, Rofly-kun!"

"Alrighyo, Gin-sama! Wanna join in, Lilinette-chan?"

*blushes* "Ahaha, sure^^"

Starrk: *glares*

"We all got weird eye colors…"

"Ahaha, yeah, Lilinette-chan has pink eyes and Gin-sama doesn't have eyes!"

"I got eyes!"

"What color are dey?"

"Blue."

"Dat's not weird. Humans have dat color!"

*opens eyes*

"GAHA! Wow, your eyes DO look weird!"

*closes eyes* "Ya…WOAH! Rofly-kun, yer eyes are FREAKY!"

"What color are they?"

"WHITE!"

"Huh…?"

"With a small tint of green!"

"Woah…"

"AAAAHHHHARG!" 

"What is it, Tousen-san?"

"FREAKIN' STUPID FLY!" _AN: DIE DIE DIE YOU STUID BUZZING IMBECILE!_

"…"

"Grimmjow-san…?"

"What, Rofly?"

"What'cha doin'?"

"Nottin'."

"…Dat don't look like nottin'…"

"Kid, you have an accent like Ichimaru."

"Oh…haha… still, why are ya huggin' Mai-san?"

"Er…"

"*cough*pervert*coughcough*"

"HEY! It's not every day you get to hug someone you love!"

"Ya LOVE her?"

"Well, er…you know what I mean!"

"No, I don't exactly. Enlighten me!"

"Er…love is when someone…really, really likes someone else…"

"Do items count? Cuz I LOVE my plush voo-doo dolls!"

"Uh…no? Whatever, love is an emotion that humans have."

"What's the difference? We look like humans, there isn't TOO MUCH of a difference between us!"

"…Never mind. In life, there's love. We're DEAD last few times I checked! We're Arrancar, we don't love. We kill stuff."

"That sounds like it could be your motto."

"Yeah…"

"ESPADA don't LOVE. They KILL _STUFF_."

_Entry 550_

"Aha-GAHH!"

"Roflmao-kun!"

"I-I'll be f-fine, Lili-nette-k-kun! Yer a great friend, even though I don't know ya….v-very…well!"

"No! You can't die Roflmao-kun!"

"D-don't worry…I-I won't…I'm too funny in this fic to die…"

"What…?" 

"B-before I pass out… Happy Birthday ta KurosuchiMayurilsMine12 ta'day! H-hope ya have a great day while we die in da bag!"

"Eh….?" 

"Oh and to our anonymousreviewer, Abi Gopal… on da 8th… Happy B-day…"

"…"

"Oh, and ta Sugerangels on da 15th…"

"Rofly-kun, ya should stop now. I'll sing da song!"

"S-sure, Gin-sama…"

"Happy birthday, Kurotsuchi! Happy birthday ta ya! Thank ya so much fer reviewin'! And that's it…so lalalalalala!"

"Theme of Yankee Doodle AGAIN?"

"I'm not a very creative man…"

_END CHAPTER!  
_

_Also, NO MORE BIRTHDAY REQUESTS __**UNLESS **__YOU HAVE AN ACCOUNT ON FANFICTION DOT NET AND SIGNED IN. Sorry, but anonymous reviewers seem to change names a lot and seem like they review once so no more anonymous birthday requests, sorry^^_

Espada Romance Time~

*Notes from me, Ichimary Gin'll be in asterisks*

"R-Rofly-kun…? A-are you alright…?"

"Don't cry, Lili-nette-kun… I-I'm fine^^"

"Y-you sure…?"

(Nods) "Y-yeah… Don't cry, Lili-nette-kun…"

(Hugs) "R-Rofly-k-kun…"

*Awww, young love!*

*So much love is in the air, Gin… It's almost sickening…*

*Love's a good thing, Aizen-taicho… We're Shinigami, we go love.*

*True, true…*

"Haha, you're not gonna die on me, right, Rofly-kun?"

"No, I won't Lilinette-kun, I promise…"

*They're about to kiss!*

*Ta think, ya acted like love was a BAD thing seconds ago, Aizen-taicho!*

*Shush! Real romance is better than watching Days of Our Lives~! _(AN: I don't own)_ So close to kissing! Centimeters away!*

*Yer way too excited…*

"…Lili-"

"Stay away from Lilinette, Rolfmao."

"Er…hehe…sorry, Primera-sama…"

"BAKA STARRK!"

_End ERT_

_Haha, always have to ruin/end the moment XD_

_DOES ANYONE HAVE A FACEBOOK? If ya do, wanna be friends? _

_I'll figure somethin' out, anyways is anyone else dying to find out what happens in the latest chapter? DECIDE 13 Chapter 411_


	57. Stuck in da Bag 5

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Aizen-taicho's still lettin' out his reiatsu…

Entry 551-560: Stuck in da Bag 5

_Entry 551_

"OMFG! Omigoshomigoshomigoshomigosh!"

"What is it, Aizen-taicho?"

"My newest soap opera is AMAZING!"

"What's it called?"

"As The Curtain Falls!" _AN: Yes, I just made that up. LOL_

"Er, coolio?"

"AND Jay just proposed to Rose! AHHH!" *fangirlish squeal*

"Er…yer actin' way OOC, Aizen-taicho…" _AN: Jay and Rose are my OCs…they aren't really that old, we'll just pretend XD_

"OMFGOMFG! SAY YES! SAY YES!"

"…"

"WHAT THE F*** DO YOU MEAN TO BE CONTINUED?"

"…Ta be continued means ta be continued…"

_Entry 552_

"What's dis…?"

"ICHIMARU GIN PUT THAT DOWN!"

"Why…?"

"PUT IT DOWN DAMMIT! IT BELONGS TO SZAYEL!"

"GAHH!"

*chucks the thing "randomly" at Grimmjow*

"Hey! Wait, what's…?"

"Ugh…hm…? Grimmjow?"

"Mai! You alright?"

"GRIMMJOW! WATCH OUT!"

"Wha-?"

*POOF/KA-BOOM!*

_Entry 553_

*coughcoughcough* "Grimmjow? Mai-chan?"

"Sexta! Decima!"

"I'm fine! *coughcough* Grimmjow, are you alright?"

"Looks like it knocked him out…"

What was da thing called?"

"I-I-"

"Looks like she passed out again… I can't read dis…it's in Latin…"

"STARRK! STARRK, BAKA! PUT ME DOWN! ROFLY-KUN IS DYING!"

"No."

"CHIKUSO, PUT ME DOWN!"

"…What's that all about?"

"I dunno, Aizen-taicho, I dunno."

"Hm…maybe it's an emotional brother sister moment."

_Entry 554_

Eh…Aizen-taicho is watchin' As Da Curtain Falls…

So I'm BORED.

Hm…

I'm gonna draw da Espada!

_Entry 555_

IT'S ENTRY FIVE-FIVE-FIVE!

_Entry 556_

*cries mentally*

Rose is dying! How the EFF is Jay going to save her?

Since Gin is…drawing on the page next to this one, I will go play with something since I'm bored.

Yes, even evil master minds like me get BORED.

_Entry 557_

"Aizen-sama!"

"Yes, Harribel?"

"What are you d-doing?"

"Are you alright? I'm just asking because you are the weakest person left."

"…I'm fine…"

"Anyways, I am looking through Szayel Aporro's stuff."

"What's that?"

"I-I…"

"Tia…?"

"AHHH! A-Aizen-s-sama…"

"What is it?"

"D-don't…press…that button…"

"My, my…Tia passed out… Now where was I? Ah yes, pressing the button."

_Entry 558_

"YA! WHAT DA HECK?"

"HOW DO YOU TURN THIS OFF?"

"Eye and tongue prints needed."

"WHAT THE EFF? IT'S RAINING! AND WHO KNEW MY OCTAVA WOULD REQUIRE A FINGER _AND TONGUE _PRINT FOR THIS MACHINE!"

"Who the f*** requires a TONGUE print?"

"Language, Kaname."

"I'm dancin' in da rain! I'm dancin' in da rain! What a GLORIOUS FEELIN'! Happy~ again~!"

_AN: I think that's the song…XD it was part of my fun music class when I was in Kindergarten_

"Glorious? A KING MUST FEEL GLORIOUS! Teach me the song and dance, Gin!"

_Entry 559_

"Ngh…"

"Tia!"

"You pressed the button, didn't you?"

"…No…"

"GAH! WHY THE F*** ARE OUR UNIFORMS WHITE?"

"White…I don't know…I like the color…"

"IT ISN'T EVEN A REAL REAL COLOR! AND WITH ALL THIS RAIN OUR UNIFORMS ARE FREAKIN' _SEE THROUGH_ YOU-"

"Calm down, Tia. You're wasting your energy."

"…"

"By the way, we got Nnoitra back."

"Hey, Hali!"

"…"

"And giving Wonderwiece away."

"NELIEL!"

"Hm…she's still awake."

"Nnoitra."

"Haha, ya wish she had white clothes, don't ya, Nnoit?"

"PERVERT! LET'S KILL NNOITRA, NELIEL!"

"_Utae…__**Gamuza**_!"

"_Ute, __**Tiburon**_!"

"SO MUCH REIATSU _AND_ AIZEN'S!"

"The bag's not breakin'…Yer gonna kill ev'ryone in here before ya kill da bag…"

"Damn right I will."

"But Ulquiorra'll be like da only Espada left…"

"What's wrong with that?"

_Entry 560_

"Strawberry-san! Do ya want ya write in mah Diary?"

"S-sure…?"

Er…hi…I'm Kurosaki Ichigo and AIZEN SUCKS!

**Aizen-taicho writes in here too…**

Oh…*erases the "and AIZEN SUCKS!" part.

**Ya wrote it in pen.**

CRAP IN A BUCKET!

**Well…Ima continue drawin' now…**

Alright…

Well, hello Ichimaru Gin's Diary.

***coughcough* Ya should call him Diary-kun! *coughcough***

…Er…alright, _Diary-kun_…

I guess I'll write about…Zangetsu…

My inner world is full of skyscrapers that are sideways…

*flashback*

"!" 

"!"

"ICHIGO! HOLLOW BOY! YOU IDIOTS!"

"AHHHH!"

"…I TOLD you! You can fall while standing side ways!"

"IT FEELS LIKE WE'RE FALLING!"

"AHahAHahAH!"

"You must THINK properly!"

"It's SUMMER! WHO THINKS?"

"You do. Don't deny it! I see and hear every thought! I am part of you."

"You make that sound…wrong…"

"Get yer head outta da gutter, King!"

"Do you even KNOW what a gutter is?"

"I always assumed it was a bucket sitting on top of a cow."

"Where the heck did you get that?"

*shrugs* "Hey, King?"

"What?"

"WE'RE STILL FALLING!"

"…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

*end flashback*

…

Than it started raining…

So Zangetsu made us build him a personally designed umbrella…

Than he kicked us out…

Well, he kicked me out, but kicked Hichigo into a building to get soaking wet.

_END CHAPTER!_

_Hm…how many more Stuck in the Bags will there be?_

_I don't know_

_Anyways…Espada Romance Times, I started coming up titles for them._

_So far, there's __Top of Bottom?__, __Fish…are Good__, and __Interrupted Promise__._

Espada Romance Time: Eat Before "Love"

*Again, mah notes are in asterisks*

*Kay, so ta'day, I remembered dat Ulqui-orra had a moment with pet-sama!*

*ICHIMARU AWESOME MAN GIN'S FLASHBACK!*

"Onna… I have brought your meal."

"Oh, hi! Um… Ulquiorra-san?"

(Turns around)

"Um… Will you stay with me while I eat…?"

"Why?"

"O-oh, I just get lonely sometimes! You can eat too if you want…"

"No."

"Oh…"

"I'll be leaving now."

"No! Wait! Er, I mean, please stay…"

"…Fine…"

"…Ulquiorra-san…why don't you believe in the heart…?"

"Because it's trash."

"Aizen has a heart?"

"Ha-ha, very funny, onna."

"…did you just try and use sarcasm?"

"…Yes…"

"Getting rid of the monotone might be a good idea…"

"…"

"Um…well, the heart if in your chest."

"…go on…"

"It's…KINDA where your number 4 tattoo is…"

"…" (Suddenly unzips jacket and stares at the 4 there)

"EH?" (Blushes)

*Ne, Ulquiorra isn't shy, is he?*

"You can feel your heart beating sometimes…"

"…" 

"H-here…" (Takes his hand an' places it over her heart)

*Gin, were you spying again?*

*Ya…*

*Oooooh! More romance!*

*…*

"Your… "heart"… is beating quite fast…"

"E-eh…" (Blushes)

"Onna."

"U-Ulquiorra-san…"

*OMG! THEY'RE GETTING _CLOSER_! WHO KNEW MY CUARTO IS SO ROMANTIC!*

"Ulquiorra-san…I-I'm not sure if…"

"Onna."

"Y-yes?" (Blushes)

"Your food is getting cold."

"…"

_END ERT!_

_CAN SOMEONE THINK OF A TITLE FOR THIS? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO CALL IT…_

_Please review. _

_I'm sure you will._

_:D Thank you~_

_~G. Ai Inoue_

_PS I don't own Bleach... if I did, Mai Cifer would be a character… and I wouldn't be writing here..._

_So…please review^^_


	58. Stuck in da Bag 6

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Draw, draw, an' draw! COLOR, COLOR, AN' MORE COLOR! I FREAKIN' LOVE **COLORING!**

_(AN: Got that from Pieces of Flair on Facebook)(Also, I'm writing this (mostly) on a car/van thing. I was writing on the care until…hm…the line "I broke your leg". So… I randomly wrote it with less thought than usual^^)_

Entry 561-570: Stuck in da Bag 6

_Entry 561_

"THIS REIATSU IS SUFFOCATING!" 

"Be quiet, Nnoitra…"

"WHO'S GONNA MAKE ME, NEIEL!"

"Aizen-sama."

"I'M NOT AFRAID OF HIM! MWAHAHAHAHA!" _(AN: You get it, the maniac laugh)_

"…Nnoitra, please shut up."

"Yes, Aizen-sama."

_Entry 562_

"Ngh…"

"Tia-chan! Are ya okay?"

"Sure…"

"…"

"IT'S _RAINING_!"

"…Didn't ya know dat last chapter…?"

"…Oh yeah…"

"..."

"_Ute (Destroy), __**Tiburon**_."

"TIA-CHAN WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?"

"I'm bored."

"…Amazin' how dis bag is STILL not breakin' with yer reiatsu an' Aizen-taicho's…"

"That gives me an idea…but after I have some fun of course…"

_Entry 563 (AN: Remember, spoilers are always a possibility~!)_

"Cascada."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"HOLY SHI-"

"GRIMMJOW! YER AWAKE!"

"GAH!"

"What are ya DOIN', Tia-chan?"

"I am going to make shapes with water."

"WHY?"

"Like I said, I'm bored."

"…"

_Entry 564_

"Hireviendo (AN: That spelled right?)"

"Harribel-san, what are you doing?"

"Aporro, don't even think about touching that. I'm going to make an ice sculpture."

*poke*

*crumples*

"LA GOTA!"

"OUCHIE! YOU BROKE MY HANDS! WHY?"

"You broke my ice sculpture."

"MEANIE!"

"Oh, and because I am a higher rank and can boss you around plus do anything I want to you! HA!"

_Entry 565_

"I'll tell everyone my idea now!"

"…"

"We use a GARGANTA to get out!"

"…I knew that. Very smart, Tia. I just acted like I was stupid. I am a GOD! Of COURSE I knew how to get out!"

"Sure, Aizen-taicho."

"Shut up and I won't throw Grin in Grimmjow's room."

"Hai, Aizen-taicho…"

_Entry 566_

Da Garganta's ain't workin'!

Oh ya…I broke 'em…

_**I will stop releasing my reiatsu now…**_

*five seconds later*

"WE'RE ALL AWAKE!"

"SOMEONE OPEN THE BAG! RUKIA'S DROWNING IN THIS WATER!"

"I'M NOT THAT SHORT YOU IDIOT!"

"But you still admit to being short."

"Ne, Kurosaki, neva knew ya got beat up by a midget!"

"ARG!"

"Owiee! Dat hurt, Rukia-chan!"

_Entry 567_

"AH! Kurosaki-kun, don't look at me!" 

"Why, Inoue?"

"C-cuz the uniforms are white and it's soaking wet in here!"

*nosebleed*

"BAKA! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, NNOITRA! MY white clothes in release are WATER PROOF! LA GOTA!"

"GAHHHHHHH!"

*over with Mai-chan an' Grimmjow, an' Hyori, an' Shnji*

"DICKHEAD, SHNJI! YOU PERVERT, MY SHIRT'S WHITE!"

"Come on, I have a spare jacket, you can use it."

"NO! I PLAN ON BEING A VIRGIN BRIDE YA KNOW!"

"I WASN'T THINKING THAT, YOU IDIOT, HYORI!"

"Grimmjow?"

"Huh?"

"Are you…purring?"

"NO…"

"Okay…"

"Hehehe…" *nosebleed*

"BAKA NEKO! PERVERT!" *shoves Grim-jow's head under water*

*after a second*

"I HATE WATER!"

"YOU WANT TO SEE SOAKING WET WHITE CLOTHES? GO DROWN YOURSELF!"

"You would go down with me you know…"

"But I can swim at least a bit unlike you."

"I'm stronger than you so I'm taking you down!"

"You wouldn't do that to me~"

"I broke your leg so I'm pretty sure I can drown you."

"Eh…Grimmjow…?"

"Hm…?"

*O…M…G… DIS AIN'T ROMANCE TIME! Are dey 'bout ta…kiss? MAI-CHAN was da one dat started it! IT'S AN EFFIN' MIRACLE!*

"I can't believe this…!"

(Blush-ish-y) "I can't either…"

*OMFG! My Sexta and Decima? SHE'S TOO YOUNG!*

*Er…Aizen-taicho? Please stop actin' OOC… It's freakin' even ME out…*

*Good point; you're the only one who understands my actions… So I will stop…for now*

*Thank ya*

*AYIEEE! Grimmjow is acting so romantic!*

"Mai…"

"G-Grimmjow?"

*AAAAH! SO ROMAN-*

*SHUT IT, Aizen-taicho!*

~Kiss~

"…" (Blush-ish-y from Grimmjow)

"I…wha…y-you…" (Barely blush-ish-y from Mai-chan)

"BAKA!" *whack ta da face!* "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"WHAT? You started it!"

"WHAT? NO! I wasn't leaning in because of that! And stop staring at me you PERVERT!"

"I WASN'T TRY- …never mind…"

*WHACK TA DA FACE!*

"Ugh, you seem…smaller…"

"What?"

"Here, stand up."

"Wha-? Why? Hey!"

"Wow… you're shorter than ME."

"…"

"That thing that Ichimaru-sama threw at you must have been a chibi-fier!"

"I CAN'T BE A CHIBI AGAIN!"

"If you shut up, I'll give you…yarn."

"…Fine…"

_Entry 568_

"A television series."

*nods ta Tia*

"One word."

*nods ta me!*

"Detergent?"

"I don't think dat's it, Grim-jow."

"Doing the laundry?" *yawn*

"Bleaching your jeans?"

*nods at Aporro*

"Jeans!"

*shakes head*

"Ohh! Bleaching our hakama!"

*shakes head slightly at Tia*

"Bleaching?"

*nods slightly at Mai-chan*

"THE BEACH!"

"We give up, Aizen-taicho. Dis is hard…"

"BLEACH!"

"Ohhh…"

"This is stupid! What the heck is Charades anyways! And who would know about a lame show called Bleach?"

_Entry 569_

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Rofly-kun!"

"Haha, Lilinette-kun!"

"I'm so happy you're okay!"

"Haha, me too! Are you-hahahahaha-alright?"

*blush* "Yeah^^"

"Lilinette-kun, haha, would you mind if-hahaha-I come visit sometimes?"

"No, I wouldn't mind at-"

"Yes, she would mind very much, let's go, Lilinette."

"BAKA STARRK!"

_Entry 570_

*sigh*

Don't ya hate it when people stereotype?

Ev'ryone thinks I'm a crazy therapist minus "the".

An' dat I'm a fox faced freak dat stalks people.

I don't stalk, I people watch.

Which SURE, it's KINDA LIKE stalkin', but dat's not da point…

Da only stalker 'round here is Nnoitra!

And Grimmjow on occasions…

Ulquiorra's Walks 'Round Las Noches might seem stalker-ish too…

_End chapter…_

_IF YOU HAVE A FACEBOOK, friend me or my second account^^_

_Second account would have more 'previews of next chapters' and whatnot._

_So…_

Espada Romance Time~! _Silent Words_

*Ne, da Espada are getting' borin' so I'm gonna go see what da Shinigami Daiko and co are doin'!*

*But Kurosaki Ichigo is not an Espada*

*Yer right… LET'S GO BOTHER NNOITRA AND NELIEL!*

"Neliel, yer an idiot! Why do you want to follow me around anyways?"

"I told you…because…"

*I love you!*

*Aizen-taicho, please don't play as da Espada…it's…creepy…*

*Fine…*

"You are weaker than me."

"ARRG! NELIEL I FREAKIN' HATE YOU!"

"Nnoitra…I might as well tell you now…"

*She's making a confession!*

*Really…Aizen-taicho…*

"You shouldn't say you hate someone all the time. I…know you hate me, but it hurts people's feelings when you say you hate them."

"…Ya sound like a preschool teacher, Neliel!"

"…"

"Hahaha."

"…"

"Yer givin' me the silent treatment, ain't ya, Neliel."

"…"

"It ain't gonna work!"

"…"

"Neliel!"

"… 

"Is your favorite color green?"

"…"

"…Not that I care…"

"…"

"Neliel."

"…"

"I hate you."

"…"

"I know, yer used to it."

"…"

"…Neliel, yer FAT!"

"…"

"Yeah, I know that's a lie."

"…"

"Neliel…"

"…"

"What's love?"

"…"

"Yeah, I'm stupid."

"…"

"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM THE MAN!"

"…"

"Neliel!"

"…"

"Please talk…"

"…?"

"I know, I know, I hate you."

"…"

"What? THAT'S NOT A LIE!"

*Dis is pretty long…*

"…"

"What do I have to do for ya to talk again, Neliel?"

"…"

"I…"

"…"

"….love…."

"…O.O…"

"…TESLA!"

"Ha….hee hee…"

"Neliel…you alright?" (Blush)

"Ahahahahahahah! You're hilarious, Nnoitra!"

(Blush-ish-y) "Hehe…yeah…"

"…"

"Please don't give me the silent treatment again!"

"…"

"…" 

"I won't."

"Good."

"…Why do we hate each other?"

"…Yer stronger than me!"

"You finally admit it…"

"…"

"If we can be friends, we can pretend that you're stronger whenever we go to the Living World."

"…Fine…"

"…Friends?"

"…"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"…Sure…"

":)"

"…"

"…I don't hate you either, Nnoitra…"

"…"

"…"

"Agreed?"

"Agreed."

*Ta what?*

*They're so romantic! Communicating silently to become friends and stick with each other forever!*

*…Really?*

*Well…not the forever part…but mostly accurate!*

"…"

"…"

"…!"

"…?"

*Now what are dey sayin'?*

*Spain is going to win the World Cup says Neliel. Nnoitra thinks Netherlands are. Neliel says "ASK THE OCTOPUS!" Then Nnoitra says "You actually believe that?"*

*I think Spain's gonna win!*

*Hm…*

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…?"

"…"

*Nnoitra says they're gonna bet. Neliel says she'll announce to the world she is weaker and will paint herself orange for 100 Entries in your journal while Nnoitra says he will wear a dress of Neliel's choice. He will also dye his hair green. Neliel asks deal? And he responds yup*

*…Wowzies…*

"Nnoit! Tu-san! Wanna go watch da World Cup with me?"

"SURE!"


	59. Stuck in da Bag 7

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

I'm gettin' bored in dis bag…

Entry 571-580: Stuck in da Bag 7

_Entry 571_

Yammy is on da verge o cryin' from bein' in da bag so long…

Oh, an' Tousen-san is missin' Wonderwiece…

He just noticed dat…

"WHERE IS MY SON?"

"THERE IS NO WAY THAT LITTLE RETARD IS OUR COUSIN!"

"SILENCE YOU UNJUST SPOON!"

"You don't even know what I look like moron!"

"Yer just mad cuz ya lost da bet!"

"SHUT UP!"

"I got the green hair dye and dress, Nnoitra!"

"…No…MY MANLINESS IS BEING TAKEN AWAY FROM ME!

_Entry 572_

"**The octopus **was right! The octopus **was right!"**

"Yer happy, Aaroniero…"

"**The octopus was right, Spain won."**

"We are so proud of our cousin Alfred!"

"**His name isn't Alfred, you moron."**

"SPAIN STILL WON!"

"**And he's more like our great-great-great grandchild!"**

_Entry 573_

I'm colorin'!

**What are you coloring, Gin?**

Da picture dat I drew^^

…**Why does Nnoitra's hood say **_**The Spoon **_**and why does Aaroniero's mask say **_**Freak**_**?**

Look at what Szay-kun is doin'…

"**Szayel Aporro Grantz was never here!" Why is he holding a marker?**

Ya don't get it?

…***thinks*…*Light bulb!* Ohhhh!**

_Entry 574_

Who's fatter?

Oomaeda from da 2nd Division, or Yammy Riyalago-kun?

Hm…Riyalago-kun actually has muscle…

Fatty-san is fatter!

**I'M NOT FAT!  
**

Suuuure, Riyalago-kun…

**Thanks for agreeing with me! People think I'm stupid!**

Ya eva heard o sarcasm?

**No…isn't it like…a type of spaghetti?**

…

_Entry 575_

"You shall taste defeat, Jiruga! Which tastes like RedBull! Which SUCKS!"

"Hey! RedBull gives you wings! I drink it sometimes!"

"And you're the…_Tercera _Espada!"

"I drink it a lot, too!"

"And you're Aizen's second in command!"

"Give me dat RedBull! I'm gonna beat Tia Harribel!"

"I'm right here, Jiruga…"

"But does RedBull give you wings?"

"It gives some Arrancar wings, Grimmjow~!"

"What are you talking about, Mai?"

*takes a sip o RedBull*

"_Chaimu (chime),_ _**Gin-KazeAuru**_!" (Silver-Wind Owl)

"GAH! I'M STILL HANDCUFFED TO YA, MAI!"

"See? RedBull gives ME wings!"

"That isn't fair! You're a bird type thing in your Resurrecion anyways!"

"AHHH! I HAVE A FEAR OF HEIGHTS! PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOWN!"

"I thought cats could land on their feet so they're not afraid of heights…"

"I'M A PANTHER!"

"A blue haired kitty that's afraid of heights…"

"Da almight Sexta Espada!"

"SHUT UP, ICHIMARU!"

_Entry 576_

I'm gonna prank call someone…

*picks a random person in contacts*

"Hello, Unohana Retsu-taicho here, how may I help you?"

"My, my, Retsu-san, it seems you have forgotten me."

"Aizen?"

"Yes."

"What do you want?"

"I have kidnapped Shinigami Daiko, Kurosaki Ichigo, Kuchiki Rukia, and Kuchiki-taicho."

"What have you done to them?"

"Tie them up in a bag."

"You inhumane man!"

"We all aren't human anyways. We were, but we aren't."

"…"

"If you don't want anything to happen to them, come to Las Noches, Hueco Mundo, _alone_ and do me a favor."

"W-what's the 'favor', Aizen?"

"Fix our fridge."

"What…?"

"Yammy destroyed it when he was hungry. Just go to the 3rd Tower on the 8th floor and you'll see it after a moment."

"…Why…me?"

"Because I have an interest in you, Retsu."

"Don't call me that!"

"You know you enjoy it."

"Why are you doing this, Aizen?"

Sounds like she's bout ta have a nervous breakdown…

"CUZ YA JUST GOT PRANK CALLED!"

"Wha-? Aizen?"

"Nope! Guess again~"

"Ichimaru?"

"Yup!"

"…That was not funny…"

"Haha, ya it was! Ya thought Aizen-taicho liked ya!"

"…"

"Sounded like ya were 'bout ta return da feelin's too!"

"SHUT UP!"

…Den she hung up on me…

Ah well, not much of a prank call, but still funny!

_Entry 577_

*ring ring ring*

"Ichimaru Gin 'ere, whaddya want?"

"Okay, I'm on the 8th floor, and I don't see the kitchen! Where is it?"

"…Ya actually took me seriously?"

"…Crap, that was a prank call wasn't it?"

"Ya…and da directions I gave ya were ta da Halls o Fraccion!"

*in da background* "SHINIGAMI! ATTACK!"

"CURSE YOU, ICHIMARU!"

"Dat's what ya get fer listenin' ta me."

_Entry 578_

"I'm tired, Lili-nette! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"NO! YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH ROFLY-KUN SO THIS IS WHAT YOU GET!"

"OW! LET GO OF MY HAIR! IT HURTS! OOF! DON'T PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH DAMMTI!"

"YOU'RE THE PRIMERA AND A LITTLE GIRL CAN BEAT YOU UP!"

"LET ME SLEEP!"

"LET ME HANG OUT WITH ROFLY-KUN!"

"OKAY OKAY! FINE FINE! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Sign this."

"Huh?"

"SIGN IT!"

"OUCH! OKAY OKAY!" *signs it*

"Thank you~!"

…I just made a serious mistake, didn't I?

Probably, Coyote-kun, ya just let Lilinette-kun do what she wants with Rofly-kun.

O.O

_Entry 579_

"Your hair looks…weird when it's green…"

"Shut it, Neliel."

"Ah, ah, ah, we're _friends_ now, Nnoitra Jiruga! And I had the Quincy help me make a dress for you!"

"…I got a feeling that ain't good…"

"Put it on."

"DON'T LOOK YOU IDIOT!"

"Usually, men don't mind, Nnoitra." *turns around*

"HOLY-"

"This is rated T, Nnoitra."

"So?"

"…Never mind…"

"THIS MAKES ME LOOK FAT!"

"Nah, not really. Oh, don't forget these."

"YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HIGH HEELS!"

"They aren't high heels, they're high heel BOOTS."

"…"

"I'm sure Tesla will think you look nice."

"Shut up…"

_Entry 580_

"WHEN I HILLSHIRE YA SAY FARM!"

"…WHAT are you talking about, Gin?"

"HILLSHIRE!"

"FARM!"

"…?"

"HILLSHIRE! GO MEAT!"

"It's a commercial, Harribel-san!"

"Sounds like a crazy one… What IS Hillshire Farm anyways, Szayel Aporro?"

"I assume it is a farm with hills and sun shine."

"Probably one of those childish ones with rainbows and unicorns…"

"Speaking of unicorns, Charlie the unicorn is more like Ulquiorra, the other two are more like Gin…"

"Ya, whoever wrote dat in an earlier chapter made a mistake…"

"What is with Charlie anyways? Aren't unicorns supposed to be happy?"

"Ha, I used to want one back when I was still an Arrancar child."

"Ya were adorable, Tia-chan!"

"Didn't you bite Ulquiorra once because you thought he was a unicorn with that horn thing of his?"

"Ya…after bitin' him, ya told him somethin' long da lines o 'Unicorns are happy ponies! Not sad ones!'"

"I do think that I remember Ulquiorra crying a lot, screaming "SHE'S A SHARK! GEIZHALS!"

"Haha, good times!"

"I never did anything like that!"

"Yer lyin', Tia-chan~!"

"Denial~!"

_END CHAPTER_

_Hm~ I got an idea! Ya know how da Stuck in da Bag is like a mini-series type thing?_

_I have an idea for the next one~ hehehe_

_Ah well, doesn't really matter anyways._

Espada Romance Time~ Kitties and Foxes

*Aizen here! Let me tell you about Gin when he was a child.*

*I was a kawaii lil kid, Aizen-taicho!*

*Yes, you were! Now, you may not be an Espada, but-*

*WAIT! Aizen-taicho! A romance time fer ME?*

*Yes, so get out of the notes*

*Fine…WAIT! It ain't with Ran-chan is it?*

*Noooo! It's with Izuru!*

*I ain't Szayel Gay.*

*I'M NOT GAY!*

*Get outta Diary-kun, Szay-kun.*

*You too, Gin*

*Fine…*

Anyways, like I was saying, back when Gin first became the third seat, he had a friend in the academy. Her name was Matsumoto Rangiku.

*Dis IS with Ran-chan! AIZEN-TAICHO!*

*Shush, Gin*

LIKE I WAS SAYING, Gin would often visit Matsumoto. Once, I came with him to teach in the academy.

*KING OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING PLUS MORE, SOSUKE AIZEN'S HOLY FLASHBACK*

"Aizen-taicho, I'm gonna be with Ran-chan!"

"Okay, Gin. Just don't forget to come back before I leave."

Since I already 'did my paperwork' I decided to follow Gin. He always liked having his play dates with Matsumoto, so I decided to see what they did.

*Aizen-taicho! I'm too old fer ya ta call 'em play dates!*

*Just listen, Gin.*

*…Can't believe ya were followin' me!*

…AS. I. WAS. SAYING…

"Gin! You came!"

"Of course, I came, Ran-chan! Ya know I wouldn't miss yer birthday!"

"Thanks, Gin… Happy late birthday to you!"

"Happy birthday ta YOU, Ran-chan! I got ya a present!"

"Are you gonna dress up like a banana* like you did last year?"

"Of course not, Ran-chan… I'll be right back!"

"M'kay! I got you a present too, Gin!"

While I was hiding in the closet, I found a pink kitty costume that looked about Gin's size… A few seconds later (right before Gin opened the door) Realization hit me like…realization…

"I can't wait ta see Ran-chan's face when she sees this!"

Hm…that was when I realized that Gin didn't fake his accent.

*DIS AIN'T A FAKE ACCENT! _Sure_, sometimes I 'fake' some parts o it, but my accent ta ya is real!*

…So after I hid behind the mop and Gin left, I got out of the closet and this is what I saw.

"Happy birthday, Ran-chan!"

"Aww! Gin, you're adorable in a chibi pink kitty costume!"

"I heard how ya found out yer Zanpaktou's name. It's like _Haineko_ (Ash Cat), ain't it?"

"Mm hm! And happy late birthday to you again, Gin!"

"Holy fox plushies! Yer dressed up just like Grin! My plush!"

"Yup!"

"Ahaha…ya…(Blush) Yer pretty cute lookin' in dat, Ran-chan…"

My so called fatherly instincts kicked in there. I couldn't help, but smile at how cute Gin and Matusmoto were in their pink cat and orange fox costumes!

So I took a quick picture from the camera I pulled out of no where!

*YA TOOK A PICTURE?*

Yes, Gin, I did. Now, I will continue.

(Blush-ish, smiles) "You look good in yours, too, Gin…"

"Haha…we're kawaii as foxes an' kitties!"

"Yeah… Oh, um, where are you going, Gin…?"

"No where."

"Please tell me… You have a bad habit of leaving without telling me where…"

"…Ya really wanna know?"

"Yes."

"Toliet."

"O-oh…"

Haha! That was so funny!

*…I can't believe ya watched us…STALKER!*

Now, now, Gin. It was for your own good.

*HOW? What's Ran-chan gonna do? Bite me? We wouldn't hurt each other at all!*

…Back to the story…this is where some interesting things start to happen!

*Wha…? AIZEN-TAICHO, DON'T EVEN THINK ABO-*

That was when Gin returned.

"Hey, Gin!"

"Hiya, Ran-cha-OOF!"

Haha, you tripped over your tail!

*(Blush o embarrassment) SHUZZUP!*

Ah, so cute! He landed on top of Matsumoto!

*…PLEASE…GO AWAY! DIARY-KUN DON'T LIKE YOU!*

"G-Gin…"

"Er…Sorry, Ran-chan…ehehehe…"

"…"

(Glomp/Hug) "Eh…happy birthday, Ran-chan!"

(Hugs~) "Happy birthday, Gin!"

So cute.

*Outta Diary-kun, Aizen-taicho.*

I wrote this in pen you know.

*ARG!*

_Hehehe, Kitties and Foxes!_

_So cute~_

_Please review~_

_Or read and review any other of my fics^^_

_If you like humor, you may also like~_

_You're Not My 'Daddy' (Fathers' Day fic!)_

_Not So Happy Ending (If you like Chibi Espada!)_


	60. Stuck in da Bag 8

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

*sigh* Now we got two more guests in da bag…

_AN: Thanks to Yami Otaku for letting me use Akame Kenichi!_

Entry 581-590: Stuck in da Bag 8

_Entry 581_

"WOAH!"

"Who do you think you are? Pushing a captain around!"

"Who do you think YOU are? I'm Kenichi Akame! I used to be the captain commander!"

"O-oh…"

"KENICHI!"

"AIZEN-TAICHO! DON'T ATTACK DA…man…"

"WHO IS IT? DID AIZEN-SAMA KILL HIM? I CAN'T SEE!"

"He…glomped da man…"

"YOU NEVER TOLD ME AIZEN WAS SZAYEL GAY!"

"I AM NOT GAY!"

"I would have NEVER worked for the man if I knew this in the first place!"

"Shut up, Grimmjow. Er…Aizen-sama…who's he?"

"This, Mai, is my Bestest Buddy in the whole entire universe!"

"Grimmjow…"

"What?"

"You might actually be right…"

_Entry 582_

"Who're you?"

"Kenichi Akame."

"Never heard o ya."

"THAT IS RUDE, GIN! He is the most powerful man in existence!"

"Ya told us that YOU were…"

"Hahaha! What are you talking about, Gin? Kids, right Kenichi?"

"Aizen-taicho, I'm Byakuya-kun's age…"

"Haha, don't listen to him! If he said that I betrayed the Soul Society and proclaimed myself King God and that I'm planning to kill the kind, than that's all a lie!"

"…Sure!"

"An' people think dat I'M insane…"

_Entry 583_

"Come, my Espa I mean…DIE YOU HOLLOWS!"

"Er…Aizen-sama?"

"Look, Kenichi! They fear me so much that they call me Aizen-sama! HAHAHA!"

"I'm proud of you, Sosuke!"

"Thank you, Kenichi!"

…Even Tousen-san an' _Ulquiorra_ ain't dis…loyal ta someone…

_Entry 584_

"Gin! Get me some sake!"

"But Aizen-taicho, yer always sayin' how I should stop drinkin' it…"

"Nonsense! A toast to Kenichi and I!"

"A happy couple!"

"No, Gin."

"Sosuke! You shouldn't mix American beer AND sake!"

"But it's sooo good~!"

"…He hadn't drunk in so long he gets drunk afta only half a bottle!"

"So good~!"

"…It's bad for your liver, Sosuke."

"Ya! It's bad fer yer liver, but at least Ran-chan an' me don't get so drunk dat we pass out fer 12 days!"

"Da liveeeer must *gulp* PUNISH!"

"Don't ya mean suffer?"

"I drunk, Gin, I'm not as think as you swear I am!"

"Er…Sosuke…don't you mean "I swear, Gin, I'm not as drunk as you think I am!"?"

"Sorry ta tell ya dis, Ken-Ken-ichi! But yer right and I are wrong!"

"Ignore 'im, Akame-san, he was like dis when Grimmjow an' Nnoitra slipped sake an' beer inta his tea."

"Who's Nnoitra and Grimmjow."

"We are."

"WOAH! A SPOON GIANT! AN' A BLUE GLOOP!"

"…You mixed Gin with Beer and Sake, didn't you?"

"THERE'S A LIQUOR NAMED AFTER ME?"

"Yup!"

"Hm…I'll mix it with sake!"

"Uh-oh…"

"…Hm…yum."

"…"

"What?"

"Aren't you…er…"

"I've been drinkin' fer so long, I gotta 'ave at LEAST 12 bottles o sake till I get lil woozy."

"…Wow."

"Hangovers are a killer afta 20 bottles though…"

"Aren't you drinking anymore?"

"Nah, I force mahself ta stop at 6 bottles."

"O.O"

_Entry 585_

"Sosuke, are you alright?"

"Aizen-taicho, ya shouldn't drink dat much…can't believe I just told ya dat! It's usually da other way 'round!"

"Arrrrlag…"

"Ya sound like Wonderwiece."

"Bah-mada!"

"What did you just say, Sosuke?"

"He said 'Mah bed!', Akame-san."

"Oh…"

"Retsu-taicho, ya take care o Aizen-taicho? His liver must be shriveled up by now."

"God's don't got no LIV-ERS!"

"…Aizen, just…lay down…"

"M'kay, Retsu-chaaa~n!"

"G-Gin…"

"Ya, Retsu-taicho?"

"Let him die, when he's drunk he's…scary."

"HOLY FOX PLUSHIES."

"Er…you! Over there!"

"Yes?"

"What's your name?"

"Espada Tres, Tia Harribel. Why?"

"Hide Aizen in that tent that I brought."

"Um…sure…"

"…Aren't you going to argue why I want to hide you master?"

"No."

"…Why?"

"I've always wanted to shove him into a tent. For some reason I have a feeling he wants to kill me."

"…"

_Entry 586_

"Alright, first-ish official meeting of Freaky Smiles Club is in order!"

"Ne, Jiruga, who's yer dentist?"

"Some Numero named Dr. Frook-Tike."

"Ah, mine's named Dr. Trook-Fike!"

_Entry 587_

"UNTER!"

"Say what?"

"Ahahahahahahaha!"

"Who's that?"

"Nnoit, Shinji, meet Rofly-kun!"

"Ahahahahha! Hiya!"

"She's a cute chick."

"Ahaha-WHAT?"

"Wait…are ya a guy or girl?"

"Er…"

"…"

"Well, I'm not wearing a-"

"YOU'RE A GUY!"

"Yup!"

_Entry 588_

"Rofly Unter-kun."

"Ya?"

"Yer last name is funny^^"

_Entry 589_

"Who're you?"

"I am Roflmao Unter, Mai-san!"

"Oh…ehehehe, your last anme sounds like Udder!"

"Moo."

"Unter."

"Where?"

"No, Unter as in your last name…not…under…"

"Oh ya, anyways, yer da Decima right?"

"Mm hm! This is Grimmjow, you probably know that."

"Is he yer boyfriend?"

"No!"

"Brother? Cuz you two look like you're related!"

"No. Grimmjow would be wishing for incest." 

"Ohhh~!"

"Shut up, Laughing Udder!"

"AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

"What?"

"YOU CALLED ME LAUGHING UDDER!"

_Entry 590_

Akame-san is talkin' ta his zanpaktou.

An' I'm bored.

Tousen-san is walkin' inta a wall.

Rofly-kun is talkin' ta Lilinette.

Mai n Grimmjow are arguin'…fer some reason dere blushin'…

Tia-chan an' Coyote-kun are restin'. Aww~

Who should I bother…?

ALL O 'EM!

~G~ SCENE CHANGE~ Well…TA A DIFFERENT PART O DA BAG! ~

"Yeah, I like you too…yes really, zanpaktou and their zanpaktou have to like each other…what do you mean you don't like me that way?" muttered Akame-san.

"AKAME-SAN! AIZEN-TAICHO LOVES YOU WITH ALL HIS HEART!"

"WHAT!" HA! I broke his concentration! 

"I can't believe it! Ya better not steal 'im away from me! I don't like ta share!"

"…You're kidding me."

"Yup~!"

~TA ANOTHER PART OF DA BAG! ~

"Arrrrglah!"

"Wonderwiece!"

"Wa-harl!"

"What is it?"

"WA-DA-CHA!"

"Chicken butt…of course…"

*flick*

"OW! What was that for?"

"Haha, ya were stupid enough ta think dat I was Wonderwiece!"

"What have you done to him?"

"Bai bai!"

"GIN!"

*TA …Rofly an' Lilinette*

"And I was wondering if you wanted to-"

"LET'S GO ROFLY-KUN! I WANNA INTRODUCE YA TA MAI-CHAN AGAIN!"

"ICHIMARU!"

"Ya, Lilinette?"

*angry whisper* "I finally work up the courage to ask out Rofly-kun, and you RUIN IT!"

"Um…haha, Gin-sama, I alright met Mai-san."

"Let's go meet her again!"

~Lalalalalala~

"AHH! Grimmjow, get off of me!"

"Hey! Wait a sec!"

"Ngh, get off of me! And stop poking my side, it feels weird!"

"Er…what're they doing…?"

"Rofly-kun, ya know what…doin' it means?"

"No."

"Than let's go."

~After we leave~ 

"Ouch! Grimmjow, stop tripping all the time!"

"So-rry, you're so slow that you always make me trip!"

"And stop poking my side!"

"That wasn't me, it was Pantera."

"Great, even your zanpaktou is perverted."

"Sh-shut up!"

~With Tia-chan an' Coyote-kun~ 

"Shh."

"Why, Coyote-kun?"

"Tia is sleeping."

"Aww, hehehehe, are ya two goin' out?"

"No! Who ARE you anyways?"

"Rofly Unter."

"Hehehe."

"…"

"TIA-CHAN! COYOTE-KUN IS TRYIN' TA UPZIP YER JACKET!"

"BAKA STARRK!"

"NO! I WASN'T TRYING TO!"

~Away from dem~

Ya…I'm done annoyin' ev'ryone…

I'm guessin' it's nighty night time…

Nighty night, ev'ryone!

_END CHAPTER!  
_

_Hm…by request of Wild Tiger-san, I'll do a GrimMai ERT. Thank you! It's nice to know that at least one person doesn't hate my main OC XDDD_

_So…ONWARD!_

Espada Romance Time~ Chocolate Kisses

"Have a chocolate, Grimmjow!"

"Why?" (Looks at it in 'is hand)

"It was the last one! Be thankful I gave it to you~!"

(Blush)

"E-eh…didn't you want one…?"

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure you're getting hungry and I'm just making sure you don't eat cat nip. You act…perverted…when you eat cat nip…"

"Yeah~"

"…"

"Hey, Mai?"

"Hm?"

"Ever heard of a chocolate kiss?"

"Yeah, they're good^^"

"Oh. Has anyone ever given them to you?"

"Well, I think when I was alive I got some on Valentine's Day from classmates and stuff… There was other candy too^^"

(Grim-jow got da chocolate between 'is teeth)

"Ou wanna cha-ca-lat kish?" (You want a chocolate kiss?)

"Sure?"

~Kiss~

"You can have the last chocolate."

(Blush~)

"G-Grimmjow?"

"Hm?"

*Aw~ How cute! Haha^^*

"Thanks."

_END ERT  
_

…_That one seemed rushed…_

_Ah well :)_

_**PLEASE REVIEW~**_

_~G. Ai Inoue_


	61. AN: You Gin Lovers Must Hate Me XD

This is mah- _*slap*_

_BAKA!_

OUCHIE! AN?

_DAMN RIGHT, ICHIMARU GIN!_

O.O~?

_HURRY UP AND FINISH THE DAMN INTRO!_

-Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary?

_YES, HURRY, I HAVE THE REST OF THE SUMMER, BUT I'M NOT PAITIENT RIGHT NOW!  
_

Ev'ryone's starin' at da AN dat's…here…somehow…

_This will be Entry 591_

_Entry 591: You Gin Lovers Must Hate Me XD_

Er…welcome ta da bag?

_*glares*_

O.o~?

_*continues glaring*_

What'd I do?

_Remember in Chapter 59? Stuck in da Bag 7?_

Ya, why?

_Remember in the Espada Romance Time you said to Aizen-_

Ya know 'bout dat…?

_Damn right I do! Now shut up and listen!_

*bein' da curious-ish person I am, I decided ta listen fer once^^*

_You said 'We wouldn't hurt each other at all' about Rangiku!_

Ya, what 'bout it?

_TO READERS WHO DON'T KEEP UP WITH THE MANGA! THIS WILL BE A SPOILER! IF YOU SUPPORT GINXRAN THAN IT WILL BE A MAJOR SPOILER! Don't start reading until you see __**bold somewhere**__ if you don't want to spoil it fer yourself._

Da heck are ya talkin' 'bout…?

_In the latest chapter you FREAKIN' __stabbed__ her! You were childhood friends! How could you just HURT YOUR FRIEND like that?_

She was in da way o Aizen-taicho's plan…

_*glares*_

…*unfazed, still grinin'*…

_***KICK* BAKA! AN: You can read again^^**_

"Owiee…"

"Hey…GIN JUST GOT KICKED BY SOME RANDOM PERSON!"

See, AN? Dey're loyal enough ta come an' help deir commander!

"LET'S GO WATCH HIM LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!"

_Yeah…Grimmjow's the most loyal of them all…_

…Meanie…

_YOU'RE THE MEANIE! BAKA! *slap for the heck of it* AN: Oh, you Gin lovers must hate me right now XDDD)_

*after reading~* "Ohhhh, you mean that lady you keep a picture of?"

"I SAID TA STAY OUTTA MY ROOM, GRIMMJOW!"

"I did. I had Szayel make a robot."

"MY ARMS ARE STILL BROKEN, THANK VERY MUCH, HARRIBEL!"

"Whatever."

"You actually DID that to the chick?"

"She ain't a chick, she's Ran-chan!"

"Kay, so you DID that to Ran?"

"Her name ain't Ran, 'er name's Rangiku."

"WHATEVER! You hurt her! DIDN'T YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON HER OR SOMETHING?"

"NO! I'd NEVA 'ave a crush on Ran-chan!"

"Ichimaru-sama…you keep a picture of her on your night stand… Back when I was your assistant, I even caught you staring at it for almost ten minutes once…"

"Was that why he was late for Aizen's birthday party thing?"

"NO!"

"Yeah."

"WAIT A MINUTE!"

"What, Tia-chan?"

"Remember the end of Chapter 32? Starrk said if I put out the fire in the kitchen, than he would do anything!"

"No!"

"What fire?"

"Why? It was a deal."

"Er… cuz I'm a higher rank and can bo-"

"Oh, NO! I'M the only one who uses that! Well…occasionally Ulquiorra does too…but that's not the point!"

"Oh no…"

"Yes, now come with me while we plan what you're going to do~!"

"I'll go help Star-"

"_No you're not! You're gonna stay here."_

"Uh nozzies…"

_:) _

"What're are you planning, AN?"

"_I'm thinking, Grimmjow."_

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"_I KNOW!"_

"YES! Come on! Everyone who hates Gin get over here!"

*Lilinette, Barragan, Nnoitra, (Grimmjow's already there and Mai), Zommari, Aaroniero, Yammy, and Tousen rush over*

"I don't like or hate Ichimaru-san. And my hands are broken THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH HARRIBEL!"

"You're welcome!" (From the corner… of the bag with Starrk) 

"I don't really hate him; I'm just here cuz Grimmjow dragged me."

"…"

"_Let's all eat all the dried persimmons in Las Noches! That way Gin can't have any!"_

"NOOO! DAT'S DA ONLY GOOD THING 'ROUND 'ERE! HECK, SEIREITEI WAS BETTER CUZ I CAN SMILE MORE! I ACTUALLY FROWNED ONCE DIS MONTH!"

"TO THE DRIED PERSIMMONS!"

"_We should tie him up first…"_

"NO! Neva! I'm yer second in command!" *tries ta escape*

*Next thing he knows, Arrogante, Santa Teresa, Pantera,Brujería, Fornicarás_, _Glotonería, Gin-KazeAuru, and Suzumushi pointed at him* (Not released of course~) (And Szayel on holding his zanpaktou thanks to Tia, but he's biting it^^)

*OM NOM NOM*

"YUM~ Dried persimmons~!"

"LET'S MAKE HIM EAT THE DRIED SWEET POTATOES!"

"NO! I HATE THOSE! LEMME GO! I HATE THO-"

"Stuff it."

"Don't you mean shut it?"

"No, stuffin' his mouth with dried sweet potatoes is better."

"_Wow…you Gin lovers must HATE me right now!"_

"No one really likes Gin around here."

"ATS EAN!" (DAT'S MEAN!)

"_Oh, it is alright, Gin."_

"Ilwy?" (Really?)

"_Nah. Not yet."_

"Whoever knew dried persimmons are so good?"

"There's another stash in his room! Let's get it once we get out!"

"OKAY!"

_Hm…Hello dear readers! _

_G. Ai Inoue here~_

"Thought yer name was AN."

"_Oh, that's just like a nickname! Kinda like yours is Nnoit! Everyone on fanfiction could be called AN!"_

"…What…?"

"_Never mind…huh…I just realized…"_

"What now?"

"_THIS IS A FREAKIN' CRACK FIC! __SURE__ I __TRY__ to have them in character at LEAST a bit, but this is-"_

"We don't care."

"_Friend me on my second facebook account~!_

_http :/ www . facebook . com / home . php ?#! /profile . php ?id = 10000 134043 5031 & v= wall_

"_Get of the spaces!"_

"What the heck did you write in Ichimaru's diary thing?"

"OHWA DE GOV! DISH ISH ORLIBlE!" (OH DEAR GOD! THIS IS HORRIBLE!)

"_He really does hate those dried sweet potatoes…"_

"Wow…"

"_Oh, by the way, I'm takin' a small break from this fic."_

"What's a fic? Is it a cuss word? ALRIGHT! Hey, Grimmjow!"

*stops from stuffing more dried sweet potatoes at Gin* "What?"

"FIC YOU!"

"Wha…? FIC YOU TOO!"

"_It means I love you!"_

"F*** I DON'T MEAN IT NNOITRA! I AIN'T SZAYEL GAY!"

"FOR. THE. LAST. EFFING. TIME! I. SZAYEL. APORRO. GRANTZ. OCTAVE. ESPADA. OF. AIZEN-SAMA'S. EFFING. ARMY. AM. NOT. FREAKIN'. _**NOT**_. GAY. GAY!"

"Whaddya gonna do? Bite us?"

"NO, YOU'RE GOING OT REGRET…DAMN YOU TIA FOR BREAKING MY HANDS!"

"What're you gonna do? Bite me?"

"BURN, Pinky!"

"…"

_Side note…Like I said I'm taking a break from this…working on Not So Happy Ending instead…that doesn't really matter so…_

_Wow…you Gin lovers must hate me so much right now XD Please review? Ehhehe…_


	62. Stuck in da Bag 9

Diary-kun, look! Oi, minna-chan! ^^ Arigatou-gozaimasu fer readin' dis far an' stickin' with us! Don't fer'get ta review! Ah, ya probably want me ta shut up now, so on with da chapter!

Dis is: Stuck in da Bag 9: Entry 592-600!

_Entry 592_

Ahha, nice ta write again, Diary-kun^^

_It is good to see that you like to write, Ichimaru-kun._

E-eh, hiya…Unohana-taicho…

_How are you, Ichimaru-kun?_

Fine.

_So…have you made any friends? _

Da Espada dun' really like me. Hate me, actually.

_That's horrible! You had plenty of friends back in Seireitei!_

Ne…how's Ran-chan?

_Last time I saw her, Matsumoto-fukutaicho was getting drunk with Hisagi-fukutaicho._

Sounds just like 'er! Aizen-taicho's drunk…still…

_That will be one killer hangover…_

"OH DEAR GOD! I mean…OH DEAR ME! THAT LOOKS LIKE A LOAD OF- BLAHHHARRRZZZ! SH**!

_Ugh, I can't stand having to hear or see ANYONE barfing._

Hehehe, 'ere comes more!

"UUGGHHHH BLLLARRRRRG! WAAAHHHHWOLLOOG! BALAWARGLAHHHHH! !"

…Do ya think we should check on 'im, Unohana-taicho…?

…_That's one hell of a barf…_

_Entry 593_

"I'm Unohana Retsu-taicho of the Fourth Division. Who're you two?"

"Sexta Espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez."

"Mai Cifer, Decima Espada."

"Aww, you two look like you're related! Are you dating?"

"No…"

"…Yeah."

"BAKA!"

_Entry 594_

Retsu-san refuses ta check on Aizen-taicho so she-

_I would never avoid or refuse a patient! I just…have to deal with this little girl's leg!_

Um…I'm fine? And you're a Shinigami… AND I'M NOT LITTLE!

**Yeah, you are.**

BAKA! Just shut up, I'm in a bad mood today…

Looks like _someone's_ havin' deir time o da mon-

SHUT UP, BAKA!

Yer just provin' my point…

_Entry 595_

"Nnoitra, Hirako, I dun' think we should be called de Freaky Smiles Club…"

"Why not, Ichimaru?"

"Cuz freaky stuff scares children! We dun' wanna scare children! We're friendly!"

"Good point…but we DO still want to kill stuff…"

"As Official Vizard of this group, I'm renaming us, the Creepy Smiles Club!"

"Hey, I'm the Official Arrancar! An Espada actually!"

"An' I'm da Official Shinigami!"

"HEY! Now that you're the creepy club, can I join?"

"No, Ichi-kun, yer freaky. Children dun' like you."

_Entry 596_

"OW! OW! OW! OW! WHAT THE F***? GET OFF OF ME!"

…Dis is a freakin' miracle…

**Isn't it usually da other way around…?**

HAHAHA! Nice dress, Nnoit-CHAN! Ya look like Neliel-san!

**SHUT UP!**

"OUCH! WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING?"

**WHY the f*** is MAI on top of GRIMMJOW? It really is supposed to be the other way around!**

"OUCH! OW OW OW OW OW! MY ARM! MY ARM! F*** THAT HURTS! WHY THE F*** ARE YOU DOING THIS?"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK, BAKA-NEKO? FOR BREAKING MY LEG!"

"F***! THAT HURTS!"

OH THANK KAMI-SAMA! DAT'S why Mai-chan's on 'im!

**For a moment, I actually thought…**

Haha, good one, Nnoit!

"F***! I HEARD IT BREAK! DID YOU F***IN HEAR THAT?"

*FLIPS OVER*KICKS!*

"HOLY SHI**! Ow…Grimmjow…"

"OUCH! What?"

"GET OFF OF ME! YOU JUST F***IN' SPILT MY LEG IN HALF!"

"Are…are you…crying?"

"SHUT UP!" *WHACK TA DA HEAD!*

"Ow! Hey…you're having your time of the month, aren't you?"

"I-if I wasn't in so much pain right now, I'd kick you in the crotch so hard that you won't be able to walk for a month."

"…I'm…"

Awww, he's apologizin'!

"…I'm…almost positive you're having your time of the month now…"

"Ohhh, how I'm so glad we're handcuffed together!" *evil grin*

_Entry 597_

Hm…Grimmjow's more popular den Ulquiorra!

Hm…ya should hear some fangirl reactions when dey first saw him!

Random girl 1: OMFG HE'S HOT! *animated nosebleed*

Random girl 2: He's SOOO HOT! *faints*

Random girl 3: HE'S A SEXY KITTY!

Random girl 4: O….M…F…G! *SQUEAAAAALLL!* HE'S SO F***IN HOT! THE KITTY'S HOTTER THAN THE EMO!

Random girl 5: *nosebleed* He's got abs! SO HOT!

Random girl 6: I wish he would (CENSORED) me! So sexy~

**Ooo, ooo, what was Mai's reaction?**

_Oh, you would love to know!  
_

Nice cast ya two. Yer like brother an' sister!

_**HOW?**_

Ya both got a blue cast! 

_Hey! I have turquoise and he has light blue! COMPLETE difference!_

**Actually, it's just blue this time.**

_But blue is Primera-san's color._

**He doesn't mind.**

_I wish Primera-san would just get up and beat you up…_

Will ya two stop fightin'? 

**OW OW OW OW OW! MY ARM HURTS AGAIN!**

_HOLY-_

Yer a chibi! 

**HOW?**

I threw somethin' at ya a few chapters back… Oh ya! It was Szayel's machine!

_And it turned you into a chibi…_

"Up!"

…_Please tell me he's talking to you…_

I dun' think so… ya ARE handcuffed ta'gether…

"Up, Mai-chan! Up!"

_Entry 598_

"Wait…if Aizen-sama is…not available… than who is his second in command?"

"Dat would be me, Tia-chan!"

"…"

"By da way, what'd ya make Starrk do?"

"I don't have to tell you…"

"YES YA DO~! I command ya to!"

"You must be bored… Anyways… I sacrificed having the Primera as my servant and made him play games with Lilynette and stuff like that…"

"COME ON STARRK! YOU'RE IT!"

"*practically crying* I'm sooo tired…"

"COME ON STARRK!"

"How're you so energetic…?"

"I HAD SUGAR FOR LUNCH!"

"Oh, how dat explains sooo much…"

_Entry 599_

"Fine, fine, I'll pick you up!"

"Yayy!"

"Aww, he's so cute, ain't he Mai-chan?"

"I guess…"

"Dun' deny it~!"

"Yeah…he IS pretty cute as a little kid…"

"Yay! Mai-chan thinks I'm cute! I wuv you, Mai-chan!"

"E-eh…"

"Are ya blushin' Mai-chan?"

"No! I…erm…just…felt a little overheated! I'm gonna go lie down…"

"I wanna take a nap, too Mai-chan!"

"An' ya ARE handcuffed."

"…Fine, let's go, Grimmjow."

"I'm guessin' he don't remember his memories?"

"What do ya mean, Smiley-sama?"

"He's so cute, ain't he?"

"Y-yeah, so cute, I'm tired, so good night."

"G'night, night, Mai-chan!"

"Night, Grimmjow…"

"…Mai-chan?"

"Hm?"

"Can I have a good night kiss?"

"E-eh…no."

"MEANIE!"

_Entry 600_

WOAH! Someone's movin' da bag!

Hm…

*THUD!*

Da bags not in mah room an'more! (I can tell!)

"Stupid rain…" we heard da person who moved it! Can't tell who it is cuz o da thunderin'…

"Hahaha, Gin-sama, the lightenin' an' thunder is loud an' bright!"

"R-Rofly-kun!"

"Be quiet, Lilinette. It's just a sound, we'll be fine."

"We can sit ta'gether in da corner, Lilinette-kun… I'm kinda afraid of thunder, too…"

"O-okay, Rofly-kun^^"

"Mai-chan, I'm afraid of the scawy sounds! Will you keep me safe?"

"Aww, so cute! Ain't he, Mai-chan?"

"Grimmjow, it's just a sound. You'll be alright."

*snuggles up closer^^* (AN: SO CUUTE!)

"B-but I'm afwaid of it… It sounds scawy…"

"Grimmjow, how old are you?"

"I'm dis many." *holds up three fingers*

"Okay… I'm guessing in Living years… Grimmjow, the thunder is just a sound. It's not gonna do anything to you. Besides, we're in this indestructible bag. I know it won't break because even _Aizen-sama's __reiatsu_ didn't break it! We're in Las Noches and in the bag. You're gonna be fine. If you're still scared…than…than… I'll be here… And if that thunder gets in here somehow, we'll just kick thunder's butt, right, Grimmjow?"

*nods* "Yup! You'll keep me safe, Mai-chan! We're gonna kick thunders BUTT! HI-YA! KUNG-FU FIGHTIN'!"

"Haha, yup, Ichimaru-sama will help, too!"

"EVERY BODY WAS LIGHTIN' FIGHTIN'! IT WAS FAST AS…LIGHTIN'! IT WAS REALLY FRIGHTENIN'!"

"…"

"WAHHHHHHH! HI-YA! RAWR!"

O.O …

"YOU CAN NEVER CATCH ME LIGHTING! MY SONIDO IS _AWESOME_!"

"I have a feelin' ya should put 'im ta bed now, Mai-chan…"

"Yeah…"

"ULTRA KITTY KICK!"

_End chapter XDD_

_Hm~ CHIBI GRIMMY! XD_

_Hiya, everyone! I'm sure you missed me~~~_

_So…_

Espada Romance Time! (FRIENDSHIP pairing ta'day!) Tan & Pale

I wanna tell 'bout a time when we were at da Bahamas…

*FLASHBACK*

"Aizen-sama, have you seen Starrk anywhere?"

"No, Tia. By the way, your gigai is…beautiful."

"…Thank you…?" *goes to find Starrk*

"Barragan, have you-?"

*COUGH COUGH CHOKE CHOKE*

*sigh* "LORD Barragan, have you seen Starrk?"

"No…but I'm here~"

"You're not getting any."

"Darn it…"

"Tousen-sama, Gin, have you seen Starrk?"

"Nuh-uh."

"…Ermm…I…can't really…see anything…"

"Oh…oops, sorry…"

"Ulquiorra!"

"Yes?"

"…first…what are you doing?"

"I am…uh…attempting to…I mean…I am…standing on this trashy board…"

"If you're trying to surf…get into the water…"

"…I know…"

"…Do you need help?"

"…Fine, yes I need help, Tia."

"Okay…well, get Gin to help you, he TRIED surfing…once or twice before…"

"He nearly drowned himself and all of us! I still remember when he almost killed that dolphin!"

"…Good luck…you'll need it…"

*out in the deeper parts of the ocean where Tia decides to go for a swim*

"Oh look, another shark!"

"T-TIA!"

"What? ULQUIORRA?"

"GIN IS NOT HELPING AT ALL."

"Um…TRY GETTING RID OF THE DOLPHIN!"

"THAT'S NOT A DOLPHIN! IT'S GIN IN A DOLPHIN SUIT!"

"HIYA, TIA-CHAN~!"

"Just jump! YOU CAN SWIM, RIGHT?"

"…TOZASE, MURCILAGO!"

"…*sigh* Ute, Tiburon."

*under water*

"BAKA! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST FLY UP?"

"I can't swim well…SAVE ME DAMMIT!"

*after a while*

"Are you alright, Ulquiorra?"

"NO!"

"I don't care; I might as well find Starrk and Lilinette."

"Tia."

"What?"

"...You might want to…get out of your resureccion…"

"Oh, good idea, you too, Ulquiorra. Who knew you were a bat?"

"…Bats fly…"

"I assume you like flying? It explains why you always fight from aerial stand points…"

"…YOU can't fly…"

"…I can swim…*cough*unlike you*cough cough!*"

"Birds fly and swoop down to catch fish."

"Fish can strangle and drown bats if they dive too low."

"I never heard of anything stupider. Well…maybe onna…"

"I made it up."

"Figures."

"…"

"…"

"You should thank me for saving your pale butt."

"Shut up, I don't like the sun that much."

"You can't tell me what to do. I'm a-"

"Higher rank and can boss me around."

"…"

"…*sigh* Thank you for saving my pale butt…"

"Haha, no problem. How about if you're ever drowning or I'm ever falling out of the sky, we'll save each other's tan and pale butts."

"…Deal?"

"Deal"

*random handshake of deals*

*with Starrk and Lilinette*

*on an inner tube thingy, tied to a rock, snoozin' away!*

*END FLASHBACK*

An' dat's how Tia an' Ulqui-orra are friends…kinda…

_AN: Yeah…didn't feel like writing cute/romance-y ERT today… ah well, Tan & Pale is what I call it. Plain and simple. Here's another Plain and Simple Sentence._

_Please Reivew._

_~G. Ai Inoue_

_PS_

_I just couldn't stay away from this! It's barely been a week! XD_


	63. Stuck in da Bag 10

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Chibi Grimmjow's…amusin'…

Entry 601-610: Stuck in da Bag 10

_Entry 601_

"Ilforte-nii!"

"…gnihtemos tnaw tsum uoy os, IIN-etroflI em llac reven uoY"

"Erm…why would you think that^^?"

"…"

"Fine, fine, I want you to help me with my experiment! Seeing that you are my dear big brother!"

"orropA leyazS, hguoht uoy knaht, tnemom eht ta noitidnoc htlaeh dna, seiceps, redneg ym ekil I !sdrwkcab gnikaeps llits m'I !em no gnitnemirepxe uoy ekil erom si 'uoy gnipleH' !ON"

"What about hair color?"

"ON!"

"Pwease my…_awesome_ older brother? Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pleaseeeeeee?" *puppy dog eyes*

"! ypeerc 'nikaerf s'tI !krow t'now gniggeB"

"I'm not creepy! I'm your cute little brother asking for help!"

"! ETUC TON ERA UOY! YDAERLA UOY DLOT I"

_Entry 602_

"Ilforte, what're ya doin'?"

Nothing.

"Hey! Ya can write forwards!"

I can write, I can't talk.

"Ohhh…what're ya doin'?"

I'm testing this liquid on Szayel.

"WHY?"

Cuz he's always trying to test stuff on me. So-

"WAIT! THROW IT! HURRY! DAT TURNED GRIMMJOW INTA A CHIBI!"

"TAHW?" *chucks it at Szayel's head*

"Owiee…"

"Uh-oh…"

I…can't believe I turned my bratty brother into a brat…

"Ya got a problem…"

You got that right, bro.

"Why do ya call ev'ryone bro?"

Just…because…

"O-ow…"

"Szayel Aporro, ya okay?"

"U-um…yeah…I think so…"

"Ne, Szay-kun, do ya know how ta make yer brother stop talkin' backwards?"

"Um…yeah… Just dwink dat!" *points to a blue liquid*

*chugs it* "HOLY SH***! THIS TASTES LIKE SH**, BRO! ARE YOU TRYING TO F***IN' KILL ME?"

"Ya can talk again!"

"Oh…cool! Alright, bro!"

"Ilforte-nii?"

"What?"

"Your…hair…"

"What about my hair?"

"It wooks like a girl's."

"….F*** off."

"DUN' USE BAD WORDS!"

_Entry 603_

"Bro, meet Grimmjow."

"Hewwo, Grimmjow."

"Grimmjow, meet my little bro, Szayel."

"Hiya, Szayel! Wanna go bother the blind guy?"

"Sure!"

*runs off*

"I never knew you and Szayel-san were related…"

"Yeah, we pretend we're not… HEY!"

"WOAH! WHAT?"

"You're not handcuffed to Grimmjow anymore!"

"Hey, you're right! I'm not! I should go and untie the bag!"

*rushes over*

"Wow, who knew the bag is so big… I can't even reach the knot!"

"Wow…*looks up* that dollar store must sell some crazy stuff…"

"Hey, Ilforte? Can you lift me up so we can untie the bag?"

"Sure."

"Ouch! Watch the cast!"

"Sor-OOF!"

"OUCH!"

*obviously, something tripped Ilforte*

"WHADDYA DOING?"

"Baka, we're trying to untie the bag! What did you think we were doing, Grimmjow?"

"I thought you were trying to glue Mai-chan to the wall!"

_Entry 604_

"Mai-chan?"

"What is it, Grimmjow?"

"I wuv you."

"E-eh…"

"Do you wuv me too?"

"S-sure, why not…"

"Will you give me a kiss?"

"…No…"

"Pwease?"

*kisses his head*

(AN: CHIBI HIM IS SOO CUTE!)

"Will you kiss my cheek?"

"No."

"But you kissed Ilforte!"

"What? No I didn't!"

"You wike Ilforte, but you hate me!" *animatedly cries*

"No I don't! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?"

"YOU WUV ILFORTE BUT YOU DON'T WUV ME!"

"SHUT UP I DON'T LOVE YOU TWO!"

"WAHHH! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!"

"Oh my- JUST SHUT UP!"

"WAHH! YOU TOLD ME TO SHUT UP!"

"GRIMMJOW! LISTEN FOR ONCE! I DON'T love Ilforte. Heck, remember your motto? We are Arrancar, we don't love. We kill stuff."

"…But you still don't wuv _me_!"

"…You're a five year old…I'm not a pedophile…"

*glares*

*stares back*

*a while later*

"What're you two doing?"

"Be quiet, Ilforte, we're having a staring contest!"

"Not really, he already blinked like seven times."

"…Why…?"

"Cuz I had to blink!"

"No, I mean why are you having a staring contest, bro?"

"Cuz Mai-chan doesn't wu-"

"Grimmjow thinks that I like you."

"…Do you?"

"Not like…_that_. Just as a friend."

"Good…

"Mai-chan?"

"Hm?"

"YOU LOST DE STARING CONTEST!"

_Entry 605_

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What's so funny, Szayel?"

"L-l-look HAHAHAHA a-at Grimmjow! BWAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Eh? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What's so-HAHAHAHA! Wh-what ha-hahaha-happened, Gr-Grimmjow? HAHAHA!"

" Szayel made me drink something that looked like orange juice. IT TASTED NASTY! So I said GRIND, PANTERA! RAWR! Then I got kitty ears and a tail. AND EVEN WHEN I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A KITTY ANYMORE, I'M STUCK WITH THE TAIL AND EARS!"

"Awww! P-poor you! You're so cute like that though!"

"Never thought I'd say this, bro, but Grimmjow, you're a cute lil' kitty!"

"OH YEAH? You're a big stupid cow!"

"HEY! Cows are girls, I'm a BULL!"

"YOU'RE A COW!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Both of you shut up!"

"Says the bird brain."

"Oh you're just asking for it!"

"What're you all talkin' about? If yer fighting over who's the best… I am! I'm perfect!"

"Bro, you're a PERVERT! What kinda name is Fornicaras?"

_AN: Fornicaras means You Will Fornicate. Find out what fornicate means. The name of the zanpaktou comes from what they are or what goes on in their minds, I think, for Arrancar._

"I dunno…but I'm perfect!"

"Bro, your zanpaktou has blue balls on it!"

"ARG! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT THESE BLUE BALLS CAN DO!" 

(AN: XDDD)

_Entry 606_

"Twinkle, twinkle, wittle star! How I wonder what you are! UP ABOVE the world so hiiiigh! Like a dia-mond in the sky~! TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR! HOW! I! WON-DER~! WHERE! YOU ARE~~~!"

*claps because they have to*

"Great job, bro!"

"Thank you, Ilforte-nii!

"This is BORING! I wanna have a piggy back ride! Will you give me one, Mai-chan?"

"Fine, fine."

"Yayyy!"

"Ow, hey! STOP TUGGING ON MY HAIR!"

"GO FASTER!"

"I HAVE A BROKEN LEG, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

"Oh…sowwy… let's have a race! But dis time, I'll give Szayel one since he has broken hands!"

"Who're you gonna race against?"

"Um…"

"I know! Ilforte-nii can give Mai-san a piggy back ride while Grimmjow gives me one!"

*a while later again*

"GO GRIMMJOW GO! ILFORTE-NII IS BEATING US!"

"I CAN'T YOU'RE HEAVY!"

"Funny how you're not even trying and we're still winning…"

"I know how we can win, Grimmjow!"

"HOW?"

*whisper whisper*

"STOP YANKING ON MY EARS!"

"Szayel, what're you do-WAHH!"

"ILFORTE!"

"MAI!"

"MAI-CHAN! I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA, SZAYEL!"

"ILFORTE-NII! What do you mean? You agreed completely!"

"Ilforte, Mai-chan, are you okay?"

"HURRY GRIMMJOW! WE COULD WIN IF YOU RUN NOW!"

"RIGHT RIGHT! TO THE FINISH LINE!"

*runs and jumped onto the couch, flinging Szayel behind it*

"WE WON!"

Ilforte and Mai: "Ow…"

_Entry 607_

"Mai-chan, Ilforte-kun, are ya alright?"

"I'm fine, Ichimaru-san!"

"Y-yeah…I'm okay… Hey…what're they doing over there…?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"SZAYEL!"

"Do you really care about your brother that much…?"

"No, I hate him actually… I cared about him when he was little though…"

"WAHHHHH! GRIMMJOW, KILL IT!"

"He better not be talking about my fraccion…"

"Your fraccion aren't in here! Lucky them…"

"Yeah…"

"KILL IT!"

"We should go check on them…"

"Good idea, sis."

"…Erm…could you…carrymeoverthere?"

"…Sure…"

*over there*

*cries* "WAHHHHH ILFORTE-NII!"

"What's wrong bro?" 

*cries even more* "K-KILL HER!"

"…WHY do you want me to kill Mai?"

"NO! NOT HER! _HER!_ KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!"

"Wha-?"

"WAHHHHH! ILFORTE-NII!" *runs to his brother, huggin' his leg* AN: SOO CUUUTE!

"Woah! Woah! Bro, I can't pick you up right now! What am I supposed to kill and why?"

"ILFORTE, KILL IT!"

"You too, Grimmjow?"

"THAT! AND IT'S SOO SCAWY!"

"A…spider? Bro, you HAVE to be kidding me!"

"KILL IT, ILFORTE-NII!"

"KILL IT!"

"Alright, alright! Geez, don't start acting like a girl on me!"

*whack ta da head from Mai-chan!*

"Ow, hey! Szayel, stop screaming, just let me put Mai down fir-"

"HELL NO! You're not putting me down with that scary creature crawling only a foot away!"

"You're afraid of a SPIDER?"

"No! Well…only a little…kinda…fine, yes, I'm afraid of spiders…"

"KILL IT AREADY, ILFORTE!"

"KILL IT, ILFORTE-NII!"

"Sometimes I can't believe you three are higher ranked than me…Heck, I can't believe you three are Espada…"

*Three whacks ta da head*

_Entry 608_

"HOLY SHI-!"

"EEEEEP! _SUSURE, __**FORNICARAS!**_"

"KILL IT, BRO, KILL IT!"

"I CAN'T DO RESURCCION! WAHHH! I'M TOO SMALL TO USE IT!"

"STAB IT! STAB IT!"

*STAB STAB STAB*

"IT'S TOO FAST! Do something!"

"AHHH!" *stabs Pantera at it*

*stabs GinKaze-Auru at it*

*stabs Del Toro at it*

"Brother that is one fast spider!"

"It's looking at us…"

"WAHHH! I'M SCARRED! ILFORTE!" *starts climbing up Ilforte to get away from the spider XDDD*

"ILFORTE-NII!" *climbs up him also, clinging to his neck* (AN: KAWAII~~~!)

"GET OFF OF ME DAMMIT!"

"HELL NO! I'm not getting off! That spider is a freakin' huge, furry, and 6 inches long!"

"I'M SCAWED, ILFORTE-NII!"

"DO SOMETHING ILFORTE!"

"WHY ME DAMMIT?"

_Entry 609_

"Why are ya all on da couch? Dere ain't enough room fer all o ya!"

"There was a spider."

"Ilforte…"

"What, bro?"

"Yer hair."

"I KNOW it looks girly! Shut it! Szayel's the one with pink hair!"

"Y-you don't like my pink h-hair…?" *scrunches up face*CRIES*

"WAHHHHHHH!"

"Great, look what you did now, bro!"

"Whaddya talkin' about? I'm not da one with braids in mah hair!"

"What-? OH MY- BRO, SIS, YOU _HAVE_ TO BE SERIOUSLY INSANE! YOU _BRAIDED_ MY HAIR?"

"Your hair was tempting to play with."

"Seriously, Mai?"

"Yup."

"Ohh, add this too, Mai-san! Grimmjow has one too!"

*adds a pink bow and a blue bow to his hair*

"There, now you've got beautiful hair!"

"My…my…"

"Yes?"

"No, not Mai as in you, my as in MINE!"

"Oh…"

"MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" *sobs in an oh so manly way XD*

_Entry 610_

"You're so Szayel Gay sometimes, bro."

"I'M NOT GAY, ILFORTE-NII! AND I CAN PROVE IT!"

"Alright, prove it, little bro."

"I don't like to shop."

"Bro, you went to a HAIR salon! You're hair is PINK!"

"I can't control my hair color! You used to have pinkish hair!"

"Shut up…"

"Ev'ryone thinks I'm gay…it's mean…"

"You LOOK gay, Szayel."

"And YOU look like a douche bag!"

"Don't use bad words, bro."

"Hey! Ilforte-nii looks like HE'S gay! Look at his hair!"

"YOU DID IT!"

"No, Mai-san did."

"You STILL have pink hair."

"Grimmjow has blue hair!"

"So does Mai."

"AND SHE'S A GIRL! APACHE HAS BLUE HAIR TOO!"

"So Grimmjow has a girly hair color."

"Blue is a boy color! Pink is a girl color!"

"I'M NOT GIRLY!"

"CUZ YER GAY!"

"NO, I'M NOT! STOP MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT! STUPID STEREOTYPES JUST MAKE PEOPLE SAD!"

"He's got a point there, bro."

"Yeah, Grimmjow."

"…I HATE YOU ALL!"

"…That's deep, bro. And random."

"I don't care. You're trash anyways."

"You know…after you trying to proclaim your sarcastic undying love for me, I'm almost happy."

"Wahh! I hate all of you! Except Mai-chan! I wuv her!"

"Why me…"

"Cuz he 'wuvs' you, sis."

"Shut up Ilforte."

_END CHAPTER!_

_I might wrap up the Stuck in da Bags soon. Only thing stopping me is that I still have more pairing ideas for ERT!_

Espada Romance Time! (friendship with those romancey moments pairing today people)

_Sweet Dreams_

Ev'ryone's sleepin…cept fer Ilforte!

Aww~ Szayel an' Grimmjow are sleepin' back ta back wile sittin' up! SO KAWAII! Ilforte's half layin' down an' all, an' Mai-chan's- awwww^^

"Ilforte."

"Woah! I'mnotdoinganything! I mean…Yo, bro."

"It seems ya like Mai-chan."

"Sure, she's a good friend, bro. But I'm not going on any double date with you and that Shinigami you have a picture of."

"STAY. OUTTA. MAH. ROOM."

"Whatever."

"Grim-jow would kill ya if he knew dat she liked ya better den him."

"But Grimmjow's an Espada. Heck, remember the fangirls?"

"Ya…"

"Who would choose a fraccion over an Espada?"

"She IS an Espada. I'ma go an' leave ya alone now~"

"…Whatever, bro…"

*a while later*

*I'ma spyin' on Ilforte!*

*Oh my f***…*

*Welcome, Aizen-taicho…yer just in time fer another ERT*

*Ohh…dear f*** that was one hell of a hangover…*

*We could tell*

*Aww, Ilforte's-WAIT A MINUTE! My Espada can't date fraccion!*

*SHUSH, Aizen-taicho! She's asleep! Ya can't just barge in an'-*

*Omg…Ilforte's so romantic!*

*No he's not… Ya can narrate now…*

*I've always wanted to do that! I've practiced! See? He caressed her cheek gently and started to lean down, his lips merely inches away from hers. He brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face as his lips made contact with hers, in a gentle soft kiss!*

*…Dat's not actually what's happenin' ya know…*

*I was giving an example!*

*…*

*Ilforte gently pulls Mai closer to him in a hug, her hair falling over her face in a graceful way!*

*How can AN'ONE be graceful in dere sleep?*

*Shut up, Gin! Where was I? She shifted in her sleep, making him blush because her head rested gently on his chest. He could feel her body heat because of how close they ar-*

*sigh*Aizen-taicho, ya wouldn't know 'bout body heat, YER NOT HIM!*

*SHUT IT! Anyways, Ilforte carefully moves them into a more sitting position. Mai is pretty much in his lap as he gently turns her head. Thinking about how calm, serene, and cute Mai looked in her sleep, he cups his hand over her cheek, inching their faces closer together*

*Really…ya don't know what he's thinkin'…*

*Stop interrupting, Gin! This is the first time I'm narrating something that's live! As his lips were a mere cm away-*

"YAHHH! WHAT'RE YOU DOING TO MAI-CHAN, ILFORTE?"

"Ilforte-nii…?"

*Young jealous Grimmjow shoves Ilforte, forcing him and Mai to the ground. He fell on top of her, his lips also colliding onto hers!*

*Yer too excited…*

"ILFORTE-NII! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?"

"MAI!"

(After they…break contact)

"I-Ilf-forte…? W-why…?"

"I-I-I-I swear I'm not tryin' anythin', Sis!"

"U-um…s-sure…it's fine…"

"Y-yeah…sorry, Sis."

"Um…Ilforte…?" *blush*

"What?"

"Could…could you…maybe get off of me…?" *blush~*

*blush~* "S-sure…Wait, sis…"

"Yeah…?"

"…G'nightandsweetdreams!"

*An' with a kiss on da cheek, he's off in a quick sonido!*

*You are quite good at narrating, Gin…*

_Hm…_

_ERT might getting sucky for you guys, eh?_

_Oh well, please review, send in your own ERT and I might post whoever's seems pretty good^^_

_I might wrap up the Stuck in da Bags soon…_

_Which means I might end ERT… I only write romance in my for fun story…that I don't plan on EVER posting XD unless I made major change XD_

_I'm thinking of writing a humor fic. Something where Szayel experiments on Ilforte and he turns into a girl. Szayel learns he'd rather have an older brother, instead of a sister and they make a brotherly bond!_

_NOT YAOI!_

_Probably not gonna write it…_

_~G. Ai Inoue_


	64. Stuck in da Bag 11

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Grim-jow keeps cryin' 'bout de 'love triangle'…Szayel's laughin' in his face…

_AN: And my lovely 300__th__ reviewer is CAMEO1 and Only!_

Entry 611-620: Stuck in da Bag 11

_Entry 611_

"WAHHHH! I WAS RIGHT!"

"Are you happy or sad? I can't tell…"

"She wuvs Ilforte! IT'S A TRIANGLE! A TRIANGLE I TELL YOU!" 

"Um…Grimmjow…"

"What, Szayel?"

"HAHAHA! IN YOUR FACE! THE GRANTZ FAMILY HAS BETTER LOOKS! WOO-HOO!"

_Entry 612_

_Hiya, Diary-san!_

Oh, hiya Chibi Szayel!

_Hiya, Gin-san!_

Whaddya think of de triangle?

_It's not a triangle._

Eh?

_You see, it's a love V. Grimmjow likes Mai, I'm GUESSING Mai likes Ilforte-nii, and Ilforte-nii likes Mai! If it was a triangle, than…hm…Ilforte-nii likes Mai…Mai would have to like Grimmjow…and Grimmjow would like Ilforte-nii!_

He did SAY it was a triangle… SO, he's thinkin' Mai-chan likes 'im, an'…he likes yer Ilforte-nii?

_Uh-huh_

Wow…so…Grim-jow IMPLIED dat he likes Ilforte…

_Uh-huh_

Wow…so…he implied…dat…he's gay?

_Uh-huh_

Szayel…

_Yeah?_

Stop tryin' ta make other people look gay.

_But I'm right about the triangle and V, right?_

…

_Entry 613_

"I'M MAD."

"Why, Grim-kun?"

"Your brother, my OWN FRACCION! He KNEW I wiked Mai!"

"Grim-kun, YOU were the one that shoved Ilforte-nii on top of her…"

"SO?"

"…MEANING…that YOU are the REASON why you're mad. Don't blame Ilforte-nii."

"Y-you mean…SHE STILL WUVS ME! WOO-HOO! Thanks, Szayel!"

*rushes off ta find Mai-chan*

"That's…not what I…said…"

"Ne, dis'll be interestin', right Szay-kun?"

"Since…Ilforte-nii is there…yes, it will be interesting^^"

_Entry 613_

"Ilforte, put Mai down now!"

"It is fine, Grimmjow, he's carrying me over to the fridge to get a snack! Wanna come with us?"

"NO! It's NOT FINE! STOP LIKING MAI-CHAN!"

"**NO! NEVER! I love Mai and because our love is so strong, I shall stop listening to you! Mai Cifer, will you marry me?"**

Nah, dat's not really what happened, I got bored an' wanted ta make it seem funnier. Dis is what dey really said.

"…What are you talking about?"

_Entry 614_

"Yo, Kenichi-san, whaddya doin'?"

"Sosuke handcuffed me to his bed while he slept. Do you happen to have the key?"

"No."

"This thing is incredibly strong."

"…I think he's wakin' up…"

"How would you know?"

"BEFRIEND THE DINOSAURS! THE BRITISH ARE COMING DAMMIT!"

"…Yer just a _lil' bit _off on yer history, Aizen-taicho…"

_Entry 615_

"Szay-kun, do ya know how ta reverse de chibi-fier?"

"Um…uh-huh."

"How?"

"Let's see… drink that orange stuff in that beaker."

"M'kay. GRIMMJOW, GET YER BLUE HEAD OVER 'ERE AN' DRINK DIS ORANGE THING!"

"You might wanna be careful…"

"Why?"

"I dun' remember…"

"Alrighty, here's yer drink ya two!"

*Grimmjow and Szayel drink the orange stuff*

"AHHH! MY THROAT IS BURNING! GLLARRAHH! IL-ILFORTE-NII!"

"WAHHH! MY MOUTH HURTS! WATER! WATER!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bro, that's hilarious!"

"W-why HAHAHA, are they r-rolling around?"

"WAHAHAHAHA! Cuz th-they're HAHAHA! Rollin' on floor laughin'! HAHAHA!"

"Rofly-kun!"

Mai: "HAHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Gin: "AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Rofly: "BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Ilforte: "MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

O.O

"Woah…"

"Hahaha! Who knew ya had a laugh, Ilforte-san?"

"Almost as creepy as Nnoitra when he's drunk or tryin' ta sound like Santa!"

"…I think I got it from Szayel…mad scientist laugh…*shudders* creepy…"

"Hahaha, yer a natural! Laughs Club an'one?"

"Dun' try ta copy de Creepy Smiles Club, Rofly-kun."

"At least I'm not a wannabe smiler! *cough*hahaha*NNOITRA*cough* Hahaha^^"

_Entry 616_

"Hey, let's dress Szayel and Grimmjow up in cute costumes! They're still chibi-fied, so let's have some fun!"

"How the heck did you think of that, Mai?"

"It'll be fun, Ilforte! Will you ever find another way so blackmail Szayel-san?"

"Good point…and you could take a picture and black mail Grimmjow!"

"To the cute costumes!"

"Sis, I'm not a horse. So stop using the hair as reigns!"

"Why'd you keep your hair braided? I mean, braided pigtails aren't exactly manly…"

"…I can't figure out how to undo it…"

_Entry 617_

"Oh my gosh~! Grimmjow, you're sooo cute!"

"I'M A DINOSAUR!"

"Szayel, bro, you don't look so excited…"

"…I'm a dinosaur…so like, rawr and stuff…so what?"

"RAWR! I'M THE GRIMMYSAUROUS!"

"Rawr…~…I'm the I-Think-This-Is-Boring-And-Stupid-Thing-That-Mai-san-And-Ilforte-nii-Made-Us-Do-Cuz-They're-Bored-a-saur-ous."

"…"

"That's a long name, Szayel! So I'll change it to the Pinkasarous!"

_Entry 618_

"Aww! Where'd ya two get de dino costumes?"

"We found them in Aizen-sama's tent! Do you know why he has them, Ichimaru-sama?"

"Ne, I think I knew why…"

**FLASHBACK**

"_Aizen-taicho! Aizen-taicho!"_

"_Gin, I'm busy, this better be important…"_

"_It is! Do ya know dat noble kid? Byakuya Kuchiki?"_

_*starts ta listen cuz he could maybe use 'im too* "Yes, what about him?"_

"_Yoruchi-taicho-san said she wanted me ta be friends with Bya-kun! She said somethin' 'bout him needin' ta get out more and make new friends."_

"_Why tell me, Gin?"_

"_Oh, we want ya ta play with us."_

_~G~_

"_Bya-kun, dis is Aizen-taicho!"_

"_Don't call me Bya-kun!"_

"_C'mon, loosen up! Let's play dinosaurs!"_

"_Okay!"_

_*after we get in our dino suits!*_

"_Aizen-taciho, ya can be de caveman we attack!"_

"…"

"_C'mon, Bya-kun!"_

"_RAWR!"_

"_RAWR~!"_

**END FLASHBACK**

"An' dats why he has dino suits in his tent."

_Entry 619_

_Faster den a speedin' bullet! Stronger den a locomotive! _

Ya know Superman?

I think dat Shinso is better cuz it's faster den da speed o a bullet…an' I AM a Shinigami…

So I'm better den Superman!

_Entry 620_

"RAWR!"

"…Rawr."

"C'mon Ilforte! You can be the cow that I kill!"

*vein pop!*

"I TOLD you! I'm a BULL! Cows are girls!"

"Fine, fine, than I'm the awesome bull fighter that kills you! Your name can be Del Toro." (AN: His zanpaktou name)

"…How about I'm the almighty Del Toro Grantz that has to save the maiden from the Grimmysaurous?" 

"Hey! Girls don't always have to be saved by some guy!"

"Fine, how about…the Grimmysaurous broke the Decima's leg and now she needs to get away from him, so, Del Toro has to help her escape."

"…Fine…good enough…"

"That's not fair, Ilforte! I wanna save the Decima-chan!"

"You're a dino, bro! And you can't even carry her! She'll crush you in a moment!"

*WHACK*

"HEY! I'm not THAT heavy!"

"Of course not…"

*glares*

"I know a situation that we'll all agree to."

"What?"

"How about my lil' bro, Szayel, is the scary Pinkasaurous and we both have to help the Decima-chan escape?"

"Alright! I like that idea!"

"Yeah!" *high fives* "What do you think, sis?"

"I think…we should play the one where you all don't have to save me like I'm a damsel in distress!"

"But we need to save SOMEONE! Lilinette and Rofly are arguing with Starrk and Halibel, and Szayel won't want to get saved!"

"Oh, c'mon, sis! You have a broken leg; you're the Decima, and…you'rekindacute…so you would be perfect as the 'damsel in distress'! You tried, you broke your leg, and the awesome hot guys come to save you!"

"I guess…so…who're the awesome hot guys that save me?"

"Us!"

*WHACK* "Hahaha! Awesome! I get to be saved the two hottest guys in- NO! I don't wanna be saved at all!"

"So…we'll just let you die?"

*YANK*

"NOT THE HAIR~!"

_END CHAPTER_

_Again, even though it's obvious, I DON'T OWN BLEACH! Tite Kubo is the creator and he's awesome for thinking of it^^_

Espada Romance Time: Innocent Lies _AN: I just write it…this was originally intended to be TiaxStarrk one, but…ya…_

"Tia!"

…

"Tia! Where ARE you?"

"Over here, Starrk!"

*looks around* "Where?"

*sees Tia in a giant block of ice*

"O.O Tia! You alright?"

"…"

"You're dying!"

"Starrk…"

"Not now, Lilinette!"

"I…its important…"

*hugs the ice* "I'll defrost you, Tia!"

"…the sleep must be affecting your brain…"

*ice shatters*

"TIA! NOOO! I…I JUST KILLED THE TERCERA!"

"Um…S-Starrk?"

"NOOOO! What?"

"I…R-Rofly-kun…he…I…"

"TIA! I'M SO SO SO SO SORRY!"

"Starrk! …I'mpregnantandRofly-kunisthedaddy!"

"TIA! NO- WHAT?"

"I'm soo sorry, Starrk!"

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT ROFLY!"

"STARRK!"

~R~

"ROFLY!"

"Ah! Primera-san! What's wrong?"

"YOU KNOW DAMN RIGHT WHATS WRONG!"

"NO! I DUN' KILL ME! I REALLY DUN' KNOW WHAT YER TALKIN' 'BOUT! PLEASE EXPLAIN TA ME AN' WHATEVA I DID, I'M EXTREMELY SORRY!"

"YOU GOT LILINETTE PREGNANT!"

"I DUN' EVEN KNOW HOW DAT WORKS! Please, Primera-san! I'm just an innocent lil' Arrancar!"

"WHAT? WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"I dun' know what yer talkin' 'bout…"

"STARRK!"

"What is it, Lilinette?"

"I WAS JOKING! I just wanted to see what your reaction was! AND IT WAS FREAKING HILARIOUS! AHAHAHAHAHA! You had Rofly-kun so scared he didn't laugh!"

"SCARED? I was makin' up a will in mah mind! I think ya mighta actually scared da color out o mah eyes!"

"Your eyes are white. They don't HAVE color."

"Exactly!"

"I'm gonna go find Tia…"

~after Starrk leaves~

"Why me, Lilinette-kun? I dun' even know 'bout dat stuff!"

"Cuz…"

"Cuz…?"

"Cuz…I-kinda-maybe-just-sorta-liked-you-more-than-I-planned-to!"

"…me too, kinda…"

"R-really, Rofly-kun?" *sparkley eyes in with hope!*

"Yeah, I thought you were gonna be a reeaaal pain in de neck! Ya looked like one o those snobby girls dat mean an' thought yer too underdressed…"

"Hey, but at least I don't make myself a wannabe Ichimaru Gin!"

*HEY…ah well, I like mah face! It creeps people out an' no one knows what I'm thinkin'! I trick people!*

"Eh? Nah, I frown more den he does. An' I close my eyes cuz they're creepy."

"They're not creepy! They're unique!"

"Nah, not many people liked me when I was a Gillian or Adjuchas."

"I like you, you're really nice!"

"Prove it; I've seen ya stare at me weird!"

"I-I've been staring you that cuz…"

"Cuz I look weird, I dun' mind, I like standin' out, but dun' like bein' freaky…" _(AN: Isn't Rofly-kun so…oblivious/innocent? XD)_

*Shoves/Pulls Rofly-kun inta a kiss!*

"THAT'S why I've been staring at you!"

"…"

"What?"

"…That exaplains so much more, Lilinette…"

*With Starrk*

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I KILLED TIA!"

"Starrk?"

"TIA! YOU'RE ALIVE! I'm so sorry I killed you!"

"What are you…talking about?"

"I killed you! That ice shattered!"

"Starrk?"

"You forgive me?"

"Er…sure? But that wasn't me in the ice…"

"Say what now?"

"I created an ice image…it gets useful when my fraccion are yelling…"

"I'M SO HAPPY I DIDN'T KILL YOU!"

*glomp~*

"I am too?"

_FRIEND ME ON FACEBOOK! Link on my profile~ XD_

_Please review~_

_~G. Ai Inoue_

_PS _

_Helpin' out one of my readers!  
_

_**Story Feature: **__**Making New Friends**_

_Written by AxelHarribel!_

_Dun' ferget ta review!_

_(Might as well pick one o ya random readers and feature yer stories^^ )_

_~G. Ai Inoue_


	65. Stuck in da Bag 12

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Story Feature: _**The new seguda's diary **__written by Sugarangels!_

De heck…HI AN!

_Hello Gin~ ON WITH THE CHAPTER_

Entry 621-630: Stuck in da Bag 12

_Entry 621_

Ta'day, we're getting' outta da bag!

Well, at least we're gonna TRY ta get out…

"GIN! GIN! GIN! GIN! GIN! GIN!"

"Stop screamin', Grimm-jow! Whaddya want?"

"Before we get out of the bag…can you PLEASE help me get out of this dinosaur costume? IT'S ICHY!

_Entry 622_

"Grimmjow, ya gotta listen carefully right now."

"Why?"

"Cuz do ya want dat spider ta attack ya?"

"…Yeah!"

"…an' eat ya den spit out yet bones? Ya don't wanna make Mai-chan lonely, do ya?"

"No…"

"Good, now-"

"But can it eat Ilforte than spit HIS bones out?"

_Entry 623_

"Grimmjow, Ichimaru-sama is gonna lift you up. You have to untie my hair tie from the bag, okay?"

*nods* "Okay!"

*lifts up*

"Let's see…I'm supposed ta untie the knot…um…poke that…try pullin' that…loopin' that over…uh-oh…"

"What's wrong, Grimm-jow?"

"Erm…HELP ME!"

"Grimmjow! You alright up there, bro?" 

"HELP! I TIED MYSELF INTO THE KNOT!" _AN: His hands are stuck_

"Erm…*yank* I dun' think I can pull ya down…"

"IT'S SO HIGH UP HERE! I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS!"

"Just pull your hands out really fast and jump!"

"Grrrrr NO!"

"Like a true cat…"

_Entry 624_

*shoves glasses up even though his hands are broken* "I'll try to untie it."

"How? You have broken hands, bro."

"Oh yeah…um…Ilforte-nii?"

"Whaddya need bro?"

"Cat." *glanced up*

"What?" *looks up* "That's not a cat, that's Grimmjow."

*somethin' drops on his head HARD, knockin' him out!*

"GIMME BLOTS BACK!"

"Woah…"

"What?"

"A STUFFED ANIMAL _KNOCKED OUT_ Ilforte-nii!"

Me: "Are ya…worried about him?" 

Szayel: "AH-HA-HA-HA! I'm gonna take pictures of this! He is never gonna live this down!"

Mai: "You won't live at all if you don't get him off of me."

Szayel: "But…I'm a higher rank than you…"

"ARG!"

_Entry 625_

"Ugh…what happened?"

"Blots knocked you out."

"Who's…Blots?"

"Grimmjow's stuffed animal."

"I got knocked out by a blue stripe cat?"

"Uh-huh."

"…No wonder Szayel's so ashamed…"

_Entry 626_

*yawn* I'ma getting' tired.

"ICHIMARU-SAMA! DON'T GO AND FALL ASLEEP YET! YOU NEED TO HELP US UNTIE THE BAG!" *POKE POKE POKE POKE* 

Wahh…I know how Coyote-kun feels now…

_Entry 627_

"Starrk."

"I'm tired, Lilynette…"

"Remember how I said I was pregnant and I really wasn't?" 

"Rofly didn't do anything, right?"

"No…but…if I were pregnant…wouldn't that mean you are, too? Since we're the same person an' all…"

"No, that would just be messed up!"

"But if you die, that would mean I die, so why don't you have to go through what I would have to go though?"

"Cuz I'm a guy *yawn* and you're a girl. Now, leave alone, I'm tired."

"Life is soooo unfair…"

_Entry 628_

"I miss my family!"

"Bro, I'm right here…"

"NOT YOU ILFORTE-NII! My science family! All my precious chemicals and experiments! HECK, I even miss my idiots for fraccion! But Lumina and Verona better not set my lab on fire again…"

"…I hate you too, bro."

_Entry 629_

Ima think we're doomed ta stay in de bag forever…

*cries* I'M NEVA GONNA SEE RAN-CHAN AGAIN!

All I wanted was ya celebrate one last birthday party…I dun' care if we go drunk…

TO DE SAKE! 

_Entry 630_

"Tia-chan, Coyote-kun, how's it?"

"Dammit, I feel happy. I don't know why…"

"It's the sa-ke, Tia…*hiccup* let'ss all take a nappy nap^^~ What sayz?"

"RIGHTOUS! I'll join ya, Coyote-kun!"

"Rightio! I'll just go swim with the sharks~" *flops to the floor, asleep*

*cries outta frustration* "We're never gonna get outta here! HOW CAN YOU DRINK AT A TIME LIKE THIS, BRO?"

"Ilforte-nii, it's okay. I can transform you into a snack so I won't starve. You don't have to worry about me."

"GREAT! Now I have to deal you too!"

"Don't worry, Ilforte… We'll get out of here…eventually…"

"I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS! WAHHH! GET ME DOWN!"

"Hey! Looks! The bags opening!"

"OOF!" *Grimmjow falls*

"How LONG have you been there?"

_TO BE CONTINUED! DUN DUN DUN!  
_

Espada Romance Time: Saying Goodbye

"I wish I coulda been yer prisoner fer a while longer…"

I was really sad when I had ta leave Ran-chan, Izuru, an' de rest of Seireitei…(DUN' TELL AIZEN-TAICHO DAT!) One deal dat I made wit' Aizen-taicho was dat he wouldn't hurt Ran-chan…well…dat…an' he gave me chocolate^^

"I'm sorry, Rangiku…farewell…"

De look on her face dat moment…it almost made me wanna kill Aizen-taicho and stay…de look on 'er face tore me up inside… I couldn't help, but frown.

After Fura brought us ta Las Noches, Hueco Mundo, I had ta go to a meetin'. Of course, I didn't listen. I kept thinkin' o Ran-chan. I wonder what she's thinkin' right now…

When I was in mah room, I brought out a picture o Ran-chan. We were both smilin' inta de camera dat Nemu-chan had.

**FLASHBACK**

"Ichimaru-taicho?" asked Nemu. We were outside de 10th Division an' we musta been so loud dat da 12th heard.

"Hey, Nemu! Were we being too loud? Ahh, sorry, we were just talking about how Hitsugaya-taicho is so strict! It's such a lovely day out and he said I had to work on the paperwork!" 

"Oh…"

"Ne, its neva been dis lovely out! Nemu-chan, can ya take a picture o us?" I asked. It was pretty out ta'day! Haha! De sun was shinin' there was a soft breeze comin' through, russelin' de trees softly, flowers were bright, birds an' butterflies, so pretty out!

"Oh! That's a great idea, Gin! C'mon, Nemu!"

"Hai, Rangiku-san."

*SNAP*

*FLASH*

**END FLASHBACK**

I looked at de picture. I felt horrible 'bout doin' dat ta Ran-chan… She ain't eva gonna be happy 'round me again.

Dat's why I folded de picture o us, so dat only her pretty smilin' face showed. I didn't deserve ta be wit' Ran-chan…

When I decided ta leave Seireitei fer Aizen-taicho, I knew dat sayin' good bye was gonna be hard. I almost wanted somethin' ta go wrong so I didn't have ta go through wit' it…

Sayin' goodbye is neva easy. If ya think it's gonna be hard, it is.

I wish I could say sorry ta Ran-chan again… She shouldn't forgive me, I expect her not to…

But I know dat eventually, in de Winter War, we're gonna have ta fight…

Sayin' goodbye…ain't gonna be easy…


	66. Out of da Bag 13

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

WE'RE GETTIN' OUTTA DA BAG!

_Story Feature: __**OHSHC Continued **__By NinjaCats! (this fic is for those of you who like Ouran High School Host Club. It's Haruhi's Diary!)_

Entry 631-649: Out o da Bag 13

_Entry 631_

"How LONG have you been out there?"

"Since about…Stuck in the Bag 6…"

"WHAT? You mean ya coulda set us free dat long ago? Why choose now?"

"Because the bag was getting annoying."

"WHY DIDN'T YA OPEN IT WHEN YA GOT BACK?"

"Because…it was trash… and I liked the peace and quiet…"

"Ev'rythin's trash ta ya, Ulquiorra."

"Not EVERYTHING."

"What's not trash ta ya?"

"Aizen-sama…and Dracula."

_Entry 632_

"This bag is…huge…"

"AHHHHH!"

"ILFORTE-NII!"

"Hey, look! Szayel and Grimmjow aren't kids anymore!"

"Erm…why are we still in dinosaur costumes?"

"Che, I'm a smexy BEAST!"

"…And I look stupid…"

"Yeah, you do, bro."

"RAWR!"

_Entry 633_

Ne, Diary-kun, we gotta go to a meetin'…

"AHHH! TIE THE BAG! TIE THE BAG!"

*Ulqui-orra ties de bag*

"That spider was freakin' HUGE!"

"May I have the bag and the spider in it for experimental purposes?"

"…I feel sorry for the spider…"

"And de bag…"

_Entry 634_

"Is everyone out of the bag?"

"Uh-uh."

"Except the Shinigami Daiko and his friends."

"…"

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Szayel…have Lumina and Verona take the bag and throw away the trash."

"Nice, Ulquiorra."

"TO DE MEETIN'!"

"BOO!"

"OOB!"

"Shut up, Nnoitra!"

_Entry 635_

"Welcome, my dear Espada. Let us have some tea."

"WE DON'T WANT THE TEA! Who the heck lets a blind man and a drooler make the tea?"

"Where IS Wonderwiece anyways…?"

"Er…he's…somewhere with a reader."

"I see…well, I don't…but…what's a reader?"

"We're not exactly sure."

"My poor Wonderwiece! WHAT HAVE YOU READER DONE TO HIM?"

…How much crazier can Wonderwice get? He's already crazy 'nough…

_Entry 636_

"I'm soo tired…" 

"You sound like Starrk."

"Shut-up, Grim…"

"…Szayel…Did she just call me Grim?"

"No, she fell asleep halfway while saying your name."

_Entry 637_

"Ne, Aizen-taicho?"

"Yes, Gin?"

"Why do me an' Tousen-san gotta stand? De rest o de Espada get ta sit down…"

"Because…no one likes you two."

"Dat ain't de reason is it?"

*sigh* "No, it isn't. Really, I didn't want to spend money on two chairs that were better than the Espada's and worse than mine. My chair was just more important."

_Entry 638_

SO BORIN' IN A MEETIN'.

AN' LITERALLY HALF DE ESPADA ARE SLEEPIN'

Like Starrk, Barragan, Grimmjow, Szayel, an' Mai-chan.

De rest ain't payin' attention… Well, 'cept fer Tia-chan, Ulquiorra, an' Zommari. Well, only half…Tia looks like she's exausted…an' Zommari… an' Ulquiorra's either shuttin' his eyes, or takin' a quick nap…

Hehehe…I'll wake 'em up!

"AIZEN-TAICHO! YER ON FIRE!"

O course, ev'ryone did different things ta 'take out de fire'

Mai: "CERO!"

Aaroniero: *uses his fire extinguisher, which I dun' know WHY he had one on his person*

Szayel: *threw a bucket o water he had fer his experiment*

Zommari: "AIZEN-SAMA! AIZEN-SAMA! AIZEN-SAMA! AIZEN-SAMA! AIZEN-SAMA! AIZEN-SAMA! AIZEN-SAMA!"

Grimmjow: "CERO!"

Nnotira: "CEWO!" *since he gotta stick his tongue out*

Ulquiorra: "Cero."

Tia: "Ola Azul!"

Barragan: "Respira."

Starrk: *yawn* "Cero."

Tousen: "WHERE? WHERE? WHAT FIRE? Wait… I'm blind; Tch, I'll just let the Espada handle it."

_Entry 639_

"Ne, Tia-chan!"

"What do you need, Gin?"

"Nottin', but ya know what we got in common?"

"…we both work for Aizen-sama?"

"Well, ya I guess, but somethin' else."

"…What…?"

"We're both de number three! Yer Espada Tres an' I used ta be de cap'n of the Third Division!"

"…"

"…"

"Oh, hiya, Ulqui-orra!"

"Ulquiorra?"

"Yes, Tia?"

"Would you like to switch ranks with me?"

_Entry 640_

I noticed dat Ulquiorra looked a bit…nervous?

"OI~~~!"

"Gin?"

"Aizen-taicho!"

"Yes, Gin?"

"Don't de Espada eva need a potty break?"

Ulqui-orra looked embarrassed!

"Erm…no one ever asked…"

"Ulqui-orra needs ta go!"

"…What…?"

"Ulqui-orra needs ta go use de potty!"

"Yeah right. Let us continue the meeting."

Oh, lookie, Ulqui-orra looks ultra nervous now!

_Entry 641_

"My dear Espada."

"Hai, Aizen-sama?"

"One, arigato for making my change my clothes *COUGH*GIN!*COUGH* while trying to take out that fire…"

"Your welcome, Aizen-sama."

"Now, let's play a game!"

"…"

"We're going to see who dominates in rock paper scissors!"

"Okay…"

*Ev'ryone starts playin' da game wit' de person sittin' across from dem*

"Aizen-taicho, where are ya goin'?"

"Toliet."

_Entry 642_

_Sup, Gin._

Yo, AN!

_How're ya?_

Can't complain.

_So…_

Ya…

_Nice weather…_

Yup…how's…where ever ya live?

_It's okay._

Ah…

_Interesting conversation we're having…_

Oh ya…

…

…

_Well, bye now. I see you're still in a meeting._

Yup, it's boring.

_*disappears*_

Never was really dere in de first place…

_Entry 643_

"My dear Espada, there is another Project Secret coming up. Project Secret part 2, even though it doesn't really have anything much to do with the first one."

"Hai, Aizen-sama, now, Gin, tell everyone what it will be called."

"Hai^^ The secret shall be called Project We Ain't Tellin' Anyone Especially Nnoitra Cuz He'll Tell Ev'ryone And The Secret Won't Be A Secret And Grimmjow Will Run All Over Las Noches In Happy Go Lucky Mode While Ulquiorra Stands There Going All Trash Trash And This Will All Be Gin's Fault Because Only Kaname Gin and The Great Sosuke Aizen Know This And Gin Will Most Likely Be The One To Tell Everyone."

"HEY! I'm not some stupid gossip girl!"

"…Ya, ya are."

"Che, I'm NEVER Happy Go Lucky!"

"…What does it mean when it says that I'll be standing there going all Trash trash?"

"An' WHY do ya think it'll be my fault?"

"You can all continue arguing or I can tell you a short way to call the project. Saying that is going to take about a few hours of our time."

"…Hai, Aizen-sama…"

"Project We Aren't Telling Anyone Especially Nnoitra Cuz He'll Tell Everyone And The Secret Won't Be A Secret And Grimmjow Will Run All Over Las Noches In Happy Go Lucky Mode While Ulquiorra Stands There Going All Trash Trash And This Will All Be Gin's Fault Because Only Kaname Gin and The Great Sosuke Aizen Know This And Gin Will Most Likely Be The One To Tell Everyone can also be known as Project ."

*snores*

*yawn* "Oi…Oi, Espada-kun's, he FINALLY finished sayin' it! YER ALL DISMISSED!"

"WOO-HOO!"

"Thank God of Hueco Mundo, which is me!"

"Finally…"

"…Trash…"

"Spoon collection and soup, here I come!"

"CAT NIP TIME!"

"…Pumpkins…ooommmm…"

"Lumina and Verona are going to help me find out Project ."

"SHUT UP! **YOU SHUT UP! I'M TIRED!"**

"*yawn* I'm the only sane one, aren't I?"

_Entry 644_

Pandas are PWNAGE.

Why?

Cuz they're the least racist animals! 

Dey're Black, White, AND Asian!

And dey eat bamboo, which I look awesome when standin' in front of! _(AN: XD Chapter 414 cover)_

Plus, dey're so kawaii~!

_Entry 645_

"GRIMM-JOW~~~!"

"What the hell…? Are you on crack?"

"Nope, I'm on CAT NIP!"

"…SHUT UP…"

"NO~!^^"

_Entry 646_

A-ah, I haven't seen Mai-chan's fraccion in a while!

Oh, lookie! There's Hana-chan!

"SMILEY-CHAN~!"

"Hana-chan!"

"Where have you been~? We all missed you!"

"In an indestructible giant bag fer de last 13 chapters…"

"Hahaha! Yeah right! Aizen-sama could've just blasted it with his reiatsu!"

…Oh, if only she were dere…

_Entry 647_

"AHHHH!"

"Erm…is Mai-chan alright?"

"Hai, Cifer-sama is just happy."

"Yup! Mai-chan's really really happy for sure!"

"Yeah…she's happy cuz they finished the Decima HeadQuarters finally. So she doesn't have to stay at Grimmjow's anymore."

"Ne, Kiatcero-kun, Hana-chan, Leola, do ya stay at de place too?"

"Uh-huh."

"YUP! I got an AWESOME bouncy bed! And I'm gonna get tons of pillows everywhere so I don't hurt myself!"

"Only you Hana…"

"Dat sounds GREAT! Mind if I come over sometimes ta bounce?"

"SURE!"

_Entry 648_

Aizen-taicho requested a private meetin'…

WHY DO I GOTTA BE 'ERE?

"Roflmao Unter."

"'ERE! Hahahaha^^ Hiya, Aizen-sama!"

"Sure, sure, Wonderwiece Margera?"

"Haooo!"

"Stop trying to sound like Wonderwiece, Roflmao, he isn't here."

"Ya, haha, can't say I didn't try^^"

"Okay, so, as you know, I called you to a private meeting."

"In the Briefin' Room too! I feel like an ESPADA! Hehehe^^"

"Thank you for you enthusiasm, Roflmao, but please-" 

"Please, Hahaha, call me Rofly!"

"ROFLY, please, shut up. I need to tell you something."

"Ya already did."

"What?"

"Ya told me SOMETHIN'."

"Rofly-kun-"

"HAHAHAHAHA! I laugh sooo randomly sometimes!"

"…" 

"Would ya like me ta tell 'im, Aizen-taicho?"

"YES. It's like you can't get through to the kid!"

"PLEASE DUN' STOP DA MUSIC! MUSIC! I JUST CAN'T REFUSE IT!"

"…Dat's one heck o a random kid…"

_Entry 649_

"ILFORTE-SAN! GIN-SAMA! GRIMMJOW! LILINETTE-KUN! LEOLA-SAN! HANA-CHAN! KIATCERO-KUN! GUESS WHAT?"

_(AN: I bet NONE of you, saw this coming! HAHAHA!)_

"You seem happy, Rofly-kun!"

"O course I am!"

"Why?" 

"Cuz yer talkin' ta Roflmao Unter, Decima Espada!"

"WHAT?" 

"YUP! Aizen-sama promoted me! Well, along with Wonderwiece ta be de Decima wit' me, but he ain't here right now."

"NO! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MAI?"

"I heard dat Aizen-sama ordered Ulquiorra-san ta remove her number…"

"!"

"NO!"

_TO BE CONTINUED!  
_

_I bet NONE of you so that coming! XD_

_And there's Project . TBC!_

_I'll tell ya in Ultra Secret Secret fer this out of one of you readers^^ So far, Ninja-chan is the only one I plan on telling…_

_BUT REVIEW AND YOU HAVE A CHANCE! If you're an anonymous reviewer, than YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO KNOW! Only if you have a facebook._

_Oh yeah…_

Espada Roman-**F*** NO! THIS AIN'T ROMANCE TIME! I know which one you're doing and it ain't EVER gonnna be a romance, bro! This is just a family moment! GOT THAT?**

Ne, ne, fine, fine, Ilforte.

Espada Brotherly Moment: Brotherly Love

**Better.**

An'ways, dis was back when Ilforte an' Zaeru were lil' kids. It's de story o why Szayel hates Ilforte.

**FLASHBACK**

"Shut up, Di-Roy! It's obvious that you're the weakest!"

"Whatever you're fighting about, I'm the perfect being, Ilforte-nii!"

"Bro, you're a pervert! What kinda name is Forncaras?"

"I dunno, you just can't accept the fact that this is what it takes to be perfect!"

"Your zanpaktou has blue balls…"

"ARG! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT THESE BLUE BALLS CAN DO!"

"…"

*angry*

"_Susure_…:D

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

"ARRRG!"

_(AN: I'm gonna eventually someday write some kinda mini comic about that XD)_

**ANOTEHR FLASHBACK**

*holds up a beaker with an orange liquid in it* "I think there is something in here…"

"Of course, brother! There's that orange stuff!"

"NO! I meant I think there's something IN the liquid that made Grimmjow throw up that weird stuff the other day!"

"…I'M TELLING GRIMMJOW!"

"NOOOO!"

**ANOTHER FLASHBACK (Dis one is Szayel's, back when dey still traveled ta'gether as hollows)**

"ONII-CHAN!"

"Bro!"

"Lookie! I killed a hollow! And he was bigger than me!"

"EVERYONE is bigger than you, bro. Even that girl hollow that was about 50 years younger!"

"WAHH! MEANIE!"

"Stop crying, pinky."

"WAHHH! YOU'RE MEAN, ONII-CHAN!"

"SHUT UP! Those hollows are starting to stare at us!"

"What if your name?"

"Ilforte Grantz, who're you?"

"Shawlong. You seem strong, join us!"

"Alright, bro! SEE YA SZAYEL!"

"DON'T LEAVE ME!"

"BAI BAI~!"

**END FLASHBACKS**

Bro, that was like the best day of my life!  


_I ALMOST GOT KILLED BARELY A SECOND AFTER YOU LEFT!  
_

I feel de brotherly love…


	67. I'm a Ninja

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Poor Mai-chan… But congrats ta Rofly-kun!

_Story Feature: __**69 Minutes to Death by **__Dr. _

Entry 650-660: I'm a Ninja

_Entry 650_

"OH NO!"

"I feel the same way, Ichimaru, I CAN'T BELIEVE MAI GOT HER NUMBER REMOVED!"

"Not that! A piano from nowhere is 'bout ta fall on Tousen-san!"

"NEVER FEAR! SUPER NINJA SUPER AIZEN IS HERE!"

"Oh dear Kami-sama, NO! YA AIN'T A NINJA!"

"YES! SUPER NINJA SUPER AIZEN HAS COME TO SAVE THE DAY SO THE CHILDREN CAN HAPPILY AND SAFELY PLAY!"

"Dat rhymed~! BUT YA STILL AIN'T A NINJA!"

_Entry 651_

Project We Aren't Telling Anyone Especially Nnoitra Cuz He'll Tell Everyone And The Secret Won't Be A Secret And Grimmjow Will Run All Over Las Noches In Happy Go Lucky Mode While Ulquiorra Stands There Going All Trash Trash And This Will All Be Gin's Fault Because Only Kaname Gin and The Great Sosuke Aizen Know This And Gin Will Most Likely Be The One To Tell Everyone can also be known as ProjectW A TA E N C H T E A T S W B A S A G W R L O L N I H G L MW U S T G A T T A T W A B G F B O K G A T G S A K T A G W M L B T O T T E.

I'm sure dat took 'bout five hours o yer time.

Exactly five hours, nice timing, Gin.

Thank ya, Ulqui-orra!

_Entry 652_

"MAI!"

"…Hey, Grimmjow…"

"Are you alright?"

*a little bit too over dramatic siiiigh* "Yeah…I guess…"

"I know how much it hurts to get your number removed, I got mine removed a while ago."

"…"

"Aw, cheer up, Mai!"

"Why? I'd love to cheer up right now, Grimmjow, but I'm not the Decima anymore…I'm replaced with-"

"Hiya! Hahaha! DECIMA ESPADA! ROFLY UNTER HERE!"

"HIM!"

"…Bad timing, Rofl, bad timing."

_Entry 653_

"Ne, Mai-chan, now dat yaa ain't an Epsada an'more-"

*cries animatedly* "I'm not an Espada anymore! Wah…this sucks…"

"Erm…who's fraccion would ya be?"

"I don't like Yammy…I don't really want to be stuck in the same room as Grimmjow…You're not sane enough…"

"Ya can share a room wit' Ilforte."

"But I heard he shares a room with Di-Roy. Di-Roy is kinda…creepy…"

"Ne, but ya could share a BED wit' him!"

"…*blush~* If you weren't a commander, I'd slap you."

"Aizen doesn't care about him as long as you don't kill him."

"…Shut UP, Grimm-jow!"

"NO~!" 

"GET BACK HERE ICHIMARU GIN!"

_Entry 654_

"Cheer up, Mai!"

"How can I, Ilforte? I lost my rank, my chest is killing me _(AN: Not THERE but kinda under her neck-_- is where her tattoo was)_, and I was replaced by a guy who laughs for no reason."

"Hahaha! Hiya, Ilforte-san! Mai-san!"

"Hello…Rolfy-kun…"

"Look at de 10 tattoo on my face!"

"That's…nice…"

"Ya! It stung a bit when I got it."

*mutters* "It hurt a ton when mine was removed…"

"I'm an AWESOME Decima!"

"Don't have to rub it in…"

"ROFLY."

"Dat's my name!"

"SHUT UP! Stop rubbing it in Mai's face that you're the new Decima!"

"But I am da new Decima!"

"Dat kid really is hard ta get through. He didn't realize he was gonna be the Decima till he got da tattoo."

"Ya…"

**ROFLY'S FLASHBACK**

"HAHAHA! An' den I ATE DA SANDWICH! WAHAHAHAHA!"

"Roflmao-kun."

"I know! It's sooo funny, Aizen-sama!"

"Ah, Rofly-kun, if you were to get a tattoo where would it be?"

"Mah left cheek!"

"…Why?"

"I dunno… HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Okay…"

*a bit later*

"OW! HEY! WHADDYA DOIN'?"

"You are getting your Decima tattoo."

"Wait…why?"

"…"

"OHHHHHHHHHHHH! OOUUCCCHHH!"

_Entry 655_

A-ah, ya, we're gonna take Wonderwiece back now!

Sorry~ *takes Wonderwiece back*

"HAOOOOO!"

"Yer de new Decima 'long wit' Rofly-kun."

"Ahhhhooo…."

"Ya gotta get yer tattoo."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!"

_Entry 656_

"I'm a ninja."

"No you aren't trash."

"DID YOU SEE ME DO THAT?"

"Do what?"

"Exactly."

_Entry 657_

"Grimmjow."

"Hey, Starrk!"

"Ulquiorra told me you were a ninja." *yawn*

"Yup."

"I'm a ninja."

"How? You're so lazy that-OUCH!"

"Did you see me send that cero?"

"NO! OW! HOLY BLOTS THAT HURTS!"

"Exactly." *yawn*

_Entry 658_

"I'M A NINJA!"

"Yammy, you are NOT a ninja. You're not in the Espada and are definitely too large to move quickly and quietly."

"DID YOU SEE ME DO THAT?"

"…You just moved you hand in front of your face and made a stupid expression."

"EXACTLY!"

"…You make no sense, trash."

_Entry 659_

"Ichimaru, I am a ninja!"

"Good fer ya…"

"You're supposed to say no you're not! Geez, you people never give me anything!"

"Dat's cuz we love ta mess wit' yer head, Aporro."

_Entry 660_

I'M da ULTIMATE NINJA! 

How, trash?

I got camera ta spy on ev'ryone~

…

AN' I CAN DO DA NINJA STARE!

What the heck…?

"O! M! G! G~! YA CAN'T SEE ME~ ME~~~! I'M LIKE A BIRD OR AM I A PINE TREE, TREE~~~? YA CAN'T SEE ME CUZ I'M A NINJA~! NINJA~! NINJA~!"

_End chapter~_

_XD I'M A NINJA!  
_

~ERT~ (Friendship/partners in crime today XD)

Ninja Pies

"I'm a Ninja Shark!"

"I'm a Ninja Wolf." *yawn*

"Ola Azul!"

"Cero."

"You're too lazy to be a ninja, Starrk."

"Did you see me that time?"

"Where'd you get that pie?" 

*smashes it in Tia's face* "The kitchen." *yawn*

"STARRK! Fine, did you see my do that?"

*drenched in pie* "…Now I did…*yawn*brings a pie from somewhere and throws it at Tia*

"I'll get you for that." *sprints inta action, but looks like action made her slip on some pie*

"STARRK!"

*lands on top of Starrk~*

"Nice going for a Ninja pie."

"What?"

"A ninja pie. We're covered in pie and we're both ninja's."

"I got an idea…" 

~Later on at the Espada Meeting~

"HA-HA-HA-HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA! Like I'd believe dat!"

"Hehehe, I agree with Roflmao, Szayel."

"But I swear, Aizen-sama! There were two giant pies running around and messing my lab! My fraccion were too afraid to do anything!"

"That is hilarious, Zaeruaporro, but even though it is amusing, please save it for sharing time."

~Later~ 

*HIGH FIVE~*

"Yeah, we're the most badass Ninja Pies ever!"

*yawn* "We're unstoppable!"


	68. Two Houses

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary

We're gonna cheer up Mai-chan ta'day!

Entry 661-670: Two Houses _(AN: Crappy name eh? XD)_

_Entry 661_

"Mai-chan, let's go ta the World o the Livin'! We haven't been ta that time share place in a while! It'll be a fun trip!"

"Sure…who else is coming with…?"

"WHO WANTS TA COME WIT' US?"

"Ichimaru-sama, it's most likely only the people who can actually stand you…"

"I'LL COME!"

"As Grimmjow's fraccion, I'll come too."

*sigh* "I guess I shall come along, trash."

"Ah, Gin, are you going to the Living World?"

"Ya…"

"Starrk you go along."

"Why? *yawn* "A commander's already going…why do I have to *yawn* go?"

"Because I said so."

'Because I said so' is Aizen-taicho's most used piece o logic.

_Entry 662_

"STARRK! I HAVE to come with you!"

"But there isn't enough *yawn* room, Lilinette…"

Looks like Lilinette wants ta go…

"I should get to go Starrk! You're so lazy that you don't even pack your own underwear!"

"HEY! You can pack whatever you want, but don't touch my underwe-"

"Sicko, I'm REMINDING you!"

Let's go see what de others are doin'…

"ILFORTE! WHY? WHY? WHY! Are you going?"

"As your loyal fraccion, I'm coming with you."

"You're just trying to spend more time with Mai, aren't you?"

"Hm, good idea, Grimmjow!"

"ARG!"

…Let's go see what Ulqui-orra's doin'…

"URUKIORA!"

"Yammy, shut up." 

"But I wanna go to the Living World with you!"

"No, you'll most likely eat all of us for a midnight snack, trash. It's bad enough that I have to have a fraccion…"

"BUT I WANNA GO WITH YOU!"

"Shut up, Yammy!"

"PLEASE?"

"Cero."

I think I should go see what Mai-chan's doin'…

"I hope you have a good time, Cifer-sama!"

"Mai-chan, you're SOOO lucky! Everyone's taking you to the Living World! I wish I could come with you sooooo much!"

"Ilforte-nii is so lucky he gets to go! I wanna go! I never get to see Ilforte-nii and you just got back from that giant bag!"

"I wish you guys could come too…but there isn't enough room. But I'll try to have fun; on the bright side, my broken leg is healed!"

"Oi! Mai-chan! Yer fraccion can come too if ya want 'em to! We're gettin' another house dat ya three can stay in! Pet-sama, Ulqui-orra, Grimmjow, Starrk, Lilinette, an' me are gonna stay in one, while you, Kiatcero-kun, Hana-chan, Leola-chan, Ilforte-kun, Rofly-kun, an' Yammy are gonna stay in de other house!"

"We…"

"Have…."

"To share…"

"WITH YAMMY? Oh, getting kicked out of the Espada SUCK!"

"Life sucks! But it paid off fer em! I'm de Decima now! Ain't ya happy fer me?"

"…Bad, BAD timing, Rofly…"

_Entry 663_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

*An hour later*

"Ichimaru-sama! WHY did YOU have to run the Garganta?"

"I'm de highest rankin' out o all o us! Now ev'ryone get wit' yer house buddies!"

"I call de master bedroom cuz I'm de only Espada in dis group!"

"…Bad timing, Rofly…"

_Entry 664_

"I'll share a room with Lilinette."

"…I'll have my own room…"

"Ya can't do dat, Ulqui-orra! Ya can share wit' pet-sama!"

"EH? But I'm-he-I-room-bed?"

"Starrk an' Lilinette are gettin' the room wit' one bed. Unless ya want it den-"

"NO! I'M PERFECTLY FINE WITH IT!"

"Grimm-jow, looks like we're sharin'!"

"I thought Mai was gonna stay in this house! I thought I had to share with Ilforte at worst! I thought I was gonna see Mai every morning! I thought I wouldn't have to share you out of all people!"

"Well, dis ain't what you think now, is it?"

_Entry 665_

"Oi, Grimm-jow, whaddya wanna do ta'night?"

"Go and see what the others are doing?"

"Dat DOESN'T involves Mai-chan."

"Oh, than eat cat nip."

"…Guys Night Out it is!"

_Entry 666_

**WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ENTRY 666! THAT'S MY NUMBER!**

Oi, Grimm-jow! Whaddya doin', writin' in Diary-kun?

**I'M SO HAPPY THAT I'LL GO AND VISIT ILFORTE!  
**

"WAIT GRIMM-JOW! GET BACK HERE WITH DIARY-KUN!"

_Entry 667_

**Wow, the other house is pretty big!**

"Alrighty! As the highest ranking here, I get the master bedroom! Hana, you share with Leo-"

"No offence, Hana, but I am NOT sharing a room with you."

"…There's four bedrooms an' seven o us. I de master one, Yammy can have de trashy one, ya three ex-fraccion can take de attic, Mai an' Ilforte'll share de last one."

Ne, ne, Grimm-jow, ya must be jealous.

…"**ILFORTE!"**

"Yes, Grimmjow?"

"I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Sorry, Szayel said that first, so you'll have to be put on hold."

"DAMN HIM!"

_Entry 668_

Grimm-jow ain't lettin' me back in our room…

Now I gotta sleep on de couch….

…Now I also know what it feels like ta be a husband dat screwed up…

_Entry 669_

*Ring~ Ring~ Ring~*

"Hiya, Ichimaru residents here!"

"Oi, Gin-sama! Leola-chan an' I wanna play truth or dare!"

"…Den play truth or dare…"

"No, no, no! We want you guys to play WITH us! Come over now! We're all gonna play!"

"But-"

"ALRIGHT! Let's go! OI! ULQUIORRA! ROUND EVERYONE UP! WE'RE GOING OVER TO THE OTHER HOUSE!"

"…We'll be right dere…just…get de net, Grimm-jow's over excited…"

_Entry 670_

Dis is quite a nice walk ta de neighbors^^

Letsee…

Me, Ichimaru Gin, Grimm-jow, Ulqui-orra, Pet-sama, Starrk, Lilinette, Rofly-kun, Yammy, Leola-chan, Hana-chan, Kiatcero-kun, Mai-chan, an' Ilforte-kun are all playin' truth or dare!

Dare who ya want!

_END CHAPTER_

_Truth or Dare the THIRD!_

Espada Romance Time: Tangled Trash

"Ulquiorra-san! Please~? I love looking at the stars at night so can I please~ have the bed closer to the window?"

"No."

"Why~?"

"Incase I need to make my escape."

"From what? A fire?"

"No. From you."

"Ulquiorra-san! I'm not that bad! I'll make you some of my red bean cake so cheer you up!"

"Ugh…no, trash."

"C'mon! Please? It'll make you smile! Everyone loves my food!"

"No, I don't smile. Smiling is trash."

"I'll…uh…TICKLE YOU!"

"…"

*tickle tickle tickle*

"Onna, stop it, it's annoying."

"Ku-chi-ku-chi-coo!"

"…What kind of trashy noises are you making trash?"

*trips* "WAHH! Ulquiorra-san!"

"Oof!" _(AN: OMFG He made a reaction to being tripped! XD)_

"Owiee…I hit my head…"

"On my helmet. Remove yourself from me, trash."

*Blush* "I-I can't…y-your horn…is tangled in my hair…"

"Chikuso, it won't untangle!"

"Oi, Ulquiorra, we're gonna go play truth or da- HOLY BLOTS!"

"This is not what it looks like trash."

"Next time you're gonna use pet-sama, put a sock on the doorknob or something!"

"Shut up, Grimmjow."

*Grimmjow leaves*

"Looks like we'll have to share a bed at night."

"E-eh, Ulquiorra-san!"

"Be quiet trash. Sharing is trashy enough as it is."

"N-no…I was about to say-"

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet?"

"No! I was gonna say that Gin-san could-"

"Urusai, no one cares about Gin."

*outside de door*

"Ne, ne, Grimmjow, Ulqui-orra just don't wanna get away from Pet-sama!"

"What makes ya say that, Gin?"

"He ain't suggestin' dat I could untangle it fer dem. I'm a MASTER at untanglin' stuff!"

"…"

"An' Ulqui-orra needs ta get laid. Big time."

"For sure. Hey, I'm gonna go and embarrass him."

*In the room*

"Ulquiorra-san!"

"Hey, Onna!"

"Go away, Grimmjow."

"Okay, UGLY-WHORE-A!"

"SHUT UP."

_The End_


	69. Truth or Dare the Third

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary

We're playin' truth or dare!

Entry 671-680: Truth or Dare the Third!

_Entry 671_

"Alrighty! As de highest rankin' one 'ere, I'll go first!"

"…"

"Grimm-jow!"

"Yeah?"

"Truth or dare?"

"…hm…DARE!"

"I dare ya ta kiss Ulqui-orra." _(AN: I made a typo at first. It said kill instead of kill XD)_

"NO!"

"Trash, I won't let him."

"Oi, Grimmjow?"

"Yeah, Mai?"

*wit' my help, shoves Grimm-jow inta Ulqui-orra an' force 'em ta kiss!*

"I swear I'll kill you, Ichimaru!"

"I too, Gin."

"Ya two'll try~"

"Shut up, it's my turn."

_Entry 672_

"Can I dare Halibel?"

"Only if she agrees from Las Noches^^"

*calls Tia-chan's cell*

"Hello?"

"Yo, Halibel! It's Grimmjow! We're playing truth or dare, wanna come down and join us?"

"Can't. Aizen-sama took Tousen, Barragan, and Starrk to China so I'm in charge."

"Oh…can you join us over the phone?"

"…"

"Truth or dare?"

"I still have more game…dare."

"I dare you to kiss Nnoitra!"

"I'll get Sun-Sun to record over the phone…"

*while we're waitin' fer Tia-chan ta find Nnoitra*

"Ne, she didn't complain, Grimm-jow! She got more game!"

"Hey! I had harder dares!"

"Shush, Harribel-sama found Nnotira!"

"Nnoitra!"

"Huh? Oh, Tia! Wanna fight?"

*rough kiss!*

"OW! WHAT THE FU-"

"Bye, bye, Nnoitra."

"I THINK YOU BROKE MY JAW! HOLY SHI* THAT HURTS!"

*camera sonido's ta Tia's place*

"Is dat REALLY a kiss, Tia-chan?"

"Yes, but I have my remains there, so it hurts him more than it hurts me."

"Dammit!"

"Ha-ha, in your face Jaegerjaquez."

_Entry 673_

"Tia-chan, yer turn!"

"Ulquiorra, I dare you to kiss Yammy."

"Wait, you have to ask if I want a truth or da-"

"I'm in a hurry, and I'm a higher rank and…"

"Can boss me around…"

"…"

"…"

"Hurry up, I don't have all day." 

*mumbles somethin' along de lines o "If she saw my Segunda Etapa, I'd be a higher rank and boss HER around…"*

*kisses Yammy*

"Urukiora! Why'd you just kiss me? You love me don't you?"

"Yammy, we're playing truth or dare."

"SO?"

"Haven't you been paying attention? Tia dared me to kiss you, trash."

"Ohhh!"

_Entry 674_

"_Onna."_

"H-hai, Ulquiorra-san?"

"Truth or dare…?"

"Truth!"

"Do you 'love' Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"A~ah, Ulquiorra, de term is 'Do ya like him?' Haha, let's here de answer, Pet-sama!"

"W-what? Kurosaki-kun? Of course I like him! I like everyone! Kurosaki-kun, Kuchiki-san, Ishida-kun, Sado-kun, Tatsuki-chan, Rangiku-sa-"

"No, liking someone as in…Gin, what is the term?"

"Hahaha, a crush on 'em."

"E-eh, no!" *blush*

Ev'ryone: "Yeah right."

"No ever believes me on that!"

Ev'ryone again: "Because you're lying."

"No, I'm not!"

Ev'ryone AGAIN: "…Liar…"

_Entry 675_

"U-um…"

"Hurry up, onna, we ain't patient."

"Grimmjow-san, truth or dare?"

"Why me again?"

"Cuz, Grimm-jow, just cuz."

"Truth…"

"If you had to be gay for Ulquiorra-san or Kurosaki-kun, who would it be?"

"Hm…"

"…"

"Dis oughtta be interestin'."

"The only thing that I like about Ulquiorra is…nothing. And if he was a lower rank, he's too emo so I wouldn't know him. Kurosaki…hm…if he was an Arrancar and a lower rank, he'd be my fraccion! So…Kurosaki."

"Okay! If you let me go, I'll go find Kurosaki-kun and set up a date! I know that he'll agree if I just set it up right…"

"NO! Are you CRAZY, onna?"

"No…but I think some people think so…"

_Entry 676_

"Yammy, truth or dare?"

"TRUTH!"

"What a wuss…"

"I AM NOT A WUSS! I JUST WANNA TRUTH!"

"Whatever. Are you jealous of Mai?"

"Yeah! A buncha people like her and she's hot!"

"…I meant about her taking your rank and all…"

"Oh…than…yeah, kinda…"

"My life sucks."

"Why do ya think dat, Mai-chan?"

"My number was removed, Yammy thinks I'm hot, I can't sleep at night because of how loud Rofly laughs, and Yammy tried to 'accidentally walk in on me changing'."

"Wow…that would suck…"

"Shut up, Grimm-jow."

_Entry 677_

"Ichimaru!"

"Ya, Yam-Yam?"

"WHY DO YOU CALL ME YAM YAM?"

"Is dat the truth question?"

"NO!"

"Cuz it sounds like Yum-Yum and ya like ta eat like a pig."

"I DARE YOU TO BURN ALL THE PLUSHIES!"

"In dis house?"

"IN BOTH!" 

"Bai bai plushies~!"

"NO! YAMMY YOU IDIOT!"

*Yammy gets ABOUT 13 ceros to the head*

_Entry 678_

"I dare Mai-chan, Ulquiorra, Pet-sama, Starrk, Lilynette, Rofly-kun, Leola-chan, Kiatcero-kun, Hana-chan, and Ilforte ta be locked in a room. Wit' a cat nip high Grimmjow!"

"WHAT? That's everyone!"

"Nuh-uh! I can't dare Yam-Yam, I won't dare myself, an' Grimm-jow has ta be on catnip!"

"NOOO!" 

*after ev'rythin' is set up*

"AHHHHH! GRIMMJOW, GET OFF OF ME!"

"Grrrr…RAWR!"

"ILFORTE! GET THE CAT OFF OF ME!"

"RAWR!"

"BRO, GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! OUCH! HOLY SHI*!" 

"Ilforte!"

"AHH! SHI********! Y-you cracked my helmet!"

"RAWR!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHHA! Mr. Jaegerjaquez, yer hilarious!"

"What are you, Rofly, American?"

"Ya! HAHA!"

"…"

"HOLY SHI*! Get away from me you stupid cat! Go bother Ilforte-nii!"

"I WANNA SLEEP! I'M TIRED! GET AWAY FROM ME GRIMMJOW OR I SWEAR I'LL MAKE YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN."

"Purrrr…"

"C'MON GRIMMJOW! Let's play tag!"

"Lilynette…?" 

"He's so fun! Can we keep him, Starrk? Please~?"

"You two aren't gonna bother me, right?"

"No."

"Than fine."

"YES! C'MOM GRIMMY! TAG~ You're it!"

*sighs o relief is heard*

"Thank Kami-sama for Lilynette…"

_Entry 679_

"Ichimaru, I swear if I wasn't so tired, I'd beat you to a bloody pulp."

"A~ah, don't be in such a cranky mood, Coyote-kun! Mai-chan, it's your turn!"

"Primera-san, truth or dare?"

*yawn* "Truth…"

"I dare you to let Lilynette-san go on a date with Rofly."

"Wait, but I said tru-"

"Ichimaru-sama said he wouldn't burn my plushie if I dared you."

"But-"

"He burned yours if you're wondering."

"CRAP."

"C'mon, Coyote-kun, hurry up!"

"Fine…Lilynette, I give you my blessing or whatever crap to go on a date with Rofly…"

"THANK YOU STARRK! THANKS MAI!"

"Eh?"

"ROFLY-KUN~!"

"Ya?" 

"…Wanna…goutwithmesometimes?"

"Sure? Let's go get ice cream!"

"Okay!"

*after dey leave*

"Wait…why should I be worried? Rofly is so innocent he wouldn't even think of trying anything!"

"Ya should be worried cuz o Lilynette."

"OH CRAP!"

_Entry 680_

"Grimmjow."

"WHY ME AGAIN?"

"Everyone loves screwing with you."

"…"

"Truth or dare."

*Ring~ Ring~*

"Wait a minute, hello?"

"Hey, Grimmjow, I'm done with my paperwork so I decided to join you guys over the phone for truth or dare."

"I GOT MORE GAME! SO DA-"

"Tia, I dare *yawn* you to give Grimmjow a dare."

"Thanks Starrk, and have a nice nap."

"You know I will." *yawn*

"Grimmjow, I dare you to watch Ilforte and Mai kiss each other."

"WHAT? *barely blush* What if we don't want to?"

"Would you like to torture Grimmjow?"

"Well, yes but…"

"Nike. JUST DO IT."

"Wtf, Halibel?"

"It's a type of shoe in America."

"Oh…"

*~Kiss~*

"ARG! I SWEAR I'LL KILL ILFORTE!"

"Ah, sorry, Szayel and Mila Rose already said that, so…you're gonna have to be put on hold."

"DAMN THEM!"

_End chapter~_

_So…truth or dare the third…_

_How'd I do this time? _

_AND DID YOU KNOW THAT SZAYEL APORRO AND ILFORTE HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY? It's June 22! THEY COULD BE FREAKIN' TWINS! XDD_

_Grimmjow's is July 31_

_Ulquiorra's is December 1_

_And Luppi now has a last name. All I know is that I forgot it and it starts with an A._

_XD_

Espada Romance Time (friendship pairing today): Halibel's Affect

(TIA'S POV)

"Hai, Harribel-sama," said Sun-Sun as she walked away with the other two. I had just sent my fraccion back to their rooms since the work day was over.

Now that no one could bother me, I should go join the others in the living world.

After I arrived in the Living World, I saw that I was near a river.

"TIA." Looking over the railing, I saw the one and only Ulquiorra Cifer, floating away.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?"

"…I TRIPPED."

"TRIPPED?"

"YES, OVER THE RAILING!" Finally! Ulquiorra actually tripped! I never thought I would live to see the day where he tripped.

"YOU'RE PATHETIC ULQUIORRA."

So after I dragged him out of the water, I had him fly me to where the others were staying.

"Tia-chan! Are ya gonna be stayin' wit' us?" asked Ichimaru. Behind him, I saw Inoue Orihime trying to reject something(s).

"No, are you still playing truth or dare?" I asked.

"Nah, Grimm-jow's ta upset ta play an'more. He's upstairs if ya wanna visit 'im." So I did. In Grimmjow's room, he was…in Resurccion…rolling around on the floor with a ball of yarn. Of course, I took a picture using my cell phone.

"What the-"

"Sit." Grimmjow looked really confused, but he did as told and sat up, poking at the yarn every few seconds. "Good kitty."

"Grrr, Halibel, I'm not your pet cat." Oh, how that yarn just made him look adorable.

"Right, it would be unfair to Lilynette if I took her cat," I said with a smirk as Grimmjow growled. "But you would make a nice pet."

I sat down on the floor next to him. Of course, Grimmjow, being the cat he is, curled up and continued playing with his ball of yarn. We used to visit each other a lot back when we were still children Arrancar.

"Why'd you come here?" Grimmjow asked. I put down Tiburon (since it gets heavy sometimes) and pulled off my gloves.

"I was bored." Grimmjow, being the kitty he is, crawled over and stretched like a cat before lying down.

"You were bored?" He was about to lick his paw when he realized he was still Arrancar, not human cat.

"Yes, and why…are you in your resureccion?" Grimmjow shrugged. I reached out and start scratching him behind his kitty ears, causing him to purr.

"Ahhhh…oohh…a little to the right…" I shifted my hand to the right. Of course, the giant cat purred even more, heck, he was vibrating slightly.

"Hey…Jaegerjaquez."

"Purrrrrrr…hm?"

"I know I'm a higher rank and all, but…" His eyes started to shut a bit. Hm, it IS getting late…

"Wha?" Pantera fell out of its released form and clattered to the ground. I was still scratching where his ears would have been. And he was still purring slightly.

"Don't eat a fish like me, alright, kitty?" Grimmjow sat up.

"Hey! I'm not a cat!" I have him a look. Wow, the day Jaegerjaquez isn't a cat will be the day he dies. Unless he reincarnates into a cat. "Okay… fine… maybe I AM a cat…"

*falls asleep*

**NEXT MORNING, GRIMMJOW'S POV  
**

_(AN: I don't even know where this is going O.O XD)_

"A~ah, Grimm-jow, ya fell asleep on de floor last night! Ya coulda rolled inta Pantera an' hurt yer'self!"

"Eff off, Ichimaru."

"Ah, yer so nice, Grimm-jow. Bai bai now~" Ichimaru went downstairs to bother Cifer as I sat up. Hm, I felt something stuck in my sash. I looked down and pulled out…a piece of paper?

"Dear Kitty, hope you had a nice cat nap (ha-ha). I would've stayed, but Mila Rose fell into my pool and she can't swim. So, I left you a lil' present. It's in your sash, unless it slipped into your hakama. Your welcome –Tia Harribel."

A present eh? I wonder if it's yarn… Cuz I already have yarn. I reached down into my sash and there was nothing there, down to my hakama-

"Sexta…?" Ulquiorra was at the door. And I had a hand down my hakama. Great timing ain't it?

"Ulquiorra!"

"…What are you…? Never mind, I should never ask." With that, he left, looking freaked out (in his emo way)

"I got it!"

"Shut up! I don't need to know any more!" Poor Ulquiorra, I never knew he was THAT innocent.

"Huh…it's soft…but feels odd…"

"Shut up, Sexta! I don't want any of this!"

"You know you do!"

"ARG!"

Hm…looks like it's a hair tie? "A yellow hairtie? Didn't Mai used to wear this?"

Suddenly, Ulquiorra slammed open the door. "SHUT UP! All I heard was the last line…AND I DON'T NEED TO HEAR WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT!"

"Relax, Ulquiorra, read this."

*after a while*

"Oh…"

*a lil extra*

"Ahh! Dat was a good dinner! Who knew dat Leola-chan can cook?"

"I sure didn't. And I'm her brother!"

"Hey, has anyone seen my hairtie? Ilforte and I checked our room and couldn't find it…"

"I…dunno where it is…"

"Grimmjow, you're wearing it."

"Wha?"

"My hairtie."

"Hm…yellow…is not the worst color, Grimmjow…"

"Shut up…"

"…Ulquiorra-sama? Are you alright?"

"…trash, ask Grimmjow, trash…"

"To think that this all happened cuz of Halibel…"

"Shut up! Don't blame Tia for…what you were doing!"

_The end._

…_Wow…that was incredibly random._

_Ah well, Tia made a great impact on everyone XD_

_Please review =D_

_~G. Ai Inoue_


	70. Inoue is Mad

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Grimmjow's got a yellow hair tie…

Entry 681-690: Inoue is Mad.

_Entry 681_

"What the heck…?"

"Nice going Grimmy-cat."

"Shut up, it wasn't my fault! You were the one who gave me cat nip!"

"Ya it is, yer de one who cracked his mask."

"Aww, he's so cute!"

"I'm cute too, Mai!"

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, are you okay?"

"Uh-huh. But I feel weiwrd."

"What is this, chibi-paradise?"

"I guess so. First you guys, than you and Szayel, now Ilforte."

"But who's gonna take care o Ilforte?"

"How about Mai? We sharwe a woom anyways…"

"Grrrr…"

"Bad kitty, down."

"Will you guys stop calling me a cat?"

"Prove that you aren't."

"I'm a panther."

"Ya ACT like a cat, Grimmy-kitty."

"How?"

"Ya've been playin' wit' dat yellow hair ribbon all mornin'."

"No I haven't!"

"Fetch."

"I'm not a damn dog either!"

*throws a ball o yarn*

"RAWR~!"

"My point proven!"

_Entry 682_

Hm, I'm gonna watch TV wit' Ulqui-orra an' pet-sama.

The only reason dat Ulqui-orra's watchin' is dat he's supposed ta 'watch 'er'

"ARG! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT ULQUIORRA-SAN?"

Oh~ Dis oughta be interestin'!

_Entry 683_

"How could you even THINK that, Ulquiorra-san? Jacob is so hot!"

"It is trash. He has to take off his shirt like every five minutes."

"He is HOT! Why on EARTH would you like Edward better?"

"I never said I did. This whole 'Twilight' thing is very trashy."

"OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE A NON-BELIEVER! NOW I HAVE ANOTHER REASON TO SLAP YOU BEOTCH!"

"CAT FIGHT!"

"SHUT UP GRIMMJOW! I BET YOU LIKE EDWARD BETTER TOO!"

"Hell no! This thing ain't bad! I may hate dogs of all kinds, but I hate bats even more! Jacob is a total chick magnet! I HAVE to meet him, maybe he'll give me some tips!" 

"I heard he wanted ta try usin' Grimm-gel!"

"YEAH! I'M GONNA BE FRICKIN RICH! ONCE HE USES IT, EVERYONE WILL WANT SOME! I'M GONNA BE EVEN RICHER THAN YOU ICHIMARU!"

"I dun' care^^ I was born in Rukongai an'ways^^"

"BUT BEING THE GENEROUS PERSON I AM, I'LL GIVE YOU ALL FIVE BUCKS!"

"So kind, Grimm-cat."

_Entry 684_

"Edward is a fellow vampire."

"Along wit' Kaname."

"Who?"

"He's from Vampire Knight."

"Oh…interesting…"

"And Dracula."

"Of course I have heard of him. He's most likely in my family line somewhere…"

"And Edward."

"…the onna covered that…"

"Ya, I could hear ya from down de street! As I recall, pet-sama called him "WORTHLESS STUPID TRASHY NON PRETTY BLOOD SUCKING PIECE OF DOO DOO!"

"Hey, I thought she called YOU that, not the vampire dude."

"Shut up, Grimmjow."

"Ha-ha, you said doo doo!"

"You also just said 'doo-doo'."

"HA! Ya said it again, Ulqui-orra!"

"Said what? Doo-doo?"

"Hehehehe, you said it again!"

"…"

_Entry 685_

"CHEWBAKA!"

"Someone's angry…"

"Ulquiorra-san refuses to eat my 'trashy inedible trash'! It tastes amazing! EAT IT!"

"Why'd ya say Chewbaka? Ain't dat a Star Wars character?"

"Oh yeah! The walking carpet!"

"…"

"Oh, I wasn't saying Chewbaka. I was saying CHEW, BAKA!"

"Oh…hehe."

"CHEW BAKA! "

"I refuse to eat the trash."

*SLAP* "CHEW, BAKA!"

*chews slightly*spits it out* "That's even worse than Rofly's cooking! And he almost got himself arrested because they thought he was trying to poison Gin!"

"Oh ya…"

"ARG! FEED THE REST TO THE CAT!"

"…Grimmjow, I have something for you!"

"Ohhh, FOOD!"

_Entry 686_

Grimm-jow ain't feelin' well.

'pparently, pet-sama's food burned 'is stomach.

So she had ta heal 'im.

But she refused ta.

Probably cuz she's 'avin' 'er time o de month.

Dis is what she said when she heard me say dat.

"CHEW BAKA!"

So now I got a MAJOR tummy ache.

So now, Starrk an' Lilynette gotta take us ta de vizards so Hachi-san can heal us.

_Entry 687_

*yawn* Starrk here… We're supposed to wait for the others…

**STARRK! C'mon! Mashiro-chan and I are gonna play Kill That Fly On Hyper-Active Super Crazy Coffee! It's really hard, but it's an AWESOME challenge!**

*yawn* Aren't you tired?

**DON'T WHINE! Please~ please~ please~~~ play with us Starrk! It'll be so fun!**

…What's in it for me? *yawn*

**I'll get you a new pillow!**

Ohhh ok^^

_Entry 688_

You'll never believe what I'm seeing right now…

"SUPER MASHIRO KICK~!"

"DIE YOU STUPID FLY! CERO!"

"HIYAAAAAA!"

…I never thought I would see Starrk go HIYAAAAAA!

It's…creepy…

Oh, this is Grimmjow writing by the way.

My tummy still hurts like dogs.

I hate dogs…

_Entry 689_

Well, Grimmjow's here again…

I decided to go bother Ulquiorra and the onna.

When I got there though, I saw the weirdest thing…

Onna was hugging Ulquiorra…

Ulquiorra, hehe, he was just standing there like a statue with his hands in his pockets.

"Onna, what are you doing?"

"Ah! Grimmjow What are you doing here?"

"This is my room, what're YOU doing HERE?"

"I…*sigh* Ulquiorra-san seemed down so I gave him a hug…"

"*LAUGHY LAUGH LAUGH* That ain't Ulquiorra, onna! That's a statue that Gin made out of card board cutouts!"

"SHUT UP BEOTCH!"

"…You really are scary when you're mad for real…"

*SLAP* "GO AND SHUT YOUR FACE!"

"…That's…just weird…and OW! YOU PUNCHED MY STOMACH! HOW DO YOU CALL THAT A SLAP?"

"CUZ IT IS!"

_Entry 690_

"Oh, it's okay, Lily, take my hand."

"I-it's just been so hard! My friend hates me, my boyfriend dumped me, and EVERYONE JUST DOESN'T LIKE ME! WAHH!"

"LUCKY BEOTCH!"

"What now, onna?"

"THAT LILY GIRL GOT TO HOLD TYRA'S HAND!"

"I do not care."

"ARG! Mai-chan! Are YOU jealous of that Lily?"

"Huh? Why would I be jealous of Lilynette?"

"NOT HER! NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME! KUROSAKI-KUN BARELY NOTICES ME, KUCHIKI-SAN IS STEALING HIM AWY FROM ME, ISHIDA-KUN DOES EVERYTHING BETTER THAN ME, AND SADO-KUN…he's…TALL! YEAH! HE'S TOO TALL!"

"…Ulquiorra-sama…?"

"…"

"I think we need to take her to a therapist…"

"…I almost pity the therapist…"

_END CHAPTER~_

Espada Romance Ti-

"NO! That's just WRONG! That's INCEST!"

"YEAH! NO WAY! NO WAY! NO WAY!"

"…Axel…you sound like Ilforte and Szayel about Grantzest and Hana…you sound like…that green haired vizard…Mashiro…"

"HIYA TIE-NEE!"

"…Wait, they are not Espada."

_Yeah, but they are Arrancar type people. _

Arrancar Brother-Sister Moments…and an interview!: Double Trouble

"Better."

"Wayyy better!"

_So, what was your reaction when you found out you had a sibling?_

Tia: "What have I done to upset God?"

Hana: "I HAS A BROTHER?"

Axel: "I HAS A SISTER?"

_Okay…Erm…who's your favorite sibling?_

Axel and Hana: "TIA-NEE!"

Tia: "…no comment…"

_Okay, two questions are enough! FLASHBACK SIS-BRO-SIS MOMENTS TIME!_

*FLASHBACKS*

"RAWR~! TIA-NEE I AM YOUR SISTER!"

"…*pinches self* …so this ISN'T a nightmare…"

*SCENE CHANGE IN FLASHBACK*

"Tia-nee! Why didn't you tell me I had a sister?"

*everyone stares at Axel*

"Uh…not now Axel."

"Why, Tia-nee?"

"…we're in the middle of an important Espada meeting…"

~Scene change again~

"TIA-NEE!"

"WHAT? I'm having lunch with my fraccion!"

"We're really really-"

"Bored."

"Leave you little brats! Harribel-sama is having tea with us!"

"Yeah! Well, not really for Apache, she's just screaming about video games."

"Please lower your voice you two, we are in the presence of Harribel-sama's siblings." 

"SHUT IT SUN-SUN!"

"Hey, Hana, do you wanna bother her fraccion?"

"SURE!"

"1…"

"2…"

"THREE!"

"HIYAAA!"

"WHAT THE FUZZLE?"

~SCENE CHANGE YEAH! ~

"Ms. Mary Mack Mack Mack! All dressed in black black back! With silver buttons buttons buttons! Right down her back back back!"

"What the heck are you doing? It is three in the freakin' morning!"

"We said that…"

"…we were bored…"

"Tia-nee…"

"I haven't had any sleep for the past three days and I am TIRED! I have had ENOUGH of you two!"

~A while later~

"This sucks."

"Yeah, it does."

"You aren't the one stupid enough to agree to 'have each other's backs' with your sister. I have to watch you two."

"Shut up Emospada!"

"Yeah, smile, Ulquiorra!"

"No."

"…"

"…"

"SMILE!"

"No."

"Ready for another challenge, Axel-kun?"

"Only if Tia-nee's gonna get a good show, Hana-chan!"

"What are you-"

"SMILE, EMOSPADA!"

~The next morning~

"WAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Silence, Roflmao, or you shall lose your rank also." 

"OH MY EFFIN' BLOTS! YOU LOOK F***IN HILARIOUS!"

"Shut up trash."

*tries not to laugh, failing MISERABLY* "O-ohahahahhaa-yo Ulquiorra-sama!"

"Mai, don't make this any harder than it already it."

"Okay…"

"…Really?"

"I'll make it easier by not hurting my face and just laughing instead of holding it back! WAHAHAHAHHAHA!"

"ARG! AXEL AND HANA YOU TRASHY BRATS!"

~Somewhere in Tercera Quarters~

*highfives*

"That was a great idea, Hana!"

"Well, ya did a good job attaching it to his face while he was sleeping, Axel!"

"TIA HARRIBEL!"

"Uh-oh…"

"What did you two do?"

"TIA, you demand your sibling to remove this trashy whatever it is from my head of you all will pay!"

"Oh really?" *turns around, seein' his face* "OH MY GOSH YOU LOOK FREAKIN' HILARIOUS! What did they DO to you? Hahahahaha!"

"We borrowed something from Szayel Aporro and arranged it on Ulquiorra's face so that it would force his face into a smiling position. And only us two can take it off!"

"Good job you two, now, let's go to that meeting!"

"WAIT! Take this off of me fir-"

"C'mon Pale-spada!"

~Later on~ 

_Ulquiorra never lives it down because everyone still smiles the corny grin he had on that day and Ulquiorra gets really grumpy around Grimmjow and Nnotira because they are ALWAYS grinning._

_Thank you for reading, minna-chan! RIP Tia Harribel and have a great school year for whenever yours start!  
_

_Cuz mine starts in like two days…_

_Thanks for sticking to the long fic and hope you continue to read it^^_

_Again, thank ya!_

_~G. Ai Inoue_


	71. Salt

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

We're all havin' dinner at our house!

Entry 690-700: Salt

_Entry 690_

"Pass de salt please^^."

"Why?"

"…Cuz I want ta use the salt…"

"Dinner did not start yet. What would you use it on?"

"I thought yer eye saw ev'rythin' Ulquiorra! What's on this table?"

"A tablecloth…"

"…What else?"

"Fake fruit in a basket…"

"And~?"

"Glasses of water for everyone."

"Exactly! Now gimme de salt."

*sigh*hands over the salt* "I have a bad feeling about this…"

_Entry 691_

Hehehe :D

I got de salt :D

_Entry 692_

"Soooo…" (Me!)

"Yeah…" (Grimmjow.)

"Yeah…" (Mai-chan)

"Yeah…" (Pet-sama)

"…" (Ulqui-orra)

"Hahaha, yeah…" (Rofly-kun)

"…" *looks away from de 10 on his cheek* (Mai-chan)

"…" *glares* (Grimmjow)

"…*yawn*" (Coyote-kun)

"…" (Ulquiorra)

"Sooo…nice conversation we're havin' 'ere…"

_Entry 693_

"Gin."

"Er…ya, Ulquiorra?"

"Why are you trying to put salt in my water?"

"Er…so ya can have…a taste o de ocean?"

_Entry 694_

"Ichimaru-san?"

"Ya, pet-sama?"

"Why are about to put salt in my water?"

"…would ya rather 'ave pepper…?"

"Nah, unless we have cucumbers, but I'm fine, thanks though!"

_Entry 695_

"Ichimaru."

"Ya?"

"You owe me."

"Why?"

"Remember? You'd do me a favor if I did your paperwork."

"…I can't believe ya actually fell fer dat…"

"WHAT?"

"Er…whaddya want me ta do?"

"Hm~"

"Uh-oh…dis can't be good…"

_Entry 696_

"What IS that, sis?"

"It's a salad, Forte."

"But…what's those weird red things?"

"Tomatoes."

"Ew…I don't wanna eat it." 

"WHAT?"

"C-calm down Ulquiorra-sama^_^"

"How DARE he not like tomatoes."

"Ya've been watchin' yer Tomato Song too much…"

_Entry 697_

"OW THAT FREAKIN' STINGS!"

Ya, I just unscrewed de salt shaker an' dumped it on Mai-chan's eyes while Grimm-jow held 'er down from behind.

Why ya may ask?

Cuz it's part o his plan.

"Are you awight, Mai?"

"I-I don't know…my eyes hurt so bad I can't open them…"

"Does de light hurt 'em, Mai-chan?"

"Y-yeah…"

"'Eere, put dis blindfold on. Yer gonna need help around da place while yer blind."

"Great, now I know how it feels like to be Tousen-san."

"Ev'rythin's dark, ain't it?"

"AHHH!"

"Scared ya, didn't I?"

"I thought you were Grimmjow."

"Oh, dat explains more."

"Just be quiet, I'm stressed enough as it is, you don't need to scare the crap out of me every few minutes."

"M-Mai-chan?"

"Yeah?" 

"RAWR!"

"AHHH! LEMME GO! LEMME GO! LEMME GO!"

"Hehehe."

"STOP THAT!"

_Entry 698_

Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Mai-chan, Ilforte, Rofly, Lilynette, Starrk, an' me are takin' pet-sama ta de therapist.

Ulquiorra was only supposed ta go, but we all tagged along.

Huh…I can spell therapist! Now only cuz I'm smart like that, but it can also be the/rapist!

Ya, I'm a perv, ain't I?

_Entry 699_

*after half an hour at the/rapist (hehehe)'s place*

"So…you all think there is something wrong with this woman?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but she's perfectly fine. Other than being obsessed with Twilight and having Bieber Fever, which is VERY common for a teenage girl, she's perfectly fine. The people who have problems are YOU eight."

"HUH?"

"You, young man, are in a state of either depression, or you have something bothering you so much you shut everyone out and hold in your emotions too much. It's a state called Emo. You, are quite psychotic and might be a bit crazy… You, young lady, have too much stress. A remedy for this is, as teens call it, 'getting laid.' You, little boy, are over using the word bro. Which is quite odd for a child… You, you laugh WAY too much. It's annoying. You, little girl, dress like a tramp. You in the corner over there, you sleep too much. And you need a haircut. YOU, are the worst. YOU scare the sh** outta everyone with that creepy smile of yours. And what's up with your hair? You need to get it dyed."

"…What's wrong with being emo, trash?"

"What does he mean? I'm not crazy! I'm the sexy Sexta! RAWR~~~!"

"_WHAT?_ That guy's a jerk! He's freakin' crazy!"

"What else am I supposed to call people, bro? By their names?"

"Hahaha, I like laughin' though! BWAHAHA!"

"I AM NOT DRESSED LIKE A TRAMP!"

"I don't need a haircut…*yawn*"

"I dun't scare the sh** outta ev'ryone! They call dis adult charm!" *even creepier smile*

"That's what you all say…Here, I have a remedy for all of your problems!"

"If you say 'get laid' I swear we'll all kill you."

"Just pour a lot of salt in your eyes and you'll forget all your troubles!"

"THAT'S WHY I'M WEARING THIS BLINDFOLD! THERE'S SALT IN MY EYES AND IT FRIGGIN' HURTS!"

"Oh, I forgot, it won't work for the stressed part. My remedy for you, girl with the salt in your eyes, is to get-"

*grabs his collar* "I swear if you finish that sentence, you won't live to see your next birthday."

"-laid!"

"ARG!"

"Oh, and my birthday starts in 3…2…1! WOO! I am now 36 years old!"

"…" *no one's amused…AT ALL*

*later on*

"AHHHH! SOMEONE GET ME DOWN! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO HANG ME BY MY UNDERWEAR ON THE HIGHEST POLE IN TOWN! ESPECIALLY ON MY BIRTHDAY YOU IDIOTS! IT'S FREEZING UP HERE!"

"That must be one killer wedgie…"

"IT IS! WAHHH MY BUTT HURTS! OH GREAT! NOW THERE'S BIRD DOO DOO ON ME!"

"…Did he really deserve this?"

"Yes."

"Uh-huh."

"Yup."

"*yawn* Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"Ya."

"…Yeah, I agree too…"

_Entry 700_

Happy Birthday, Axel-kun!

Here is an awesome hotdog bun!

Even though we barely met,

I will still bring a net!

Even though we act like two!

Tia-nee still cares about you! (And me! Your most awesomest sister Hana! By the way, this song was to Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star!)

*later on*

…How did Hana-chan know where I hid Diary-kun…?

_END CHAPTER!_

_I'll update Espada Vacation next! Yikes, I'm so behind lol I still have to update Not So Happy Ending_

Espada Romance Time: In the Dark _(Sounds like it could be a song name for a Bleach character. Lol, Toshiro wouldn't like that. His song is called "This Light I See" But oh well. He can be in the dark and see his light. XD)_

_AN: Also, this won't be a short diary-ish version. More typed out as if I was actually trying to write another romance fic with Grimmjow and Mai. Awww~ yeah, it's another GrimMai one^^_

"Grimmjow?" Dammit, whoever dumped that salt in my eyes will pay. I can't see anything and it isn't helping that there's rain and thunder to make the situation even scarier.

"GRIMMJOW?" I shouted louder, trying to find him. Since I was now blind, Ilforte and Grimmjow switched places in the houses. Also meaning (if you didn't get it already) that he had to take CARE of me. Pfft, like when I broke my leg, I don't think so. He isn't the most responsible Espada.

BOOM~ sounded the thunder. This scared the heck outta me because I was near the window apparently and I could sense the flashing.

"Grimmjow!" I quickly walked out of my room. (since I memorized how to get around in this house) I could tell it was really dark since everyone was asleep. Even Rofly who liked to stay up late.

"GRIMMJOW!" I suddenly walked into something and fell on my butt.

"Watch it twerp," sounded Yammy's voice. Great, the big guy who was mad at me for 'taking his rank' even though I'm not even the Decima anymore…"

"I'd LOVE to watch where I'm going, Yammy, but I can't," I told him. This was probably not the best time for him to get angry. Yammy liked to sleep after eating, and he just ate like a ton of food.

"Then you should shut up! I can't sleep with you screaming out here!" he bellowed. Being blinded for the time being, I didn't know he was swinging his giant fists at me until I actually FELT it. Which hurt! A LOT!

Before I knew it, my foot slipped and I went tumbling down the stairs!

"AHH! YAMMY!" I tried grabbing onto his arm, but he was just that cruel so he moved his arm out of my reach before I could get a hold of it. I braced myself for the hit for the hard hit to the head, but it never came.

Barely a few inches before I had hit the floor, Grimmjow had caught me.

Looking up- well, I am, moving my head so that I was 'looking' up at his face, I felt him shift a bit as Yammy spoke up.

"Sup, Grimmjow?"

"What do you mean 'sup'? You just tried to push Mai down the stairs!" he growled at Yammy, who laughed.

"Nah, I was planning to punch her, but that was a better outcome."

"Yammy, I swear if you don't run to your room right now, I will do the same to you as we did to the therapist guy, but ten times worse." Yammy walked down the stairs toward the living room (since everyone thought he was stinking up the second floor, so we made him sleep on the pull out couch), passing us as he walked by. I felt Grimmjow's wrap his arms around me a bit tighter and his reiatsu flair up a bit until Yammy was 'out of sight'.

Grimmjow stood up and walked up the stairs, still holding me.

"Grimmjow, I can walk," I said softly, suddenly feeling really tired. He probably smirked.

"That's what you said when your leg was broken." He said, still not putting me down and continuing to walk at his slow pace.

"But…(I held back a yawn) my leg isn't broken…" My eyelids were getting heavy, so I closed them. I felt Grimmjow hold me closer as I was about to drift off.

Then suddenly, thunder sounded loudly from outside. I jumped a bit and felt myself gripping onto Grimmjow's jacket.

Not so surprisingly, he didn't mind. And before I knew it, he set me down on my bed.

~G~

I thought Mai was gonna just roll over and sleep once I put her down, but instead, she smiled up at me softly. The thundered sounded again and that smile disappeared in moments. I took her small hand in mine as I set down on her bed.

"Thunder ain't gonna hurt you. Unless it oh so tragically happens that the lightening hit this house and kills us as it collapses," I said with a grin.

"Y-you're not helping at all!" Mai replied, but the thundered sounded again and I felt her hand hold on tighter to mine. Letting go of her hand for a sec, I pulled off my shirt before lying down next to her. "G-Grimmjow? What are you doing?"

"Relax, will ya? Since you're so afraid of the thunder, I'll sleep with you tonight," I said draping an arm over her shoulders. She flinched a bit before turning to face me. The thunder sounded AGAIN as Mai moved a bit closer and I held on to her tighter.

"Thanks…" I heard her say quietly against my chest.

I smiled a bit before closing my eyes. Mai was already asleep by the way she felt so relaxed. We lay there in the dark and rain sleeping peacefully.

_The End._

_Hm…does this seem more like…a separate fic if it was longer? _

_Oh well, please review^^_

~Ai-chan


	72. Underwear, Pet Rocks, and Kidnapping!

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Well…hi Ichimaru's journal thing…OI! HE TAPED THAT EMBARASSING PICTURE OF ULQUIORRA AND HALIBEL CERO-ING ME ON THE FRONT! THAT PEU DU MERD!

Language, trash.

French!

Entry 701-720: Underwear, Pet Rocks, and Kidnapping!

_Entry 701_

Ichimaru forgot his diary here.

So I'm gonna write in it.

Good morning Ichimaru's diary.

I never really liked this thing…

But I lost mine, so I'll write in here.

Well, I didn't LOSE it. D-Roy cero'ed it…

So I guess that means I lost its ashes…

_Entry 702_

…Guess what I heard from the attic…

"Hana, here's your underwear, it was in my pile for some reason…" 

"Leola-chan, that's not mine! That says Hanes Her Way on the waistband thingy! Mine would say Fruit of the Loom!"

"I don't think ALL of them say that…"

"I know one of yours does, see?"

"Shut up! Who calls underwear Fruit of the Loom? I mean, what's a loom anyways? And why would someone put fruit on it?"

"Maybe cuz it's a loom for fruit!"

"Do you even know what a loom is?"

"Nope!"

_Entry 703_

Next, I went to see what Rofly was doing.

"HAHAHAHA! Grimmjow-san, guess what? WAHAHAHA!"

"Huh?"

"Yammy's undies say Fruit o the Loom! WAHAHAHA!"

"And how would you know that…?"

"A giant pair o undies ended up in my pile! WAHAHAHA! I know they were Yam-Yam's cuz he had someone sew on a picture o his face! AHHAHAHA!"

"That's…disturbing…"

_Entry 704_

"AHHHH!"

*a buncha people rush to Jerico's room*

"What's wrong, Kiatcero?"

*Blush~* "I-I…s-someone g-got Mai-sama's…undergarments…mixed in with my pile…"

"I'll give it to her!"

*WHACK*

"You're such a perv, Yammy. I'LL give it to her, since I'M a girl."

"I'LL give it to her since I'M sharing a room with her."

"In your dreams, Jaegerjaquez."

"Actually, yeah, it IS in my dreams!"

PERV!"

_Entry 705_

"Grimmi-jow!"

"What, you big fat doofus?"

"I'M NOT FAT! I'M BIG BONED!"

"Bones don't jiggle…"

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?"

"Because I'm just that smart!"

"I CAN NEVER THINK OF A COMEBACK FOR THIS!"

_Entry 706_

"Grimmi-jow!"

"What now?"

"Your underwear says Calvin Klein on it!"

"…how the heck would you know…?"

"I went through it!"

"WHY?" 

"Cuz I like to go through people's clothes."

"…I never knew anyone could be more of a pervert then Nnoitra…but Yammy, you're the most perverted (and stupid) pervert I know…"

"What's my prize? I bet it's a flat screen TV, right?"

_Entry 707_

"Grimmjow!"

"What laughing boy?"

"Yam-Yam told me ya got Calvin Klein undies!"

"…"

"Ain't Calvin Klein like designer or somethin?"

"How would I know?"

"Oh, an' Yam-Yam told me ta ask ya if he could borrow some!"

"WHY?"

"He wants ta impress ev'ryone!" 

"With his…underwear…?"

"*shrug* I guess so…"

"Wow, you haven't laughed ye-"

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

_Entry 708_

"Yammy!"

"Grimmjow! So can I borrow them?"

"No, and how would ANYONE impress someone with underwear?"

"…you see…"

*realization hits*

"I'm listening^^"

_Entry 709_

"Hey Mai! I need you to take off the blindfold for a sec!" 

"Why?"

"I wanna show you something!"

"…I don't want to see whatever you're talking about…"

"Just take it off."

"Now you're just perverted!"

"…I wouldn't actually mind tho-"

*SLAP*

_Entry 710_

*takes off blindfold*

"Dang your eyes are red."

"Yeah, they're sor- GRIMMJOW WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?"

"Yammy told me how one can show off underwear!"

"And you LISTENED to him?"

"…that was really stupid, wasn't it?"

_Entry 711_

Yeah, I was stupid.

But this is our home for now, and when someone's at home, you can feel at home!

So I walked around in my underwear.

SURE, Leola told me to stay out of Hana's sight, and SURE I got a slap from every girl who rang the doorbell (which was a lot for some reason) but I'm comfortable.

Except for the slap marks on my face.

Those hurt.

And they make me look ugly.

…Hm…that sounds like something Charlotte would say…

_Entry 712_

"Kitty-spada!"

"What? Hey, who're you again?"

"HOW THE HECK COULD YOU FORGET ME? I'M TIA-NEE'S SISSY! I'M HANA HARRIBEL!"

"Ohhhh!"

"Guess what?"

"Huh?"

"I got an AWESOME new pet!"

"Cool…"

"YOU HAVE TO ASK WHAT IT IS!"

"…What is it…?"

"A pet rock!"

"Cool…" 

"And guess what I named it!"

"Rocky?"

"OMG HOW DID YOU _KNOW_? YOU'RE PSYCHIC AREN'T YOU?"

_Entry 713_

"Hiya minna-chan!"

"Ichimaru-sama! You're back! Where did you go anyways?"

"I invited de the/rapist ta go ta lunch wit' me."

"…really?"

"Den he said I needed ta get laid so I called Bya-kun down an' told 'im de the/rapist hurt Rukia-chan."

"Isn't that guy the girl captain?"

"Pink wearin'-taicho? Nah, it's Bya-taicho, de one wit' cherry blossoms an' hair clips!"

"…and they call Szayel girly?"

_(AN: No offence to Bya-Bya lovers! XD)_

_Entry 714_

"HANA GET OVER HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

"Ehh?"

"YOUR PET ROCK PEED ON ME!"

"Sorry Kitty-spada! LISTEN, ROCKY! YOU'VE BEEN A BAD ROCKY SO GO AND SIT IN THE CORNER!"

"You don't have to be so mean to it…"

_Entry 715_

"Hey! Lookie! The/rapist is out dere!"

*five seconds later*

"HEY! GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID RA- I MEAN THERAPIST!" 

"YEAH! I DON'T DRESS LIKE A TRAMP! SEE? I'M IN A GIGAI!"

"GET BACK 'ERE YA STUPID THE/RAPIST!"

"Get back here Trash."

"I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ALL MY PROBLEMS! LIKE MY LOVE LIFE THAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN BUT NEVER DID!"

"Ohhh, this is a problem!"

"W…T…F?"

"The/rapist…is…KYO…KYOU….SHOO…SHUN…Heck, I can't say 'is name…PINK WEARIN'-TAICHO?"

"…WHOEVER YOU ARE…WHY THE HECK DID YOU GIVE THAT STUPID ADVICE?"

"Eh, doesn't matter! Who wants some sake?"

"OOHH! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!"

"Don't even think about it, Grimmjow."

"Aww, you're so stressed! You really DO need to get-"

"SHUT UP!"

_Entry 716_

"Wait a minute…You're pink-wearing-TAICHO right?"

"Yup!"

"…and…you're a Shinigami-taicho right?"

"Yup! Of the 8th Division in the Gotei 13!"

*glances are exchanged^^*

"SHINIGAMI! ATTACK HIM!"

"I WOULD BUT I CAN'T SEE! *COUGH COUGH* THANKS TO A CERTAIN STUPID BLUE HAIRED IDIOT WHO JUST _HAD_ TO USE SALT…*cough cough*"

"…I take offence to that…"

_Entry 717_

"YAAAAA!"

"WOAH! I'M JUST HERE FOR SOME SAKE! Geez, ya don't have to charge at me!"

"Oh…"

"YAAAA! ARRANCAR! ATTACK THEM!"

"HEY! We take offence to that! We have NAMES y'know!"

"Oh, sorry…"

_Entry 718_

"We're leaving and taking one of you as hostage!"

"I'm not going!"

"I ain't either!"

"Who's WE? I mean, you're the only one here Pink Wearing-taicho-san!"

"Good point little girl that was with that lazy Espada! Oh, by the way, you really do dress like a tramp." 

"You know what you are?"

"Loved by everyone?"

"BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKAY-BAKA-BAKA-BAKAY-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA -BAKA-BAKAY-BAKA!"

"Aww, you called Jushiro that too! I'm sure you two would get along if you were both Shinigami!"

"NEVER EVER NEVER NEVER EVER!"

"Never shout never!"

"NEVER!"

_Entry 719_

"AHHHH! PUT ME DOWN THE/RAPIST GUY!"

"NO~! I'm taking you hostage so the others will earn some more respect for me!"

"Oh great, take the disabled girl as hostage."

"Yeah! That's just low Pink-Wearing-Guy! Now put her down!"

"No~!"

_Entry 720_

Guess what?

Ya, Mai-chan got kidnapped.

Grimmjow's crushed.

Her fraccion are playin' Go Fish.

Ulqui-orra don't care.

An' I'm 'people watchin'

SURE some say it's STALKIN' but I don't stalk!

…cuz dat's my night time hobby!

_END CHAPTER_

_Yeah, this wasn't the best…_

_So…_

_Espada Romance Time_

…Please do not call it romance time…

_Whaddya want me ta call it, Ulqui-orra? Espada?_

…it is preferred…

…_Espada Bro-Sis Time From Ulqui-orra's POV?_

…Fine…trash…

_Alrighty! So ta'day, Ulqui-orra's gonna have a nice flashback wit' a bro-sis moment!_

_Espada Bro-Sis Moment From Ulqui-orra's POV: _

This flashback/story whatever you call piece of trash was from the time someone made the stupid 'accident' to turn Mai into a child.

_FLASHBACK~~~_

(In case you are wondering…I did NOT add the ~~~ part… I dare you to guess who did.)

_(ME~~~)_

(Shut up, Gin. You ruined the readers' chance to guess)

"Ulqui-sama? Ulqui-sama? ULQUI-SAMA?"

"WHAT?"

"Are you awake?"

"…No…I am asleep."

"Oh…but how are you awake?"

"…Have I told you about vampires?"

"…No."

"…Would you like to hear about them?" Thoughts: Dear Aizen-sama, what am I getting myself into?

"Uh-huh."

"Once upon a time…there was a vampire…named Dracula…a long long long time later, people assumed he died…but he was just that stupid and had vampire children…I am somewhere in the family line…so is Edward Cullen sadly, but I don't have to go to the stupid family reunions anymore…"

"Woah…I wanna hear more about Edward-san!"

"No. I may like him better then Jacob, but no. He is an annoying trashy stupid wannabe Elvis impersonator."

"…Wow…"

"Going on, one day, Edward fell asleep with his eyes open. It scared that Bella girl so much that she screamed and everyone assumed that he hurt her… So that's why everyone loves Jacob so much…"

"Really?" 

"Yes. And because of that, vampires all over the universe trained themselves to sleep with their eyes open…either that or they tried to turn themselves into a werewolf…so that's it, this was a pointless story. Owari."

*_SNOOOOOORE*_

(Stop that, Gin! She didn't SNORE! If she did, I would have given her to you or something!)

"Mai."

…

"Mai."

…

"Mai."

…

"Mai."

"…Huh?" _*rubs eye in da lil cute way lil kids do it*_

"Are you tired?"

"*yawn* Uh-huh…" _*leans back on Ulqui-orra's chest*_

"…"

"…Ulqui-nii…?"

"What?"

"...I wuv you^^"

"…"

"Are you gonna say you wuv me back? We ARE brudder and sister…"

_*has a secret mini obsession with cute things* _(SHUT UP I DO NOT!) _*sighs*_ "I… 'wuv' you too, Mai."

"See? Was that so hard? *yawn* G'nighty night, Ulqui-nii!" *goes to sleep*

_*Awww, dat was so cute^^*_

(You rigged my room with cameras didn't you?)

_(…No…)_

(…I doubt that for some reason…)


	73. Turn Back o the Tick Tock Clock!

This mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Ulqui-orra said da funniest thingy ta'day! He was about ta start his speech 'bout love, but he said wuv instead! Hahaha!

*flashback*

"_What is wuv- I mean love...?"_

"WAHAHAHAHA!"

Entry 721-730: Turn Back o the Tick Tock Clock

_Entry 721_

We ain't gonna continue any further in'ta the future.

Sometimes ya must know the past ta live in the future.

We stop the tick tock clock an' turn it back ta remember the past.

Gin, what are you doing?

Tryin' ta make it sound epic like it did in de Turn Back o de Pendulum.

…That's…stupid…

Ya, but wuv ain't stupid is it, Ulqui-orra?

_Entry 722_

Entries startin' now are gonna be flashbacks o de past!

*In'ta the past we go!*

"Aizen-fuku-taicho, I'm BORED!" 

"Gin, I need to plan this VERY carefully. Why don't you go and play with the new Arrancar?"

"Fine! But ya better gimme that chocolate ya promised! I wanna share some wit' Ran-chan!"

So I walked out in'ta de hall. I had only been ta Hueco Mundo a few times back then, so it was all new ta me!

"I DON'T LIKE YOU! PLBBT!" *sticks out tongue*

"…But I dun't know ya…"

"I'm Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez! And you're Aizen's kid! There! I hate you!"

*walks away*

Well SOMEONE fer'got ta take a cat nap!

_Entry 723_

It was lunch time now! 

"Gin, I will let you sit at the head of all the children Arrancar!"

"But I wanna sit wit' Tousen-san and ya…"

"I know, Gin, but children sit with their friends."

"…They ain't my friends…I'm a Shinigami in trainin' an' they're Arrancar in trainin'…"

"Just sit with them, Gin."

"B-but…ya said I was a co-mmander o yer army…I-if I'm a co-mmander…c-can't I sit wit' ya an' Tousen-san? Please? I'll be good, I promise!"

*secretly adores cute things* "…Will you stop swinging your legs and stop kicking Kaname?"

"…Uh-huh!"

"Fine, you can sit with us."

"YAY!"

_(AN: SOO CUUUTE!)_

_Entry 724_

"As you know, I am planning to test on Hirako-tai-"

"OW! Who just kicked my shin?"

"Sorry! I was just lookin' at the fanciness in 'ere!"

"Gin, I told you, no leg-swinging. Please do not do it again."

"Gomen, Aizen-fuku-taicho…"

"As I was saying, Hirako-taicho's friends might come along as we-OW!"

"Gomen, Aizen-fuku-taicho!"

"Gin! Do NOT kick me!"

"Sorry! I promise it ain't gonna happen again!"

"Fine, AS. I. WAS. SAYING. There is a good change tha-GIN!"

"Um…I know I can't see…but I heard his head hit his plate of spaghetti…"

"GIN!"

"EEEP! GOMEN, AIZEN-FUKU-TAICHO!"

"Why were you laying in your food?"

"I stayed up all night."

"Why?"

"Tryin' ta find food! I ain't gonna let Ran-chan starve!"

"Okay…I'll let it slide since you are from Rukongai…"

"Hey! Everyone ain't a noble that's all rich like Bya-kun!"

"…Moving on… everyone finished their paperwork a month ahead of time so we can go on vacation, correct?"

"Hai, Aizen-sama."

"Errr…"

"…**Gin**..."

"Oi! Cut me some slack! I'm younger then ya all! AND I JUST BECAME A THIRD SEAT TWO DAYS AGO!"

"...Our third seat already had almost all the work done…you only had about two more sheets left…"

"…I have HORRIBLE handwritin'…"

"So does Kaname, but HE finished."

"He got a computer…"

"You have access to one also."

"…I dun't know how ta type…"

"Then you would WRITE. I thought you heard, Urahara-taicho invented the pencil!"

"REALLY?"

"No!"

"…I still got horrible handwritin'…"

"Your hand writing is better then mine! …That statement does not leave this room. I am perfect and no one will know of that little flaw."

"So I don't gotta do paperwork?"

"YES! You have to do your work! Now before I end this lunch that was supposed to be peaceful but SOMEONE kicked my shin 50 times, does anyone have questions?"

"Ya, I was wonderin' if we could go back ta de Soul Society soon, Ran-chan's birthday is comin' up."

"…Anyone else? Kaname?"

"…Why don't I ever get any lines in these scenes?"

"Cuz ya just ain't funny, Tousen-san."

_Entry 725_

"Aizen-fuku-taicho!"

"Gin, you bothered me enough today, go away."

"Gomen, but I'm BORED. Oh, wait, I gotta question."

"What?"

"Would it be awkward if I stick mah hand through Ulquiorra-kun's hollow hole? I always wanted ta, but Grimmjow won't get near me, Nnoitra-kun wears an eye patch, an' ev'ryone else thinks I'm creepy…"

"…Yes…it would be awkward…And NO you are not going to do that!"

"Darn…"

_Entry 726_

"Ulquiorra-kun!"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Ichimaru Gin!"

"Oh."

"…Who're you?"

"You already called me Ulquiorra."

"Oh ya…er…what's yer last name?"

"…Why should I tell you?"

"I dunno…cuz I'm yer commander?"

"Oh…I'm number four, Ulquiorra Cifer."

"…four what? Yer not strong enough ta be an Espada right now!"

"No, I'm number four in the Kawaii Chibi Ko _(Cute Little Child XD)_ division."

"Oh…wanna play?"

"Not really."

"…Oi, Ulquiorra-kun?"

"…Yes?"

*sticks hand through hollow hole* "Does dat feel weird ta ya?"

*barely noticeable blush* "Y-yes, now get your hand out of there, trash!"

"Oh, sorry, I wouldn't if it hurts."

And that is why people think Ima stalker/pedophile/the/rapist.

_Entry 727 _

"Aizen-fuku-taicho?"

"Yes, Gin?" 

"I gotta problem."

"What is it?"

"Ya see, I'm eatin' this apple."

"I see; it's good for your health, Gin."

"Ya, but I'm eatin' this apple, and if I aim right, I'll keep Szayel Aporro away. He's kinda like the creepy doctor!"

"…I don't see how this is a problem…"

"But I wanna eat my apple, so I won't be able ta throw my apple at Szayel Aporro!"

"…Go get another apple…"

"Ohh! Good idea! Thank ya, Aizen-fuku-taicho! Yer a genius!"

"Yes, I genius, with greasy hair. So Gin, go get my shampoo and conditioner, it's time that I wash my hair! It needs to stay beautiful because I sense in the future it will grow VERY long and I will be a ButtyflAizen!"

_Entry 728_

"Raw Macaroni Tia Ter~ra! Batterum! Batterum! Terra terra Ti Ti Ti! Terra terra Ti Ti Ti! Ichi…Nii…SAN!"

"OWIEE! You didn't have to slap my hand so hard! Just cuz you're good at this game doesn't mean you can hit my hand!"

"Well, I'm just better then you in this game, Gin. By the way, my name's Tia Harribel."

"Oh, hey, Harribel-chan, high five!"

*slap*

"Owiee! Why did you slap me?" 

"I high fived your face."

_Entry 729_

"Ow! Someone stepped on my mask!"

"Hey! Someone kneed my chest!"

"Trash, you ARE aware that your tongue is slobbering on my mask, right?"

"So that's why it tasted disgusting…"

"Ouch! You twisted my arm on purpose, Ichimaru!"

"Owiee! Ya almost opened mah eye!"

"Who knew a game of Human Knot with the children was so complicated…"

"I told you it was a bad idea, Aizen-sama…"

"Shut up, Kaname, you aren't funny, so you have no soul."

"I thought the filler characters have no soul…"

"You're right! They don't!"

_Entry 730_

"The Titanic?"

"No, you idiot! That's a wrestling movie, Ulquiorra!"

"…It doesn't LOOK like wrestling…now it looks like he's pointing up…" 

"He's BEEN pointing up."

"Shut up, Halibel."

"Yeah, stay out of this, Tia."

"YOU stay out of it, Ulquiorra! I'm cuter then you so I can boss you around!"

*sigh*

"It's a wrestling movie!"

"No it's not! It's a movie about the Titanic!"

"It's a movie called The Hangover stupids!"

"ARG!"

*wrestle wrestle*

"Minna-chan! Stop dat! Okay, you give up! STOP!*

*everyone freezes in their positions*

"I was pointin' UP! The movie's called Up!"

"Ohhh…" 

"…The children can't even play CHARADES…this is unbelieveable…"

_END CHAPTER!  
_

Kawaii Chibi Ko Friendship Times

"Help me~!"

"Ulquiorra?"

"Yes, trash! Now help me get unstuck! It hurts! Wahhh!"

"Why should I?"

"I'm cute to everyone! That's why I'm number four!"

"I'll prove to you that I'm cuter than you some day, Ulquiorra Cifer!"

"Wahh! Just get me outta here~ It hurts!"

"What IS that anyways?"

"Szayel Aporro-san made a stupid machine that is like a magnet except it's for hollow masks!" 

"WOAH!"

*got stuck too*

"I'm scared, Grimmjow…"

"…"

"I know you're scared too, trash."

"Yeah, I am actually…"

"What should we do until someone finds us?"

"I dunno. Say how much we hate each other?"

*SNOOORE*

"Or…that…"

*a while later*

"There you are! We have been looking for you two everywhe- Aww, those two are so cute when they're asleep and getting along!"

_END_

_Yeah, that sucked. I just wanted to update._

_Please review I guess…_

_By the way, school started so I'll update less…_


	74. TBOTTTC 2: Death Note

This is mah Diary-kun, say hiya Diary-kun~!

**Hiya.**

WOAH! ARE YOU DIARY-KUN?

**No, I'm AN.**

No ya ain't! 

**Yeah, I am. I just decided to write in bold today.**

Ohhhh…

Entry 731-739: TBOTTTC: Death Note

_Entry 731_

When I was lil', I still loved dry persimmons.

And since I was young and stupid (like I mean, who ISN'T stupid when their young? We all 'ave our moments!) I made ev'ryone try 'em.

"Aizen-fuku-taicho?"

"Yes, Gin?"

"Ave ya ever eaten a dried persimmon?"

"No, but I'm sure I'll hate it."

"…"

"Gin, I forbid you to shove that dried persimmon down my throat."

"…Okay, I won't, Aizen-fuku-taicho."

"Good."

*throws the dried persimmon*

*SPLAT!*

"**GIN**!"

_Entry 732_

"I heard what you did to Aizen-baka."

"Ya, and?"

"Nice job! You're not too bad, Ichimaru!"

"Grimmjow…do YOU like dried persimmons?"

"Haven't tried it, but don't wanna."

"…"

"Don't even think about throwing it in my face!"

"I won't."

"Okay…"

*uses shunpo*

*shoves it down throat*

"ARRLLGAHH!"

_Entry 733_

"Gin!"

"Ya, Tia-chan?"

"What did you DO?"

"I bought ya new clothes an' stuff an' stuff."

"WHY?"

"Cuz ya look like Misa from Death Note! Cept yer wearin' a scarf…"

"I don't wanna look like Misa-Misa! SHE'S JUST SO…WHINY! I have way better hair, I have prettier eyes, I look prettier, I don't even need make-up, AND I don't worship my boy friend! She's just sooo stupid! I'M way better than her! She's way too whiny for me to be her!"

"…Ya…sure…she's whinier than ya…"

_Entry 734_

"Aizen-fuku-taicho?"

"Yes, Gin?"

"Ya know that anime Death Note?"

"Yes…"

"Ya remind me o Yagami Light-kun…"

"Oh, really? Thank you, Gin!"

"Ya know what Yagami spelled backwards in English is?"

"What…?"

"I'm-a-gay."

"O.O"

_Entry 735_

"Gin!"

"What, Ulquiorra-kun?"

"Tell me where my uniform is NOW!"

"Why?"

"I don't wanna walk around in my pajamas!"

"…But yer bat PJs are kawaii…"

"I don't wanna be called cute! I WANT MY UNIFORM!"

"I gave you different clothes! Look in your drawers!"

"…"

*at lunch*

Aizen-fuku-taicho made me sit wit' the others…

"So ya put on the clothes I gave ya?"

"I don't like them. And you stole my hairbrush! My hair's all wild and messy!"

"C'mon, ya look better than usual!"

"I don't like the shirt and I hate jeans. AND YOU STOLE MY SHOES!"

"Ya look like L!"

"I DON'T WANNA LOOK LIKE L! …Who's L?"

"The smart weird guy from Death Note!"

"…I DON'T WANNA BE THE SMART WEIRD GUY FROM DEATH NOTE!"

_Entry 736_

We went back ta the Soul Society for a short visit…

"GIN!"

"Ya, Aizen-fuku-taicho?"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"

"Err…eat lunch?"

"NO! I meant to Hitsugaya-kun! Everyone blames ME for not watching you! What were you thinking?"

"I was thinkin' that he's kinda like Near from Death Note…"

"What did you do, Gin?"

"When he was takin' a nap, I curled 'is hair a bit and stole his Shinigami robes! Dun't worry, I gave 'im jeans and a white shirt^^"

"WAHHHHH!"

"…He must have just woken up and realized what you did…"

"We better run, I didn't take away 'is zanpaktou…"

_Entry 737_

"_GIN!_"

*yawns* "Aizen-fuku-taicho…I'm tired…wait till mornin'…"

"Shut up, Gin! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?"

*yawns* "I fixed yer hair and gave ya new clothes and glasses…"

"What the hell were you THINKING?"

"That ya'd look like Matt from Death Note…"

"WHY WAS THERE A LOLLIPOP IN MY MOUTH WHEN I WOKE UP?"

"Smokin's bad fer ya so I made a substitute!"

"You KNOW I hate grape flavored lollipops!" 

"That ain't grape. That's cherry-coca-cola."

"IT'S WORSE THAN GRAPE!"

…That's when I decided dat I hate Aizen-fuku-taicho more than ever…

_Entry 738_

"GIN GET OVER HERE!"

"Nice ta see ya again, Ran-chan!"

"What did you do to me HAIR? And even though the leather jacket looks very sexy on me, and it makes me look even cooler than I already am, WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"I got ya a leather jacket, got ya a haircut, and bought ya a TON o chocolate!"

"WHY?"

"Cuz ya'd be like Mello from Death Note!"

"Oh…but Mello?"

"Cuz Mello was de only other girl main character."

"Mello's a GUY, Gin!"

"O.O But…his-her hair…de clothes…it looks like…and…shows his-her midriff…MELLO'S A GUY?"

"Yeah."

"…WHY DIDN'T I EVER KNOW THIS?"

"I heard one of the captains went to the Living World, and when they saw Mello, they thought he was a girl, and bought him a dress."

"…Did he wear it?"

"…They forced him to…"

_Entry 739_

"Gin, I don't understand how you could afford all this Death Note clothes."

"Plus I bought Misa's silver necklace fer Ran-chan."

"…You didn't use Kaname's credit card again, did you?"

"No…"

"…"

"I… used yers…"

"…_**GIN!"**_

"EEP!"

_END CHAPTER!_

_Hello, Minna-chan!  
_

_I decided that I am ending the ERT and the last official one was the Wuv one._

_Lol, I might re continue Espada Snack Time, or just not have anything to end the chapter._

_Well, I'm going to change my penname once more, once I figure some things out. I started watching Death Note again, and after learning that Near's name is NA in Nate and the ER in River with the E and A mixed around is how he got his nickname, I thought OMG That's so cool! So I started doing that with my own name. _

_And I came up with a bunch of combinations. I won't tell you my real name (:P), but the two I like the most is Caam and Amac._

_My new penname will most likely be something along the lines of Amac. I don't want it to be Caam because there's a boy at my school with that name (cept with only one A) and he can be a jerk, so…yeah…_

_Thank you for reviewing! I DON'T OWN BLEACH!_

_~Amac_

_(Yeah, I'm going by that now)_


	75. TBOTTTC 3: Puzzle

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Entry 740-750: TBOTTTC:

_Entry 740_

"Aizen-fuku-taicho!"

"Ug…ITS FIVE IN THE MORNING! WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT?"

"GUESS WHAT?"

"This better be important, Gin…"

"GUESS WHAT TA'DAY IS?"

"WHAT?"

"MY BIRTHDAY!"

"So?" 

"…Ain't ya gonna make me the Special Big Birthday Breakfast? Ya made one fer Ulquiorra…"

"…Ulquiorra's…special…"

"I'm special, too!"

"Prove it."

"I'm smart."

"And…?"

"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!"

_Entry 741_

"You've been VERY annoying lately, Gin!"

"Oh…sorry, Aizen-fuku-taicho…but it's my birthday! I can get punished ta'morrow!"

"Go to you room!" 

"But-"

"NO BUTS!"

"WHAT? I 'AVE a butt! I can't just get RID o it!"

_Entry 742_

"I'm locking you in your room until noon!"

"BUT IT'S ONLY SIX IN THE MORNIN'! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TA DO?"

"Read a book."

"I ALREADY DID!"

"Read another one."

"I ONLY GOT ONE BOOK!"

"Work on a puzzle!"

"I CAN'T!"

"WHY?"

"CUZ THE 1000 PIECE ONES'RE HARD TA SEE!"

"THAN OPEN YOUR FREAKIN' EYES!"

"…Dat makes sense…"

"They don't call me an evil mastermind for nothing."

"…No one calls ya that…"

_Entry 743_

I got bored o my room, so I left.

"GIN! What are you doing out here? I locked you in your room! AND USED A KIDO SPELL!"

"…De kido spell was number ONE…and I don't got a lock on mah door!"

"Huh…you SHOULD have a lock on your door though…"

"Ya were just too cheap ta get one."

"Ah yes, I remember."

"Ya…" 

"Since I can't lock you in your room…guess what?"

"Yer gonna build a playroom fer me an' only me? It'll keep me off yer back^^"

"…No…I'm having Ulquiorra watch you!"

"NOOOO!"

_Entry 744_

"Happy birthday, Gin."

"Thank ya! Fer bein' so nice, I'll let ya play in my playroom!"

"Um…thank you…?"

"Hm…can I poke the wall through yer hollow hole?"

"NO!"

"Oh…Can I see if yer helmet thingy can come off?"

"NO!"

"ARE YOU GONNA FINISH THAT?"

"YES!"

"Oh…"

"You are so annoying! I have a VERY hard hair brush and I KNOW how to use it!" 

*gulps* "Dun't get too violent, now Ulquiorra…"

*brushes hair ONCE* "THAT'S how you use it! Your hair is a MESS! Learn to use a hairbrush!"

_Entry 745_

Aizen-fuku-taicho's takin' me back ta the Soul Society cuz I was annoyin' him…

So when I got back ta my room, I found a fox plushie on my bed!

"Happy birthday, Gin!"

"Ran-chan! Yer here!"

"Yes, I am! Want a dried persimmon? I tried making it myself, but I'm not sure how it turned out…"

*omnomnom* "Yummy~! Thank ya, Ran-chan! Wanna go an' see if we can steal some cake ta eat?"

"No need to worry, Gin! I baked a cake and decorated it all for you!"

*sees an AWESOME looking cake with a smile face on top and HAPPY BIRTHDAY~ written on the sides*

"HOLY MACARONI THAT LOOKS AWESOME, RAN-CHAN!"

"Really? Try some! The frosting is EXTRA delicious!"

*takes a big bite~*

"Mmm, the frostin' IS good!"

That's when I found out Ran-chan's cookin' is HORRIBLE! The frostin' was store bought an' yummy, but de cake itself was hard, disgustin', an' a mix of caramel, strawberry, chocolate, toothpaste, tomatos, an' eggs. Oh, an' soggy bread.

Ran-chan took a bite too. Uh-oh, I hope she ain't gonna poison herself…

"Isn't this GREAT, Gin? I don't mean to brag, but it tastes better than any cake I've ever had! And I've had wedding cake before!"

"U-uh…I just…uh…need ta…sneeze!"

I ran an' grabbed a tissue an' spit it out, makin' it look like a sneeze!

I 'ate all o it' (burryin' it by a plant, which started dyin' after I added water ta make it look natural...)

"Mm, that was great, Ran-chan!"

"Yay! Clean plate club! You can have some more cake, Gin! Since you love it so much, I'll let you have most of it! I'm gonna give the rest to Aizen-fuku-taicho!" 

Great…I'm gonna be blamed fer a murder…

"Boy…ya make KILLER cake, Ran-chan…"

"Aww, you really think so? I should give it so ALL the captains! I just hope that new Kenpachi captain doesn't kill it…"

Golly, I'm gonna be blamed fer the murder o the Gotei 13 cap'ns! Ain't it sound like fun?

_Entry 746_

Aizen-fuku-taicho let me come back ta Las Noches! 

"Gin…"

"Ya…?"

"Happy birthday."

"Thank ya…"

"I got something for you."

"Really? What?"

"A puzzle!"

"Oh boy! Wait…how many pieces does it got?"

"1000!"

"…"

"No one believes me when I say you are a genius! So I expect you to finish this puzzle in an hour…or a half an hour…ten minutes preferably to show that you are really a child prodigy!"

"E-eh…" 

"Go on! No time to study the puzzle, go and work on it!"

I can't believe he got me a CHORE fer my birthday!

_Entry 747_

Some others gave me somethin' too…

Coyote-kun threw a pillow at my face…

Barragan-san gave me a puzzle…

Tia-chan gave me a pet baby shark…Dun't tell her, but it died cuz I err… 'tripped' on it when I thought it was gonna kill me…

Ulquiorra-kun gave me a hairbrush…

Nnoitra-san gave me his garbage…which was 50 used spoons… oh, an' a puzzle

Grimmjow gave me a pet kitty…who tried ta eat Tia's baby shark, but de shark ate the kitty before I 'tripped' on it…

Zommari gave me a puzzle…o a pumpkin…*sigh* dat's 1000 pieces…

Szayel-san gave me two puzzles. One's all blank 'cept fer a G in de corner…I dun't know 'bout the other one…

Aaroniero-san gave me a puzzle…and a pickle…

Yammy…gave me a puzzle…I finished it already…It was only 2 pieces…ya...Yammy called me a genius fer figurin' it out so fast…

An' Tousen-san gave me a puzzle…

Well, he SAID it was a puzzle, but it was a Barbie doll…He musta takin' the wrong thing at Toys R Us…

This is what Aizen-taicho said when he saw my puzzles…

"Oh goodie! You play with those puzzles until you can put one together as fast Near can!"

"BUT-!"

"Oh, too slow… Put the thousand pieces one together faster than Mello-san can eat chocolate!"

"BUT-!"

"Or faster L when it comes to eating cake!"

"GAHHH!"

_Entry 748_

I decided ta bother Aizen-fuku-taicho…

"Aizen-fuku-taicho?" 

"Ah, Gin! Have you finished those puzzles? It's already been an hour!"

"Err…ya…but I can do the puzzles…can YOU?"

"Of course I can, Gin!" 

"Okay…I took one apart fer ta work on…"

"Lovely! Let me have a try!"

"Okay!"

If yer wonderin'…NO I did not finish de puzzles…an' I took ALL the puzzles, (cept de two piece one, an' the fox one) an' mixed it ALL up!

An' I figured out what Szayel-san's puzzle was…

A picture o de human body…on de inside…every lil detail…*shudders*

_Entry 749_

"Aizen-fuku-taicho?"

"GAHH! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!"

"I got ya some cake."

"Oh boy! Cake!" *TAKES A GIANT BITE*

*walks outta the room*

"Hehehe…thanks ta Ran-chan, Aizen-fuku-taicho'll get a 'party in 'is tummy!'"

"OH DEAR LOURDE! THERE'S A PARTY IN MY TUMMY! AND IT'S **WILD!**"

_Entry 750_

*sigh* My birthday ain't really good this year…

But I still had fun…! Kinda…

Oh, an' guess what?

Ya, I got another puzzle.

…From Szayel-san's brother, Ilforte.

It was a 3-D cow puzzle…

It's…pretty cool…

_END CHAPTER~_

_Now, instead of Espada Romance Time, this will show what they're doing in present time:_

Current Time~

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear, Ichimaru! Happy birthday to you! WOOO!"

"Thank ya ta Mai-chan! Where'd ya get the video and why're ya all in the video?"

"…She made us join her…"

"What're you talking about, Grimmjow? You only agreed because it was MAI asking you, than you threatened the rest of us to join in on the birthday video!"

"Whatever! Ilforte was the one who made you join, Szayel!"

"HEY! I am NOT whipped!"

"We never said you were…"

"Says you, Grimmjow."

"You're trying to steal Mai away from me!" 

"She wasn't yours in the first place!"

"She sure as heck isn't yours!"

~G~

"Hullo…?"

"GIN!" *GLOMP* "Ohmygosh I have missed you SO much! What are you going here? Where have you been? How are you? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"I missed ya too, Ran-chan! De others got annoyin' so I came back 'ere. What's up?"

"I got you a present!"

"Eh?"

"Well…I decided this year…to buy you a present…I was going to sneak into your room in Las Noches and give it to you…"

"Aww, thank ya Ran-chan…"

"…Don't you want your present…?"

"Sure!"

"I'm sure you'll love it! I got you this awesome puzzle! It's 1000 pieces and pretty much all blue!"

O_O

_THE END!_

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GIN!_

_PLEASE REVIEW! Oh, and I don't own Bleach._

_~Amac_


	76. TBOTTTC 4: Not Feelin Good

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Entry 751-760:

_Entry 751_

"Aizen-fuku-taicho…"

"Yes, Gin?"

"I…dun't feel very good…"

"…Did you finish your paperwork yet…?"

"Ugh…no…I need ta lie down…"

"You're fine. Finish your paperwork than you'll feel MUCH better."

"Ya know me too well, Aizen-fuku-taicho…"

"As always…"

_Entry 752_

*a few hours later*

"Aizen-fuku-taicho…"

"Yes, Gin?"

"I really dun't feel good…"

"…Did you do any damage to a living thing…?"

"…Define life…"

"…"

"Unless ya count Ulquiorra, than no."

"…What did you do, Gin?"

"…Uh…I DUN'T FEEL GOOD! I'm gonna lie down, m'kay?"

*sigh* "Apologize than you'll feel better. NOW. Or else I'll take away Grin."

"NOOO! Fine, fine! I'll say sorry!"

_Entry 753_

"I…dun't feel good…"

"You promised Barragan that you'd help clean up the mess you made at breakfast."

"He was de one that asked me ta make scrambled eggs!"

"…THAT'S what you were making? I thought you were making waffles!"

"Why would ya think dat? Clearly, I was makin' scrambled eggs!"

"…On the waffle iron?"

"Er…dat's what all de cap'ns are eatin' these days…?"

_Entry 754_

"I-I…d-dun't feel very g-good…."

"Gin, you better go and clean the blender. You promised Szayel you would after you ruined his. What were you making anyways? I heard it was a smoothie…"

"It was…"

"What's in it?"

"…Orange juice…"

"…?"

"…an' chocolate ice cream…"

"…Ew…"

"Oh…an' chicken an' rice…"

"WHY?"

"…Ran-chan made me cake, so I wanted ta make 'er a smoothie…"

"What si WRONG with her?"

"I do believe she calls it 'American food'."

_Entry 755_

"Ugh…"

"Are you going to say that you don't feel good?"

"I'm…I'm…"

"…"

"I'm…BLAAARRRRG!"

"EEP~ DON'T THROW UP ON ME! I JUST BOUGHT THIS HAKAMA!"

"…I ain't gonna throw up…"

"Wha…?"

"I wanted ta scare dat fly on de wall away!"

_Entry 756_

"I really dun't feel good…"

"That's what you get for eating that junk…"

"I NEED A TRASH CAN!"

"DON'T VOMIT ON MY CARPET! ULQUIORRA! GET ME YOUR TRASH CAN!"

"I DON'T WANT HIM TO MAKE MY NEW TRASH CAN SMELL LIKE TRASH! GO AND GET GRIMMJOW'S KITTY LITTER BOX!"

_Entry 757_

"I don't feel good."

"Gin…where did your accent go?"

"When I'm sick I dun't talk in my accent too much…"

"Gin…"

"Ya?

"I have an apple."

"So…?"

"Do you want to see the doctor?"

"No, I dun't wanna see Szayel."

"Good, they say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now go and throw this at Szayel Aporro."

"YAY! *COUGH COUGH*"

_Entry 758_

"OW! WHAT IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE WAS THAT FOR, YOU LITTLE SNOT?"

*achoo*

"EWWW! I DIDN'T MEAN SNOT LITERALLY YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

"Did that apple hurt, Szay-san?"

"Yes!"

"Awww, I'll give you a hug ta make it better!"

"Oh, I've needed a hug!"

*chucks a Tickle-Me-Elmo at him*

"Go an' hug HIM. I dun't wanna hug ya!"

"Oh well, I guess you're all I have Elmo…"

"Elmo doesn't like you!" says de Elmo toy.

Hehe…Szayel's face is de definition of WTF?

_Entry 759_

"Aizen-fuku-taicho…I really…really dun't feel good…"

"I really…really don't believe you, Gin."

*up-chucks*

"NASTY, GIN! EWWW! NOT ALL OVER MY PAPERWORK!"

"Ya didn't believe me before…"

"GO TO YOUR ROOM AND REST!"

"O-okay…"

_Entry 760_

Hehe…

I was fakin' all along…

And dat was FAKE but REALISTIC LOOKING barf!

AIZEN-FUKU-TAICHO GOT OWNED!

AND SO DID SZAYEL-KUN! 

And I finally bought one o those sweat pants thingies from de Livin' World!

"Gin, your fly is down."

"Oh…HEY! SWEAT PANTS DON'T HAVE-"

"HAHA!"

"SHUT UP GRIMMJOW! WE ALL KNOW THAT YER GONNA SCREW UP SOMETIMES IN DE FUTURE AND EVERYONE'LL THINK YER UGLY AND HATE YOU AND NO ONE CARES WHEN YOU DIE!"

"…Huh…?"

Wow, was I wrong.

_THE END_

In Present Time~

"Wow…you...HAHA! SZAYEL YOU FREAK YOU HUGGED ULQUIORRA'S TICKLE ME ELMO DOLL!"

"It wasn't a Tickle Me Elmo, trash."

"Oh, try and defend yourself, Ulquiorra!"

"Grimmjow, it was an Emo Elmo. It somehow got my razors and cut itself one day…"

"You…cut yourself?"

"No, you idiot! Razors for shaving!"

"…Err…none of us around here shaves…unless you count Barragan or Starrk or Zommari… And Yammy looks like someone who shaves…"

"No, I only had razors because Mai bought them to shave your head while you were sleeping one time."

"WHAT? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?"

"When she was turned into a child."

"Kids these days have screwed up minds…"

_TBC~_

_I have decided to end IGD at 100 chapters. I'm not sure if I already told you that…_

_Anyways…more reviews keep me motivated to write faster! I mean, we're four chapters away from the big surprise at the 800__th__ Entry! You're not gonna let me abandon this story before that, right?_

_And…yeah… I know I've been changing my username a bit much, but I'm sticking with G. Ai Inoue._

_So…after I finish IGD, I'll try really hard to remember all of my vacation from like two months ago and write it down, Espada Style!_

_Thank you for all the reviews! Hope you stick around, because once I'm finished with all my Bleach fics, I'm moving on to Death Note! I'm sure all of you are like "WTF? BOO! STAY WITH BLEACH!" _

_But don't worry, I still like Bleach, blah de blah, but my DN fics will be humor mostly too. _

_So…DON'T WORRY CUZ I'M STILL LONG WAYS AWAY FROM FINISHING ALL BLEACH FICS THAT I HAVE RIGHT NOW._

_Before I dig this hole any deeper…_

_Please review, Minna-chan~!_

_~Ai_


	77. TBOTTTC 5: Bad Words

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Entry 761-770: TBOTTTC: Bad Words

_Entry 761_

Ya know…

Back when I was in Rukongai, I remember dat once in a while, I'd see lil' kids playin'.

An' they would come up ta me…

An' bother the hell outta me.

I dun't see how lil' kids are 'angels' or 'sweeties'…

CEPT ME~!

_Entry 762_

An' when they would bother me too much, I'd yell at 'em.

An' if I was too hungry, (like most o de time) I'd cuss at 'em.

Den they would…giggle…

Ain't that weird?

Ta hide yer embarrassment or somethin'…ya would giggle…

IT'S A HELLA ANNOYIN'!

_Entry 763_

I was talkin' ta this lil' lonely girl in de small village/town I was stayin' in once…

She was hella annoyin'…

This is why:

"Hiya, you!"

"Hello…"

"Great weather ta'day, huh?"

"I guess…"

"…"

"…"

"Ya don't like ta talk much, do ya?"

"Not really…"

"Ha-ha, yer anti-social ain't ya?"

"There's nothing actually wrong with being antisocial…"

"I know, but ya people look so lonely!"

"Maybe I prefer being alone…"

"Don't back talk me ta little b****!"

"Actually, a bitch is a female dog, a dog can bark, bark is part of a tree, a tree is part of nature, and nature is beautiful. So I will take that as a compliment."

"Bein' a lil' smarta**…"

"Asses cannot be smart, some can, but they don't seem to be…"

"Dun't say bad words, lil' girlie."

"But I'm not intending to say bad words… Ass is in the Bible, it means a donkey or a beast…"

"Yer annoyin'."

"Well…_yer_ _annoyin_' too."

SHE COPIED MAH ACCENT!

I hated dat lil' girl…cuz she was a smartie pants…

_Entry 764_

Back in Rukongai (de town/village), there was ALSO this annoyin' boy.

He was ALSO smart, but I dun't really think so…

"Hey, Ginny!"

"MY NAME AIN'T GINNY!"

"Geez, just a nickname!"

"Shut up, bastard…"

"Hehehe…" (We were only…I dunno, six in livin' years? So ya can see why he'd say it was a 'bad' word)

"Are ya mockin' me ya piece o sh**?"

"HAHAHA! You're pretty funny!"

"SHUT THE F*** UP!"

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

God dern it, he was worse then Rofly…

_Entry 765_

"A-IGHT BITCHES, WHO STOLE MY DRIED PERSIMMONS?"

"Please do not shout, Ichimaru-kun, it's one in the morning…"

"AHAHAHAHAHA! Dried persimmons! GOOD ONE GINNY!"

"…You aren't fooling anyone…"

"ANSWER MAH DAMN QUESTION!"

"LOL~ HAHAHA!"

"I'm tired…PLEASE be quiet…"

"NOT TILL YA ANSWER THE FREAKIN' QUESTION!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"SHUT THE F*** UP!"

"WAHAHAHAH!"

_Entry 766_

*an hour later*

"NOW TELL ME WHERE DE F*** MAH SH** IS RIGHT NOW, BI***ES OR ELSE I'LL F***IN' KILL SOMEONE!"

*SNOOORE* "WAHAHHA!" *SNOOOOOORE*

"Ichimaru-kun…PLEASE don't shout…"

"SHUT THE F*** UP YA LIL SH**** BI***! YER SO F***IN' NERDY AN' STUPID AN' F***IN BRATTY! YA KNOW WHAT? YA NEED TA SHUT. DA. F***. UP! GOT DA-?"

"ALRIGHT, ICHIMARU_-KUN_, **YOU** SHUT UP! WE'RE ALL TIRED AND NEED SLEEP! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SPIRITUAL POWERS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN BOSS US AROUND! ONLY SHINIGAMI CAN DO THAT! NOW BE QUIET BEFORE I TRY TO KILL YOU!"

"Haha, ya can't even reach me ya lil' midget!"

"…" *AIMS~ KICKS~*

"NOT DE FA-!"

Long, painful story short…I got a black eye, sprained ankle, cut on mah chest, bruises, an' a bleedin' arm…

Lil' girls are scary…

_Entry 766_

"OHHHHHH~~~KLAHOMA! O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A! OKLAHOMA, OK! YEOW~!"

Bored moment…hehe…

_(AN: Ran out of ideas for a bit, XD)_

_Entry 767_

"Ran-chan, meet da lil' brats I was tellin' you about! Intr'a'duce yer'selves, brats!"

"I'm One!"

"My name is Ni…"

"Did ya know that Ginny swears? A LOT too!"

"Yes, and he threatened to kill me once…"

"GIN! Why on Earth would you be so mean to these two? Their ADORABLE!"

*SIGH* I can't have anythin', can I?

_Entry 768_

*sniff*

"What's wrong Ni-chan?"

"I-Ichi-m-maru-k-kun…"

"What did Gin do?"

"He…HE CUT ME!"

"Aww! Don't worry, I'll make him apologize right away! That looks like it hurts! I'm sure some of Gin's dried persimmons will make you feel better!"

*LATER ON*

"GIIIN! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CUT A LITTLE GIRL!"

"I DIDN'T!"

"PROVE IT!"

"IT'S REALLY A HUGE PAPERCUT!"

"Yeah, right!"

"SHE'S HOLDING THE PAPER RIGHT NOW! LOOKIE BEHIND YOU!"

"A little girl wouldn't cut herself!"

"IT'S A REAL ACCIDENTAL PAPERCUT! SHE'S JUST BLAMIN' ME!"

"I don't believe you!"

"LOOK. BEHIND. YA!"

*behind 'er*

*MAKES FUNNY FACES*

(SILENT) "Nah, nah, nah, boo, boo~!"

_Entry 769_

"HU~~~WAH!"

"…One-kun…"

"GEERRRRRRRR! *PANT, PANT, PANT* WAHHHH!"

"…One-kun…!"

"MUST…GO…FASTER…HARDER! HUU~~~WAHHHH!"

"ONE-KUN!"

"Huh?"

"It can't be THAT hard to move the couch…"

_Entry 770 In Present Time…_

"…You had some screwy friends…"

"Ya got dat right, Grimm-jow."

"Say…remember that mission to Soul Society that Aizen sent me on a while back?"

"Nope."

"I met some people that kinda fit you description of One and Ni…they act like how you said too…"

"O.O"

"And I invited 'em for a sake party tomorrow!"

"SAY WHAT NOW?"

"The guy was pretty excited, but he had to start whining to get the girl to go…"

"O.O"

"You know what this means?"

"…Dat I'm gonna mean mah childhood bratty enemies…?"

"No…WE'RE GONNA HAVE A SAKE PARTY!"

_END CHAPTER!_

THIS MEANS THAT THE TURN BACK O THE TIC TOCK CLOCK MINI ARC IS OVER! WOO!

_Who's excited for the next chapter? AND MAI RETURNS NEXT CHAPTER JUST CUZ SHE DOES! WOO~!_

_And I'm planning on posting my scary story that I had to right for class on here... Ya, they had us do a scary story… But One and Ni are in it, SO…don't know what else to say…_

_I'm SOOO sorry I haven't updated! There' a ton of homework, and there's so much this week, and and and and and and…I DON'T KNOW! I'M JUST FREAKIN' OUT SOMETIEMS!_

_Please be patient! Message me if ya wanna chat, I'm usually bored on weekends!_

_Thank you for ALL the WONDERFUL reviews! I'm almost sorry to end this at 100 chapters… BUT (hehe XD) I'm writing another diary after this one!  
_

_Hitsugaya Toushiro's or Kuchiki Byakuya's! I have great ideas for Bya's, but if you all request Shiro-chan, I'll right one for him :3_

_~Amaturasu_


	78. Reunion

This is mah Diary, Ichimary Gin's Diary^^

Entry 771-780: Reunion

_Entry 771_

~RING~RING~

*yawn* "Hello?"

"MOSHI MOSHI, GINNY!"

"The hell…?"

"HAHAHA! Still as funny as ever, Ginny! I bet ya missed us!"

"…Who's us?"

"Oh…wait a minute…NII~! GET OVER 'ERE! SAY HI TA GINNY!"

"…One, ya idiot, it's five in the mornin' on a Saturday…"

"*sigh* Hello, Ichimaru-kun, are you HAPPY, One? I said hi."

"Ya, COME OUTSIDE GINNY!"

"YER ALREADY IN HUECO MUNDO?"

"YUP!"

…Oh sh-

_Entry 772_

"GII~~~~IIIN!" *GLOMPS*

"OOF!"

"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

"GET OFF YA F***IN' ANNOYIN BRAT!"

"Hey! That's a bit harsh…"

"Wait, wha-MAI-CHAN!"

"ICHIMARU-SAN!"

"Yer back!"

"Yeah, wait till Grimmjow hears."

_Entry 773_

"GINNY~!"

"Ichimaru-kun, hello…"

"Girl Brat and Boy Brat!"

"SAKE PAR-TAH!"

"YEAH!"

"WOOOO!"

"SAKE! SAKE! SAKE!"

"YEAH~!~!~!"

"I'LL BRING THE TEA~!"

"Ya fail, Aizen-taicho…"

_Entry 774_

"MAI~!"

"GRIMMJOW~!"

"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

"I DIDN'T~!"

_Entry 775_

Halloween's comin'!

Ta'day we did a Halloween basket exchange!

We all got candies an' cool edible stuff like dat!

On mine, it said "FROM LILYNETTE, ONLY CUZ STARRK wAS TOO LAZY AND I DON'T REALLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE CUZ THEIR TOO DULL…AND STUFF…

On Aizen-taicho's, it said "For Hollow's Day." (Hollows say Halloween's really Hollow's day) Ulquiorra ain't a believer o de word Happy…

On Tousen-san's, it said: "WARRRRLLAAAGAHH!" Guess who it was from…

On Starrk's, it said: "STUPID LAZY BASTARD!" –Barragan

On Barragan's, it said: "ALL HAIL KIND BARRAGAN!" –His fraccion

Tia-chan's: "HIIIII!" –Kiatcero-kun when he was drunk.

Ulquiorra's: "Happy Hollow's Day!" –Mai-chan

Nnoit's: "Um…why do I HAVE to do this again?" –Tesla

Grimmjow's: "I know you took my scarf." –Ulquiorra Cifer

No one sent Zommari one…

Szayel's: "I EAT UR GUTS!" -…Kurotsuchi-taicho when he was drunk…on one o his experiments…

Aaroniero sent one ta each other…Yammy just ate all day… An' Mai-chan's said:

"From you true love~ GRIMMJOW~! …and Ilforte"

_Entry 776_

"TIME FER DE SAKE TO COMMENCE!"

"WOOT WOOT!"

"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS~!"

"Are ya drunk already?"

"NOSH!"

"ME TOO~!~!~!"

"Hey, Mai-ch~AN! Wanna go out with me~?"

"No."

"Do you EVEN KNOW what I SAID?"

"Yes."

"What'd I SAY?"

"Wanna go out with me."

"OKAY!"

"WHAT?"

"TRICKED YA! I WAS SOBER THE WHOLE TIME!"

"Surprise, surprise…"

_Entry 777_

"OH MY BLOTS! I WON! I WON! I WON!"

"Won what?"

"THE LOTTERY! I FREAKIN' WON! SEVEN, SEVEN, SEVEN!"

"Yes?"

"Not you Zommari."

"I feel unloved…"

"I think you are."

_Entry 778_

We have been barely mentioned this chapter! It was supposed to be about US!

_Yes, but I'm sure if you go and get drunk, One, then you would be mentioned too._

Great idea! C'mon, Ni!

_No._

"Why~?"

…_I'm too young to drink…_

_Entry 779_

"LOOKIE AT ME! THE GREAT ONE AND ONLY ONE IS GONNA JUMP OFF O THE TOP OF THE DOME PLACE!"

"He's drunk."

"I can barely tell…"

"I have my own doubts…"

"ONE, ARE YA DRUNK?"

"MAYBE~!"

"So…half an' half…"

"Agreed."

"An' if he dies, I get the wallet."

"…Fifty/fifty…"

"Agreed!"

_Entry 780_

One didn't die.

But we took his wallet anyways…

All there was in dere was two bucks fifty, a Canadian penny, a picture o One's friends, an' a coupon fer a two bucks fifty discount on sake!

So I got de coupon an' de Canadian penny while Ni got de two bucks fifty and de picture.

Later after de left…turns out dat de coupon was expired an' I almost got arrested fer tryin' ta use it…

Stupid brat…

_END CHAPTER_

_Not the best, I admit…wrote it in a day…_

_But if you wanna, go to my profile thingy and at the bottom, theres a link to my facebooky page! *sigh* yes, I screwed up so it's my real one, not my fanfiction one…_

_So…please review! Gosh, I only got four reviews last chapter…I went from 6,294 hits and 1,823 visitors (in July, I think that was IGD at it's greatest), to 1,225 hits and 299 visitors…I know I sound snotty or whatever, but it's either I'm losing my writing skillz or school is keeping everyone busy…_

_Whichever one it is, I can blame school :P_

_Please review! Thank you~_

_~Ama-chan_


	79. Jose Fails

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Entry 781-790: Jose Fails

_Entry 781_

"MA~AI~!"

"WHA~AT?"

"WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THI~IS?"

"I DUNNO, WHY ARE YO~OU?"

"JUST CU~UZ!"

_Entry 782_

So…Mai-chan an' Grimm-jow are goin' on a date…

This time, it's 'ere in Hueco Mundo…

I'm gonna be dey're 'waiter' so I can eavesdrop^^

I even dressed up, died mah hair, an' faked a Mario accent fer this! 

_Entry 783_

"Hello, Blue-one and ma'am, what can I get you fer today?"

"…You aren't fooling anyone Gin…"

"…OH MY! Who is this lovely GIN person you speak of? My name is…errm…JOSE!"

"Suuuure…"

"EHH? You no believe Jose? Jose shall show ya!"

"Your accent slips every once in a while…and who else has that weird smile?"

"JOSE! He is…Gin's best friend! SI! SI! Jose is Ginny's Mexican friend! OLE! HOLA MEANS GOOD MORNIN'!"

"We all know you're wrong…"

"JOSE IS VERY SMART! SI! HE IS!"

_Entry 784_

"Hola, yo Jose." (Hi, I Jose)

"Your Spanish is HORRIBLE, Gin…"

"JOSE IS NO…GATO…" (Jose is no…cat…)

"You FAIL, Gin…FAIL…with a capital AIL…"

"Jose thinks Grimmjow is…stupid…GATO!" (Gato=Cat)

"…"

"BARK."

"…Fail…"

_Entry 785_

"SI! JOSE'S BASKET OF CHOCOLATES ARE THE BEST! SI! SI! JOSE SAYS YOU SHOULD BUY SOME!"

"…"

"…"

"Jose no entertaining?"

"No…"

"SI~! Jose WILL come to your niece's birthday party and perform magic tricks!"

"I never said-!"

"Jose will need the use of a…gato…"

"I take offence to tha-!"

"JOSE WONDERS IF YOU TWO LIKE JOSE'S FACIAL HAIR!"

"No-"

"JOSE WILL SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR NIECE TOO!"

"I don't even HAVE a niece!"

"HOLA! GOOD MORNING! HIII~!"

"YOU FAIL! WE GET IT! LEAVE! _**NOW.**_"

_Entry 786_

"Ellos van al parque?" (They are going to the park?) (_AN: My Spanish is a bit off probably, even though we take classes at school -_-)_

"No…we don't even HAVE a park here you idiot!"

"Awwww, Grimmjow no amigo of Jose?" (Amigo=Friend)

"NO!"

"SAY IN SPANISH!"

"…NO!" (No=No) (XDDD)

_Entry 787_

Jose is tired…

JOSE WANNA SEE SOME ACTION!

**Jose wants to see some action?**

SI~!

*PUNCH*

_Entry 788 _

*sigh*

But on de bright side, DE SURPRISE IS COMIN!

But did ya know there's a song called I Like yer Hair?

Random info~

_Entry 789_

"I like yer hair~ Where do ya go? I wanna go there~!"

"…What the heck are you singing…?"

"I LIKE YER HAIR BY SCOTTY VANITY~!"

"…"

"'Ey ya bitches! Mah scalp itches!"

"…No one cares…"

"Ey, ya slut!"

"What did you call me now?"

"I like yer cut!"

"Really?"

"Mai…how do you know this song…?"

"Where's mah gel~? Mah hair looks like hell~!"

"…that's the WEIRDEST song I've ever heard…"

"Ya got dat right…"

_Entry 790_

OMG-OMG-OMG-OMG-OMG!

SURPRISE IN TEN ENTRIES!

BUT DIS IS DE LAST ENTRY OF DE CHAPTER!

IN YER FACES!

…Bai-bai~!

_END CHAPTER_

SURPRISE IS COMING~!~!~! WOO!

Well…you know what I'll put here…

Thanks! Until next chapter friends! XD

~Amaterasu


	80. Arguments,Pizzas,Surprises An' Stuff :D

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary

Entry 791-800

_Entry 791_

"JOSE IS-!"

"A GATO! WE GET IT! STOP SCREAMING! GO TO BED, JOSE!"

"Si…"

_Entry 792_

Why is de song called California Girls?

WHY AIN'T IT HUECO MUNDO GURLS?

Hueco Mundo would be WAYYY better…

But den again…California girls'll bury ya in sand with yer head poppin' out…Hueco Mundo girls would kill ya half ta death…

_Entry 793_

SURPRISE IS COMIN' UP SOON!

But I'm so bored…

So I'm switchin' de halls around again!

Ulquiorra's helpin' this time cuz he's bored! 

I'm not bored…I'm…uh…wanting to see what it is like to switch the halls around…

…Ta slide yer finger across a board?

Exciting…

Not really…

Than why do you do it all day?

Nottin' else ta do…

_Entry 794_

"MAI-CHAN!"

"Hm?"

"ARE YA EXCITED?"

"For what?"

"DE SURPRISE!"

"It involves me again…?"

"I guess…"

"…"

"SO ARE YA EXCITED?"

"YEAH!"

"WOO! PIZZA'S ARRIVIN' ANY SECOND! SURPRISE~!"

"..."

_Entry 795_

"WHAT are you DOING, GIN?"

"Oh, Aizen-taicho! I'm stackin' pizza slices! Want one?" *NOMNOM*

"…No…"

"WHYYY~?"

"Because…I'm lactose…"

"…EAT IT!" *SHOVES PIZZA DOWN THROAT*

"GLUUURRRRBLAPLAPLAA!"

_Entry 796_

I met Pesche ta'day…

He was tryin' ta peek at Cirucci's undies…

He denied it…

Liar liar pants on fire on de telephone wire dats way up higher…

_Entry 797_

Speakin' of liar liars pants on fires…

Tia-chan an' Grimmjow had an argument ta'day…an' it wasn't like de argument 40 some chapters ago…

"BAKA! HOW _DARE_ YOU TRY AND DRAIN MY SWIMMING POOL! DO YOU _KNOW_ HOW MUCH TIME AND MONEY WENT INTO FINDING THAT MUCH CRYSTAL CLEAR WATER? A LOT! WE'RE IN A DESERT FOR AIZEN'S SAKE!"

"I DON'T CARE! YOU TRIED TO DROWN ME THE LAST TIME!"

"CATS CAN'T SWIM! I WAS TRYING TO _SAVE_ YOU! WHAT DO YOU EAT YOU STUPID CAT? YOU'RE HEAVY!"

"I EAT CAT FOO-FISH! UNLIKE SOOOME IDIOTS WHO REFUSE TO EAT WHATS PUT IN FRONT OF HIM!"

"WE ALL KNOW ULQUIORRA'S THE PICKIEST EATER THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN, SMART ONE!"

"OH, YEAH, III'M THE SMART _ONE_! I WILL BE NUMBER ONE!"

"SAYS THE ONE WHO'S NUMBER SIX! Who's closer to being the Primera? The Tercera or the Sexta? Let's hear it!"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

"IT ALREADY IS SHUT! SEE?" *points to hollow mask*

"YOUR MOUTH MOUTH STUPID! AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH! YOU SMELL LIKE MY LITTER BO-I MEAN TRASH!"

"YOU SMELL LIKE YOUR LITTER BOX! USE DEODERANT!"

"EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY AND WISE! HA!"

"…What…? That doesn't make sense…"

"CUZ YOU STAY UP ALL NIGHT! YOU'RE NOT WISE AT ALL!"

"…WELL…" *sticks out tongue* "PLLLBBBT!"

Reaaal mature, Tia-chan…

_Entry 798_

"I feel horrible…"

"HAHAHA!"

"Shut up, Rofly."

"Are ya alright, Mai-chan?"

"No…"

"BWAHAHAHA!"

"LEAVE ROFLY!"

"No, I feel sick…not the "I want to kill Rofly sick," but sick sick…"

That ain't good… the surprise is in two entries…

Oh well…*munches on pizza*

_Entry 799_

I went ta go and buy a gift ta'day…

Grimmjow came wit' me, but he was too good fer de Dollar Store apparently…so I bought another Big Bag an' gave it ta him as his new room…

He already moved in…

Oo, time fer a meeting!

Fun…

_Entry 800_

"SURPRISE~!"

"It's not my birthday…"

"We know~!"

"So…why am I here…?"

"YER DE NEW SEXTA ESPADA, MAI-CHAN!"

"WHAT?"

"But Grimmjow's still yer superior. Yer too strong ta be de Septima, but not strong enough ta beat Grimmjow, so yer BOTH de Sexta!"

"…Joy…"

"And due ta de space problem, yer gonna share headquarters with him! Yer fraccion, Hana, Leola, an' Kiatcero, will get de spare room, ya have to figure things out with Grimm-jow!"

"…Can I just be the Decima…?"

"No, WAHAHAHAHAH!"

"Shut it, Rofly…"

"Oh, I got ya an AWESOME gift, Mai-chan!"

"…"

"HERE!"

*unwraps it*

"…Oh my gosh-!"

_END CHAPTER_

_WHAT IS THE PRESENT?_

Anyways…MAI'S THE SEXTA NOW! 

It wasn't as epic as I originally planned…but oh well, this isn't supposed to be an awesomely epic story. I can only make it funny epic, not epic epic.

And…hmm…oh:

To Axel Harribel-kun: I know I know you're probably wondering "WHAT ABOUT ROFLY?" Answer: Next chapter, send me a PM if you think I'll forget XD

Well, thanks for reading everyone! Whoever can guess Gin's gift to Mai right will get a one-shot from me! Just request who's in it and a theme type whatever it's called.

~A


	81. From Pens to Big Bags to Stories Within!

This is mah diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

Entry 801-810

_Entry 801_

"WHAT IS IT?"

"Nothing…"

"Seriously…?"

"No…"

"TELL ME~!"

"NO!"

"WHYYY~?"

"Because…you would eat it…"

_Entry 802_

Hm…oh, ya must wanna know what I have Mai-chan^^

Well, I gave 'er a(n)

_Entry 803_

Haha, pen ran out o ink^^

Anyways, it's a(n)

_Entry 803_

"OCTOPUS! BAKA!"

Sorry, Aaroniero made mah pen explode…somehow…

Now what was I talkin' 'bout now?

Fergot, oh well^^

_Entry 804_

Well…ya'll never guess where we are right now…

…Really…I don't think you would guess in a million years…

We're kinda stuck…

…along with Aizen-sama and the trashy Sextas…

Ya…we're stuck…

…in Grimmjow and Mai's room…but…

We're also stuck…

…in Grimmjow's Big Bag…

Oh cer-rap, right, Ulquiorra?

Oh trashy crap indeed…

_Entry 805_

...You trashy readers must want to know how we got into this situation…

WELL…there was a meeting… Aizen-sama sent me to go get Grimmjow and Mai, so when I came in here, I saw the big bag.

No one else was in the room, so I assumed that they were in the bag…when I came in…they were…

WELL…I also got stuck since I forgot to hold the door open…and after a while, Aizen-sama came to find me…

He came in and saw us all sitting in different corners of the bag, with Grimmjow sitting in the middle… (we were playing Cat & Mouse)

But HE got stuck in here too…so then, Gin came along singing something with a lot of La La La's…

And…here's how we ended up…

Joy…no wait, emos don't have joy…I mean…

…Boo…I hate my life…

_Entry 806 Grimmjow's Tale o Rimmjow & Ai_

"Why don't we all tell a story!"

"Wonderful idea, Gin!"

"I'll go first!"

"That's great Grimmjow! Make sure it has a beginning, middle, and end! A problem and solution!"

"Oh…alright…hmmm….Once upon a time…there was a damsel in distress…she had a cat…a VERY SMEXY SMEXTA cat! No, a PANTHER! YEAH!"

"…Where are you going with this…?"

"So one day, the cat turned into a man, a VERY SMEXY SMEXTA man! That man was named Gr-!"

"Don't name it your name or anyone we know's name…"

"Darn…his name was…Rimmjow! HA! So he rescued the girl…named M-Ai…yeah…Ai…and they got married and lived happily ever after!"

"…I hate that story…"

_Entry 807 Ulquiorra's Story of Trash_

"I will be teaching you something in MY story."

"Go on, my precious son!"

"…So one day, there was a man…and a woman…"

"Good start!"

"They had just finished their November 15, 2010 Huge Feast of Feast. And they had their maid…um…Berty, throw away everything that they didn't need. The leftovers of November 15, 2010 Huge Feast or Feast and all their paper and plastic and trash like that."

"Wonderful, my son!"

"Shut up, Aizen…-sama…"

"So, all this stuff was taken by that garbage machine of the humans and put in a dump."

"…"

"Afterwards, all the things started to build up and kill seagulls and bats. That stuff caused the factories to make more smoke because they were rivals with the dump."

"Go on, Ulquiorra!"

"…And after a few measly years…the world turned black, rolled over, and died…"

"O.O What was that supposed to teach us?"

"Recycle. November 15 is National Recycle Day…for the American trash…"

"THEN WE DON'T HAVE TO RECYCLE! WOO!"

"Yes, we do Grimmjow. I AM MAKING YOU AAALLL RECYCLE NOW! I HAVE BEEN _TOUCHED_ BY ULQUIORRA'S STORY!"

"…"

_Entry 808 The Importance of Shutting Up by Mai-chan Cifer_

"Once upon a time, there was a cute little girl named Ai and her little brother Billy. Ai had a stalker that didn't act like a stalker. His name was Jae-Jow… Yeah…so one day, Jae-Jow was walking alongside Ai, talking about random stuff."

"Awesome, I bet he was a smexy smexta stalker!"

"…Anywho… he wouldn't shut up, so her ears bled her to death so basically, Jae-Jow killed her, and he's responsible, so because of him, he would never never ever have a real possible chance with Ai. So the lesson here is that once in a while, you need to shut up."

"I hate that story…"

"I think Grimmjow needs to shut up also."

"I second that."

"I agree~!"

"Everyone's against me…: ("

_Entry 809 Our Story of Baizen and Tin_

"Once upon a time…"

"There was a boy named…Tin…Tin Siecharu…"

"He…knew a man named…Baizen…Baizen Bosuke…"

"An' dey…started ta work ta'gether…Baizen-taicho loved Buttyflies…"

"And Tin loved…his friend named…Fan…"

"No he did not! Dey were just FRIENDS!"

"Sure…so…one day, a genii granted their wishes… Baizen got to be a beautiful Buttyfly and Tin got to marry Fan…the end…"

"My story was better. Rimmjow actually looked GOOD!"

"BUT BAIZEN AND TIN GOT THEIR WISHES FULFILLED! BY A GENII!"

_Entry 810_

"WAAAHHHH!"

"YOU DESERVE THAT ROFLY!"

"…Gin…why are you watching TV…"

"It ain't TV, it's mah portable security camera footage^^!"

"…Who's…he?"

"Tia-chan's brother."

"…"

"Axel."

"…"

"…Oh, he's killin' Rofly…an' makin' Wonderwiece watch hentai…"

"WAHHHH!"

"Hear?"

"…Disturbing…for what reason?"

"…Somethin' about takin' Mai-chan's number…"

"Odd…"

"HEEELLLPPP!"

"So…6.5…do you have anything to say?"

"…Since when was I six point five…?"

"Since I remembered that Axel is 3.5"

"…"

"Anything to say?"

"…THANK YOU, AXEL-KUN!"

"That's not what I meant…"

_END CHAPTER_

Dear Axel-kun: Sorry if it isn't as torturing as you expected. But at least I fit it in…and you appeared! Hope you don't mind, B.T.W I drew Bass. It sucks. I MIGHT upload it to deviant art.

Dear Readers: Hey, I have a deviant art! I'll put al ink LOL Typo LINK in my profile.

So…unless you don't want me to, I'm starting another Big Bag! Cept it's Grimmjow's big bag.

Oh, and there were NO right guesses! But it hasn't been reveled yet, so~ You can guess again!  
YAY.

And no, it really isn't edible, sorry XD

But if no one guesses right, then my 500th REVIEWER (if I get to that many) can request a one-shot from me if they want. ^^ I'm just bored and want to write something…kinda…

Well~

Thank you everyone, those reviewing, and those for reading!

ARIGATO MINNA-CHAAN~!

Too bag chapter 100 isn't that far away, eh?

_~A_


	82. A Day With Rofly

Gin's Diary

_Diary-kun says hiya ta all o ya._

_Entry 811_

*yawn*

HIIII

…Trash…

AWWW, EMO BOY NO LIIKE LAUGHY BOY?

…This is Ulquiorra Cifer…and Roflmao Unter…who is hyped up on sugar…lots and lots of sugar…

YYYESSSSS!

_Entry 812_

Ya must be wonderin' how we got out o de bag.

We were never stuck ta begin with.

Hehe…how silly o us…

**OH, YOU SILLY BOY~!**

…Did Ulquiorra tell ya who's hyped up on sugar…?

_Entry 813_

"SUUUGAR SUGAR, SUGAR, SUGAR!"

…Aizen-taicho is stupid…

Cuz he took everyone (1-6.5+Tousen-san) on a mission…CEPT ME…

He said cuz I had de responsibility o watchin' Rofly…

. KIDS…WHO ARE HYPED UP ON SUGAR…

"I SENSE DAAAT SOOOMEOONNEE WROTE _**SUGAR**_!"

_Entry 814_

"So…Rofly-kun…"

"SUUUGAAAR!"

…I dun't know HOW this happened…

"Ya…"

"SHOOGA~MOMA!"

"…"

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

…Ima sell him ta de zoo…

_Entry 815_

"What do ya mean that ya don't buy kids?"

"Sir, you can't sell your child to our zoo…" 

"HE AIN'T A KID!"

"…"

"He's a…HYSNOX…"

"Which is…?"

"A rare species that's like man…thirdly hyena, thirdly snake, an' thirdly fox…an' human…"

"…Sir…I think…you need to be arrested…"

_Entry 816_

"I CAN'T GO TA JAIL!"

"Why not?"

"Cuz, yer Honor, I got dis lil boy ta take care of!"

"…"

"SHOOGA-DADDY!"

"…Um…let's…send you to jail…for an hour…"

"YIPEE!"

"SHUT IT, ROFLY!"

_Entry 817_

"So…"

"EHH! NEW GUY!"

"E-eh…hi…"

"HI! I'm Yuki!"

"…Ain't dat a girl name?"

"ARE YOU MAKIN' FUN OF MY NAME?"

"NO!"

"This is my partner in crime, Mikuru!"

"…Ain't dat ALSO a girl name?"

"SHHH! Mikuru is very sensitive! Learn to respect a bro, dude!" 

"…Hai…"

"Who's your partner, Gin?"

"HOW DO YA KNOW MY NAME?"

"Him."

"HEHEHE! GINNY-GIN-GIN! SHOOGA-DADDY~!"

"'Ey, lil boy, what's your name?"

"WAHAHAHA! SUGAR!"

"Eyy! Nice name, Sugar! I have a wrestler uncle named Sugar! He was a KILLER! His criminal name was Sugar Princess!"

…These people are WHACK…

_Entry 818_

"WAAHHHH!"

"Why you cryin', Ginny?"

"I DUN'T WANNA BE HERE!"

"…I don't think Ginny here should be so miserable, what do you think Mikuru?"

"I agree, happiness is good."

"WAAHHH!"

"If yer happy then you know it, clap you hands!"

*Rofly, Mikuru, and Yuki: CLAP, CLAP*

_Entry 819_

I AM FREEEE!

WAHAHAHA~!

*Runs back ta Las Noches*

_Entry 820_

Oh lookie, it's my present ta Mai-chan!

Looks like she used it a lot!

It's a wonderful rainbow colored paperclip!

But I feel like I'm forgettin' somethin'…

Somethin'…that rhymes with Zofly…

_END CHAPTER_

…_Yeah…I'm not sure how good this is…_

_Dear applestoapples: I like your idea! If you don't mind, I'll use it in the next chapter or something like that!_

_Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. I hope you stick around for the last 18 chapters._

_~A_


	83. Ichigo and Urahara Come Into the Picture

Gin's Diary

_Diary-kun says hi ta ya all._

_Entry 821_

Rofly-kun passed out from 'is sugar rush.

But now…

He's foamin' at de mouth…

De zoo mailed him ta me…'parently, they 'knew a guy' who could mail Rofly ta Hueco Mundo…

STALKERS!

_Entry 822_

I'm so bored wit'out anyone ta bother…

So I'm goin' through people's stuff!

I found a hair dryer in Ulquiorra's room!

De sad thing…his room's bigger den mine : (

Stupid Aizen-taicho…

_Entry 823_

I'm watchin' de news…

In Aizen-taicho's huge TV room!

An' ya'll never guess what I saw on TV.

A serial killer dat went by de name Sugar Princess is on de run.

Dang, but he looks TOUGH! KILLER!

But he also wears a pink dress…similar ta de one Peach wears…

Creepy…

_Entry 824_

*SIIIGH*

I'ma so bored…

So I invited a friend over…

Some o ya might know him.

_Entry 825_

"WAHHH! WHERE THE HELL AM I?"

"In Hueco Mundo, Las Noches, Ichimaru Gin's room!"

"YOU?...!"

"ME?"

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

"It's my room, Ichigo-kun."

"…Are you a pedophile?"

"Ew, why does ev'ryone think that?"

"Urahara-san thinks that, and he's the weirdest pedo ever."

"I ain't a pedo! I'm only like…FIVE years older den ya!"

"…In living years…in Soul Society years you're a pedo."

"…Dat ain't a number…"

_Entry 826_

"So…Urahara-san, Ichimaru, Ichimaru, Urahara-san."

"I like yer hat, Hat-n-Clogs-san!"

"I like your attitude, Smiley-kun!"

"…So…should I tell Tessai to get some tea…?"

*ignores Ichigo* "Do you know how to do the Macarena?"

"O course I do! EEYY MACARENA!"

"How about the Funky Chicken?"

"Nah, yer gonna have ta teach me!"

"Of course! To the basement, Smiley-kun!"

_Entry 827_

…Ichimaru and Urahara-san are doing the stupidest thing ever…

…I tell them that there's no dance called the Funky Chicken, and even if there was, it wouldn't play classical music while trying to spin on your head, and flapping your 'wings' to the 'rockin' beat'…

…but of course, they ignore me…

…The strawberry needs some love…

_Entry 828_

So…I'm gonna go on a walk.

And take Gin's diary with me…

Just because…

Maybe Rukia will use this to somehow find all of the secrets that Ichimaru knows and use it against him.

_Entry 829_

"RUKIA!"

"ICHIGO!"

"You'll never guess what I found in Gin's journal!"

"That's LOW, Ichigo, going through another man's journal? LOW! That is just a sign of WAR! Do you have any RESPECT? You don't see ME going through Nii-sama's journal unless he's out of town and I'm pretty sure I won't get killed for looking through it!"

O.O "Rukia…Byakuya has a journal?"

"Don't laugh, baka, I've seen you write in a pink notebook!"

"…It's for school…"

"Oh yeah? What's the project for?"

"Um…economics…and I couldn't find any other notebook…"

"…I don't think that going on about how I looked at the beach has anything to do with economics…"

"…You don't know that…"

_Entry 830_

Well, it is de end o de day an' I'm stayin' at Kisuke-san's place.

DAAANNG did he go NUTS

Ya can tell cuz he's coolin' down an' I somehow changed inta his hat an' jacket…

…An' he's runnin' around in a speedo…

…an' using Ururu's skirt as a hat…

Tessai-san freaked OUT when he saw us!

I'll take a picture an' send it ta ya all some day^^

But fer now…

"THIS MEDICENE WILL CURE YOUR TUMMY ACHES!"

"IT EXPIRED 60 YEARS AGO!"

Wish us luck!

_END CHAPTER_

_Next time, we get to meet a killer. I dare you to guess who the killer is XDD_

_No, it's not Light from Death Note…OR MELLO…definitely not Misa or Mikami…_

_Anyways…sooo…ya…Gin meets Urahara…interesting…LOL_

_~A_


	84. Sugar and the Lego Mission

Gin's Diary

_Diary-kun says hi ta ya all._

_Entry 831_

"Last night, you two got WASTED~!"

"TURN OFF MY PINK LAVA LAMP! I TOLD you all to NEVER touch it!"

"…Um…that's my skirt…not your lava lamp…"

"WOOAAAH, what's DAT?"

"It's a washing machine."

"WEIRD."

"…Don't you have modern inventions in Hueco Mundo…?"

"Yup, cept I dun't do my own laundry, usually I just toss mah stuff in wit' Grimmjow's."

"…"

"…so…wanna…see if we could…fit in it…?"

"Sure!"

_Entry 832_

…We're stuck…

…in a washing machine…

…it's huge…

So we have enough space!  


Kisuke-san, who's puppy dog undies are these…?

…Um…they are certainly Jinta-kun's…

...But it says 'Urahara Size'…

…Yoruchi-san made them as a joke…

…but it says 'Here are the puppy panties that you ordered, Urahara-san. From Ishida Uryu. PS You are a sick and disgusting man.'

_Entry 833_

"EHHH! My nephew told me about you, Ginny! AND EEEY! You the guy I buy crack from!"

Oh-em-gee…(in terms that Tia-chan would put in)…it's SUGAR PRINCESS…

"DON'T KILL ME, I KNOW YOUR ORDER IS LATE~"

"That's why I'm here! PAY UP, MAN!"

"I DON'T HAVE IT!"

"…Then PAY!"

"NO!"

"FINE…we'll just go on a little _walk in the park_…you too, Ginny!"

Eep…I think I'm gonna die…

…I dun't wanna die…

_Entry 834_

…we're literally walkin' in the park…

"We are not WALKING, Gin-chan, but SKIPPING! OOO, a BUTTERFLY! Isn't it BEE-YOO-TEE-FUL?"

"O.O…no…"

"IN THE NAME OF BEE-YOO-TEE-FUL BUTTERFLIES, I SHALL KILL YOOOO!"

"NO! DUN'T KILL ME! I GOTTA FUTURE!"

"BUTTERFLY~BLAST!" *throws a butterfly squeaky toy*

"…Ow?"

"DARN RIGHT IT SHOULD HURT!"

_Entry 835_

"Ya know, Aizen-taicho might like ya a lot, Sugar-san."

"NO! Call me Sugar-CHAN!"

"…Sugar…just…Sugar…"

"Anyways, I think Aizen WOULD like you, Sugar!"

"Really?"

"Ya! Aizen-taicho LOVES butterflies!"

"In fact, let's go visit him now! We can help out his mission in the Soul Society!"

"…How do ya know 'bout that…?"

"CUZ! I saw him sneak through my senkai gate! He took my second favorite hat…it was pink striped…"

_Entry 836_

"KUROSAKI-SAN~!"

"Urahara-san?"

"We are going to invade the Soul Society!"

"What…?"

"To help Aizen!"

"WHY?"

"He's invading the Soul Society for a VERY good reason."

"…and that would be…?"

"Oh, I can explain dis. Yamamoto buried all de Legos in a secret location. All captains dat are current know de location!"

"…"

"It's a LEGO MISSION~!"

"I'll do it…but only to see the look on Byakuya's face when he sees us!"

_Entry 837_

"ICHIGO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"C'mon, we're going on a Lego Mission, Rukia!" 

"…isn't there a video game like that?"

"…LET'S GO!"

"But…what would Nii-sama think?"

"He's the one that's depriving…people of their precious Legos!"

"You mean like that commercial…? LEGO MY EGGO!"

"Yeah, Byakuya deprives people of waffles too. I'm sure of it!"

"He does…he wouldn't let me have the new Chappy shaped Waffles…"

_Entry 838_

"YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT THE PEOPLE HE WAS DEPRIVING LEGOS AND WAFFLES OF WERE ICHIMARU!"

"Ya, he DID take away my waffles when we were kids…an' ate 'em all right in front o me…"

"Such a pig, Smiley-kun."

"I know, huh?"

"Oink…"

"Mooo…"

"Ya fail Ichi-kun."

"I didn't say anything!"

"Exactly."

_Entry 839_

*we're fallin' through de sky~!*

"WAAAHHHH!"

"ALRIGHT, MINNA-CHAN! WE ARE ABOUT TO LAND IN MY OLD DIVISION! YOU MIGHT RUN INTO NEMU OR MAYURI-KUN!"

"ARE YOU _TRYING_ TO KILL US?"

"I NEVER GOT INTO SEIREITEI THIS WAY BEFORE~!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE THIS IS THE ILLEGAL WAY~!"

"BOY, IS NII-SAMA GOING TO KILL ME!"

"BUT ONLY IS HE CATCHES YOU!"

"YOU GOT DAT RIGHT BRO~!"

…I think Rukia-chan got a screw loose…

**Agreed…heck, have you SEEN her drawing skills?**

Yeah, it's awesome! MAD SKILLZ! I wish I could draw like dat^^

_Entry 840_

Well, we're campin' out in a HUGE closet o Kurotsuchi-taicho's fer de night.

It's cozy in 'ere…

But it smells like a burning banana tunic made o paper.

Which smells HORRIBLE. Trust me, ya dun't wanna know.

Ya, Ichi-kun and Rukia-chan are sleepin' in de corner, Urahara-san's drawin' out a plan, an' Sugar is throwin' fish out o de closet, just ta scare random Shinigami. (He has high spiritual pressure. Ca-winky-dink much?)

"Ooo, LOOKIE! I sell fish too!"

…Urahara-san just went out dere and is actually sellin' fish…

An' makin' a good plenty…

I FOUND A NEW FUTURE JOB!

(Aizen-taicho's plan sounds like it'll fail an'ways)

_END CHAPTER_

_Review if you feel like it._

…_I feel like making a video for this fic at the end of 100 chapters…just shows how much I wanna thank you guys an' gals! XD _

_Anyways…INVASION OF THE SOUL SOCIETY! YIPEE~! XDD_

…_Awkwardish random moment past…thanks for all the reviews everyone!_

_~Amaterasu_


	85. Shunsui and Nanao Join the Mission!

Gin's Diary

_Entry 841_

"Ginny-chan…?"

"WAAHHH!"

"Good morning~!"

"SUGAR!"

"Shh~! Don't want the big bad shinigami to hear you~! Any WHO, the others have already started off while you were asleep! SO being the KIND and GENEROUS person that I am, I waited for you so we could be buddies in the buddy system~!"

Help meh : (

_Entry 842_

"Okay, Sugar, ya knock out dat man right there an' I'll distract 10th-Taicho-san. Den, we'll check his office fer de info 'bout de Legos an Eggos!"

"Hai~!"

"Gin!"

"Ran-cha-!"

"BUTTERFLY BLAST!" *throws a butterfly squeaky toy*

*KO*

"Sugar, ya BAKA! Dat was just Ran-chan ya knocked out!"

"I know what ta do with her body! They will NEVER EVER find her!"

"…She ain't dead…"

_Entry 843_

We're takin' a coffee break…in Ran-chan's room…

We hid her in de cough in Shiro's office…like…under de cushions…Ya could see her CLEARLY…

But when Shiro walked in…he just said "Wow, my couch looks lumpy…" After he poked it, he said "… It should go on a diet…"

De boy needs glasses.

_Entry 844_

"Sugar…we need ta GO! Dun't drool over whatever yer droolin' over!"

"But…he's beautiful…" 

"O.O Dun't wanna know…"

"LOOK AT HIM! It's such a SHAME that he doesn't wear clothes! He would look GREAT in this little turtle neck that I had!" 

"…"

He's talkin' 'bout a CAT…a CAT fer Aizen's sake!

…Dern my screwed up mind…

_Entry 845_

"You know who I absolutely ADORE?"

"Sugar, we NEED ta GO! Someone's comin' right 'round de corner!" 

"Katy Perry!"

"Crap! Duck an' hide!"

"Hey! I heard you adore Katy Perry! So do I!" yelled Pink wearin'-taicho…who happened ta be goin' ta visit Shiro… "Hi Gin!"

It's a wonder why he ain't tryin' ta kill me right now…

"I tried to get her to autograph my hat, but she thought I was a girl and called me a homo…Oi, what's a homo anyways?"

_Entry 846_

'Parently, Shunsui dun't got de Legos or Eggos… But he was deprived o 'em, so he's helpin' us now…

…an' surprsin'ly…Nanao-chan's helpin' us too…(She's actually younger den me! I'm only sayin' I cuz Shunsui is jealous o my age^^)

But I'm kinda worried I might not make it…ev'ry time we dun't do somethin' right…she'll hit us HARD wit' her Encyclopedia…

But Nanao-chan promised she ain't gonna hit ME if I get 'er an Arrancar Encycloepedia (cuz dere a lot harder an' thicker) (HEHE dat's what she said~!)

_Entry 847_

We're gonna have lunch now!

Just thought I'd let ya know^^ Why don't ya join us, Diary-kun? Nanao-chan's an AWESOME cook!

_Entry 848_

"Oh no…"

"What's wrong, Ichimaru-kun?" 

"Diary-kun's all dirty…"

"Well, that wouldn't have happened if you didn't try to feed him, now would it?"

"…It'd still happen."

_Entry 849_

"OHMAHGAWSH~!"

"WHAT?"

"Shunsui just proposed to Nanao!" 

"…Sugar…?"

"HMM~? OH THIS IS LOVELY! I ALWAYS WANTED TO DESIGN A WEDDING!" 

"NO!" *hits him with Encyclopedia*

"…He does dat ev'ry month…"

_Entry 850_

"Well, Ichimaru-kun, I know one thing for sure about your Lego and Eggo Mission."

"An' it would be?"

"Ukitake-taicho would not have it." 

"Why?"

"He was deprived of waffles and Legos also. He's just peacefully refusing to help out the sou-taicho."

"C'mon! Jushiro threw a NINJA-MONKEY because it was depriving him of waffles!" 

"…"

"HYYYY-YAAA~!"

_End chapter_

_RANDOMNESS…Sorry for the shortness, I just wanted to give you a FIRST SNOW OF THE YEAR (well, actually first snow of the SEASON) present! YIPEE~! XDD I made a snow angel, and a snow king named Snow Mon!_

_We packed snow into a bucket, dumped it over, and when it got kicked, I took half of it and made it Snow Mon's crown. He had one long and one short stick arm two rocks for eyes, and a stick mouth._

_He also has bucket shaped snow…structures as his castle, and a bucket by him to collect snow. _

_He's just so awesome! And he's barely shorter than 2 feet tall! XDDD Ya, I only used one medium-sized-ish snow ball that was rolled or whatever XDD_

_Well, I might write a Mai X Grimmjow winter fic. Probably fluff._

_ANYWAYS After this, I might either write Byakuya's Journal or Mai's Diary…_

_DEPENDING…on YOU PEOPLEZ~!_

_ANY WHO…_

_Review if you have the time/feel like it…_

_Arigato, minna-chan~!_

_~MAY THOMAS_

_(LOLOL Typo! HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT CAME FROM O_O *IS SCARED* LOLOLOL XDDD_

_~AMATERASU AI_

_PS: SNOW~!~!~!~!~!_


	86. Dark Side has Cookies and Cookie Dough

_Entry 851_

Mornin' Diary-kun!

We're sleepin' in Shiro-san-taicho's closet. (Big Shiro, not Lil' Shiro)

He's makin' us waffles.

SHHHUUUSSHH! Unless ya wanna deprive us o waffles. If ya do…then…

I DUN'T LIKE YOU.

_Entry 852_

Nanao-chan an' Pin Wearin'-taicho are gonna go and see if Soi-Fon-taicho-chan wants ta join de mission!

But I hope she ain't gonna try an' kill us wit' her lil' Buttyfly marks.

Cuz I ain't gonna look good wit' Buttyflies on mah clothes…

Dis is de only jacket Aizen-taicho didn't ruin wit' Buttyfly drawin's…

_Entry 853_

"URAHARA-SAN!"

"Hai~?"

"Everyone forgot about us!"

"Eh?"

"Rukia and I haven't been mentioned for TWO WHOLE chapters! You haven't been either!"

"Oh…"

"Aren't you gonna do anything about it?"

"…No…"

_Entry 854_

Yoruichi-san decided ta join us.

"Aww, look, it's Bya-yabo's little friend! What's your name, fox face?"

"Gin…Ichimaru Gin…"

"Aww, you're just as weird as Bya-yabo!"

"…Thank ya…? Gee…I never talked ta a talkin' cat before…"

Den de 'cat' transformed ta Yoruichi-san de lady.

O.O …I kinda like 'er…

"PERV!"

_Entry 855_

"YORUICHI-SAMA~! OH WITH YOUR BEAUTY I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH~!"

"Oi, Soi-Fon-taicho-san!"

"GIN? Oh Yoruichi-sama, tell me it isn't so! You haven't fallen to…the DARK SIDE…have you…?"

"Why not? They have cookies! :D"

"Not just cookies, but FRESH cookies!"

_Entry 856_

"Soi-fon!"

"Hai, Yoruichi-sama?"

"Have you ever been deprived up waffles or Legos?"

"Well…I never really liked Legos…but…you never gave me any waffles…even when I asked…"

"Then join our mission so we can get our Legos and Eggos back!"

"But, you were the one that depri-!"

"Join me, Soi-Fon!"

"But-!"

"Just join, or I'm gonna think that you're not joining because you have a crush on Kisuke."

"…Fine…"

_Entry 857_

"Soi-Fon-taicho-chan!"

"…What?"

"Wanna eat some fish?"

"Sure."

"Urahara-san!"

"I SELL FISH! SO BUY YOUR FISH FROM MEE~!"

"...Who knows what that man did to those poor fish..."

_Entry 858_

I can't believe Yoruichi-sama joined the dark side just because of some stupid cookies! NO I DON'T CARE THAT THEY'RE FRESH AND CHOCOLATE CHIP!

**Ne, ne, Soi-Fon-taicho-chan, we got cookie dough too.**

Must resist temptations...but...

"Oh screw Yamamoto! Give the cookie dough!"

_Entry 859_

"What're de magic words, Soi-Fon-taicho-chan?"

"Give it to me."

"Nuh-uh~!"

"NOW."

"Nope."

"Sting all enemies to death, Suzumeba-!"

"CORRECT, YA, WHATEVER! Here, just take de cookie dough an' dun't kill me."

_Entry 860_

"Soi-Fon! If you really wanted cookie dough THAT bad, then you could've just come over! I bake cookies on the weekends and Tuesdays and sometimes Thursdays!"

"Really~?"

"...but then again...I still get scared every time you come around..."

"..Why's that?"

"I thought you were trying to murder me!"

"Nah, it was just some mission for nude pictures or everyone."

"...That's even worse somehow..."

_END CHAPTER_

_So...not that great, but I updated yipee skipee_

_lol ya, I just love Ginny-kun's Diary too much to stay away from it._

_Anyways..._

_Link to my deviant art is NOW in my profile! Yay! Feel free to check it out, I don't have much on there yet, but I will once my winter break starts! (WOO! CAN'T WAIT TILL TUESDAY~!)_

_Anyways, please review if you have time/have the desire to^^_

_Thanks for all the reviews everyone! After doing the math, I found out that I get 5.6823529 reviews every chapter! Yay! XD Or I'll round it up to 6 reviews a chapter...EVEN BETTER! XDDD_

Well, arigato, minna-chan!

~Amaterasu Ai


	87. Mistletoe

This is mah Diary-kun, Ichimaru Gin's Diary

_Entry 861_

Daaang I haven't written in 'ere for a long time!

Guess what? It's Christmas!

We met up wit' Aizen-taicho, Ulquiorra, Szayel, Grimmjow, an' a few others…

An' surprisingly, Yamamoto an' Aizen-taicho decided ta put de war on hold an' call it a truce fer de holidays!

We're all stayin' in our old divisions. I get ta have Tia-chan, Grimmjow, Mai-chan, an' Ulquiorra in mah barracks.

…Dey scared de cray outta Izuru…

_Entry 862_

"Ichimaru-taicho…why are you hanging a plant in the door way?"

"It's mistletoe, Izuru."

"…Um…why are you hanging a mistletoe in the doorway?"

"Cuz, it'll be exciting ta see what happens."

"Does…the plant do tricks? Or blow up?"

"No…if ya stand under it, ya gotta kiss de other person standing under it."

Dat's when Izuru suddenly paled.

…Crap…we're standin' under de mistletoe…

_Entry 863_

"Oi, Grimmjow."

"What?"

"Ya see dat plant over dere."

"…The one over that passed out lieutenant of yours?"

"Ya."

"What about it?"

"If ya stand under it, ya gotta kiss de other person standin' under it."

"…Did he stand under it next to Halibel or something?"

"…No…"

"…Ulquiorra? Cuz I would pass out if I had to kiss Ulquiorra."

"…Sure.."

_Entry 864_

It's now lunch time, so we're all sittin' in mah office, openin' last minute secret santa gifts.

I got a tooth brush from Ulquiorra.

Grimmjow got fish from Tia-chan.

Mai-chan got a flower from Izuru (he just went out ta de yard and picked one)

Ulquiorra got sweat pants from Mai-chan. (She got some from Ran-chan)

Tia-chan got eyeliner from me.

An' Izuru got happy pills from Grimmjow.

Oh ya, an' Ran-chan came by…

Her gift ta me was a slap ta de face screaming "HOW COULD YOU BETRAY THE DORITO SIDE?"

Den I replied. "Cuz I like Lays better."

…I got another slap fer dat…

_Entry 865_

So we're all just standin' around an' chattin. After I told ev'ryone 'bout de mistletoe, they all stayed away from de door.

Dat is, until I told Ulquiorra ta go an' get me some sake an' Mai-chan chose dat moment ta go through de doorway.

I, o course, stood dere with a huge grin, wantin' ta see what happens.

"…"

Well, Mai-chan was 'bout ta lean over an' kiss 'im on de cheek when Grimmjow ruined de moment.

"NOO~!" he yelled…as he jumped tackled epic failingly an' knocked Mai-chan outta de way.

"What the hell, Grimmjow? !"

"Hehe, wrong person ta push."

"Now you have to kiss Ulquiorra," stated Tia-chan as she (I think) smirked.

"NOOO!"

"I refuse, trash."

O course, Ulquiorra refusin's no fun…

"I guess ya just hug each other den. I just 'bout squeezed de life out o Izuru."

_Entry 866_

So we all went outside ta sit on de roof while de hugged in privacy.

_That sounds kind of wrong._

Ya, just ta humiliate 'em more. By de way, were ya really 'bout ta kiss Ulquiorra?

_Don't start. We should go check on Grimmjow and Ulquiorra-sama before they squeeze each other to death._

~Inside under de mistletoe~

Well…we found 'em under de mistletoe still…but dey were tryin' ta kill each other…kinda…

"Do they realize we're standing right here?" whispered Izuru.

"Nuh-uh."

"You're going to have to squeeze harder if you want to kill me, trash. I have to deal with the onna hugging me every time I let her go outside."

"Well, you're not dealin' with some human girl; you're dealin' with a panther here."

Right dere, I could almost swear I saw Ulqui-orra smirk.

"Of course I am baka neko." …Den he started 'pettin' him…

"Oi! Stop Messin' with my hair!"

"Oh? Did you just finish grooming yourself?"

"No!"

"Didn't groom this morning? Hm, your hair is pathetic trash anyways."

"Well…your mom!"

"I don't have a mother."

"Your face!"

"What about my face?"

"Nothing!"

"Exactly."

"Baka!"

"Baka _neko_."

"ARRG!"

Grimmjow-OWNED

_Entry 867_

"Oh, Gin! Merry Christmas!"

"Ya too, Aizen-taicho."

"I got you something~!"

"Oh really? Well, as a thank ya gift, ya can have a dried persimmon!"

"…You didn't get me a gift…?"

"Errm…o course I did! 'Ere! Um…pick some persimmons on de way out!"

"And here I went through all the trouble of buying you a 1000 piece puzzle!"

"…"

"What did you get ME, Aizen-sama?"

"Oh, Ulquiorra, my loyal son! I'm giving you a ball of yarn! Knit yourself something nice, Ulqui!"

"…Please do not call me Ulqui, it is disturbing…"

_Entry 868_

It's evenin' now…

An' I just got de loveliest gift eva^^

Ran-chan came by under de mistletoe~

*sigh* But after she kissed me, she stuffed a sweet potato in my face…

_Entry 869_

It's close ta midnight… Like…11:59

"Hey, Grimmjow?"

"Yeah, Mai?"

"Come over here."

"Okay…what's up?"

"Hm, why don't you look up and see for yourself?"

He looked up…an' grinned.

It was de mistletoe itself.

"Merry Christmas, Grimmjow," said Mai-chan as she kissed 'im.

_Entry 870_

*sigh* It's December 26 now…Christmas is over…but ev'ryone didn't try ta kill each other…as much…

We're all actually gettin' along^^

Tia-chan an' Ulqui-orra were sleepin' back ta back on de couch. (Dere was a book called El Corazon between 'em, de book dat Aizen-taicho had us read fer his Readin' Buddies)

Izuru was sleepin' in mah chair at mah desk. (Ya, we were all too lazy ta go ta de barracks, but I should move all may belongin's an' put down some newspaper on de desk cuz dat boy's droolin' like a waterfall.

Grimmjow an' Mai-chan are both curled up on de chair, sleepin' peacefully (Ya, who knew dey settled it out cuz dey share a room now?)

An' I'm leavin' de barracks in Izuru's charge while I head over ta de tenth.

"Merry Christmas, Shiro-taicho-san."

"Whatever."

*sigh* kids an' dere phases.

An' me, I'm spendin' one more Christmas wit' Ran-chan.

Merry Christmas, minna-chan, from Ichimaru Gin. _And Matsumoto Rangiku!_

_END CHAPTER_

Like it says; Merry Christmas everyone!

Oh, and please vote for the poll in my profile, it's about the next story I'm starting after I finish this one.

Please review if you have the time/the desire to. (Cuz ya know ya wanna click that button to let me know if you're still there^^)

Whew, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! (In case I don't update on New Years)

And YES, I just HAD to add a GrimMai moment! Sorry if there are any GrimmjowXOC haters out there XDD

Buh-bya for now!

~Amaterasu Ai


	88. The Mission, the Gotei

This is mah Diary-kun, Ichimaru Gin's Diary

_Entry 871_

Well, over de past few hours…the most surprisin' thing happened…

We now got almost ev'ry taicho fer de mission.

Here's how it happened.

_Entry 872_

So…we were in de middle o a fight…wit' Kuchiki-taicho…by de fourth squad…

"OWWWW! Kami, do you KNOW how EASY it is to LOSE your ARM when your hollow remains are THERE?" screeched Mai-chan.

"WHY are you TALKING like THIS?" asked Bya-kun.

"BEACAUSE you nearly CHOPPED my ARM OFF!"

"Kuchiki-taicho! How could you hurt a little girl like that?"

"I'm not little…"

"She's not little."

"STILL! Why are you here?"

"Err…we're part of the Lego and Eggo Mission…"

"Oh…I've always secretly supported them…I'll join you!"

An' den she started healin' ev'ryone who's injured…on our team…

_Entry 873_

"Who're you?"

"Kommomura-taicho."

"Uh-huh…"

"Gin, you should know me, I'm a captain. You came to squad for that Captains Lunch once?"

"…Dun't ring a bell…"

"What are you doing here anyways?"

"We're gonna raid Seireitei fer Legos and Eggos, wanna join?"

"…Sure…"

_Entry 874_

"GIIN!"

"Shiro-taicho!"

"How DARE you hurt everyone!"

"No, ya got it wrong. Yama-ji's hurtin' ev'ryone by deprivin' 'em of Legos an' Eggos."

"Oh…you're right…"

"Join us?"

"Sure."

"DOWN WITH LEGOS AND EGGOS!" cheers Abarai…

"Ban-KAI!"

Renji- SCREWED

_Entry 875_

"GIN! FIGHT ME~!"

"Zaraki-san? If ya fight me, den yer givin' up de privilege ta fight Yama-ji an' Bya-kun."

"WHAT?"

"Join us on our mission!"

"Nope."

"…I'll keep Yachiru off yer back fer a whole day."

"Deal!"

_Entry 876_

Startin' tomorrow…I gotta take care o Yachiru…

: (

_Entry 877_

"I'll let ya dissect de Legos an' Eggos ta see if dere rigged."

"DEAL! But you have to HELP me dissect an ARRANCAR! Like…YOUUUU!"

"Trash."

Den de second scariest starin' contest in history began.

De scariest was Unohana VS Mayuri

Izuru had passed out after five seconds…

_Entry 878_

"READY FER DE RAID?"

"HAI~!"

"NO! This is against the LAW!" (shouted Byakuya)

"Your MOM'S against the law, dude." (said Grimmjow)

"Be QUIET, trash!"

"Don't steal my line." (said Ulquiorra)

"You face."

"My face has nothing to do with this."

"Fine, your mom's face."

"BURN, Ulquiorra, BURN!"

_Entry 878_

Well…

I dun't know what ta write here…

I know I'm wastin' precious paper dat de children in somewhere need, but I'm bored.

So I'm gonna do somethin'.

…I just dun't exactly know what…

_Entry 879_

Hmmm…

**SMILEY-KUN!**

"Hiya, Yachiru!"

"GIMME SUGAR!"

"Ya want Sugar?"

"Uh-huh!"

So I tossed her Sugar de PERSON.

She freaked OUT!

_Entry 880_

Guess what Aizen-taicho got fer Christmas from Yamamoto?

A vacuum.

Yama-ji said dat it represents how much Aizen-taicho sucks.


	89. A Day with Yachiru

_Entry 881_

I gotta take care o Yachiru ta'day…

So I went back ta Hueco Mundo and got de big bag.

An' stuffed if wit' candy.

…Lots an' lots an' lots o candy…

_Entry 882_

Ya'll never believe it…

It's been five minutes an' Yachiru ate all de candy…

Now she's BORED…

…wit' a major sugar-rush…

_Entry 883_

"Smiley-kun, I'm BORED!"

"Wanna play wit' Aizen-taicho's present?"

"I LOVE presents!"

So I handed her de vacuum.

"I don't like it~!"

Den she proceeded ta go an' make a huge mess in my office…

…an' Izuru's…

…an' where all de Espada were sleepin'…

…Den Tia came back an' called me a pig…

…an' made me clean up de mess…

_Entry 884_

"Oi, Ichimaru, don't you need a cleaning outfit?"

"Nuh-uh, Grimmjow. I ain't wearin' a butler suit an' servin' ya."

"No, not a butler suit."

"Eh?"

"…A French maid outfit…"

I punched 'im in de face fer dat.

_Entry 885_

I asked Grimmjow (after he bled 'is nose out) what he was doin' wit' a French maid costume.

He said dat he was gonna try an' convince Mai-chan ta wear it.

He said dat it was gonna take a REAAAL long time…

An' a bunch a bruises an' bloody noses…

…I got a feelin' dat it's gonna come up sooner or later…

_Entry 886_

"Smiley-kun!"

"Yachiru! We have ya been? Zaraki-taicho-san came ta see how ya were doin' an' nearly killed me!"

"I was hiding!"

"Where?"

"In your haori!"

"…I dun't wanna know…"

_Entry 887_

**It's been most of the chapter and I'm barely in it~!**

Yachiru-chan…yer in most o it…

**I mean just cuz it's Smiley-kun's Diary doesn't mean he gets to be the main character!**

Ya it does…

**NO! I should be in it too!**

…No.

…**I'm gonna scream then.**

Ya, I'm really scared, Yachiru.

… "**KEN-CHAN~! SMILEY-KUN IS BEING MEAN TO ME~!"**

Oh shi-

_Entry 888_

**Hahaha~! Smiley-kun's at Re-chan's!**

**He's all bloody and hurt!**

**Haha~ Ken-chan had so much fun!**

**But Smiley-kun looked scared…**

**He must be a good actor and wanted to help Ken-chan have fun!**

_Entry 889_

**I'm visiting Smiley-kun!**

"Yachiru-chan…"

"What, Smiley-kun? You had fun right?"

"No…but…if I die…tell Rangiku that she can have all the dried persimmons and sake in my desk…"

"What about the candy?"

"She can have tha-"

"KEN-CHA-!"

"YOU HAVE IT…"

_Entry 890_

"Ran-Ran!"

"Yachiru?"

"Smiley-kun died."

"Wh…what?"

"You heard me :D"

"Gin…"

"You get his sake and dried persimmons! I get the candy!"

"…Wait…"

"Hm~?"

"He's not dead is he…?"

"No, but I wanted the candy…wanna go kill him? Ken-chan can help!"

"NO!"

_END CHAPTER_

_So…Mai's Diary is next…please vote in the poll on my profile…_

_I already have a buncha ideas, but feel free to throw in your own…_

_Anyways, ya…school starts again tomorrow…I'll be updating a bit less…gomen…_

_Please review if you have the time/desire too (and we all know you have a strong desire to! XD)_

_To SnowSword: Please send in a request soon._

_~Amaterasu Ai_


	90. Grimmjow and Mai's Wait

This is mah Diary, Ichimaru Gin's Diary^^

We're still in de Soul Society!

_Entry 891_

This is Ulquiorra Cifer.

_And I'm Mai Cifer._

**Grimmjow. Figure out my last name yourself.**

Gin forgot his 'Diary-kun' when the raid started up again.

_So Ulquiorra-sama took it along with us._

**We're planning to go through the underground passage ways to get to the First Division and kill/kidnap the candy from that old Yama guy.**

You will never guess who was watching Soap Operas down there…

_Seriously…guess._

_Entry 892_

"Ah-AHHH! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME~!"

"…Who're YOU?"

"Y-Y-Yamado Hanatorou." _(AN: Sp?)_

"Oh…"

"…May I watch that with you?"

"What, this? But it's When The Curtain Falls…"

"Exactly…I want to watch it with you…trash."

_Entry 893_

Ulquiorra-sama is watching a three hour episode of a soap opera with that Yamada guy…

**And we can't go anywhere without him so we have to stick around…**

…

…**So…Mai…wanna-**

No, whatever you ask, no. The episodes about to end soon so there's no time.

"Wonderful, a marathon that last's all day and night! Feel free to fool around a bit, trash…and Mai."

…That just ruined everything…

_Entry 894_

"Mai, are you sure you don't wanna-?"

"No. Whatever it is, you'll probably have to get me drunk to do it."

"…Wanna-?"

"No, I'm not going to get drunk."

"…*puts away a bottle of sake*…but I like it when you're drunk…"

_Entry 895_

It's now nighttime….I think… Ulquiorra-sama and Yama-person are still watching the marathon…

**Mai~ If you're cold then you can snuggle up with me~**

…I'd rather freeze to death…Thank you for the offer though…

_Entry 896_

Morning, Gin's Diary.

**Morning, Mai.**

Morning, Grimmjow.

**Hey, Mai, are you SURE you don't wanna have-?**

NO! Whatever it is, NO!

**Harsh…looks like someone's having their time of the mon-!**

Finish that sentence and I swear I will-

**Will what? Huh? Bet you can't think of anything. Month. HA! I finished it!**

I didn't get to finish my sentence! I'll-!

**Make me regret it? I'm surprised, Mai, but that sounds kinda dirty ;)**

Grimmjow! Shut your face or I'll-!

**Make me wegwet it? Aww, but Mai, if anything, I'LL make YOU regre-~!**

"Sh-shut up!"

"No…you shut up."

_Entry 897_

"Mai~"

"Sh-shut up!"

"I'm makin' you blu~ush!"

"No, you're not!"

"Yes, I am~!"

"You're not!" *slaps self across the face* "See? It's cuz I hit myself! THAT'S why my face is red!"

"I can't believe you did that…It was kinda stupid…"

_Entry 898_

That was actually pretty stupid…My face hurts now…

**Want me to kiss your boo-boo~?**

…No…

_Entry 899_

Grimmjow…what were you actually asking me if I wanted to do?

**I was gonna ask "Hey, Mai, wanna have a lick (of vanilla ice cream)"**

Oh…

**Get your mind out of the gutter.**

"Sh-shut up!"

_Entry 900_

**Happy 900****th**** Entry!**

Woo!

**I made you blush again!**

No, you didn't.

**Yes, I did.**

"YOU TRASH! HOW COULD REX DO THAT AND LEAVE?"

"I KNOW! REX-SAN SHOULD BE PUNISHED!"

…**Soap opera watching freaks…**

Be nice.

**But-**

I agree though…

**Will you agree to one more thing?**

What?

**I made you blu~ush~!**

NO YOU DID NOT!

_END CHAPTER_

_Only 100 more entries! I'm gonna miss forcing myself to write this…-ish XDD_

_Mai's Diary is up next! Please vote for the poll in my profile. It asks how many chapters you want in it. Days-365 chapters, Weeks-52 chapters, or Months-12 chapters._

_Please review if you have the time/desire to. =D_

_THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS~_

_~Amaterasu Ai_


	91. Ulquiorra's Scientific Prank

Gin's Diary

_Entry 901_

This is Ulquiorra Cifer.

There is nothing to do right now.

The marathon ended, the trash is sleeping, and the drooling, fellow soap opera watching trash is also sleeping.

So I am going to experiment.

No, not like Szayel, but I am going to experiment…

_Entry 902_

"Trash."

There was no response.

"…Trashy Sexta and trashy not-sister."

Again, no response.

So, I arranged them in a very awkward position, just to see how they will react when one or the other wakes up.

_Entry 903_

"A-AH!"

"Drooling Trash."

"H-hai…?"

"Would you like you do something for me?"

"N-no…"

"Good, take some of their clothes off for me."

"NANI~? That's wrong though! It's wrong enough how they're sleeping…"

"It's for science."

"It seems more like a prank…"

"…A scientific prank."

_Entry 904_

"I-is this good…?"

"It's fine; now throw it into the trashy water."

*throws jackets, a sash, boots and socks into the water*

Just to say now, for when you read this, Gin, they are not nude in any way. Trashy Sexta still has on his hakama with the sash. Trashy not-sister apparently wears a black shirt underneath and has a loose hakama.

And I know this is quite odd for me to say, but I think it has something to do with those pills I had… So…

"Heh, heh…"

_Entry 905_

"Y-you're a pervert, Ulquiorra-san!"

"No, I am not."

"B-but-!"

"No."

"…Okay…"

_Entry 906*_

Hm…

Maybe this scientific prank IS like something Szayel Aporro would do…

…I wonder where I would find a lab coat….

Preferably a black one…

_Entry 907_

I found a black lab coat.

It fits nicely also.

…I'm almost afraid to wonder where it came from…

_Entry 908_

I am writing my own soap opera.

It is called, Trashy Sextas, featuring the trashy Sextas, Grimmjow and Mai, themselves.

Trashy Sexta and Trashy Not-Sister would start off hating each other, but instead, Trash-Not-Sister would obsessively have a 'crush' on Trashy-Sexta.

Trashy Sexta would be creeped out and eventually learn to like Trashy-Not-Sister.

Then, in the end, they both bow down to the non-trashy king, Me.

I like it. I should drug Trashy-Sexta and Trashy-Not-Sister so they could act it out while I film it.

_Entry 909_

…I think those pills are making me think funny…

Weeee~

I also have a sudden urge to eat bananas…and get a girlfriend…

Hmm…those pills tasted good…I should get more =)

Smiley face~

_Entry 910_

"AHHH!"

"MAI!"

"Gr-GRIMMJOW?"

"What-?"

"How-?"

"I did it!"

"Ulquiorra?"

"Yuh-huh. The one and only~!"

"…Where's that one guy?"

"Sleeping again… I drugged him~"

"…Um…Ulquiorra-sama? Can you kinda…untie us…? We don't exactly have *cough* use…of our hands…"

"Yeah, your hands are warm, Mai…"

*blush* "Yours are freezing, thanks for making my butt numb, baka."

"…Ulquiorra, you're a pervert."

"Yuh-huh~!"

"…Can you PLEASE at least take our hands out of each other's pants?"

"No…"

"WHY?"

"Cuz…"

"Cuz why?"

"You're supposed to fall in love."

"…Ulquiorra…what the fu-?"

"Then…"

"Then?"

"…Freak like bunnies…"

"O_O"

"NO!"

_END CHAPTER_

_I know, disturbingly weird an' creepy and perverted. But it's nighty time, I'm weird like this at nighty time XD._

_My tooth was wiggly when I wiggled it, it just POPPED OUT O.O wasn't even that wiggly… surprisingly, there wasn't that much blood…LOL TMI right? Speaking of teeth,_

_Hana-chan: I lost my tooth when I was at yer house~ While playing Sims! Bet ya didn't know~ :3_

_It was more blood then -_- LOL TMI~_

_Well, whaddya think o' Ulquiorra's OOC-ness?_

_~Amaterasu Ai_


	92. Something Else Between Grimmjow and Mai

Gin's Diary

_Entry 911_

"Ulquiorra-sama…?"

"Yes~?"

"Can you PLEASE untie us? If you keep this up, I think Grimmjow might die from blood loss."

"Good!"

"Hey!"

"I don't like Grimmjow though…he's trashy!"

"Well…if you don't…then I'll be all bloody and I'll look like a zombie."

"…but…zombies are baddies…"

"Yes, they are. Do you want me to look like a zombie, Ulquiorra-sama?"

"No…"

"Good, now untie us."

"Okay! I mean, you would be REALLY ugly as a zombie and you might try to eat my brains. And I need my brains."

_Entry 912*_

"Let's get going; the Shinigami might send someone to search down here."

"I-I can't!"

"Don't tell me Ulquiorra glued you to the floor."

"He didn't…but I don't have a sash…"

"That should matter because…?"

"If I stand up and don't hold onto my pants, they're not gonna stay up."

"o.o…oh…well…"

"Ulquiorra-sama! Did you take my red ribbon?"

"Yuh-huh. It was pretty so I threw it into the sewage water."

"WHAT? !"

_Entry 913_

*uses red ribbon as a sash so my hakama don't slip*

"Mai, you still have that?"

"Yeah…so?"

"Why do you still have it?"

"I…"

"I gave that to you like 89 chapters ago."

"…umm…yeah…thanks…by the way…"

"…yeah…no problem…"

"…Grimmjow…?"

"Huh?"

"…I know this will sound a BIT stupid…but…"

"...?"

"Can you help me up…? Apparently, when I tripped, I sprained my ankle…"

"What's up with you and not being able to walk?"

_Entry 914_

"GRIMMJOW I CAN WALK! PUT ME **DOWN**!"

"That's what you always say. I'm not putting you down."

"…Put me down!"

"No."

"Grimmjow!"

"Mai!" (gets hit by Mai)

"Stop that!"

"Not until you put me DOWN!"

"You can't walk! And stop that! I'm gonna drop you if-!"

"GRIMMJOW!" *slaps him*

"WHAT?"

"You touched my butt!"

"You hit me!"

"Suck it up!"

"YOU suck it up! I already touched your butt thanks to Ulquiorra over there!"

"YOUR WELCOME, GRIMMY-KUN~!"

_Entry 915_

_You know what I've been wondering?_

_Why did Ulquiorra-sama take my red ribbon? It was kinda random…_

Cuz your hair looks sexy when it's down~

…_It sounds wrong coming from you. And here, go fetch. *throws bananas*_

"RUFF, RUFF~!"

_O.O He has problems…_

_Entry 916_

"Mai!"

"Huh?"

"I got dinner!"

"Great! I'm starving!"

"Ulquiorra cooked it for me! It's like an owl turkey!"

"…Wait…what?"

"An owl! Cept it looks like a turkey! I still have a feather from it! It was a cool white one! Pretty easy to catch and kill if I do say so myself!"

"Grimmjow…"

"Ya?"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? A CANNIBAL?"

"WHAT?"

"THAT'S LIKE ME GIVING YOU A PANTEHR TO EAT!"

"Hm…I wonder what I taste like…"

_Entry 917_

"Mai-chan~!"

"Hai?"

"C'mon! I found an exit!"

"REALLY? Let's go, Grimmjow!"

"An' exit to reality that is!"

*bashes head on the wall*

O.O

_Entry 918_

"We need to carry him."

"Heck no! You carry him!"

"I can't, I sprained my ankle, remember?"

"Well, I can't carry you BOTH."

"I can walk!"

"No, you can't."

"But we can't just leave Ulquiorra-sama there!"

"Why can't we?"

"Because, he would rot and the Shinigami would kill him."

"That's a bad thing because…?"

_Entry 919_

"Okay, you get his feet, I'll get his head."

"Why do YOU get his head?"

"Because I don't trust you."

"I'm hurt, you don't trust me and yet I share a ROOM with you?"

"If I had a choice, I would've stayed with Ilforte."

"Why do you like him so much? He's stupid and says bro all the time."

"He's politer then you are."

"But I'm hotter."

"Looks aren't everything, Grimmjow."

"Of course, I don't like YOU because you're hot."

"I'm not hot."

"Stop being modest. And I'm making you blush~!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT! And I'm not being modest! If you think I'M hot, than you would just LOVE my sister."

"…You have a sister?"

"…No."

"But you just said-"

"Nothing."

"…Okay…but I STILL made you blush~!"

"NO. YOU. DID. NOT!"

_Entry 920_

"Why did you say you have a sister if you don't have one?"

"…"

"Is she a shinigami?"

"I dunno…"

"Is she still alive?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

"Was she the one that killed you?"

"NO! Now just shut up and walk faster, Ulquiorra's getting heavy!"

O.O I don't think she's ever called Ulquiorra without the "sama"…

"Stop writing about me behind my back!"

"I'm not, but seriously, about your sis-?"

"Grimmjow, please, just be quiet…"

"Mai, WHY are you avoiding talking about your sister?"

"…I'm not…"

"Someone told me you were murdered. Are you SURE it wasn't your sister?"

"I would know who I was killed by, Grimmjow! I wasn't killed in my sleep, and it's none of your business!"

"…It IS my business because you're my roommate and as my roommate, I have to take care of you."

"I don't need to be taken care of! Just go die in a hole!"

O.O She's mad…I mean…the only people who tell me to go die in a hole are…Nnoitra and Loly…

…and Gin when it's his Monthly Go Around And Tell Everyone To Go Die In A Hole Day…

"Um…Mai?"

"_What?_"

"Um…You dropped Ulquiorra's head…"

"Owiee~!"

"…and he's awake…"

"Sweet, SWEET bananas!"

_END CHAPTER_

I didn't know what else to write so I just added the moment between Grimmjow and Mai about the sister who may or may not exist…

O.O I told myself a week or two ago that I would be at least at chapter 94…

So I'm behind…

Gomen, Minna-chan!

So…what think? I'm still surprised that I get so many reviews -_- The story that I'm most proud of is Espada Vacation XD And interview with cookie monster, but that didn't really count…XD

PLEASE VOTE ON ZE POLL IN LE PROFILE!

~Amaterasu Ai


	93. Out of the Sewers

_Entry 921_

Ichimaru-san found us and pulled us back up.

Ulquiorra-sama…he's still out of it…

Hiiii~! Mai-chan, do you wanna eat some bananas with me?

Sure, maybe later, Ulquiorra-sama.

Good! I'll get the oven heated up! Oh, I'll make some cereal too, while I'm at it! It's not good to waste so much oven space!

_Entry 922_

Ulquiorra's sneaking into that fourth division to use their ovens… (By the way…this is Grimmjow)

O.O How the hell do you make cereal and bananas in the oven?

…Crap, I should go and make sure he doesn't destroy the place…

_Entry 923_

Guess what, ev'ryone?

Yup, Ulquiorra blew up Unohana-taicho's kitchens an' half de barracks.

Let's just say…she's freakin' angry…while lookin' calm, which is frightenin'…

But on the bright side…Ulquiorra still got ta eat his lunch…sure, it was burned to a crisp…but he's keepin' himself busy, tryin' ta bite into it…

"Why won't my teeth kill this thingy?"

_Entry 924_

"MY TEETH SHALL KILL YOU! DIE! DIE! DIE!"

O.O Ulqui-orra's goin' mad…

"BUT THAT BIOTCH DESERVES TO DIE!"

I really got no idea what he's talkin' 'bout now…

"Nappy-nap time~!"

Thank goodness…

_Entry 925_

"Ichimaru-san!"

"Wha?"

"The Gotei turned against us! THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL GRIMMJOW RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK!"

"REALLY?"

"Hurry!"

"WAIT…wasn't yer ankle sprained or somethin'…?"

"…Yeah…but that Unohana lady healed it before Ulquiorra-sama blew up her place…after that she turned everyone against us…"

"Where's ev'ryone else?"

"Getting kidnapped by the captains…"

"So…are ya the only one left…?"

"No, Starrk-san is still sleeping in the bushes."

_Entry 926_

"Starrk."

"…Starrk-san…?"

"Starrk."

We're gonna go get Lilinette.

…An hour later~

"BAKA-STARRK, WAKE UP!"

O.O Did she just shove her boot in his mouth…?

_Entry 927_

Starrk woke up…

But his mouth's is dislocated…heh-heh…

He's angry…

And it ain't helpin' that I keep sayin' "Who's a good wolfy wolf?"

Cuz ya know, his resurreccion with Lilinette an' all…

_Entry 928_

Ya know, I'm readin' back on my Diary-kun right now…and I'm thinkin'…

It's been a borin' year.

I mean, back in de Soul Society, where ev'ryone's more…emotional…it's way more fun…

_Entry 929_

Was it surprisin' dat I said it was a boring year?

I hope so. Ya would think I live some crazy insane life, but calm an' soothin' as Le Handsome Awesome Pretty-Boy Sexy Grinny Grin Gin.

But this life's TOO calm an' soothin'…

Ima go and start de raid myself…

_Entry 930_

…After I help Lilinette an' Mai pull the boot outta Starrk's mouth… (Dat's why 'is mouth was so dislocated)

"Did he just BITE me? He just BIT me!"

"MAI-CHAN! You might get rabbies!"

…I gotta go…

_END CHAPTER_

Yup…let the raid begin…I STARTED WRITING MAI'S FIRST YEAR AS AN ESPADA!

So far: Chapter 1-6 Facts about Yours Truly (it's a pretty boring chapter), chapter 2-Cookie Wars (this one's funnier, they try an' poison each other…with cookies…) chapter 3- (no title yet, but so far, Ilforte's heat generator causes a day of being freezing)

Preview~! PLEASE ENJOY AND TELL ME WHAT YA THINK~!

_Chapter 3 Preview_

Wow… Stupidly, Grimmjow and I were still in our pajamas during that snowball fight… We were soaked…and cold…really cold…we also lost track of time… so we were late for work…really late…Aizen-sama was really mad…like really, really mad…(even though you can't tell…) So he just sent us to our rooms because "that's punishment for not being obedient to daddy"…

END PREVIEW

_Oh, and this chapter's for those who drew Mai! That means xcutexcoolxcrazyx from Deviant Art, Sugarangles from Deviant and here on , and Yami Otaku! I'm not sure how many of you from the beginning are reading this, but thanks anyways! XD Deviant Art link is in my profile and their pictures are in my favs if you want to see them!_


	94. Cry

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

_Entry 931_

"La, la, la~!"

"Gin-san, you're NO HELP AT ALL!"

"YEAH! BAKA-ICHIMARU! Starrk nearly ripped my arm off!"

"If he rips yer arm off, then does dhat mean he ripped 'is own arm off?"

"NO!"

"It should, I mean if ya got pregnant, so would Starrk, right…?"

"Hehehe…Rofly will be the baby daddy~!"

*In Las Noches, where Rofly-kun is*

"Achoo! Damn fish talkin' 'bout me again!"

_Entry 932_

"LILINETTE DON'T YOU DARE GO AND GET PREGNANT!"

"Will ya stop killing us then?"

"I'm drunk, I'm supposed to."

…Oh, de stupidity around here…

_Entry 933_

"HUZZAAAH!"

"AIYAA~!" (says de random shinigami)

"I'M ICHIMARU GIN AND I'M STARTING THE RAID MYSELF!"

"OH NO! We are soo scared of Ichimaru Gin, his awesomeness! We will do whatever he says and bow down to him! ALL HAIL ICHIMARU GIN, HIS AWESOMENESS!"

_Entry 934_

That didn't really happen…Gin-san just…got caught up in the moment…but this is what really happened:

"ATTACK HIM!"

"ICHIMARU-TAICHO~!" (says that blonde guy)

"I'm gonna go an' get the candy~!"

"Gin-san! What are WE supposed to? There's tons of shinigami here and we stand out like you do!"

"Have fun, Mai-chan~!"

"GET BACK HERE AND HELP US, DAMMIT!"

"NOO~!"

_Entry 935_

So now, Lilinette and I have to fend for ourselves.

…and Starrk…he passed out and we had to drag him all the way to the bushes, where we're hiding out right now…

"Mai-chan…what if we don't make it…?"

"…Lilinette…"

"Seriously, I'm scared right now!"

"Lilinette…"

"I don't want to die! I'm still a virgin! Rofly hasn't DONE anything ye-!

"LILINETTE!"

"WHAT?"

"Don't ask me! You're supposed to be the Primera! YOU'RE supposed to be protecting ME!"

"NUH-UH! That's Starrk's job! We're supposed to be crying and trying to get him to wake up to save us!"

"I don't cry."

_Entry 936_

"OW! SONOFVA-!"

"See, Mai-chan can cry, you're crying right now!"

"Because you just punched me in the eye!"

"So the half Sexta doesn't have strong hiero? Pathetic, what will Grimmy say?"

"YOU LACED YOUR HAND WITH SALT!"

"Is your eye to weak to handle salt?"

"There's like a GALLON of that stuff on your hand!"

"Che, I wouldn't be affected."

So then I proceeded to dip my hand in salt and punch her in the face.

_Entry 937_

"OWIEE~! YOU SONOFVA-!"

"See? It hurts."

"I-I'm not crying though!"

"…you're drowning Starrk in your tears…"

"WAAHHHH!"

"…Starrk's still drowning…"

_Entry 938_

"AAAHHHHH!"

"MAI-CHAN!"

_Entry 939_

I really hate to admit this…but since I was crying so much…I drowned Starrk…not really, he just woke up and started to go on his rampage mode…that also got him to almost kill Mai-chan an' me…

So now, Mai-chan's hiding behind another bush, glaring at us…

Oh well… "I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GO AND RAID THEM MYSELF!"

Suddenly, a shadow appears…

_Entry 940_

Ya'll never guess what! One, I'ma back! Two, I got de candy and finished the raid! Three, Aizen-taicho is drunk an' passed out somewhere, so we're gonna head back, an' GUESS WHAT?

"I'M IN CHARGE!"

_END CHAPTER_

_AN: Hey everyone! GUESS WHAT? On April 4th, it'll be a year since I started this diary! And after that, on the fifth...can you guess what day that is? (No, not just Tuesday, but very good guess) Whoever guesses right can...request a one-shot or have their OC in Ichimaru Gin's Diary or Complicated or Espada Vacation...winner's choice XD No, Hana, you can't be a winner, because you're already in this (and if you think hard enough, you MIGHT be able to guess it XD)...Axel-kun, you too, but feel free to guess XD_

_Um...what else...? Oh, I WAS gonna do an April Fools' Day prank on you guys, BUT (hehe) Hana went on about how it might be a bad idea, might be illegal, you guys might be mad at me or do something stupid etc, etc... lol... _

_...Anyways, sorry for the extremely long...non-update period of time... I started watching Hetalia lately...Uryuu's voice actor plays England...and it's funneh...oh, and America's voice actor is also Keigo's...no surprise there..._

_Ah, sorry for the rambling, so... Try and guess why Tuesday, April 5th is important-ish, and review if you feel like it...(which you should if you want to guess XD)_

_Thanks for all the reviews~!_

_~Amaterasu Ai_

_PS I just got back from Atlanta, Georgia. Spring Break is almost over for meh :( Anyone live near there if they want to say?_


	95. Wasted in London

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

_Entry 941_

"There was boy who laughed all day and Rofly was his name-o! R-O-F-L-Y, R-O-F-L-Y, R-O-F-L-Y and Rofly was his name-o!"

Hiya, Gin-san's diary! It seems de raid didn't go too well, did it? I heard dat Aizen-sama got drunk and passed out in a bush. If he did, then get a picture fer me, 'kay?

_Rofly, we're not going to break into the Soul Society AGAIN, just to get a picture of Aizen in a bush._

Awww…yer no fun, Mai-chan… Ya used ta be so fun! Remember dat time ya got wasted and tried ta do dat one really dirty thing? Heh, you weren't ever de same after dat…

_Yeah…those were the times…wait…how did you know about that?_

…I drugged Gin-san one time an' forced him ta tell me ev'rythin' he knows 'bout ev'ryone.

_Right, like he'd tell you EVERYTHING._

Is it true dat ya dance 'round when ya think no one's looking? Like when yer in de shower or brushin' yer hair? By de way, I never knew ya knew how ta break dance.

_WHAT? HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT-no…I don't…_

What ever ya say ;D

_Entry 942_

Don't believe Rofly when he says that I dance when no one's looking…because I don't…

Actually, Rofly's done his share of embarrassing things not too long ago…

I bet my dancing skills on it that you won't guess what.

_Entry 943_

Would it be weird if I told you that Rofly's eating play-dough right now?

…He's not…I just wanted to write that down for some reason…

Well…Rofly would only eat play-dough if he was drunk…and he's too young to drink (or buy any) according to most drinking laws around the world of the living… Plus, Aizen forbids drinking on weekdays…

So I have decided that I'm taking Rofly and Leola to England. Why England? Because I don't want Aizen to find a drunk Rofly throwing up on his throne, that's why.

…and there's a haunted chair I wanted to see…

…To England~

_Entry 944_

Right now, we're on the plane.

…And Grimmjow's with us…

He probably wants to get drunk and take everyone with him.

…that sounded wrong…

**Want me to make it **_**feel **_**wrong~?**

…Morning, Grimmjow…

_Entry 945_

Now we're in London~!

This is Leola for all of you peoples wondering~!

Now, we WOULD go drinking, but all the pubs are closed, plus, everyone's jet lagged, so we can't go sight seeing or get laid.

…This vacation's no fun…

_Entry 946_

"THERE WAS A BOY WHO LAUGHED ALL DAY AND ROFLY WAS HIS NAME-O! R-O-F-L-Y! R-O-F-L-Y! R-O-F-L-Y AND ROFLY WAS HIS NAME-O~! THERE WAS A BOY WHO LAUGHED ALL DAY AND ROFLY WAS HIS NAME-O! HA! O-F-L-Y! HA! O-F-L-Y! HA! O-F-L-Y AND ROFLY WAS HIS NAME-O!"

…That was the first thing we heard this morning when we woke up…

_Entry 947_

"What do we do now, Mai-chan? I'm BORED!"

"Go drinking?"

"Grimmjow, it's nine in the morning."

"But it's five in the evening in Japan…"

"No."

"But-!"

"No."

"Please-?"

"Nuh-uh."

"I'll give you a massage if we can?"

"…No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Fine…"

"Really?"

"NO!"

"GRIMMJOW!"

_Entry 948_

Rofly 'ere!

_And Leola!_

We're in de hotel room.

_And Mai-san and Grimmjow isn't._

Yup, Grim just suddenly up an' went out ta drink at a pub.

…_not before he just threw Mai over his shoulder…_

What's that gotta do with anything?

_O.O You really are innocent…wait…where did you accent go?_

Never had one.

_O.O You're weird._

I dun't need ya ta tell me that. My mum told me enough.

_Mum?_

…I'm also British…

_That's just stupid._

"You're racist? That's low, Leola!"

_No! I'm not saying you're stupid cuz you're British, I'm saying you're stupid because you faked an accent for THAT long and hid that fact from us? What else are have you been hiding? Is your name really Rofly? Are actually a guy? Are you gay? Or are you actually an alien who CLAIMS to be British? (LE GASP!) I know! You're actually a secret agent sent to help Grimmjow get Mai, aren't you? Nah, you're too stupid…unless you're actually not! OMIGOSH, you're a desperate robot who's trying to get laid! That's LOW, Roflmao Unter! Even though that's not even your NAME probably! I bet your name is something insane…like…ERIC SMITH!_

…That ain't insane…that sounds like an ordinary American name…

_Oh, so you're American, too? Wow, what else are you hiding? Are actually even a hollow? Do you secretly have a mustache like Mario's? And-!_

_Entry 949_

_Why did you cut me off?_

The last entry was getting too long…

_Oh, so now your sense of how long an entry is, is screwed up? Wow, Rofly, but STILL probably isn't your real name, so I'll call you…Mush._

…Mush?

_Yeah, cuz y'know, crap is usually disgusting and sometimes mushy._

…

…_And you're a piece of crap!  
_

…Your logic just defies everything sometimes…

_Entry 950_

(SIGH) …It's 6 AM…and here's why we've been awake since three AM…

_FLASHBACK_

"…_Mush…stop that…I'm trying to sleep…"_

"…(yawn) stop what…? I'm over here…on the other bed…on the other side of the room…and no, I'm not doing anything…and stop calling me Mush!"

"_What the…OMIGOSH GRIMMJOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?"_

"Well~ Ima tsink dat mean'Mai got completely WASTE~! an' we gotta WASTED~ so we'll crashhere, ta'night, so ni-nite~!"

_END FLASHBACK_

You see…Grimmjow and Mai…got wasted…and they somehow managed to get back here…and they were somehow still ALIVE, after drinking all DAY…so they made us stay up…while they slept…they even took turns staying awake to make sure we were awake…which is retarded….

Now, they both have a murderous hangover…

Not that Leola cares…so she went out to get wasted too…'cept it's six in the morning…and she's crazy…and she left me here with these two…alone…so…I'm gonna go get wasted too…

Bye everyone!

_END CHAPTER_

_Well…there, I'm sorry for not updating for so long…_

_I'M ALIVE MINNA-CHAN~! An'ways, cuz I'm weird, okay? That should answer most of the questions for this chapter XD_

_I have some saddish news…I don't think I can continue Mai's Diary…I just don't think I have the heart to actually go through with it…I might come back and write for it when I feel like it…but I don't really think I have the heart to write it…_

_So as a sorry, once I finish this, I'ma work my butt off to finish Espada Vacation and Complicated! Also, as another sorry, I'll write a sequel for Complicated if you want. Yes, it will have a MAJOR twist. (Already plotting possible ideas and what will happen that not even Hana knows about XD) So I'm really, really sorry that I can barely even start Mai's Diary…but I'll keep it up, cuz I probably will post chapters once in a while…in a LONG while…_

_Sorry!_

_~Amaterasu Ai_


	96. Busby's Chair, part 1

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

_Entry 951_

Wow...my's diary's in London... O.O

Gin 'ere! I just found my diary!...in London...

...Grim an' Mai-chan got a muderous hangover...

...Evil evil plans are in progress~

_Entry 952_

Guess what?

Yup, I got a pet.

Kinda random, ain't it?

Well, it's a doggy. A Siberian husky... I named it Mush!

...fer some reason, when I ran inta Leola an' Rofly at a pub, Rofly didn't like it dat much...

...Now dat I think 'bout it...

WHERE DID HIS ACCENT GO?

_Entry 953_

"Oh, where oh, where, did his lil' accent go~? Oh where, oh where can it be~? When he speaks like dis, an' sings along, oh where, oh where can it be~?"

...ain't it illegal ta get drunk in public though...?

O.O

_Entry 954_

...Guess what I just saw on de TV...

A certain two people 'ave been stealin' those hats off those guards...ya know...those big, black, an' furry hats...

Well...at least I THINK they're furry...

...Oh look...Rofly's on TV...an' wearin' one o de hats...

O.O _"He's making a run for it! The police are chasing him! Ohh! Nice tackle, John! And the odd drunk has been caught! His girlfriend seems to be fine...except she's throwing up on the lawn...yuck..."_

...Looks like I gotta go bail 'em outta jail...

_Entry 955_

Well, I dun't wanna bail 'em outta jail...yet...

Cuz then Mush would be lonely...

I fergot ta tell ya how I met Mush!

...I went ta Russia before I got ta London...

...De vodka was good~

But if ya drink as much as I go, ya ain't gonna get drunk until yer fourth or fifth bottle o vodka...

I only drank three~

_Entry 956_

Mush's adorable, ain't he?

But dat ain't the point right now; right now, Mush is hidin' Grim's an' Mai-chan's clothes.

Why ask?

Cuz it's part o my evil, evil plan.

...Evil-evil-evil~...

_Entry 957_

I'mma go now. Dere probably gonna wake up soon.

...and it ain't gonna be pretty...

_Entry 958_

"LEOLA~! ROFLY~! ...How'd Rofly get outta jail?"

"I went kick-ass ninja and killed 'em all."

"...what...?"

"That's not true! You just went bat-shit-insane and they threw you out!"

"...bat-shit-insane, kick-ass ninja, same thing!"

_Entry 959_

Well, we're now at dat place with dat haunted chair!

It's called Busby's Chair...

...dey say it killed 'bout 60 people...

I'mma dare Rofly ta sit in it!

_Entry 960_

All three o us are gonna sit in it...

...but we gotta wait 'til no one sees us...

...cuz de chair's hung up on de wall...

1...2...3...GO~!

_END CHAPTER_

You can find out who dies next chapter...and Grim's and Mai's reaction... SUMMER'S IN BARELY A FEW DAYS SO I'LL UPDATE MORE!...once I get back from my trip! Don't worry, it's only for...what? Two-three days? I'm gonna go to the Mall of America~

No, none of you have permission to stalk me. It's creepy. Anyways, sorry for not updating for...who knows, I don't really keep track...

But thanks for still reading this for those of you who do...

Please review if you feel like it~ (and please do, I need to know if you all survived the end of the world yesterday (5/21) XD I did, don't worry about me~!)

~Amaterasu Ai


	97. Busby's Chair part 2

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

_Entry 961_

…He died…

_YOU KILLED ROFLY?_

Nah, Leola, we're dead, we ain't gonna be dead dead for a LONG time.

_Then what do you mean he died…?_

The fly dat landed on de chair died.

_Poor, poor fly…_

Speaking of flies…Gin, your fly's undone.

_Entry 962_

We're back at de hotel room now.

My doggy Mush likes Rofly.

"GET OFF OF ME STUPID DOG!"

See?

"DON'T HURT MUSH, MUSH!"

Leola likes Mush…maybe she likes Mush too…

"SHUT UP! STOP CALLIN' ME MUSH!"

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

"MAYBE I'LL CALL YOU…uh…I'll call ya…"

"ALRIGHT! MY NUMBER'S ON YOUR SPEED DIAL!"

"WHY?"

"Cuz I put it there~ ;)"

…Well…dat was strange…

_Entry 963_

"ICHIMARU, DAMMIT, WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Ya…Grimmjow an' Mai woke up…

_Entry 964_

Mush (my doggy) sent Mai an' Grimmjow back ta Las Noches.

"Good doggy~"

"Bark."

"Woah…Mush just spoke…"

"I always speak!"

"Not Rofly Mush! Mush Mush!"

…Dis Mush confusion's confusin…

_Entry 965_

Guess what I just found in Rofly's bag…

…One o' those furry black hats dat the Queen's guards wear…

Leola got one too.

…I'ma go get one now…

_Entry 966_

"RUN AFTER THE ODD PEDO-LOOKING MAN!"

"I AIN'T NO PEDO!"

"HE STOLE MY HAT!"

"DON'T CRY SMITH!"

"BUT MY HAT…"

"New guy…?"

"Yeah…"

_Entry 967_

O.o Leola an' Rofly started datin'.

Never thought dat would happen…

…'nother thing ta check off o my "Things I Never Thought Would Happen That Happened An'Ways Cuz Life Screws Me Over A Lot" List…

Oh lookie, de next one on de list is a Lays VS Doritos War dat breaks de two o 'em up!

_Entry 968_

"Dammit, Rofly! I can't take it! You like Lays? It was a mistake even THINKING about liking you!"

"And I made a mistake going out with you because you like…(shudders) DORITOS!"

"You disgust me."

"You scare me."

"YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO FIND ANOTHER GIRL LIKE ME!"

"I sure hope I don't."

…There goes another one off de ol' list…

_Entry 969_

Hehehe…Entry 969…

_Entry 970_

Well, we're goin' back ta Hueco Mundo now.

My diary's got 20 pages left!

…An' Mush just ripped out half o' 'em…

…Ja bai bai fer now~!

_END CHAPTER_

OMYGOSH…I haven't updated in forever TT-TT Sorry! It's just I'm lazy and started getting into Hetalia but don't worry I still like Bleach and just got side track, I went to Mexico, it was cool, and I started cosplaying and thought about serious stuff then thought about even more serious stuff and trying to just grin and bear it through stuff and I'm sure you all don't really care but just to let you know…

I'M NOT DEAD~! I have an update video. It's to update you all on my stories =D. Remove the spaces: h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = K h d c k y x 4 c v g & f e a t u r e = m h _ l o l z & l i s t = H L 1 3 1 1 6 2 5 8 3 4

Sorry again for not updating so long =_= I have one week of 'splendid' isolation to get things done… So…I'll try and finish the diary…so, so, so sorry everyone =_=

Thank you SO much to everyone who has reviewed, favorite-ed, alerted, and read this story and any other of my stories! And thanks to cobra1777 for sendin' that message that somehow motivated me to write this chapter~

Please review if you have the time~

~Amaterasu Ai


	98. Back an' Forth with Gin an' Hana

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

_Entry 971 _

'Ello.

I'ma bored.

So I'ma do somethin' 'bout it.

Like dance...ta Love an' Joy.

Why yer wonderin?

Cuz Hana's dancin' to it an' it looks fun.

_Entry 972_

"I HAVEN'T GOTTEN SCREEN TIME IN FOREVER!" (said Hana)

Ya...no one cares.

**I DO!**

But I dun't, an' it's my Diary-kun, an' that means MY rules.

**...My diary's better then yours...**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

STFU! Love, Rofly.

_Entry 973_

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Nuh-uh.

**Uh-huh!**

Show me yer Diary-kun then!

**I WILL!**

Dun't think so.

_**I **_**think so!**

Dun't think so.

**Think so!**

Dun't think so.

**Think so!**

Dun't think so.

**Think so!**

Dun't think so.

**Think so!**

Dun't think so.

**Think so!**

Dun't think so.

**Think so!**

Dun't think so.

**Think so!**

Again, I'll ask politely. STFU. Love, Rofly.

_Entry 974_

I just met Hana's Diary-chan.

...It's scary...

It ain't pink...but it's bloody red o.O...

...With kitties all over de cover...

...an' hot guys from various different yaoi animes...

...crossdressin'...

...'Scuse me while I go burn my eyes...

_Entry 975_

"Hey, Hana, I dun't know how to put this, but ya got a really serious an' deathly problem."

"Aizen-sama's dead?"

"I wish, but no."

"...Mai-chan's dead?"

"No."

"GRIMMY'S FINALLY DEAD~?"

"Nah."

"LE GASP! They canceled my favorite yaoi anime?~!"

"If only..."

"Then what?"

"...Ya got a crossdressin' fetish...don't ya...?"

"Yeah...hot guys in hot skirts are hot~"

An' dat, children, is why Hana's not allowed in Hot Topic an'more.

_Entry 976_

O.O

**O.O is right Gin!**

Ya...Diary-kun an' Diary-chan like each other.

**IT'S SO WRONG!**

Ya...

**Diary-chan is so much cuter though.**

Diary-kun's a STUD MUFFIN!

**Being cute is better then being a Stud Muffin :3**

Bein' a Stud Muffin's better then bein' cute!

**CUTENESS!**

STUD MUFFINS!

**CUTENESS!**

STUD MUFFINS!

**CUTENESS!**

STUD MUFFINS!

**CUTENESS!**

STUD MUFFINS!

**CUTENESS!**

STUD MUFFINS!

**CUTENESS!**

STUD MUFFINS!

**CUTENESS!**

STUD MUFFINS!

**CUTENESS!**

STUD MUFFINS!

Dear Ginny and Hanabi, (**O-M-G HOW DO YOU KNOW MY REAL NAME?~!) **Please STFU or I'll release on both of you and it WILL hurt. With love, Rofly.

_Entry 977_

Dat's what she said, Rofly.

**EWW! You're a pervert!**

Says de one who likes hot guys in hot dresses.

**You're still a pervert.**

An' yer still a whacked-up fangirl.

**Pervert.**

Crazy-fangirl.

**Pervert.**

Crazy-fangirl.

**Pervert.**

Crazy-fangirl.

**Pervert.**

Crazy-fangirl.

**Pervert.**

Crazy-fangirl.

**Pervert.**

Crazy-fangirl.

**Pervert.**

Crazy-fangirl.

**Pervert.**

Crazy-fangirl.

**Pervert.**

Crazy-fangirl.

Dear Who-Ever-Happens-To-Be-Reading-This, are you getting annoyed too? I sure am. With love, Rofly.

_Entry 978_

Hey, Rofly here.

I'm getting sick of all this back and forth stuff =_=

I think a certain authoress is getting lazy.

Just saying.

_Entry 979_

**I don't like you.**

I dun't like you, either.

**I said it first.**

Yer a child.

**Old man!**

Cat-girl!

**That's a good thing!**

Then bein' a Stud Muffin's a good thing!

**Fine!**

Fine!

**Fine!**

Fine!

**Fine!**

Fine!

**Fine!**

Fine!

**Fine!**

Fine!

**Fi-!**

STFU, or I swear, I'ma go bankai on your asses!

Since when do ya got bankai? O.o

Never...I just always wanted to say that...

_Entry 980_

Well, eventually, Rofly got so mad he dragged Hana off an' gave her a time out.

Not _that_ kind of time out, but just a time out where ya gotta sit in a corner an' stare at a wall fer a few hours.

So...ya, how're ya'll out there?

Cuz I'm fine. HOLY FOX PLUSHIES! 0-8-0-4 spells HOBO on de calculator!

Dat's awesome!

_END CHAPTER_

Yeah...like Rofly said, I got lazy.

_Oh, and to readers out there, one THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS AND...STUFF~! =D Two, for the last chapter, I'd like to make it awesome, but not sure what you guys out there want to see. So, what do you want in the last chapter? Please send in suggestions/requests in your reviews and I will try to cram as many of them in the last chapter as I can!_

...I discovered the keyboard shortcut for copying and pasting something, so that should explain the back and forthness lol...

And ya, Hana, if you're wondering why oh-so-suddenly you're featured in this chapter...

I haven't written too much, didn't have too much inspiration, you came over with all your Hana-ness, and it resulted in this. =P

And this, readers, is why Amaterasu Ai plus keyboard shortcuts plus Hana-ness equals a bad thing.

Unless...you liked the chapter of course =D

~Amaterasu Ai


	99. Gin's Update

Ichimaru Gin's Diary

_Entry 981_

Wow…I haven't written in a while.

Sorry, I've been dead lately.

…What? It ain't like it ain't true.

_Entry 982_

So…Yer pro'ally wonderin' what ev'ryone's been up to…

Well…ta put it simply…it started snowin' an' all the Espada went out and killed each other.

Nnoitra made up a game. It's called Pack It. Here's how it works. Ya get a snowball, an' shove it inta someone's hollow hole. Ya gotta pack it in 'til the hole's completely covered.

…As ya can tell…Szayel an' Harribel ain't too happy with the game…

_Entry 983_

_Hi everyone! It's me, Mai. _

_It's been a while, huh? What've you been up to?_

…_Wait, I'm talking to a diary… _

_No matter, I've been doing stuff like you have…if you've done anything. _

_I played Pack It with Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Lilinette, and surprisingly Gin…_

_Nnoitra almost lost his other eye, Lilinette murdered Grimmjow with snowballs, Gin just ate the snow that was thrown at him, and Grimmjow went home with a stomach ache every other day._

…_Also…when we were playing…there was mistletoe hanging on a tree…_

_I stood by it for about half an hour waiting for Grimmjow to walk by… and when he finally did…_

_Hana ran by and jump-tackled Grimmjow, screaming "FUDGE YOU MOTHER-FUDGER!"_

_Entry 984_

I wonder why Mai-chan was writin' in my diary.

Well, I shoppin' the other day, an' I met these weird people.

They said their names were Lovino, an' Antonio. They sounded Spanish :D (Look at the smiley face I drew! It's a colon an' a capital "d".)

Back ta de story. Antonio an' Lovino were weird. Lovino had a weird curl thingy on his head. 'Pparently, if ya pulled on it, he liked ta scream "CHII!" Antonio sometimes hit it accidently when he gave 'im a hug.

Antonio liked hugs.

It was weird.

_Entry 985_

Ya all still remember Hana? Mai's weird fraccion?

Ya…Mai locked her up ta'day.

Hana's been sittin' there whinin' for the past three hours.

"I'm booooorreeeeed….."

She's also been a bit cooky. It's cuz of 'er yaoi deprivation. Aizen-taichou banned all yaoi after he found Hana's stash…

Though…I think Aizen had some in his bedroom…

I ain't gonna ask.

_Entry 986_

Have ya ever thought 'bout bad words?

Ya can replace 'em wit' so many random words…like…

Holy fox plushies.

What the fudge nuggets?

Your mom.

An' more.

…I dunno why I brought dat up…

_Entry 987_

Have ya ever not checked yer email fer…like…three years?

Ya…I did dat…once…

It took me a week ta check my email.

Tousen thought I died.

…He threw a party…

An' let me just say, fer a justice lovin' freak, he throws kickass parties that are REALLY unjustly.

…He got down an' dirty like a super freak…

_Entry 988_

Is an'one utterly terrified 'bout 2012?

Well, I ain't, but Rofly is.

Ya all 'member Rofly right?

Well, he ain't remeberin' you…or anythin'…

He watched the movie, an' now he's been campin' out in Da Bag fer the past two weeks…

Yammy joins 'im sometimes.

…Then Ulquiorra dun't have an'one to mess wit', he joins 'em…

They roasted marshmallows yesterday…

…but they didn't invite me…

_Entry 989_

World War III just started in Hueco Mundo…

Doritos VS Lays…

So far, da D-dogs are winnin'…

They got weird slogans too…

Eat Lays=Get Laid!

…Nnoitra an' Grimmjow are on Team Lays…

_Entry 990_

What's da COOLEST shape ya can think of?

…Dat's right, a circle.

…What? Trampolines are circular…

_END CHAPTER_

Crappy chapter is crappy.

But I was determined to write SOMETHING.

…And I didn't want to do my homework…

But seriously, I wrote something, I DIDN'T DIE~! It's an early Christmas miracle I tell you!

Oh, and I wanted to tell you guys I made a Twitter… Anyone wanna follow me like the stalkers we all are? =D Name's Amaterasu Ai and the picture's the same one that I have here~

Well, review if you feel like it. Hope to hear from you guys =D

~Amaterasu Ai


	100. Bang

**Ichimaru Gin's Diary**

_Entry 991_

I'm almost outta pages...

It's sad :D

No wait...I meant ta do this face D:

...If dere were an emoticon fer rippin' up Diary-kun, Grimmjow woulda used it.

_Entry 992_

I should finish Diary-kun with a bang!

**That's what she said! -Nnoita**

Blow it up with a grenade. I'll help. -Grimmjow

Noo! Ya ain't supposed to do dat! Yer supposed to keep it ferever an' love an' cherish it wit' all yer heart!

**Are ya marryin' the stupid thing, or blowing it up?**

Explosions ARE cool...and pretty :D

Let's do this then, Ichimaru! I'll get the fire!

Yer not allowed ta play wit' fire, Grim'.

Yes I am.

No, yer not.

Ya, I am.

**Ya ain't doin' this again. Just get to the next entry already.**

_Entry 993_

I figured, since I wanna make dis go out wit' a bang, we'd use fireworks :D

Why do you keep writing that, Ichimaru? -Ulquiorra

Writin' what?

:D -Ulquiorra

Lol.

Lol? -Ulquiorra

Lmao.

Lmao? -Ulquiorra

TTYL BFFL XOX.

Ttyl Bffl Xox? What does this all mean? -Ulquiorra

I just got ya ta write down some funny stuff :P

...What does it mean? -Ulquiorra

Dat's a smiley face, laugh-out-loud, laughin' mah ass off, an' talk ta ya lata best friend fer life kiss hug kiss.

... -Ulquiorra

Ha-ha, I think he's in shock.

_Entry 994_

ULQUIORRA!

What? -Ulquiorra

I need ya to do one more thing.

... -Ulquiorra

Use yer hand as a gun, an' say BANG!

...

...

...

Ya...so...it's been 'bout an hour...

Well...Ulquiorra DID use 'is hand as a gun an' he DID say "bang."...But he cero'ed meh in the face...

...It hurt.

_Entry 995_

I watched TV wit' Szayel ta'day.

Don't ask why I did.

He watched dis show called "The Big Bang Theory"

It's about some nerds, so I kinda see why Pinky likes it.

...He wants ta hunt the tall ultra nerd (I think 'is name's Sheldon) down an' challenge him ta a nerd off.

...I kinda wanna go, but I'ma kinda scared 'bout what's gonna go down...

Nerds can be pretty scary.

I would say just look at Pinky when 'e's released, but yer eyes might combust.

_Entry 996_

Heh-heh...96...

Dere's no bang goin' on dere.

Heh-heh...

...

Ya, dat was dirty, I know...

Ginny's sorry.

Ta make it up to ya, I'll show ya how Yammy used ta say 'e was sorry back when 'e got a fridge stuck in 'is mouth. (I know, yer thinkin' Da fudge? Yammy apologizes?)

Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-duuuurrrrrrrr.

_Entry 997_

Ya'll never believe what we found :D

A whoopee cushion.

Not just ANY whoopee cushion, but a GIGANTIC whoopee cushion.

Ya'll never guess what we DID wit' the whoopee cushion.

We painted it white, molded it ta look like Aizan-taicho's chair...

I bet ya can guess what kinda bang came next when Aizan-taicho sat down at da next meeting.

He blamed it on Grimmjow.

_Entry 998_

_Hi everyone, Mai here._

_Ichimaru had to stay behind at the last meeting. So does Grimmjow..._

_I wonder what he did this time..._

_Something weird happened though, when the meeting first started, all throughout Las Noches, a huge, explosion-y, fart like sound was heard._

_...I don't think I'm ever letting Grimmjow eat burritos for breakfast again..._

_Well...Gin-san's Diary-kun is coming to an end...so I thought I'd write in it one last time, even if I do have my own diar-notebook. _

_Well...HERE I AM WORLD!_

_...Unless you don't want me here...then fine, I don't need you anyways..._

We all know ya do^^ Sup Mai-chan?

...She left...

I only got a couple more entries D:

An' I dunno what ta write...

Staples...

...Apple butter...

Knives...

Heh-heh...whoopee cushion...

O.O

I just walked by a gigantic tangerine...

It meow'ed...

"Grimmjow?"

_Entry 999_

_Um...some technical difficulties here..._

_Gin-san's...err...having...issues..._

_So I'm back...Did you forget me? It's me, Mai...just making sure._

_Well, I wouldn't count bawling as 'techinical' issues, but his Diary-kun, his rules._

_He told me to write for him, since if he did, he wouldn't be able to hold the pen right..._

_But I think he just doesn't know what to say._

_...I wonder if I'm just wasting even more space._

_Ow, apparently, I am, I just got slapped. _

_...By Diary-kun._

_Gin approves._

_Entry 1000_

Sorry Mai-chan ruined dat last entry.

It's de last entry!

I'm happy ta have mah time wit' you all, an' all never ferget any o ya!

Ya'll wit' wherever I go.

Love ya,

~Ichimaru Gin

_End._

Awww...this is the end. ...Yes, that last line is Gin's version of my class song. Me, Hana, Mattie, Ukei, and 'Toni all graduated not even two weeks ago. It was very sad yet awesome at the same time. Our teachers performed a school-y version of Don't Stop Believin' wearing hideous wigs that people brought in for our Mythology project. OUR GROUP BROUGHT A CONFETTI CANON. That day, half the boys in our grade wore make-up *shudder*

Anyways, This is the end. I want to thank everyone SO MUCH for reading, reviewing, favorite-ing, subscribing, and just for being awesome! Thank you so much. Domo arigatou, minna-san!

This story has been stretched out from 2010 til now. I thought I'd finish it up by now. I DID have another version of this chapter mostly written, and planned to type it, but I lost my composition notebook, so I started mostly from scratch.

Well, it's been two years, but it's finally done. Thank you everyone XD (Oh, this may be the last chapter, but I might post another talking more about the OC's that are mentioned. If there's one that you want to hear about more, then just mention them in a review or a message.

There MIGHT also be a little surprise. It won't be put up any time soon, but I have a feeling you might enjoy it. (I hope you do, it's been two years and I'm not sure how many people I have left that still even read this O.o)

Well, that's it. Thanks again for everything!

_~Amaterasu Ai_


End file.
